Real Vampires Are Sweet!

[Mr Punch]

Read this thread! (http://imdb.com/title/tt0359013/board/nest/13658413)

You'll flip out and bite your mom in the head. If not the whole thread, read the contributions by Istigall-1. He's sweet!

But the question is... are vampires mammals?:D

[SevenStar]

ROFL, the sole reason I clicked on this was to type "yeah, but are vampires mammals?" and you beat me to it. Great minds think alike...

[Royal Dragon]

First, Only Nijas are Mammals


Favorite quites form the thread

1. "Now, of course you're asking, "Why don't we hear about more Vampire victims on the news?" It's because, like ninjas, Vampires are very sly and cunning. Hiding is one of the foremost Vampire traits--that is, hiding themselves and the bodies of their victims. Ever heard of a missing person?


2. First let's cover the most important questions posted on this thread, mainly "Are vampires real?" The answer to this is 10000% yes, with an emphasis on yes

3. Why are these vampires not flooding the streets killing everyone and sucking all of our blood? For the same reason the human race doesn't slaughter all of the other wildlife and fauna on this planet (although some would argue that we do).

4. Vampires are invariably much smarter than us and tolerate our prescense for many reasons (which I do not feel the need to go in to right now).

5. Second is there scientifc proof of vampires? Again the answer is yes. While vampires are notoriously private about their affairs, there is something that we in the field refer to as the Nocturna Ankh Dilemma.


Royal Dragon comment]
We "in the field?" what the hell does THAT mean??

6. The result on the child though is a type of anemia known as a hematininc deficiency. The child has a lack of hematin in his/her blood which makes the child unable to bind oxygen molecules with which to nourish his or her body. The child must replenish this hematin from an outside source (and therefore literally ingest blood from another source) in order to satisfy this vital anatomically necessity. Cases of this are quite common,

Royal Dragon Comment]
I actually know a Girl wiht this. She is not very strong, and sickly all the time and every 6 weeks or so muct go in for a transfusion. Coincedentally, she is a total night owl, and is rarely up before 3:00 excet to send her kid to school.


7. You should simply believe me on the basis that I am much smarter than you, and have attained a higher degree of education than all of you. If I explain further, I seriously doubt any of you would understand.


8. It is clear from your writings that you refuse to believe in vampires because of your associations with Christianity. I must be frank with you, and mean no harm when I tell you this, but Jesus Christ was a vampire. His blood drenched hands proves that vampires exist.

Well. I tried for 10, but only made it to 8. Oh well, anyone care to add??

[Mr Punch]

You're missing the BL-like non-sequiturs and 'proof' from educational superiority!


while your statements are pure in heart and intention they are inherently flawed in that you believe myself to be a novice. As a matter of fact I have degrees in both Romanian history and horticulture, not to mention an avid vampire enthusiast. The importance of this lies in the fact that I can confirm with absolute certainty that Dracula Ascension is one of the most historically accurate vampire movies of all time. Wes Craven himself is purportedly a direct decendent of the great Kaiser Wilhelm. Undoubtedly these leaves little speculation as to his passion for vampire films. I realize many who attempt to critize Dracula Ascension are ignorant and probably have received less than second rate educations.


Not revealed. Not defined. Not understood. Not unglorious. The modern vampire.

Chances are you have passed one on the streets at night. Chances are you have been sized up for a meal but passed over at the last minute. For some reason I am compelled to answer the posted questions. I feel like the modern vampire is grossly misunderstood by the human public. Vampires do not bear ill-will towards humans. Vampires actually admire them for their raw emotion, their compassion, and their garlic bread. It is simply an unfortunate dichotomy that exists between the two worlds. You are mystified over the Vampiric world. Vampires like to eat you.

... It's not aliens, friends (but thanks for the cover). Humans should be thanking their lucky stars for blood banks (one of the few facts from Blade that hold true). But cold blood is detestable, however much a necessity. And needless to say, blood is not like some tv dinner one can reheat. 98.6 degrees. No more. No less. A culinary delight....and this is priceless... Ninja vs Vampire!:D
But I digress, and feel the need to discuss an important fact mentioned by joelr in his last post, and by this I mean ninjas, real life ninjas. The chronological tale of both the ninja and vampire is vastly intertwined throughout recorded history. Although not portrayed much by Hollywood anymore, I remember a time when you could not pick up a book on vampires without reading about the night assassins, ninjas, who trailed these nocturnal beasts relentlessly. The first recorded vampire hunters were in fact the nijas of yore. Although not historically well documented, ninjas, the assassins of the people, (as opposed to samurais who were in service to a master much like knights to a king) were sworn to purging the land of the vast evil that vampires composed. I assume this is where the idea of wesley snipes' karate action vampire hunting style came from.And how could we forget this... the ultimate proof...
All I need say is this....vampires are real, 100%, nay 1000% real. I have offered proof as to how these creatures may exist biologically, yet many of you have turned a blind eye. Second lets address vampires prevelence in the history of Romania. The country is the birthplace of vampires, how could its history not be riddled with vampiryl anecdotes?? I am willing to bet that many of you know a vampire without even knowing it, you may even be a vampire yourself, setting in your chair reading this message and thinking "I am a vampire, yet I don't believe in them." Tell me who sounds ridiculous now....the answer is you. You are a vampire who doesn't even know it, writting about how you don't believe in vampires. I rest my case. The Vampire is YOU!

[Kristoffer]

You are the vampire! :D :D :D

[rogue]

I still have some questions:

1. Do chi blasts work on vampires?
2. Will the smell from my brand new black feiyue shoes keep them at bay?
3. If the living dead took over the world could the vampires survive on zombie blood? Would the zombies eat the vampires? If a zombie bit a vampire would the vampire turn into a zombie?
4. Bruce Lee vs a vampire, who'd win?

[Mr Punch]

Originally posted by rogue
4. Bruce Lee vs a vampire, who'd win? Good question. Well would Bruce be a zombie or a mummy, or is he still alive and well in a vampire-hunting ninja training camp?

[red5angel]

holy crap! This guy has it ALL WRONG!!!








The Blade trilogy rocks!

[Kristoffer]

1. Do chi blasts work on vampires?

No. Vampires have no soul. They are dead creatures (but still imortal) with no life force = no qi. So a qi blast would be like blowing wind on them.

3. If the living dead took over the world could the vampires survive on zombie blood? Would the zombies eat the vampires? If a zombie bit a vampire would the vampire turn into a zombie?

If the zombies took over the world then that would mean the vampires are actually in controll. Zombies would just be walking meals for them. However, since no more humans are born, eventually when the vampires have eaten all the Z's there's no more food and that means no more life on earth. Unless the vampires have to start breeding horses so they can continue their sucking.
I don't think a zombie would try eat a vamp coz they aren't living ppl with warm brains. But if someone got bitten by mistake there would be a new hybrid of dead meat and vampire.

4. Bruce Lee vs a vampire, who'd win?

Bruce Lee won all his fights against the vampires. they blamed the loss on poor conditioning though

[Shaolinlueb]

i thought vampires could control zombies as their servents. or at least dracula could ;) a zombie vampire. hmmm interesting.