How to become a street fighter?

[WanderingMonk]

Well, every once a while, someone would post that kung-fu figther will be no match against a street figther. it takes so long to train in kung-fu, so I thought may be I'll take the short cut. so, tell me how to become a street fighter.

How do you go about acquiring street fighter skillz?

Is there a tournament to decide who is the toughest street fighter?

Does street fighter use "chi"?

When will I know that I have become a street fighter?

No, I will not wear Ryu or Ken's gi.

I await your answers with great anticipation.

[brothernumber9]

how to become a street fighter:

First,
If you are near the D.C. area go to either Palmer park or the corner of Minnesota & Benning and yell out the "N" word while pointing at the most thuggish looking dudes you see. Assuming you live, then your training will be complete. Similar or harder training can be received at other major cities including Atlanta, Detroit, Englewood, Oakland, Kansas City, New York, Baltimore, Philly, New Orleans, Houston, etc.

Second,
no tournaments needed. Save a few grand, call Kimbo Slice and fight him. If you beat him then only Sonny Chiba would stand in your way.

[Ai Lek Ou Seun]

Um....

3 step process.....

1) Get into fights.
2) Get beat up.
3) One day you figure out how not to get beat up.

Now you are a street fighter with a toofless smile.:D

Now you can get into fights and beat people up.

Added bonus is you have no teeth to knock out. :p

[jon]

I can give you some advice on how to become one if that will help?


Just go around telling everyone about all the mystical fights that you constantly get into when no one else is looking.

Refuse to acknowledge that you have ever been foolish enough to actualy 'learn' anything at all and instead keep on insisting that its all natuaral instinct.

Watch a lot of crappy old 80s American pride movies like Rocky and Rambo along with a good dose of Commando and Lethal Weapon.

Walk with a rediculous stagger and swear constantly.

Try and wear clothing which you believe would be intimidating to average passers by, both Metalica and Pro Wrestling shirts are excerlent choices. You can also wear commen sports brands like Addidas and Puma but only if there at least 3 sizes to large.

Drive a ute and drink a *lot*, so much so that you actualy *need* to make up stories to jusitify to your workmates just why the hell you look so darned trashed.

Try and make a habbit of errupting into mindless slanging matches with people on the street, only to threaten violence and require being 'held back' by either your girlfriend or an extreamly weedy mate.

Never let anyone 'dis' you, infact such an act is punishible by making up more stories about how you plan to mess said person up... provided you cant avoid running into them, if you do - remember the girlfriend restraint method.

Try and intimidate those obviously smaller, younger and weaker than you... its only fair.

Always carry a weapon, preferably a large one... last thing you want is to be caught with a berreta when your opponent has a magnum... come to think of it automatic firearms are probarly called for, nothing wrong with ground to air missiles either.

Solve all problems with violence, especialy ones involving small fluffy animals.

Pick a racial minority to hate on, you will need something to help you fuel all that pent up self loathing.

Develop an acute and unjustified hatred of basicaly any authority figure.

Develop some form of a drug addiction, you need something to fight over after all and the basketball court is getting kinda boring.

Yell abuse at random passers by when your in a car, you must have people in fear even when passing them in at speed. If they dont fear you - shoot them.

When you go to mcdonalds always try and get angry at the 14yo trainee behind the counter.

Cover your arms in tattoos, they must be scary and preferably fairly monotone. You want to look all scary with your skulls and stuff - no dayglo fairys!

Well it should get you started anyway:D

[FuXnDajenariht]

You mention 80's movies and not American Ninja and its 4 sequels? :eek:

Tis a crime....

[WanderingMonk]

so, the general consenus is if I work on being mean, a bully, lost of all social norm, I can consider myself a street fighter. :)

[Samurai Jack]

Originally posted by WanderingMonk
so, the general consenus is if I work on being mean, a bully, lost of all social norm, I can consider myself a street fighter. :)

Well that's one route. The other option would be to wear a bright red keikogi with torn-off-sleeves and learn to throw electric blue fireballs. However you DID indicate that you'd prefer not to, so I didn't mention it earlier.

[Shaolinlueb]

go fight all thsoe ***** asses in the street.

[IronFist]

Where's that one website, "How to win any fight" or whatever it was called?