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View Full Version : Minor altercation with knucklehead "friend"



Chief Fox
06-13-2005, 10:32 AM
So two of my friends come to my house on friday night so we can all go out. They are both pretty good guys and have been good friends but ever since I started taking kung fu, my one friend has something to prove.

He's always been an agressive person and has some self esteem issues but this has happened twice now. He's about 6'2" and weighs about 260lbs. I'm 5'11" and weigh 175lbs. So he's got 85lbs on me and played football in college so he knows how to use it.

We're in the bar. He's getting loaded. I've only had 2 beers and then decided that I was done for the night and was drinking ice water. So we're listening to this band and he's asking me why everyone always wants to mess with him. Then he starts telling me about something that happened over at the bathroom. How some dude started with him. So I say, "dude, don't worry about it. Just blow it off". So then he starts to demonstrate what happened. I say "dude, don't start". He starts pushing me. I say again, "dude, don't start". Then he grabs me by the throat. At this point, I've had enough. So I reach down, grab his balls, squeeze and twist. Then he lets go.

Like I said, this is the second time that something like this has happened. I think he's always wanted to study a martial art but just never has. I also think that he thinks that his status as the guy who can kick everyone's ass is some how in jeopardy because I take kung fu.

Anyway, there's no real purpose here. I just hate that he acts like this because it's ruining our friendship.

Ray Pina
06-13-2005, 11:20 AM
This is something I have learned well because more people know about my training then I would like (Long Beach is a small beach town and people talk)

You have two options: you can be everyone's polite little punching bag or you can demonstrate that you shouldn't be fooled with that way.

About a month ago someone I was becoming friends with found out about a fight I had and started getting very agressive with me at a bar .... going so far as to grab my hands. When he wouldn't remove them I removed them for him and put him in a headlock to calm down. He went for my eyes so I pushed him away and he regained balance and took a HUGE swing at me. I countered with a single blow, knocking him out and breaking his nose ..... it's a small town and a lot of people know about this now. A lot fo people don't like him so they don't think poorly of me because he's a bully and verbally agressive even though he's only like 170lbs.

Anyway, the point is I wasn't about to take $hit from him. You need only warn someone once not to go beyond actions you are comfortable with. A push can be deflected with enough force to demonstrate you don't want to play. A more agressive more should be countered with total agression and to a point that you overwhelm the man so that he realizes he's barked up the wrong tree.

I know this is tricky area. But my real friends wouldn't behave that way. We treat each other with respect. It's these aquientences that have something to prove but they won't prove that a) what I study is a joke or that b) they can make a fool of me publicly .... at least while on my watch. I study a new style and consider myself a representative of it.

Either way, you need to determine what your skill level is and how much $hit you're willing to take.

To me, grabbing the throte is completely unacceptable. And with one of his weapons just sitting on your throat idle like that, you're in a good position to mess him up to the level you're comfortable with.

It's a mindset. One of the greatest side-benefits of martial arts is being able to stand up for yourself, speak your mind, etc. and not have to worry about the guy with the injured ego who may get physical.

How do you feel about your training? That's the first place to start. If the guy was smaller, would you have done something? Removed his hands?

PangQuan
06-13-2005, 11:22 AM
Have you ever approached the idea of kung fu with him? Try and get him into some training, learning under a qualified master has a way of...humbling more aggresive people.

MonkeySlap Too
06-13-2005, 04:41 PM
Hmmm, I had a new brother-in-law, an ex-marine, and generally great guy. He's fast, strong, flexible, co-ordinated, and tough - but had no refined skill.

One day he and my sister came to visit me after I taught a class. He came flying at me with a 'what would you do if I did this?' full power, full speed assault.

Insert Beng quan.

I was nice, so he went flying across the room, smashed into the wall, and chipped his tooth.

He was laughing when he got up, said that he basically deserved that, and has been great ever since.

Try to identify your friends real purpose and redirect him. if that does not work, discourage him by being thorough in your dominance. Some guys act like dogs...

IronFist
06-13-2005, 07:04 PM
Monkey Steals the Peach in application!

How hard did you squeeze? I don't imagine it would take much force to get him to let go.

joedoe
06-13-2005, 08:05 PM
I hope you washed your hands afterwards :)

Chief Fox
06-14-2005, 08:29 AM
Monkey Steals the Peach in application!

How hard did you squeeze? I don't imagine it would take much force to get him to let go.

Monkey steals the peach. Exactly. Love that mantis.

I didn't squeeze that hard, it was the little twist that got him to let go.

GunnedDownAtrocity
06-14-2005, 09:01 AM
you should kill him.

kill him dead.

play with his remains until they are unplayable.