Does your enthusiasm for MA affect your relationships?

[stubbs]

When things go wrong in life, my training has always been able to put me back on track. Sometimes I feel as though its the only thing I can rely on. I've developed a passion for martial arts over the years and eventually I'd like to teach.

My problem is I think I might be a bit obsessed with MA. I've started seeing this girl but she doesn't think I'll have enough time for her because of my training. We're going to give it a go and see how we get on. The truth is I'm thinking of putting more hours into my training!!

I'm 20 now and never been able to get into a relationship that lasts any longer than a few months. I'm not that bothered as I have plenty of time before I'm ready to get settled, but I'm wondering if I should keep my focus on my training like I am or start to make compromises? To be honest I don't really want a relationship now but I'm wondering if being a bit of a recluse will affect me when I'm older.

Anyone else find your training affects your relationships?
________
Suzuki gs500 (http://www.suzuki-tech.com/wiki/Suzuki_GS500)

[SevenStar]

screw her. (literally, if possible, if not, then oh well :p)

She has to realize that you have something that you enjoy doing. You may even consider asking her to train in something. But, if she tries to force you to compromise your happiness for her, I'd let her go.

[JustinGrant]

When things go wrong in life, my training has always been able to put me back on track. Sometimes I feel as though its the only thing I can rely on. I've developed a passion for martial arts over the years and eventually I'd like to teach.

My problem is I think I might be a bit obsessed with MA. I've started seeing this girl but she doesn't think I'll have enough time for her because of my training. We're going to give it a go and see how we get on. The truth is I'm thinking of putting more hours into my training!!

I'm 20 now and never been able to get into a relationship that lasts any longer than a few months. I'm not that bothered as I have plenty of time before I'm ready to get settled, but I'm wondering if I should keep my focus on my training like I am or start to make compromises? To be honest I don't really want a relationship now but I'm wondering if being a bit of a recluse will affect me when I'm older.

Anyone else find your training affects your relationships?

Yes, it will definitely affect your relationship. Believe me. The key is not to decrease your training but to truly prioritize the rest of your life. My 2 1/2 year relationship with the girl I love just ended last week because of my stupid, messed-up priorities. MA training is a positive aspect of your life. You need to figure out some not-quite-as-positive aspects of your life and put them on the back burner if you want to make it work. Depends on how high this girl fits into your priority heirarchy. Good luck!

[Waidan]

Just keep in mind, if a girl requires you to discontinue or severely cut back on your training, the relationship is probably doomed anyway.

Find yourself a kung fu chick and make it so. ;)

[Fu-Pow]

Advice from a guy a few years older than you:

Girls generally like it when you have passions in your life that take you away from them, as much as they complain. The reason is that they hope that one day you will have the same passion for them that you do for your other activities.

A guy with no passion.... with no dreams....with no higher aspirations....... is as boring to a woman as a fugly chick is to a man.

Go after your dreams and let the women get all lathered up trying to seduce you away from them. Just don't let them actually seduce you away from them!!! Ultimately....... you are the one that has to live your life and you are the one that has to make it what you want it to be.

Peace. :D

Oh yeah, and always wear a condom. :D

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

i think fu pow might be on to something

my girlfriend used to ***** about the amount of time i spent in the basement (it was about 3 hours a night and all day sunday), but she'd only really ***** when we were fighting about something else. she'd try to win the argument by giving me guilt trips about spending all my time training.

now looking back, it was a bit much and im not going to do that this time around. then again if we were goin along then like we are now i wonder if it would have even mattered. some might think that our relationship might be better now because i havent been able to train, but the fact is i had some growing up to do and so did she. she had to finally learn to pick up a ****ing mop once in a while (i am a neat freak but it was ****ing ridiculous) and i had to learn to stop punching holes in walls. once we both learned these skills things got about 100 times better.

its all about balance like anything else. since i got a kid and all that i cant train the way i used to unless i wake up early and get most of it out of the way then .... you can make time to do it if its important to you, but you shouldnt be doing it all the time of day you have to spend with your family like i pretty much did. if you dont have a kid and all that she can learn to work around your schedule a little too if you show some willingness to work around hers.

*i think i should edit this for more sense later .... post made quickly before i hava make dinner.

[joedoe]

I had the same dilemma. What it comes down to is that if you are serious about her, then you will have to make some compromises. If she tries to stop you from training from the get-go, then she is being unreasonable. If after some time when you get more serious and she asks for more of your time, then you have to decide if she is important enough to you for you to compromise your training schedule.

Ultimately it becomes a question of balance. To many of us, martial arts are an important part of our lives, however this needs to be balanced against all other aspects of your life. Relationships are important too.

What it boiled down to for me was whether I wanted to be a great martial artist but have lousy relationships, or whether I wanted to have a more balanced life. I chose the latter, and I think most teachers would probably advise you to seek balance too.

[Starchaser107]

It depends. It really affected one past relationship. To the point it was tearing us apart. It was ayt a critical time too when I was testing for my black sash :rolleyes:
Anyway's the relationship did not last, and I made sure never to let myself get into a situation like that again. :cool:
I used to hear things like "women and kung fu don't mix" but it's not really 100% true. It depends on the person and your partner has to understand your passion. If they can't relate or if they can't respect you, then things are doomed.

[Becca]

It depends. It really affected one past relationship. To the point it was tearing us apart. It was ayt a critical time too when I was testing for my black sash :rolleyes:
Anyway's the relationship did not last, and I made sure never to let myself get into a situation like that again. :cool:
I used to hear things like "women and kung fu don't mix" but it's not really 100% true. It depends on the person and your partner has to understand your passion. If they can't relate or if they can't respect you, then things are doomed.
Find someone who has a hobby. If he/she askes for you to cut back, expect him/her to cut back, as well. If they refuse... They probably aren't worth it.

[MasterKiller]

First off, if she's ALREADY complaining that you might not have enough time for her, kick her to the curb. You, sir, are seeing a high-maintenance woman with possible obsessive/compulsive tendencies. She'll be the type that calls your house every 15 minutes even when she's know you're not home, just to make sure you didn't lie to her about the reasons you can't be with her at that particular moment.

If you need to go the store she probably won't let you go alone because she's probably got abadonement issues as well.

I'd find out if her mom and dad are still together. If they're not, you're going to become the surrogate "Poppa that never paid attention to me."

My advice to is go find some crazy Puerto Rican girl that hits you all the time, instead. In the long run, she'd be less of a pain than this possible psycho you're about to attach yourself to...

[Starchaser107]

Find someone who has a hobby. If he/she askes for you to cut back, expect him/her to cut back, as well. If they refuse... They probably aren't worth it.

...yeah I think I got the jist of it after that first screw up

[Judge Pen]

Or find an ex-world class athlete that trained 12 hours a day in her prime who understands the commitment that it takes to train in any sport or art. And then get her to start going to class with you. It helps if she can cook.

[Ming Yue]

Or do what I did... Find someone who thinks the fact that you train Kung Fu is cool, respects you for it and likes that you put time and effort into something that's good for your body and your mind.

You need a secure, independent person. Date someone who has thier own life, then they won't have a hard time understanding that you have one too.

Stay away from this one you're talking about though, sounds like trouble from the start. Good luck with your training!

[sean_stonehart]

Or find an ex-world class athlete that trained 12 hours a day in her prime who understands the commitment that it takes to train in any sport or art. And then get her to start going to class with you. It helps if she can cook.

**** your eyes JP... we're not all that lucky... :D

Is she gonna be around in April?

[Ming Yue]

Or find an ex-world class athlete that trained 12 hours a day....


:D Nice, so you're dating Blooming Lotus now... How's that workin' out for ya? :D

[MasterKiller]

What JP isn't saying is that she's an ex-power lifter and her hoo-hoo is twice as big as his pee-pee.

[Judge Pen]

What JP isn't saying is that she's an ex-power lifter and her hoo-hoo is twice as big as his pee-pee.

She's not Blooming Lotis and she isn't an ex-power lifter with a hoo-hoo twice as big as my pee-pee. (WTF?) She was a world champion at her sport when she was a teenager.

And yes Sean, she will be around in April. In fact, her place is on the west end of Knxoville so we will probably crash there that Friday and then go to my gym and train on Saturday.

[red5angel]

With my wife I laid down the law when we were getting to know her. I let her know that she would always be my first priority, but my martial ats came a really close second and if she really loved me she would understand that. It turns out it worked out in the end since she's now doig capoeira :D

[red5angel]

She's not Blooming Lotis and she isn't an ex-power lifter with a hoo-hoo twice as big as my pee-pee. (WTF?) She was a world champion at her sport when she was a teenager.

And yes Sean, she will be around in April. In fact, her place is on the west end of Knxoville so we will probably crash there that Friday and then go to my gym and train on Saturday.


boy someone sure is touchy about his girlfreinds gigantic hoohoo :p

[MasterKiller]

No kidding. I didn't even mention her 5 o'clock shadow.

[Ming Yue]

oops... I started it. Just teasing, JP.

:)

[Judge Pen]

You guys (excluding you MY) are just jealous.

[MasterKiller]

I know I am. She benches twice my 1 ROM :mad:

[Judge Pen]

:p

Not really, but she can out-drive most of you on the golf course.

[MasterKiller]

She's a world-champion golfer? I thought you said 'sport' somewhere back there....

[wdl]

Not really, but she can out-drive most of you on the golf course.

LOL. Take her up to Baneberry one weekend when they have having one of the womens tournaments and turn her loose.

-Will

[Judge Pen]

She's a world-champion golfer? I thought you said 'sport' somewhere back there....

LOL. I did. What's your handicap MK? Have you ever played in the U.S. Open as an amateur?

[red5angel]

they consider golf a sport now?! When will darts move from a game to a sport?

[MasterKiller]

LOL. I did. What's your handicap MK? Have you ever played in the U.S. Open as an amateur?

I can't play whiffle ball, either. Does she have a gold medal in that, too?

Besides, everyone knows female golfers are lesbians. Ever watch the LPGA? I think most of them can double my 1 ROM as well.

At least female power lifters like to rub their freakishly large hoo-hoo against guys.

[Reggie1]

You need a secure, independent person. Date someone who has thier own life, then they won't have a hard time understanding that you have one too.

Not to bring this back on topic or anything, but that's great advice. I actually started my MA training after I was engaged, but my wife totally understood. She has her own life, and doesn't mind the fact that I train 15 hours a week.

But it's also all about having a clear set of priorities. She ranks ahead of my training, but she doesn't try to abuse it. I don't get the 'skip training so we can watch a movie' crap, because she knows how much I love doing it. And she gets rewarded by giving me my training time because I give her 100% of my attention when I'm not training. It all balances out.

[red5angel]

At least female power lifters like to rub their freakishly large hoo-hoo against guys.


WOAH! I guess I just assumed JP was a boy, man was I waaaay off! It's all making sense now, lust for nipples, SD practitioner, seeing a lesbian witha giant hoohoo...

[MasterKiller]

You forgot to mention JP's ewok-nipples.

[Judge Pen]

I can't play whiffle ball, either. Does she have a gold medal in that, too?

Besides, everyone knows female golfers are lesbians. Ever watch the LPGA? I think most of them can double my 1 ROM as well.

At least female power lifters like to rub their freakishly large hoo-hoo against guys.

I'm sorry, I didn't know that they had a professional whiffle ball or dart tournament with sponsers and endorsements.

And not all are lesbians (not that there's anything wrong with that. . . .)

[Judge Pen]

You forgot to mention JP's ewok-nipples.

You should talk there, Su Kong:

http://forum.kungfumagazine.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=2580

[Reggie1]

I'm sorry, I didn't know that they had a professional whiffle ball or dart tournament with sponsers and endorsements.

Bowling has sponsors and endorsements. Is bowling a sport?

[Judge Pen]

Bowling has sponsors and endorsements. Is bowling a sport?

According to ESPN, they both are sports:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/sportSkills

[Mutant]

Yes dedication to your martial arts training sure will affect your relationships.
I can definately site that as a major factor that fugged up most of my relationships in some way up until I met my wife (at a kung fu gym).
My wife is just as much of a martial arts nut as I am and we have a blast training together :p

[MasterKiller]

Golf
Water Polo
Figure Skating
Badminton
Table Tennis
Cheerleading
Curling
Billiards

Yeah....I'd say that's about right.

[SevenStar]

First off, if she's ALREADY complaining that you might not have enough time for her, kick her to the curb. You, sir, are seeing a high-maintenance woman with possible obsessive/compulsive tendencies. She'll be the type that calls your house every 15 minutes even when she's know you're not home, just to make sure you didn't lie to her about the reasons you can't be with her at that particular moment.


bingo.

..........

[Judge Pen]

Golf
Water Polo
Figure Skating
Badminton
Table Tennis
Cheerleading
Curling
Billiards

Yeah....I'd say that's about right.

I can't do a triple Lutz flying turny thingy those figure skaters do. I'd consider that a sport.

[Reggie1]

According to ESPN, so are curling and fishing. And badmintion.

If curling is a sport, then chess is a sport.

If fishing is a sport, then grilling steaks should be one also. I get about the same amount of exercise from both. And usually drink about as much, too.

So is horseshoes a sport?

[MasterKiller]

I can't ballroom dance. You wanna start handing out Olympic medals to them?

[Judge Pen]

I'm starting a new thread.

[Gangsterfist]

Just to clear it up for everyone, they have professional level:

Bowling

darts

shuffle board

go kart racing

video game championships (best quake player lives in my hometown makes over 60k/year playing video games, and has won over 100k before in a tournament, and still lives in his parents basement, hahahahaha)

bache (sp?)

card playing (gambling)

All of those have sponsors, have a following, and have world championship tournaments. I have seen this stuff on ESPN 2 before and most of it goes down in vegas, go figure.

As for your relationship, let someone who has experience but bad luck give you some advice. You are 20 yrs old, man. Go out have fun, enjoy your youth. I am 24yrs old now and have gone through several relationships. I am a victim of bad timing. Everytime I meet a girl that is worth the investment for long term relationships something always goes wrong. They get a new job and move out of state, I get a new job and our shcedules conflcit, they go back to school, whatever. All my good relationships never ended badly, they just ended due to bad timing.

So, my advice to you is, go out and get drunk and party with your friends. Because sooner or later all of you will get married and you will not be able to hang out and party every night like you did before. A few of my friends are married now and I hardly ever see them. So, my advice to you is to have fun while you are young and while you can. You got all the time in the world to date women, and eventually you might find the right one, and if the timing is right then you will be good to go. I would concentrate more on having a good time before you get old, married, and have kids. I have been single for the last 2 years (casualy dating a few ladies here and there) and it has been a pretty good last two years with no responsibilties and no one to worry about but myself.

Then again, some people just need to be in relationships.

[red5angel]

Also I forgot to mention that I'm constantly kicking, punching, sweeping and locking my wife, her freinds, her family and so on, which seems to be having a detrimental effect on our relationship. I keep trying to explain to her that it's not out of anger, but like Bruce Lee, I'm constantly training, even when I'm not!

[Judge Pen]

Also I forgot to mention that I'm constantly kicking, punching, sweeping and locking my wife, her freinds, her family and so on, which seems to be having a detrimental effect on our relationship. I keep trying to explain to her that it's not out of anger, but like Bruce Lee, I'm constantly training, even when I'm not!

Tell that to the judge.

[red5angel]

are you referring to yourself in the third person now? :D

[Judge Pen]

Lol, no I'm talking about the judge presiding over your indictment or divorce.

[stubbs]

Then again, some people just need to be in relationships.

I think thats what got me. All my mates are constantly getting in and out of relationships whereas I'm not bothered (other than when my mates are busy).

I think I'm going to leave this relationship before it gets too heavy - you guys are right, she does seem high maintenance. It wont be long until summers on its way - i always love being single in the summer!
________
MAZDA C PLATFORM PICTURE (http://www.ford-wiki.com/wiki/Mazda_C_platform)

[PangQuan]

When things go wrong in life, my training has always been able to put me back on track. Sometimes I feel as though its the only thing I can rely on. I've developed a passion for martial arts over the years and eventually I'd like to teach.

My problem is I think I might be a bit obsessed with MA. I've started seeing this girl but she doesn't think I'll have enough time for her because of my training. We're going to give it a go and see how we get on. The truth is I'm thinking of putting more hours into my training!!

I'm 20 now and never been able to get into a relationship that lasts any longer than a few months. I'm not that bothered as I have plenty of time before I'm ready to get settled, but I'm wondering if I should keep my focus on my training like I am or start to make compromises? To be honest I don't really want a relationship now but I'm wondering if being a bit of a recluse will affect me when I'm older.

Anyone else find your training affects your relationships?

It will total any chances you have of developing a "normal" relationship. I decided that I would make sure and let any woman I get involved with that they would come second to my training. Needless to say this doesnt go over to well with them. I have not been in a serious relationship for over 5 years. LOL, I just learned to deal with it, and train harder.

[joedoe]

It is a choice you have to make. I was faced with the same situation - my wife would not marry me until she was priority one. She was happy to accept how important my training is to me, but needed to know that if she really needed me then she would come first. I did not think that was unreasonable and made the changes in my life that I had to make. It is just a question of what is more important to you.

[Mo Lung]

It is a choice you have to make. I was faced with the same situation - my wife would not marry me until she was priority one. She was happy to accept how important my training is to me, but needed to know that if she really needed me then she would come first. I did not think that was unreasonable and made the changes in my life that I had to make. It is just a question of what is more important to you.If you ever say anything like this to my wife, I'll have to kill you.

;)

[joedoe]

Like, when do I get to talk to your wife?

Well, I guess whenever you aren't around :D

Seriously though, the ironic thing is that once she was convinced that she was top priority in my life, she got a lot more relaxed about the time I spent training. I swear I will never understand women.

[Mo Lung]

Indeed.

:(
:confused:

[Reggie1]

I swear I will never understand women.

Ain't that the truth. And the reason why I'm still awake.

[David Jamieson]

My enthusiasm for relationships has effected my martial arts training.

Martial arts wants me all the time, but really, I prefer *****.

:D

This topic has been around for so long and is so swollen you can see it from space.

look! from space!

many, that's friggin 5 full circles on one forum now. LOL

next question will be about mcdojos, or chain punching or what does the word sijo mean etc etc etc.

[David Jamieson]

oh for god's sake you can't say p ussy here no more?

[Starchaser107]

your forum fu sucks worse than your kung fu
stop pússy footing around the issue :eek:

dang they've improved

[David Jamieson]

my forum fu is fine, I can't be bothered to throw in all the friggin bbs tags just to say poo poo pee pee ka ka words. :rolleyes:

[Fu-Pow]

What JP isn't saying is that she's an ex-power lifter and her hoo-hoo is twice as big as his pee-pee.

ROFLMAO! :eek: :D

[David Jamieson]

hoo hoo? I thought it was a cha cha?

man, the lingo these days gets more nizzle fa wizzle on da shizzle than it realy needs to be.

[stubbs]

Well i met up with that girl last night to break up....but i didn't actually get round to the breaking up bit, hehe. I'll give it another week maybe.

I've also met another girl who seems quite into me. She's 19, tall, blonde, loves the fact I've got a passion for martial arts. She said she respects and envys anyone who's passionate about something. She seems quite independant herself, AND she's a triplet with two sisters! :)
________
DODGE KINGSWAY (http://www.dodge-wiki.com/wiki/Dodge_Kingsway)

[David Jamieson]

don't let the girls take too much of your jing dude or your kungfu is gonna get weak. :p

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

man .. if that btich ever read this thread wed never hear from stubbs again.

[The Willow Sword]

Never Allow Your B@lls to be chained to some womans hip. As Warriors as we all like to think that we are we seldom live or even act like warriors,,and one of the impeccable aspects of being a warrior is that you dont allow the women to physchologically grab and take hold of your short hairs.

Besides you are wasting too much Jing to try and keep some girl around because you like to wet your carrot and feel manly. Now dont get me wrong,,i am not saying that you should not be in a relationship but what you have to do as a part of the male species is to assert your control in a way that doesnt 1.abuse the woman 2 abuse yourself and 3. takes you away from what YOU like to do for YOURSELF.

In the old days Warriors did not have any women around,,especially in times of battle(for obvious reasons that im sure you guys are aware of) not as to say that they didnt have women,,of course they did,,just not in the realm of training and such.
Now if the Woman in your life likes to train and such,,and you can do these things together,,,i would say that there also needs to be "Your own time" as we men need that just as women do. Especially on those time of the onth days where you should just take a road trip by yourself or your buddies whose women are ALSO having thier time of the month.

PEACE,,,TWS

[MasterKiller]

hoo hoo? I thought it was a cha cha?

man, the lingo these days gets more nizzle fa wizzle on da shizzle than it realy needs to be. Have you ever seen a naked woman? The hoo hoo is on top of the cha cha...you know, like a female pee-pee.

[cerebus]

Oh man! I just read this thread! I laughed so hard at MY's comment about JP dating BL that my laugh muscles are still hurting! Oh well, if she's not Blooming Lotus I'll bet that BL could top the girl's best golf game any day (right after BL takes the world San Shou title from Jenna Castillo :D ). JP's just searching for someone who's LIKE Blooming Looney, that's all. :p

[Dale Dugas]

My fiancee has a black belt, though Im training her in South Mantis and Iron Palm as she is little(4'11"). She is a personal trainer and trains more than I do, so she is an inspiration to me. Im one lucky guy and we are getting married with not a problem with MA training.

Though in the past I have had women do what exactly the things some of you have mentioned. They were shown the door not matter the skill with which they could remove chrome from the bumpers of trucks. In the end you want someone who is into you. Training is what we do and is what we are.

Nuff said.

Walking my circle,

Dale Dugas

[stubbs]

Well, things didn't work out. Guess I'll get back to my training then...
________
Volcano Digital (http://www.vaporshop.com/volcano-vaporizer.html)

[Judge Pen]

JP's just searching for someone who's LIKE Blooming Looney, that's all. :p

Nah, she has legit golf skills. I wouldn't touch BL with MasterKiller's hoo hoo.