so i'm at the emergency room again today

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

some of you may remember me posting from the hospital last december when my skin caught itself on fire for reasons that were never completely determined. to this day my eye lids will peel and flake just from the exposure to the sun i get driving to work. i finally went to an eye doctor yesterday who prescribed me some ointment and eye drops.

this morning i woke up early and was feeling pretty good. i really felt like i was going to have a great day. the kid was listening well and getting herself dressed, the dogs had time to play in the yard a bit, the coffee was brewing, and i was ready for work almost an hour before i had to leave.

so i decide to apply the hot compress, ointment, and drops as the doctor recommended. i was all happy and even singing a song in my head about taking care of my eyeballs. after putting in the drops i thought, wow the doctor said they might burn a little, but this is ****ing ridiculous. then the smell wafted down from my eyes, or perhaps it wafted up from the bottle of ear mite medication that i was holding in my right hand. you see i had been to the vet the night before, and the ear mite medicine was placed in my pocket along with the eye drops.

leaping over cats (for whom the medicine was intended), children, and furniture i all but teleported myself to the kitchen sink. after rinsing each eye with no less than a gallon of water i began calling vets and eye doctors who all advised me to go to the er. explaining how exactly the ear mite medicine got into my eye was an experience i wont soon forget. after they found out i had already rinsed my eyes thoroughly they laughed at me and began making phone calls. they said they were calling to make sure there was nothing in the medicine that could cause continued damage after rinsing, but i'm pretty sure they were just calling their friends to make fun of me.

i left with a prescription for antibiotic eye drops, smirks, and stern advice to keep my pet's medications far away from my own. one doctor advised separate zipcodes might be best. at least my co-workers have been nice about the whole thing though. just moments ago i received a very informative faq on ear mites:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.marvistavet.com/assets/images/ear_mite.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.marvistavet.com/html/body_ear_mites.html&h=432&w=331&sz=60&tbnid=7UTi9QQdGNUJ:&tbnh=122&tbnw=94&start=3&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dear%2Bmites%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3D UTF-8%26sa%3DG

[Fu-Pow]

Nice work....

It reminds me of the time when I was a kid and I thought someone left some cottage cheese out on the counter ....seeing as I love cottage cheese.... I quickly grabbed a spoon, scooped out a bite and......lo and behold....it was wall spackle!!!!:D A taste I think I'll never forget.

[rubthebuddha]

GDA just can't win. :(

yet no one but god would dare **** with him. :o

[Oso]

GDA, I hope you intended for us to laugh with you on that one...I sure did.

Hope your rotting orbs get better.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

lol.... yeah it was intended for a laugh.

i just wish i were making it up. they called it chemical conjuntivitis on the er report.

[rogue]

GDA, is that your picture by your handle?

[CaptinPickAxe]

LMAO! Holy crap!
Thats some Ben Stiller type isht!
:D

[norther practitioner]

Smooth move bro, smooth move..


glad to hear you didn't lose your eyesight.

[Toby]

Originally posted by rubthebuddha
yet no one but god would dare **** with him. :o Not with Satan at his side ;).

Sucks to be you, GDA. Thanks for the laugh, though.

[Serpent]

So far, this is the only reason that I'm glad you didn't die yet.

;)

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

i don't think im allowed to die serp. i think that there is a god. and i don't think god is real fond of me. i think that god picks on me the same way you might pick on a slightly retarded kid. you don't want to be so mean that he never comes around anymore, but you **** with him as much as possible without crossing that line. besides it's not like your doing it out of malice, just for the entertainment value alone. at least i can say that i bring god happiness and laughter.

[red5angel]

Thats ok, just a few weeks ago I brushed my teeth with prescription strength cortizone. I had just woke up so it didn't occur to me until probbaly about 30 seconds or so after I started brushing that the reason my toothpaste tasted funny, was because it probably wasn't toothpaste.

[Shaolinlueb]

aw man that sucks. at least you can see still. so that is a picture of you in your avatar huh?

[BM2]

Well I guess we could all laugh at some of the things we've done.
When I was a teenager, I took a shower with the dog's flea soap because my sister had washed the dog with it and left it in there.
I came out of the shower talking about how cool the new bar of soap was. Light could pass through it, but it smelled a little funny.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

my buddy just told me about a time his grandmother went to wash her mouth out with listorine, but grabbed a bottle of pinesol instead. imagine what her breath smelled like all day.

[rubthebuddha]

mmmmmpinefresh

[scotty1]

LOL:D

Glad you can still see.

[fa_jing]

Once I was stoned and trying to clean out the bathtub with Oven Cleaner (naturally) which is primarily Lye soap. It comes in an aerosol can and sprays a concentrated stream. Well I leaned over to point it at the bottom of the top, and pressed the top - but I had the thing rotated backwards so that it was pointing at me instead of what I was trying to spray. I sprayed myself directly in the eye. I washed out for like half an hour, but it did permanantly affect my vision as far as I can tell - everything seems slighty less bright with that eye.:eek: :rolleyes: :p

[IronFist]

Originally posted by fa_jing
Once I was stoned and trying to clean out the bathtub with Oven Cleaner (naturally) which is primarily Lye soap. It comes in an aerosol can and sprays a concentrated stream. Well I leaned over to point it at the bottom of the top, and pressed the top - but I had the thing rotated backwards so that it was pointing at me instead of what I was trying to spray. I sprayed myself directly in the eye. I washed out for like half an hour, but it did permanantly affect my vision as far as I can tell - everything seems slighty less bright with that eye.:eek: :rolleyes: :p

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Did you ever go to a doctor to have it checked out?

[fa_jing]

No, on account of I don't think there would be anything they could do for it, other than wash it out with saline solution which is pretty much the same as the eyedrops I applied.

[red5angel]

my skin caught itself on fire for reasons that were never completely


more importantly then anything else that has been said on this thread - are we talking spontaneous human combustion on a small scale here?

[BM2]

Originally posted by fa_jing
Once I was stoned and trying to clean out the bathtub with Oven Cleaner (naturally) which is primarily Lye soap. It comes in an aerosol can and sprays a concentrated stream. Well I leaned over to point it at the bottom of the top, and pressed the top - but I had the thing rotated backwards so that it was pointing at me instead of what I was trying to spray. I sprayed myself directly in the eye. I washed out for like half an hour, but it did permanantly affect my vision as far as I can tell - everything seems slighty less bright with that eye.:eek: :rolleyes: :p

Man oh man.

Caught a movie theater seat on fire from getting stoned while in the theater.
Ran my Harley up the side of a rock face because I was drunk. Missed the stop sign. Bled internally from my testicles. Too bad the swelling went down. My glasses were pushed into my face and I have a scar near my mouth to the corner of my nose now.
Passed out while standing up from smoking, drinking whiskey and inhaling laughing gas. Hit the garage floor backwards and saw stars, really. Couldn't stand up but kinda slid my face across the floor trying anyway. Had a lump on the back of my head like you would not believe.
The other stuff I am too embaressed to post.:rolleyes:

[TenTigers]

I'll see ya, and raise ya one...
1) am I the only one that noticed (too late) that preparation H and toothpaste both come in a tube? The swelling in my gums went down, however.
2) My mom sometimes to clean the toilet would pour clorox in it and let it sit for awhile. So I walk into the bathroom, and pee in it,'cause it's going to flush anyway, right? And I happen to detct a strange odor wafting up at me. (funny, I don't remember eating asparagus) so like a fukin idiot, I put my head down to the bowl and take a whiff...and frekin gag my head off. Urine has amonia,and when mixed with chlorox, creates chlorine gas-which is deadly. This went right through me. I felt it in my head, stomach,on a cellular level. I had to go out into the air and didnt feel right for about an hour, which I suppose is better than bein dead.
3) there's this little cajun place I like to frequent, and I tell all my friends about. Well, my friend went there and said they brought out this hot sause called "endorphin rush" to the table, but they were wearing rubber gloves, and the bottle was wrapped in a towel. When queried why all the hazmat stuff,they told the story of a patron, who after using it, must've gotten a little residue on his hands from the side of the bottle, and when he went to the bathroom.....well, Andy Warhol talks about 15 min of fame, he never mentioned my 15 min of flame! Luckily for me, this happened when I got home. If it happened in the resteraunt, you would've seen me straddling the sink, screaming. My (ex) girlfriend loves telling this story.

[IronFist]

^ I know what Endorphine Rush is. I bought a bottle once. You guys, I'm serious. One drop on anything is more than enough. If you mess up and put this on liberally like you might with regular hot sauce or tabasco, you will probably pass out or end up in the emergency room. A drop on the end of a toothpick will have your mouth burning for 15 minutes. They shouldn't even make stuff like that. You could really f.uck someone up with it.

[Serpent]

Originally posted by GunnedDownAtrocity
i don't think im allowed to die serp. i think that there is a god. and i don't think god is real fond of me. i think that god picks on me the same way you might pick on a slightly retarded kid. you don't want to be so mean that he never comes around anymore, but you **** with him as much as possible without crossing that line. besides it's not like your doing it out of malice, just for the entertainment value alone. at least i can say that i bring god happiness and laughter.
Well, that gives you more of god's attention than most people. You should be proud. ;)

[TenTigers]

well said, GDA . attitude is everything. My partner in crime was stage 4 non-hodgkins lymphoma, the doctors told her to get her house in order. She said."F*** you" to the doctors, ripped her chemo pack out of her arm and stomped out of the hospital. Seven years later and she's still stompin around. (BTW,before she discovered the essential oils methodology she uses today, she used leatrile,Essiac,juicing -carrot,dong kuei,vitex,black walnut, royal jelly, and ginko biloba. sometimes I would add beets including stems to the juice. we would mix the juice with orange juice to make it palatable (actually sunny-d, of all things)
if you are feeling better, this protocal is good for your immune and rebuilding, and as maintenance.
We were at Sifu Chan Tai-San's funeral yesterday, and we were discussing how Sifu was one of those old codgers who just refused to go until he was **** good 'n ready. I guess we'd better start actin ornery.

[HopGar]

Here's one
I got pegged in the eye with a juggling cube. Basically, my brother pegged in the face with it. Gave me a shiner.......messed up my vision, I'm probably going to need reading glasses...Those things hurt like hell!!!

Another one:
I know someone who instead of that binaca breath freshener spray used sunglasses cleaner...what a rude wake up call.

Peace

[blooming lotus]

GDA: I have little place on this thread , but I want to say that you dude have more bad luck and come-backedness than almost anyone I've ever met in my life!!!!!!!!