getting over the flinch reflex

[ReignOfTerror]

how many of you ever had someone slap or hit you in your family or so for a long period of time and even when you are an adult you flinch when they egt angry and are standing near you or raise their hand near you? how do you get over that so you don't flinch and close your eyes?

[Scott R. Brown]

Hi ROT,

What you are describing is not uncommon! Anyone who has suffered abuse acquires this defense mechanism. It is created simply by stimulus/response conditioning. Once you encounter a stimulation (being hit or yelled at with anger) often enough your subconscious mind becomes conditioned to make your body respond automatically, cringing and the fight or flight physical response! It is sort of like autopilot!

Stimulus/response is an efficient of way creating automatic responses. For example, when responding to danger in self-defense circumstances, but it can also be a bit difficult to undo when the response it no longer desirable. It takes time and practice! You must experience the stimulus and practice not responding to it or responding differently. It can be of some help to have a friend to practice with, but it is really the anger that stimulates the response rather than the actions. So to begin with, learn to not respond to the actions. Then you can practice in your mind to reprogram yourself to not respond to the anger. This is accomplished by running through the actions you are accustomed to experience in your mind and conditioning yourself, in your mind, to react in a different manner. As you practice your physical responses should slowly disappear over time.

[Mr Punch]

Full contact.

Hard drills (a strike or two, unpreprogrammed, without really pulling it if they don't cover/block...).

I don't flinch. Even when I hear some noise or something in the street I've made my jump/flinch response into a cover/inconspicuous-looking fence.

One useful tip is, as with many things, concentrate on your stance. When you hear something, make sure you are inconspicuously sinking your stance and unlocking your knees, so you have the balance/weighting to run/kick/punch without telegraphing.

TBH it isn' t that difficult.

[Mr Punch]

Brief cautionary tale, to back up the point about unlocking your knees.

This is true.

A friend of mine took a lot of karate. Some geezers who'd been threatening him for ages eventually drove a car at him. He got into stance.

...

He bounced over the car (witnesses said it was doing about 60), got snagged on the back and got dragged about 30 m. He was lucky to get away with a permanent splint in his arm and a plastic kneecap.

...

After training with me for a bit, and learning the basics of aiki evasion, he always said he wished he'd not quit his aiki school, and maybe he'd have been loose enough to avoid the car!

Moral; relax, especially your knees, and don't try to block cars.