Types of people on a MA forum

[IronFist]

Add to the list if you think I've left any out:

1. The "TMA is too deadly for the street" people. You know them because they say things like "TMA is way better than MMA. The only reason TMA people suffer loss after loss is because they can't use any real techniques in the ring. You know, no iron palm, or eye gauges, or chin na (the small joint kind)

2. The "MMA owns TMA" people. These people say things like "TMA sucks because TMA'ists lose every time in the ring." They usually train in MMA themselves and could probably beat most people on the board.

3. The fortune cookie wisdom masters. These people contribute little, because their answers to everyones questions are in the form of cryptic, psuedo-Chinese master babblings. Someone might ask the question "does anyone have any strategies I can use to improve my sparring?" and the fortune cookie wisdom master might reply "Ah, the dragon who sees his own breath will not be left behind." Noobs may be in awe at the seemingly in depth answer, but from everyone else it will just get a collective "wtf? stfu!"

4. The "my skills are incredible" poster. This person may or may not even practice a martial art in real life. However, on the forum, they are the grand ultimate master who easily defeats opponents all the time. They might (claim to) have an iron palm that can break 10 bricks with no spacers, be able to shoot chi-blasts, used to live in China and trained with a master so secret they can't even mention his name, etc. This person is usually a TMA who has stories of defeating practicioners of all other TMAs, as well as MMAs. They say that weight lifting is no match for traditional kung fu strength building exercises.

5. The "empty cup" poster. This person is awesome and regardless of his or her level of experience, always has an open mind about everything they hear.

6. The lurker. Unknown levels of experience. Unknown styles. May be a 10 time nhb champion or someone who is just becoming interested in MA. But since they don't post, they're lurkers, and we don't know who they are.

7. Trolls. They make the board fun sometimes. Usually they're *******es, but every once in a while you get a good one. They're still *******es, tho. They like to start sh.it, and then let people argue for a while, and then come in in the middle and say the opposite of what they declared before. They either plan it that way, or they're the most illogical, short-term memory-deprived people on the internet.

8. The leg humpers. You can tell a leg humper because as soon as a female announces her presence, all the leg humpers reply in 0.00000001 seconds. Little do they know the "female" is probably not a female. Notice how threads by someone whose username includes "chick," "girl," "grrl," or something of the sort will quickly be filled up by replies from the leg humpers.

[Serpent]

9. The blooming lotus - this person knows nothing at all, but is convinced they know everything. When proven wrong, even in the face of numerous sources of independant evidence, they will still claim to be right and stick to their own twisted lunacy. They claim to have numerous skills and abilities that they quite evidently, even from an internet forum, do not have. They are a complete pain in the arse.

[joedoe]

What about the average Joe who just comes here to see what is happening and maybe learn something along the way? :)

[Enforcer-]

I noticed some people only train once a week in mma and claim mma owns all styles or mma is unbeatbale and they think they are experts on what works and what doesnt even though they never were exposed to other styles outside of a ufc video.

Serious Harm put it nicely on bullshido:


basically the whole internet martial art community is stuck in what Bruce Lee would call "the classical mess.

[Enforcer-]

Originally posted by Serpent
9. The blooming lotus - this person knows nothing at all, but is convinced they know everything. When proven wrong, even in the face of numerous sources of independant evidence, they will still claim to be right and stick to their own twisted lunacy. They claim to have numerous skills and abilities that they quite evidently, even from an internet forum, do not have. They are a complete pain in the arse.

leave blooming lotus alone, what has she done that deserves this hostility? And IronFIst why don't you name a poster for each one of your classifications?

[IronFist]

Originally posted by joedoe
What about the average Joe who just comes here to see what is happening and maybe learn something along the way? :)

That was type 5. Altho I guess I implied that this person already has some MA knowledge, so your classification is good and valid. Type 10. Nicely done.

[IronFist]

Originally posted by Enforcer-
leave blooming lotus alone, what has she done that deserves this hostility?

Clearly you're a noob. Ask a member called "Toby" what BL has done. :D


And IronFIst why don't you name a poster for each one of your classifications?

I'm not trying to assign any stereotypes.

[Enforcer-]

it would be funny though.

[joedoe]

Originally posted by IronFist
Clearly you're a noob. Ask a member called "Toby" what BL has done. :D



I'm not trying to assign any stereotypes.

Sure you aren't ... :D

[neit]

how about

10. "rare style/weapon hunter" always blither blathering about "scandinavian wrestling this" "turkish sabres that" "i have combined my tkd with some olde english boxing i learned from pics on the internet"

[SevenStar]

Originally posted by IronFist
Clearly you're a noob. Ask a member called "Toby" what BL has done. :D

he's not a noob, but maybe pretending to be. unmatchable got banned and his new incarnation is enforcer.

[Sang Feng Fan]

How about the self promoting types, trying to drum up business and those off-topic posters and the cross-forum posters?

[old jong]

How about the "MMA/BJJ pontifier" who,out of his great kindness and unconditional love for TMA mankind,accept to teach the lower kinds how they could make their Kung Fu work in MMA competitions...;)

[IronFist]

This is the greatest thread ever.

Bump bump!!

[WinterPalm]

What about people on a Kung Fu forum that don't practice Kung Fu?:D

[rubthebuddha]

14ish. the people who know exactly what they're talking about, make perfectly logical sense, shares their expertise generously, yet get sick of the bs and decide to bail on us and go write a book on exercise science and training. these dirty bastages are often named after characters from hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

[Vash]

Speaking of which, those free copies we're getting, are they autographed, or do I have to learn to forge yet another signature?

[Palmer]

So Ironfist where do you put yourself from your list?

[Mr Punch]

15 ish. The Cross-poster.

Hangs about on all the MA forums, doesn't practise anything and cuts valid things other people say about all MA to be pasted in another forum under his own name. Comes across as a fount of all knowledge till he gets rumbled. Also posts loads of random clips of martial arts, none of which he can identify.

16. The Fat Old-timer (AKA the Original Keyboard Warrior).

He did elite hardcore D3@d1y taichi for twenty years, but somehow never managed to make it, and now is 'having a bit of dispute with the teaching style' of ALL of the local taichi teachers, drinks a lot, and sits behind his keyboard pontificating on life the universe and everything, esp how dangerous he would be if pushed, how bad politics are in X (pick any country he's never been to) and how there's no such thing as chi, but he's seen some pretty strange things in his time, and how he used to shoot at barns with an air gun when he was a kid so he knows all about home defence.

[Mr Punch]

Originally posted by Palmer
So Ironfist where do you put yourself from your list? Let's not forget

17. The Pointed Noob.

Comes on, posts lots of pointed questions without revealing anything about himself, then disappears in puff of smoke up his own ass when he decides he's too elite/mature/knowledgeable/pwnd to stay here.

Er hi Palmer, welcome to the board!

18. The Kick-ass Noob.

Comes on with the best intentions, after training for forty years in the special forces, with the most scientific modern AND traditional styles, with compassion, maturity and a world of exp, then somebody says 'How can you say you know that a bigger guy will beat a smaller guy in an otherwise equal set of factors?' or some other dumb **** and he disappears.

19. The Dirty Great Noob.

Comes on, says 'Hi I'm looking to train martial arts i'm really realy seriouos how do i gget to shaolin i7ve got lots of exp one day i was beatne to **** by my aunt who tried to rape me in the trailer and i leraned some ninjitsu by studying charts ina assida kum book i think that was his name so how do i get to the shaolin temple and do they teach real ninjutsu and how do i know if what they teach is the real deadly skills if bruce lee was alive he'd kick their asses cos i saw it on k1 so please does anyone have any ideas and is china really a big dangeous place and do they eat dogs/rape strangers/let you out of the country/and can i get a job teaching the prime minister english?' then disappears again in the Buddhist cycle of trailer park samsara.

20. Blooming Lotus.

A bit like number 19, but really really stupid. :D and doesn't ****ing go away. :(

[Mr Punch]

Oh no! Just found out she's gone!

So my last post was really really uncalled for!

I'm devastated! [pops open a cold one]

[SPJ]

Personally, I think there are 2 types of posters only.

1) a student. He or she will post valid questions in training, apps, real life or ring events etc. He or she wants feedback or more inputs as much as possible.

2) a teacher. He or she will read all the posts. At critical juncture, he or she will post some relevant answers.

If you are neither, ask yourself this.

What are you doing here anyway?

Post to learn.

Post to inform.

or post to what?

Read the post to learn.

Read the post to interact.

Read the post to answer.

or read the post for what?

:confused:

[Mr Punch]

I disagree for two reasons.

1) Some people come here for entertainment or to chill out. Some of those people (I suppose that's one of the reasons I come here) hope to pick something up on the way and maybe occasionally think they can answer something to help somebody sometimes.

2) A lot of people are students in one field, teachers in another, and nothing in several others.

Of ocurse this kind of list is based on stereotypes. So making such a list into only two stereotypes is far too black and white, although a useful exercise in thinking.

[Palmer]

Originally posted by Mat
Let's not forget

17. The Pointed Noob.

Comes on, posts lots of pointed questions without revealing anything about himself, then disappears in puff of smoke up his own ass when he decides he's too elite/mature/knowledgeable/pwnd to stay here.

Er hi Palmer, welcome to the board!

(

Er Hey Mat nice to meet you too? Not!

Revealing nothing about myself? Look at my profile what I train is listed what else do you want to know? Want to know my favorite color?I didnt see a long list of credentials on any other post or when people start threads? Are we not allowed to ask questions fool?

21. The fairy tale ma poster
Thinks that martial arts forums are really there own little worlds where people exist and do not have lives outside of them. So they judge/labels others as such not realizing those people are actually living in the real world its only the fairy tale poster that is not. :)
Oh nice to meet you too Mat!

[Mr Punch]

Hehehe.

Well that told me.

My apologies.

Do you have humour in your part of the world?! :D

[SPJ]

Agreed that some are here to chill out and post fairy tale styles.

22nd; post to support the forum.

To disseminate info about TCMA history, legends, training, apps, who is who, current events, current trends in TCMA in China and abroad.

To share links, personal skills, knowhow, tips etc.

Sorry cannot find any category above.

:)

[Palmer]

Originally posted by Mat
Hehehe.

Well that told me.

My apologies.

Do you have humour in your part of the world?! :D

No problem Mat

[IronFist]

The influx of noobs in this thread is suspect.

[omarthefish]

Originally posted by SPJ
[B]Personally, I think there are 2 types of posters only.

1) a student. He or she will post valid questions in training, apps, real life or ring events etc. He or she wants feedback or more inputs as much as possible.

2) a teacher. He or she will read all the posts. At critical juncture, he or she will post some relevant answers.



Matt just summed it up.

If the subject is life in China, circle walking or Baji I .... as far as message boards are concerned....am a teacher.

When groundwork, especially various submissions and counters comes up I am an eager student.

I have to qualify both of those though because I am NOT a Baji or bagua teacher in reality or a true expert on China. It just kind of depends on who's posting. Same for grappling too. I'm not a total noob at it. I recognize it's not my forte and defer to the experts but sometimes it does look like I am the most knowledgable one posting AT THE TIME.

But the biggest problem with those 2 categories, except as temporary pigeon holes for specific topics, is that living in China, I don't watch TV, I don't have a night life, I don't have local friends interested in MA and more sifnifigantly I don't have ANYONE around here who speaks English and these boards are about the only place I can express myself in my mother toungue. lol So the social aspect is signifigant.

[SPJ]

Well said.

Understood.

Points taken.

Cheers.

:D

[mickey]

Ironfist,

What would you call those that really have to post as a theraputic means to divert their hands away from the insides of their pants?

mickey

[mickey]

Nevermind Ironfist,

I found the answer all by myself.........


The Mickies

[wushu chik]

Originally posted by IronFist
Notice how threads by someone whose username includes "chick," "girl," "grrl," or something of the sort will quickly be filled up by replies from the leg humpers.

Yeah, thats a good point IF, but I think more then enough people on this board could tell you that I am in fact a girl...........;).....Stacey on the other hand.........

~Wen~

[Fu-Pow]

20ish)

The Know-It-All. Think they know everything about everyone and everything. If you attack anything they state as "fact" they become argumentative. They will argue to the cows come home about minutiae until the discussion becomes generally meaningless and useless. The phrase "approximately", "generally" and "good enough" aren't in their vocabulary. Everything is up for debate and only can be "proven" by the "scientific method" which is applied (albeit incorrectly) to everything from science to history and beyond. (note: the know-it-all usually has zero formal scientific training.)

And I'd say that the know-it-all describes about %50 of the regular posters on this forum. And also is why this forum sucks most of the time.