Personal vs. Professional

[Zen_11]

At the school I'm attending we're like a family... We all see each other outside of class and some of us are very close... And like any family, conflicts are bound to occur... The problem we're having is keeping our personal feelings from affecting the professional side of the school/class.... Has anyone eles experinaced this issue???? Any advice or thoughts on how to advoid this type of problem???

[Akhilleus]

Absolutely...myself and my fellow instructors are great friends and sometimes its hard not to joke around and sometimes you have to remember who is the boss even though they are your friend outside of the school...it's definitely a tough situation...you just gotta try to keep them separate...I mean you can still be friends but you can't fool around in front of students and expect them not to goof off...now if these feelings are of a romantic nature that is much more complicated and difficult I'd imagine...

[Zen_11]

We have a mix of issues.... And yes, there is a romantic relationship.... Not everyone knows of the relationship, but theres so much tension.... Its seems to be affecting everyone.....

[norther practitioner]

Watch out for those innerschool relationships, sometimes they work out, but more often than not, it doesn't and it causes a lot of tension.... It doesn't have to, but it does happen.

[Zen_11]

This one is probably more complicated than most.... Its a Sifu/Student relationship......

[norther practitioner]

That happens more than you'd think....

[Zen_11]

Really??? For me its hard to give him (Sifu) the respect that I used to have for him before this relationship occured... Not that I don't respect him.... But like I said it can be difficult to separate the two relationships... The one inside class and the personal one outside....

[norther practitioner]

If you have lost that type of respect for him, maybe you should limit your outside contact...

[Zen_11]

I have... I even thought of leaving the school.... But He is a great teacher and I love the style... So its been a struggle to find a happy medium. Balancing the "friendship" and keeping it professional...

[norther practitioner]

That can be hard...

I've been in certain similar situations, and i realised, we're friends when we're one on one, he's the teacher at class, and has a lot to teach, but I stopped getting into all the affairs of the situation.

[Roc Doc]

BIZ AND PLEASURE NEVER MIX
might seem like it does now... later someone will be sorry.
namo,
good luck
~doc

[Zen_11]

I agree.... They don't mix well... And some seriouslly messed up things have resulted because of it.........

[JohnnyMnemonic]

I have... I even thought of leaving the school.... But He is a great teacher and I love the style... So its been a struggle to find a happy medium. Balancing the "friendship" and keeping it professional...


A teacher who is bopping the students will never teach you. Their energy is either on the current boppee, or the next target boppee. They will teach you in between hitting on the boppee.

I agree completely. I don't care what anyone says. You have a relationship with a student, you should be banned from teaching. No good can come of it. When the sex is over, so is the training. Tell me you really believe a broken up couple can still train together with no feelings interfering in the training?

I know exactly what you are talking about. The same thing happened at a place I was at. Eventually it killed the group. The instructor told us "men practice seperate from women so the men don't hit on the women". It was kind of insulting, like we could not concentrate on the training, but it was not a problem.

Then a few years later, the guys find out that the instructor has been using the women as a harem, working his way thru the crowd. Really slimey because it included the wives of some of the students.

I will never forget the day I walked into the house and the wife of one of the students was on her knees massaging the instructors feet. I say "oh, where is the husband?". "He is in Europe on a business trip". "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. I seeeeeeeee."

And if you know something about the body, what she was doing was sexual. It was no innocent foot massage. It was a sexual massage.

I left and never saw him again after that. I just kept thinking of that poor fool in Europe and his wife in the house with the instructor alone.

[ghost5]

We had the same problem. An instuctor in our old school hitting on the women. Found out later it was much worse than we knew. Yes, teachers are human like the rest of us but there is a professional attitude you should maintain.

I know that now I would never go back to this guy and study with him. Not saying anything about others' teachers in the same situation but this guy was a sleaze.

Best to keep that out of the school. As far as disagreements on a personal level outside the class, those happen, we work them out and go on. Friends are friends but we don't all agree all of the time.