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Gluteus Maximus
10-09-2001, 06:06 PM
Even though I'm a died-in-the-wool Wing Chunner who once swore I would never cross-train, I have since been seduced by what is without a doubt the world's "most bestest" (in the words of his top student) martial art: ZEN CHI FA! Once I find out where Master Deltoo's school is located, I have vowed upon the grave of my ancestors to travel to the ends of the earth to learn this amazing art. I therefore hereby apologise in advance to my Wing Chun brethren for betraying Wing Chun, but how can one argue with the following (not to mention the impeccability of His Superbness Master Deltoo's lineage):

"THE BEST FORM OF DEFENSE IS ATTACK"

The best form of defense is attack and the most vital element of attack
is surprise. Therefore the best way to protect yourself against any
assailant is to attack him before he attacks you or better before the
thought of doing so has even occurred to him. The ultimate is to
render your assailant unconscious before he is even aware of your
very existence.

"Chi Power"

With Zen Chi Fa you will learn how to develop Chi Power. Once
you master the use of Chi you will be able to perform the following
amazing feats of Chi Power :

Moving Objects without touching them
Extinguish a Candle with your eyes only
Ring chimes with a Yang Chi throw
Repel animals with your eyes only
Dis-arm knived attackers with Chi Power
Jam Guns with the power of Chi

You will be able to use Chi to create a protective ion
shield around your body.

http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Stadium/2477/index2.htm

Max

Yooby Yoody
Gluteus Maximus
10-09-2001, 06:22 PM
(Sorry - I double-posted by mistake and wiped out the second one to which I realised you had replied after I'd deleted it- as copied below):

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Your ideas intrigue me

tell me, are there any physical weapons associated with this Zen Chi Fa?
posted 10-10-01 09:09
[/quote]

There are many physical weapons, but not only that, MENTAL and SPIRITUAL ones as well. Of the physical weapons, my favourite is the Secret Zen Chi Fa One Kill Strike, which I look forward to spending many years perfecting (it is kindly illustrated on the website by His Fantasticness Master Deltoo).

Perhaps the following information (kindly provided by His Wholly Amazingness Master Deltoo) will answer your question, Meng Shuo:

"Our program covers :

Grappling
Advanced Kicking
Advanced Rolling and Gymnastics
Advanced Punching
Scientific approaches to Angling and Counter Striking
Training in all Martial Arts Weapons
One Kill Strikes
Advanced Meditation
Complete Spiritual Paths to Enlightenment "

Max

Yooby Yoody
Jeff Brown
10-09-2001, 06:26 PM
Great! the last Path to Spiritual Enlightenment I purchased was incomplete.

Perhaps Master Yoda could assist me with finishing off my light-nunchuckus (which keep burning my hands).
Watchman
10-09-2001, 08:38 PM
I thought you and WH were disciples of Darth Sirius? :confused:
straight blast
10-10-2001, 02:58 AM
It's good to see that people still have a sense of humour! Did anyone see his lineage? Whoever actually put that site up is having a good tongue-in-cheek dig at the Martial Arts world. Man I haven't laughed so hard since I read the forum on training accidents. :D :D :D
I must admit, until I took a closer look I thought it was legit. Silly me. :rolleyes:
Here's to "master" Deltoo!!!

"Through strength, learn gentleness. Through gentleness, strength will prevail"
EmptyCup
10-10-2001, 03:12 AM
I too can extinguish candles...

...with my butt :D
Gluteus Maximus
10-10-2001, 06:22 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I too can extinguish candles...
...with my butt

[/quote]

Haha! Good one EC! Sounds like an efficient way to rid oneself of excess butt hair at the same time, which would be quite handy! (Actually I tried it once but the candle only flared up and exploded, proving that I hadn't yet perfected my "Rear Yang Chi Throw").

Max

Yooby Yoody
EmptyCup
10-10-2001, 06:42 AM
yeah, if you're not careful, your butt hairs can catch on fire!!! (all you Euorpean males out there proceed with caution)

Dave, is this a ridiculous waste of bandwidth? :D
Sihing73
10-10-2001, 12:07 PM
Hello,

EC,

Yes this is a waste of bandwidth however, I am waiting for the pearls which I am sure are to follow. :rolleyes:

Peace,

Dave
IronFist
10-10-2001, 08:15 PM
Getting a Black Belt
Normally it takes 2 years of training before a black belt can be sat,
however the grading involves :


Walking on Fire
Demonstrating the "Zen Chi Fa One Kill Punch"
against live animals
The ability to project Chi on a inanimate object
The answering to the solution of a Koan chosen by Master Deltoo
Avoiding live arrows
Jump kicks over moving vehicles



Where do I sign up?

Iron