Want to make fun of a ninja McDojo? [Archive]

Ming Yue

01-11-2005, 08:19 AM

I put the smaller AMA sticker on the canoe. So now we also have the AMA Mad River Fantasy pink canoe; plus my car, Brendan's car and John's car.

the AMA Fleet.

red5angel

01-11-2005, 09:06 AM

what makes me laugh the most, is I've seen pictures of some of you guys, and I've seen some of your web sites....they're not all that different.

ZIM

01-11-2005, 09:41 AM

What gets me is that they're prob'ly half-way successful with this.

Much better than I was doing with my vagina jam idea, I'm sure.

Anybody want to buy some Vagi-mite? :D

They're actually not all that far from me. LOL

red5angel

01-11-2005, 09:56 AM

ZIM, why don't you swing past and see what they're all about? You'd be the only one with any credible remarks at that point.

PangQuan

01-11-2005, 09:59 AM

LMFAO ! they seriously look all cracked out, just look at the beedy little eyes. He might be a ninja when it comes to making food dissapear but thats about it.

what makes me laugh the most, is I've seen pictures of some of you guys, and I've seen some of your web sites....they're not all that different.

now thats funny.

MasterKiller

01-11-2005, 10:04 AM

I really like this picture. I may frame it.

http://www.goldendragondojo.homestead.com/files/Soke_In_Shaolin.jpg

ZIM

01-11-2005, 10:15 AM

Originally posted by red5angel
ZIM, why don't you swing past and see what they're all about? You'd be the only one with any credible remarks at that point. I don't know. They're something 2-3 hours away, maybe, depending on the route I take [not really familiar with Perry].

I'm thinking what they are is a couple of bikers or something that decided to make some bucks. Maybe they'd be really good for improvised weapons, who knows? Nothing wrong wih that, honestly, and I've seen worse.

Like, there's one guy here that has an American Jujitsu kind of place. He goes by the name "Dr. Kamae" and he looks like he just go out of some sodomizing prison- and that he was on the pitching end, if you see what I mean. Real screwed up and unbalanced looking.

His 'art' seems geared for that, too. Lots of submissions. :eek:

ZIM

01-11-2005, 10:21 AM

BTW, thats why I don't mind these bogus schools all that much, if they spar. I don't mind if I run across some derivative of prison-fighting masquerading as a japanese art. I know what it is really, and if I ever want to test myself in a situation I never want to be in in real life, I know where to go.

That said, have I? No. I've met some of his sudents is all.

Similarly, there's this biker school.... :)

red5angel

01-11-2005, 11:52 AM

lol, I was just trying to point out the slight irony that half the guys commenting about this school and how the people in it look, look the same.
It happens all the time here. Someone posts a link to make fun of a school, then a couple of people reply, and I almost inevitably think wow, this could be thhalf the people responding!

It's like one overweight kungfu guy standing in a set of silk pajamas in a dramatic pose, making fun of the other overweight kungfu guy, standing around in different color silk pajamas in a different dramatic pose.

ZIM

01-11-2005, 12:15 PM

Shoot , if you go by looks, many of the old masters were a crock.
Heck, look at Uyeshiba. He looked like I, little stickboy that I am, could've knocked him over and took his sushi money, no problem. Yip Man? Kee-rist. I'd have knocked his opium pipe outta his mouth and stomped him.

Of course, I'd have no eyes after that.... :D

red5angel

01-11-2005, 12:20 PM

good points ZIM, and that's basically what I'm saying. Because someone doesn't fit into your definition of what is cool doesn't mean they don't know what they are doing.
I've met two guys in my life that have convinced me of that. One was an active Navy Seal, the other was ex delta force. Both of them were shorter then I, and "lighter" to boot. One of them looked like the next door neighbor, the other guy looked like someone I could be working with in the corporate world.

Reggie1

01-11-2005, 12:22 PM

Both of them were shorter then I, and "lighter" to boot.

Geez, what were they, like 4'10"?

:D

Thought I'd get in before anybody else did.

ZIM

01-11-2005, 12:25 PM

Gnome Fu!!! :D

Hey, GTG do something less important for awhile...

/been real

/music swells...fade to black

Ming Yue

01-11-2005, 12:29 PM

My Sifu's first teacher is like that. Met him last year after hearing a lot about his abilities. He seems physically like a very average guy -- until you see him move.

so yea, ok, don't judge a book by the cover. Still, my dramatic pose is WAY cooler than his.

IronFist

01-11-2005, 12:53 PM

Ok, first of all, less being serious.

Second of all, more making fun.

What is there not to make fun of of overweight white guys standing around in Shaolin Monk robes?

Fu-Pow

01-11-2005, 01:02 PM

why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!??????? (http://www.goldendragondojo.homestead.com/files/SANTA3_1.jpg).

norther practitioner

01-11-2005, 01:04 PM

It would be funny, if somehow, they realized you were poking fun at them, and they flipped out, and chopped your head off...

ya know they are ninjas right!

mortal

01-11-2005, 01:04 PM

Didn't he win the Nathans Hotdog eating contest in 1993?

Ming Yue

01-11-2005, 01:09 PM

what does the tat on his right hand say?

MasterKiller

01-11-2005, 01:10 PM

His love of the invincible Toad Style lead Soke to train in Iron Shirt Qi-Gung. A mystical style that leaves the body almost like iron. Able to recieve the hardest blows with little or no effect. Yeah, I saw that movie, too. Five Venoms rocks.
:rolleyes:

Oso

01-11-2005, 02:27 PM

Originally posted by Ming Yue
what does the tat on his right hand say?

you da one w/ the super dooper graphics skills...magnify it up.

Oso

01-11-2005, 02:44 PM

http://www.mymaster.homestead.com/sifu.html

red5angel

01-11-2005, 02:50 PM

Originally posted by Oso
http://www.mymaster.homestead.com/sifu.html

the bowyer I apprenticed to could catch arrows too. It was pretty cool. Over a certain poundage he couldn't, he tried a couple of times but was way off so decided it would be prudent to stick to the poundages he knew he could catch. The highest I think was 65 lbs at about 40 ft.

joedoe

01-11-2005, 02:52 PM

Originally posted by Oso
http://www.mymaster.homestead.com/sifu.html

Poor guy mustn't make much out of teaching - he can't afford a shirt :(

red5angel

01-11-2005, 02:55 PM

he and emin boztepe both seem to have that issue!

norther practitioner

01-11-2005, 03:02 PM

http://www.mymaster.homestead.com/Takesgeneseo.html

PangQuan

01-11-2005, 04:32 PM

I like how "the last kung fu master alive" only trains 1-2 hours a day for only 6 days a week. I train more then that.

joedoe

01-11-2005, 05:41 PM

I was astounded by the first sentence. Very presumptuous.

IronFist

01-11-2005, 05:43 PM

Originally posted by joedoe
Poor guy mustn't make much out of teaching - he can't afford a shirt :(

WTF????

This (http://www.mymaster.homestead.com/Affidavit.html)

What's up with all the things in "quotes?" I smell some BS.

IronFist

01-11-2005, 05:44 PM

Haha, dumb asses used "affect" when they meant "effect" in the TITLE OF THEIR MAGAZINE (http://www.mymaster.homestead.com/files/Sifu_Cover.jpg). Can anyone confirm if this is even a real magazine?

edit - I just confirmed it is a real magazine (or someone went to the trouble of setting up numerous sites to make it look real), but wtf? The phrase is "Lake Effect," not "Lake Affect."

ZIM

01-11-2005, 07:58 PM

Originally posted by IronFist
Haha, dumb asses used "affect" when they meant "effect" in the TITLE OF THEIR MAGAZINE (http://www.mymaster.homestead.com/files/Sifu_Cover.jpg). Can anyone confirm if this is even a real magazine?

edit - I just confirmed it is a real magazine (or someone went to the trouble of setting up numerous sites to make it look real), but wtf? The phrase is "Lake Effect," not "Lake Affect." nope. affect. its a local lit mag. not very good and desperate for stories. :p

ZIM

01-11-2005, 08:02 PM

Originally posted by IronFist
WTF????

This (http://www.mymaster.homestead.com/Affidavit.html)

What's up with all the things in "quotes?" I smell some BS. heheheheh.

Thats so f'ing stoopit. Anybody can get anything notarized and if it wasn't submitted to a court of law, there's no threat of perjury. :D :p

David Jamieson

01-11-2005, 08:06 PM

that guy looks strangly "trannyish" in the saffrons and what appears to be makeup foundation.

I also like the cheap and crappy sword! nice dragon wing on it!

Is this tyhe Cartman Ninja school? Where the mantra is "respect my authoritie!

Ming Yue

01-12-2005, 09:41 AM

Originally posted by Oso
you da one w/ the super dooper graphics skills...magnify it up.

as far as I can tell, it says "TUNA"

Oso

01-12-2005, 10:42 AM

makes sense....

{desperately tried to think of a witty acronym but failed}

ZIM

01-12-2005, 10:49 AM

Originally posted by Oso
makes sense....

{desperately tried to think of a witty acronym but failed} "You can tuna piano, but you can't tuna fist"

Oso

01-12-2005, 11:53 AM

LOL, funny but that would be an aphorism.

Tubby
U
Ninja
A

but i can't get anything for 'U' and 'A'

Ming Yue

01-12-2005, 12:22 PM

perhaps it's more of an excuse than a warning:

Tight Underpants Negate Agility.

Ming Yue

01-12-2005, 12:23 PM

Originally posted by ZIM
"You can tuna piano, but you can't tuna fist"

clever!
:D

SimonM

01-12-2005, 12:28 PM

Originally posted by l@zylee
lmao, that's one of the worst I've seen!

The guy needs to lay off the hamburgers and pizza's though eh?

Yeah, he's even fatter than I am! ;)

Oso

01-12-2005, 12:35 PM

ha...

"They call me Bruce"

PangQuan

01-12-2005, 12:47 PM

Tuby
Underground
Ninja
Agent

or

Tubby
Underdeveloped
Ninja
Aggressor

or you can mix it up.

SimonM

01-12-2005, 12:57 PM

Originally posted by red5angel
good points ZIM, and that's basically what I'm saying. Because someone doesn't fit into your definition of what is cool doesn't mean they don't know what they are doing.

Yeah but did you see that front kick pose? That was more than just uncool; that was sloppy. I am no black belt, never professed to be and I can kick better than that. And did you see the hokey certification papers? How about the "red sash in kung fu" one.

Bah!

mortal

01-12-2005, 01:01 PM

T ubby
U nathletic
N inja
A assh@le

PangQuan

01-12-2005, 01:08 PM

Totally
Unorthodox
Ninja
Assistant

HearWa

01-12-2005, 02:12 PM

The... Tubby Ubiquitous Ninja Athletes!

Oso

01-12-2005, 06:59 PM

you know...this guy probably lurks here....

joedoe

01-12-2005, 07:44 PM

If he were as good as Ashida Kim he wouldn't be lurking here, he would just send an astral spy :D

IronFist

01-12-2005, 10:26 PM

Originally posted by Ming Yue
perhaps it's more of an excuse than a warning:

Tight Underpants Negate Agility.

lol!

PHILBERT

01-13-2005, 04:10 PM

Holy crap. After viewing that website, I never want to visit the DEEP South. Christ almighty.

David Jamieson

01-13-2005, 04:18 PM

Holy Crap! I decided not to go to the deep south after viewing the film Easyrider with Hopper and Fonda.

being an avid biker, I am staying out of those greasy overall, 1 tooth states. :p

red5angel

01-13-2005, 04:20 PM

Holy Crap! I decided not to go to the deep south after viewing the film Easyrider with Hopper and Fonda.

LOL!@ the "deep south" You mean Iowa Kung Lek?! :D

PHILBERT

01-13-2005, 04:22 PM

Woah, I only looked at the photos on that website and was getting flashbacks to the Dukes of Hazzard. I didn't realize that they were in New York. Crap.

David Jamieson

01-13-2005, 04:34 PM

I was thinking more along the lines of Alabama, Mississippi, Lousiana... you know, the DEEEEEEEP south.

Right next to Texas and below Georgia, which is cool. I like Atlanta.

Mighty Mungbean

01-13-2005, 05:33 PM

Sheeeeeeeeeeeit! You Yankee boys don' know diddly bout fightin' iffin' you ain't been South. Hell, we got toddler 'rasslin' and mah daddy's got a school he holds in the back yard where he teaches the mysterious art of Whup Yu. Says he learned it from some Chinaman when he was in Vietnam. I'm workin' on mah yaller belt right now.

ZIM

01-13-2005, 05:42 PM

Have you learned the rare & mystical 4-way tire iron form yet? :D

Oso

01-13-2005, 08:10 PM

Originally posted by Mighty Mungbean
Sheeeeeeeeeeeit! You Yankee boys don' know diddly bout fightin' iffin' you ain't been South. Hell, we got toddler 'rasslin' and mah daddy's got a school he holds in the back yard where he teaches the mysterious art of Whup Yu. Says he learned it from some Chinaman when he was in Vietnam. I'm workin' on mah yaller belt right now.

sheeeitttt, funniest post this year !!!

nope, them yankee boys just think they know how to fight.

David Jamieson

01-13-2005, 09:00 PM

oso, you're in "north" Carolina, remember. So as a "southerner" your practically a yankee yourself. :p lol...well ok, you were mostly confederates at the time in the 1860's..but there were a couple of union troops.

Vash

01-13-2005, 09:37 PM

You don't get much more southern than Arkansas.

Straight up Deliverance-style, bich.

norther practitioner

01-14-2005, 08:54 AM

Oso

01-14-2005, 10:42 AM

Originally posted by Kung Lek
oso, you're in "north" Carolina, remember. So as a "southerner" your practically a yankee yourself. :p lol...well ok, you were mostly confederates at the time in the 1860's..but there were a couple of union troops.

actaully, in the NC mountains, there were many groups that didn't really give a shiat about the whole issue...they shot you if you came in their valley no matter what color uniform you had on.

red5angel

01-14-2005, 02:59 PM

actaully, in the NC mountains, there were many groups that didn't really give a shiat about the whole issue...they shot you if you came in their valley no matter what color uniform you had on.

yeah, they were cherokee and it didn't matter the color of the uniform, just your skin!

PangQuan

01-14-2005, 03:03 PM

That mentality is why they are the largest nation to survive.

David Jamieson

01-14-2005, 03:20 PM

I'm pretty sure that the Navajo are the largest band in North America with the most independent governing powers. A nation within a nation so to speak.

Up North it's the Ojibwa.

red5angel

01-14-2005, 03:39 PM

by up north you mean canada? In America in the midwest its the Sioux.

I don't know if the Navajo or the Cherokee are bigger. I do know what saved the cherokee most of all was their ability to adapt to the changing times.
Those guys in the hills were holdouts, people who dissapeared when the roundup came and they were moved as a nation.

PangQuan

01-14-2005, 03:40 PM

By largest surviving nation im refering to the amount of individuals who claim cherokee heritage. There are tons of Cherokee spread around. Its kind of a joke among other tribes, about how many "white" people have cherokee in their veins.

red5angel

01-14-2005, 03:47 PM

They mixed alot with the the white people, tried to adopt a lot of white ways.

Native culture in general when it comes to unity is a joke. You might get a few small tribes that co-operate but mostly their out for themselves, thats' why their dying out. They never bother to look to the future, try to hard to hold on to the past, and are vengeful and spiteful. This of course is a generalization but a sad and accurate one.

norther practitioner

01-14-2005, 03:55 PM

Places in New Mexico that I have been it is intersting... You have the Pueblo.. then you have native New Mexicans.. which are more Mexican, and some native american, in varying degrees, it gets really interesting. I met this one guy whos grandpa was an Apache, Grandma on that same side was white, then on the other side he was Pueblo and Native New Mexican. He asked me what I thought he was..

Um... American.... I guess...lol