Reality Check Videos

[Darren Laur]

I know I have not posted here in a very long time, but please go to:

http://www.personalprotectionsystems.ca/multimedia.htm

and click on the video clips for some perspective on the violent and fluid nature of real violence.


Darren



PS: many of my articles can also be downloaded for free at:

http://www.personalprotectionsystems.ca/safetyarticles.htm

[Samurai Jack]

Wow Darren, thanks for the great link! I've been wading through all of the information for a few hours already, and I still haven't seen it all.

I especially like the WWII combatives articles, as I like to collect old training manuals from that era. Of course, the reality videos are also useful.

Beware that some viewers may find some of the video images disturbing. Definately not for children.

[Can-O-Bud]

I guess what I'm getting at is that once my MA instructor told me that a good martial artist sticks up for himself.

I'm also of the opinion that verbal abuse, in many cases, can be as bad as physical abuse. and most people can be goaded into a fight by verbal attacks alone.

[Darren Laur]

Several new clips are up

Darren

[Darren Laur]

20+ new video of street fights caught on tape are up

Darren

[Scott R. Brown]

Hi Can-O-Bud,

I was searching old threads and came upon your post. I noticed no one answered your question so I thought I would take sometime to respond.

The attitude of taking no crap from anyone is not really a very productive attitude and can be downright foolish when facing an armed adversary. It takes a very proficient MA to disarm a weapon wielding adversary, and even the best may only have one chance before they are permanently maimed or killed. And heaven forbid if you are facing a skilled knife fighter.

If you talk to any MA who has been around long enough and who possesses even just a modicum of wisdom and experience they will be able to tell you a number of stories about MA who thought they were invincible and had to learn the hard way about their limitations.

Here is one story:

This concerns my brother-in-law and one of his friends. My brother-in-law began training in the MA when he was about 10 years old. He trained extensively in 3 or 4 different styles and was quite proficient. A friend of his was into Kenpo and a former Army Ranger and was considered better than my brother-in-law. This friend was murdered by an old girlfriend who shot him with a .32 cal pistol. His friend never had the opportunity to get close enough to the woman to have the chance to defend himself. He tried, but he failed. Following the murder my brother-in-law was never able to train again. His artificial bubble of invincibility was shattered and he has never quite recovered to this day. His error was he believed the hype about the MA. MA does not make you invincible.

It takes years of training, but also emotional maturity and psychological insight to be a survivor in many situations. His friend may have survived had he attempted to talk to his old girlfriend, but his ego would not allow someone to threaten him without a response. In his mind he was thinking, “How dare she pull a gun on me?” He forgot that no one can outrun a bullet and he died for it. He was defeated by his ego not the woman. Maturity and psychological insight would have allowed him to calm the situation and try to reason with the woman. It is possible she never intended to kill him but wanted to ventilate her feelings and took the gun as protection, knowing his aggressiveness. His actions actually encouraged her to pull the trigger in a manner of speaking. There are other details I will not relate that indicate his strategy was not appropriate for the circumstances, but in truth, the final proof is, he is dead!!

Another story:

This occurred over 20 years ago. One of my fellow students, a very proficient one as well and a 3rd degree black belt, became a bouncer in a bar. One night there was a mass fight and he got his butt kicked royally!! His way of coping with this reality was to redefine it as a victory in his own mind. To this day he tells the redefined heroic tale to his students. I was not present at the fight, but I talked to one of his adult students who was present and he would laugh at my friend behind his back because he knew what really happened.

There is a time to stand up and a time to back down. We need to learn when it is appropriate and safe to stand up and when it is wiser to back down. It is commonly understood that you stand up when your life in actual danger, not pretend danger. Usually if a person is displaying a weapon he is trying to scare you and doesn’t really want to hurt you, he either wants to avoid being hurt by you or he wants something from you, like money. Is $20 really worth risking your safety, or killing or maiming someone for? In reality you are not fighting to defend your money, but your ego. So now you killed or maimed someone for your ego, this is less appropriate then killing someone over $20. Real knife fighters won’t let you know they have a knife until you are already cut, or dead. Here is another true story:

This is about a guy who went to my high school. He crashed a party at a small town about 20 miles away. Some big football player didn’t like him there and called him out. They went out to the front yard and the football player started to mouth off and posture in an attempt to intimidate this guy. The guy pulled out a straight razor and slit the guy’s throat! He died!! He never had a chance because this guy never intended to scare him, he intended to kill him.

In all of these circumstances that major factor was an out of control ego. It is our ego that says, “How dare you do this to me?” Then our ego attempts to impose its will upon the situation. Just as you don’t want to be dominated, neither does your adversary want to be dominated by you. This attitude of, “How dare you!!”, leads to anger. Once angry our behavior is ruled by our emotions not our reason and we react in unreasonable and unproductive, i.e. unsafe, ways. We can no longer assess the situation properly because we are attempting to live up to our fantasy about ourselves.

Being dominated or abused is an attitude we hold in our minds and not really and outward event we experience. It is how we choose to interpret the event that will make us feel small or powerless. Submissiveness to an event is subjective. Others may interpret your actions as submissive, but it is what is in your own mind that determines the truth of it.

Our desire to save face in front of our friends is another factor that will motivate us to make an unproductive decision. This is just another manifestation of our ego as well.

Some teach their students to walk with their heads held high projecting an attitude of power or confidence. This is ok, but what it us really doing is demonstrating insecurity. There is no need to project anything if you are truly confident. A person with REAL confidence has no need to project anything because he is centered within himself. He is balanced and therefore unconcerned with how others perceive him.

When an adversary approaches you his primary weapon is intimidation. If you project an attitude of power or confidence an adversary may be intimidated into backing down, but it may also escalate the situation. It is more effective to display an attitude of non-concern, or disaffectedness. This is an attitude of centeredness and it is unsettling to an adversary because it displays true confidence while does not seek to challenge his ego. You are not afraid and not concerned and this is unsettling to and insecure person, because it does not fit into his experience or world view.

This is why it is said we should return anger with kindness; not the appeasement which reflects our insecurity and fear, but gentle confidence without an attempt to dominate.

People fear being dominated by others and many hostilities are unhealthy reactions to that fear. If I can dominate you then I don’t have to fear being dominated by you. So by displaying a non-confrontational attitude you are not perceived as a threat and the adversary does not feel the need to dominate you to protect his ego.

I hope this is helpful for you,

[Natus Denuo]

I must say, those videos made me laugh a bit. The people who won, were generally the people who knew what they were doing, or seemed to. This along with my own fighting experience, further proves that technique overcomes blind brute force.

[Samurai Jack]

TTT

I'm going to sticky this thread as our Self-defense Video thread as soon as I figure out how! :p

[Samurai Jack]

Done. :cool:

[pest]

The video has been down for a while now dose anyone know when its coming back?

[monkeyfoot]

Scott - that was a really good post.
Most fights are always about ego. I got started on the other day at a bus stop whilst waiting for a bus to go see my girlfriend. I didnt back down tottally but I also didnt give the impression that I was going to fight.

I think that a lot of the time if you act to passive people think they can walk over you even more. The reasoning behind this is because by backing down and being more passive it makes them feel stronger and more dominating, which in turn means their ego kicks in more and they feel they control you.

I think every situation is different and you just have to do what you feel is right at the time in the best possible way....forget you ego....only remember getting home to your loved ones.

craig

ps: once the two of them went off a chinese saying came into my head, 'the sparrow never lands where the tiger sleeps'. So I took it into account and walked up into the shopping center where I could be in a safe environment but still wait for the bus. That move could have saved my life as they came back 10 minutes later looking for me.

[Kapten Klutz]

If you project an attitude of power or confidence an adversary may be intimidated into backing down, but it may also escalate the situation. It is more effective to display an attitude of non-concern, or disaffectedness. This is an attitude of centeredness and it is unsettling to an adversary because it displays true confidence while does not seek to challenge his ego. You are not afraid and not concerned and this is unsettling to and insecure person, because it does not fit into his experience or world view.

This is why it is said we should return anger with kindness; not the appeasement which reflects our insecurity and fear, but gentle confidence without an attempt to dominate.

...

I hope this is helpful for you,

Yes very useful, thanks for a great post even if its a year ago you wrote it. I remember when I visited the USA I received som advice on how to walk through a kind of ghetto where I was staying without getting into problems with the tough youngsters there. The advice was to just look bored and go about your business. Not to interested in the surroundings, not to scared of the surroundings. The advice to keep your head high is probably good to give to someone who always looks scared. I knew a guy who got hassled a lot because he needed to hold his head higher. I think he got an adrenalin dump every time just from getting off the bus and walking one block to the apartment building.