Anger!

[l@zylee]

Today at work my boss, in a bit of a fit of rage (and very unprofessionally)rudely insulted me in front of an office of around 10 other people many of them friends, I reacted with a calm "theres no need for that" to which he replyed "don't ****ing start with me today" so getting slightly annoyed I promplty asked him if he would like to "step outside", now he didn't react to this, probably realising he'd gone too far or because he'd filled his pants who knows? so I stood there for a few seconds with a" c'mon then" look about me and then went back to my desk to contemplate.

I realise this was a very close call, despite the fact he was out of order I can't help feeling that I shouldn't have resorted to fighting talk, but I lack witty put downs, so to me in that situation its the natural reaction for the sake of my pride! But I now feel quite dissapointed in myself.
And by the way I actually get on with thiis man usually.

Just wondering how some of you would have reacted, considering its your livelyhood on the line and your pride of course.

Cheers

Lee

[TonyM.]

I think if people dish it, they better be able to take it. I would have done almost the same thing. Maybe I would have added, "We'll talk later.".

[mortal]

I respect your feelings. I did the same thing to a jerk off boss and got fired about a month later. I went a little further. I threatened his life. lolo I see how stupid it is now.

[SevenStar]

it depends on the nature of it all. We talk like this at my job all the time. Even guys who admittedly say I will kick their arse if I had to. Why? because we don't mean anything by it. It's just a bunch of guys BSing. Now, if the tone of voice he said implied that he was serious, then that's different.

[l@zylee]

lol @ Mortal, hope I don't need to go that far!

Sevenstar, yes there is banter all the time in my office too but it wasn't like that it was a completley out of order.

:mad:

[norther practitioner]

asked him if he would like to "step outside",

Be careful with this, I don't know about that side of the pond, but over here you can be fired pretty quickly for workplace violence.


but I lack witty put downs,

Move to New York for a year or two... :D


I have been in one situation, I said I wouldn't tolerate it, and left.

[joedoe]

Threatening violence in the office is never a good thing to do, especially to your boss.

[red5angel]

obviously you live in a socialist country. In the US atleast you'd have probably been fired for inviting your boss out to fight, whether he was out of line or not.

[Royal Dragon]

If it was me, given my reacent track record, I probably would have done, or said something really stupid,and gotten in a world of trouble.

[red5angel]

you mean like dumping all your bizarre girl troubles on them? :p

[SimonM]

I've told my boss that I could beat him in a fight before but it's always all in fun. He and I get along well and we have sparred lightly before (he is in an MMA gym) and he knows that I could beat him in a fight. I have longer arms and am slightly faster than him. :D

[joedoe]

Originally posted by red5angel
you mean like dumping all your bizarre girl troubles on them? :p

LOL!!!!

[Mr Punch]

If you're lucky he'll pass it up.

If he's a git, he'll sack you.

If it's the latter you should still try to repair things a little diplomatically to get your references.

A good way to repair things anyway, if you have that kind of relationship, is to ask him semi-privately whether he's OK. If he's normally OK and he just went off on one chances are he's having some **** from some superiors or in his private life.

Certainly the 'Let's talk later is better...' than 'Do you wanna go outside?' and even than the more threatening 'We'll talk later'... and if in answer to this he starts going on at you because you're basically telling him to **** off and come back later, you can say that it's because you've got something to do right now, thus making him look even more unprofessional, but not calling him out.

[MoreMisfortune]

dont listen to the crappy versions that came later, Marvin's is the good stuff


Mother, mother
There's too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There's far too many of you dying
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today - Ya

Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what's going on
What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Ah, what's going on

In the mean time
Right on, baby
Right on
Right on

Father, father, everybody thinks we're wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we've got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today
Oh

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me
So you can see
What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Tell me what's going on
I'll tell you what's going on - Uh
Right on baby
Right on baby

[Samurai Jack]

This must be a British thing. Some guy in Scotland asked me to "step outside" once because I told him I preffered microsoft products to Apple. Of all the stupid things to fight over.

I palmed him in the nose, he started to cry, and all my friends got ****ed because supposedly asking somebody to step outside dosen't actually mean they want to fight. I took him seriously AND took the iniative.

Is this really something they do in the U.K.? If I challenged some guy to fight in East L.A., I'd expect to be shot. I have a feeling that guy would've known better in my hometown as well.

[Becca]

Stop, look'em dead in the eye untill they start to get uncomfortable, then ask them if they are quite finnished acting like a two-year-old throwing a fit. Works very well, but you gotta be completely dead-pan, no emotion showing at all.

[Samurai Jack]

Before you palm his nose, or after?

[Mr Punch]

Originally posted by Samurai Jack
This must be a British thing. Some guy in Scotland asked me to "step outside" once because I told him I preffered microsoft products to Apple. Of all the stupid things to fight over.

I palmed him in the nose...That must be an American thing. If a guy offers you to step outside because you prefer Microsoft over Apple I would have thought it was obvious he was joking!

I know my way of speaking is a lot rougher than most of my American friends, and sometimes this has lead me into trouble! :D Still does on this board too! :o shrug :o Of course, in the UK you don't get shot for causing trouble, but fistfights are probably more common (I'm not basing this on stats, but I think the stats bear me out).

Also, I would guess people backing down and swallowing hteir pride is more common because we often verbally threaten but don't back it up. Maybe this is why UK negotiators in the Middle East have always enjoyed more success than US ones: we use the same kind of empty brinksmanship. Except of course the real subtlety is knowing that it's not always empty! :eek:

See in the UK Becca, your tactic would probably also work, but you'd have to grin like a moron whilst doing it, or if you have my kind of face you may get away with a cheeky chappie kind of wicked sparkle in your eye :D.

[l@zylee]

Samurai jack, "Do you want to step outside" is definetley an invitation to fight in the UK and luckily although the gun culture is getting worse here we still don't have to worry about that kind of thing happening if we threaten some one with a slap! apart from in Liverpool :D, When I look at some of the replies on here telling me it was a bad idea and that it could cost me my job it leaves me asking wtf are you supposed to do? The guy was out of order, well out of order, I know a couple of lads that wouldn't have said anything, they'd punch him simple as that.

Anyway back to work for me now, I'll post an update on the situation later, I may be back shortly:)

[Mr Punch]

Originally posted by l@zylee
Samurai jack, "Do you want to step outside" is definetley an invitation to fight in the UK... I don't think it is at all! Where I come from (the rough end of Birmingham) it's pretty common, but more of a ****ing contest: more like when dogs know that if they fight it'll end in one of them seriously injured, so they snarl and sniff each others' arses... cept for the arses bit of course! :eek: :D

[Becca]

Originally posted by Mat
See in the UK Becca, your tactic would probably also work, but you'd have to grin like a moron whilst doing it, or if you have my kind of face you may get away with a cheeky chappie kind of wicked sparkle in your eye :D.
That works, too, but I have been told I have somewhat of a happy-go-lucky grin, so nobody takes me serious when I do that. But smirking then completely ignoring them will get you into all kind of hot water. That one is best used when you have a good neutral witness to back you up that you didn't swing first.:D

[Nick Forrer]

Originally posted by l@zylee
Samurai jack, "Do you want to step outside" is definetley an invitation to fight in the UK


I certainly wouldnt say it unless I meant it. 'Have you got a problem' is another. I usually respond to that with 'No. Have you?'.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

its weird how things work out. about 4 years ago i was in a situation where someone who was supposed to be helping with work that was impossible for one person to keep up on wasnt and eventually became my boss instead. i had no desire for the postion or anything, but i was pretty jacked none the less. it just seemed really unfair.

a bunch of other stuff happened and i never threatened him or anything, but i said some **** im suprised i said looking back.

the odd thing is that this kid is still my boss and he has done more to help me keep my job during the cancer **** than anyone. when i look back on some of the **** we said to eachother im a little shocked. i mean we eventually started getting along, but nothing more than a little bsing here and there to pass the time in the break room. not even much of that really.

we still dont talk a whole lot, but i'd back the ****er up if he were getting punched on.

[scotty1]

Well, I don't think humiliating rudeness is acceptable in an office, especially from a supposed 'superior' but neither is inviting them outside an acceptable solution.

lol, I can picture the faces on your work-mates now.

I would maybe approach him with an apology for the aggressive action on your part but make it clear that any further behaviour like that from him would be taken further ie. to his manager or whatever. If he responds with further rudeness then take it to his higher-ups.

The apology will probably stick in your throat but as you say, it's your livelihood we're talking about.

[Mr Punch]

Originally posted by Nick Forrer
I certainly wouldnt say it unless I meant it. 'Have you got a problem' is another. I usually respond to that with 'No. Have you?'. Yeah, but come on, there's a lot down to delivery too, no?! I mean for a start, nobody steps outside, so the question if taken seriously is a prelude to start swinging!

[scotty1]

I would have a hard time taking someone someone seriously if they asked if I wanted to step outside. It's a bit outdated I think.

I think if I was flustered and trying to think of something to say the best I could manage is probably "f*ck off"

[MasterKiller]

When I was managing a retail store I told a customer one time that if I ever saw him outside the store I was going to beat him senseless.

He had 3 young boys, all under the age of 6, and I heard him say several times that they were all stupid, that their mother, who was with them, was worthless, and that he deserved better. This is a guy who delivered pizzas for a living, mind you. I can't take it when anyone insults a kid and means it, and you should never insult a kid's mom in front of the kid.

I figured I would get fired, but he never complained. He still came in the store to make copies of his D&D manuals (he was about 30), but he never looked me in the eye after that. F@cking weasel.

But yeah, you'd be fired at my job. Workplace violence is almost as bad as sexual harrassment around here. Almost.

[Royal Dragon]

LOL!! My last shop job I got into it with the owner. It got physical and everything (He tried to strangle me, didn't get far).

To this day, I can stop by and we are like best buddies. Before that incedent we hated eachother. Somtimes major blowouts have a strange effect.

[l@zylee]

Well, he hasn't uttered a word to me today, complete silent treatment, I think my comments have done the job, he ain't going to do it again. But if he does I'll hopefully go with the "we'll talk later" I like that one. :D

Thanks for the replies

Cheers

Lee

[scotty1]

Oh yeah, Samurai Jack you are a nutcase!:D

Well, if he was taking the p!ss you're a nutcase, if he was serious, good job!

[Nick Forrer]

Originally posted by scotty1
I would have a hard time taking someone someone seriously if they asked if I wanted to step outside. It's a bit outdated I think.

I think if I was flustered and trying to think of something to say the best I could manage is probably "f*ck off"

Well its either that or 'its on like donkey kong beyootch'.

Actually I heard a Chav variation recently: 'Do you want to go outside and play some games'.:D

[scotty1]

Typical Chav (unts.

You live in Kent don't you? lol

Only joking :)

They are b*stards though aren't they? God. :mad: