View Full Version : How do you know you've been doing Martial Arts too LONG??

Eight Immortals
01-22-2001, 12:14 AM
- when you can't hold your girlfriends hand without putting her in a wrist lock.

- when you do horse stance over the toilet bowl.

- when you can't talk to anyone without inserting a quote from either the Tao de Ching or The Art of War.

- when you can't walk down the street without analysing every oncoming pedestrians moves and stances...

- when you're watching someone talking with sign language, and you start looking for the chin na applications...

- when you use a stapler as nunchaku, only to realize it as you hear a meaty 'thunk' from the palm of your hand.

- when you have a list of which power rangers you think you could beat in a fight.

- when you buy clothes with the expressed condition that you could fight in them. Makes it hard to buy a tux...

- when you inspect displays of kitchen knives for not only utility, but also their potential ease of use as "intruder deterrents".

- when you refuse to use a TV remote when the end of the staff works just as well for channel changing.

- when you casually using your foot/toe to push the walk signal when you are carrying something and not understanding for a moment why everyone else is staring at you as if you've just grown another head.

- when you look at every person you pass on the street and think up the fastest and most efficient way to take them down.

- when you feel the urge to bow whenever you walk into a room.

- when you can kick light switches on and off.

- when you get angry and punch a wall....and damage it.

- whenever you pass something wooden, your fist clenches and you need to resist the urge to break it.

:D :D :D :D

Eight Immortals
01-22-2001, 12:18 AM
Come on, which one do you catch yourself doing sometimes!! ;)

01-22-2001, 01:34 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
- when you buy clothes with the expressed condition that you could fight in them. Makes it hard to buy a tux...

Although I don't generally think about possible hindrances to self defence that particular clothing will provide - it is a real issue. Even the simple things like shoes. Some shoes just aren't made to be used while running. Some clothes really do restrict mobility - especially in the legs.

Often times, I will walk to and from work which is about 3km each way. I wear good walking shoes and I don't wear anything that will affect the length of my stride. Self-defence isn't what I have initially in mind, but clothing can really make a difference.

Oh yeah, I often operate the controls to my stereo/tv/vcr with my feet. I haven't been doing the fu for nearly long enough yet though!!! ;)


01-22-2001, 04:12 AM
How about every time your in a harware store, you pick up something martial looking and use it correctly in the aisle.

You can tell another MAist by how they walk.

You don't slip on ice. You don't get sick. When people say "I'm so stressed and tense and bla bla, so much to do." You think they are stupid and need to go meditate.

You get annoyed when sick people drink ice water and breathe from their chests.

You think about MA in public and before you catch yourself, you are doing MA in public.

People know you as "The karate/kungfu guy" or Kung Fu Girl.

People ask you, "could you kick my ass" and with no malice you say, "Yes"

You can open jars. Any jar.

You have great posture, a nice ass, back muscles, shoulders, legs, as six pack that rarely shows because you have nice baby belly from proper breathing.

You catch the glass before it tips over. If you drop something or something falls, some part of your body will catch it.

It doesn't really bother you to get kicked in the groin.

You know the history and prominent teachers of styles that have nothing to do with your own.

You have an AWMA/Century Catolog. In your house, you have weapons laying around that you don't even notice, but grab the attention of every guest.

You video library consists of MA movies and (check carefully) nothing else except for maybe "Braveheart" and "Army of Darkness" or some other sword fighing movie. You own at least two bruce lee movies. At least three Jet Li movies, and you can't change the channel when a MA movie comes on TNT.

You told people to watch "Romeo Must Die" even though the movie sucked. Then you watched it again and perhaps even bought it.

You pick up a Martial art magazine and you know people in it. Lots of them. You always check the magazine racks for MA publications even though allot of them have gone downhill.

You can watch "The Matrix" and give the classical names for the fight scenes. (applies to all MA movies

If your not bleeding, your not having enough fun.

Daniel Madar
01-22-2001, 06:49 AM
You have a list of dojos to destroy when you take vacation from practicing four hours a day.

You go to chinatown to practice so that you can get into fights with quality opponents.

When you get involved in a sword duel against someone using a metal sword, you know enough to use a wooden one for the "edge".

01-22-2001, 05:44 PM
Oh come on now, I know everyone at least once has opened a door using their fist or knifehand. Or found themselves working on a stance while standing in line at the store.

"There are many who talk of the Way, but few who walk the Way."

01-22-2001, 07:45 PM
this is hilarious. these are all sigs that you are doing martial arts enough!

i like to walk quickly through crowds, looking at nothing but seeing everything, and avoid touching another person. stepping kid!

good, funny a$$ post cesar.

Ben Gash
01-22-2001, 10:43 PM
8stepsifu, um ,do you know me? :D

"Weapons are the embodiments of fear,
the wise use them only when they have no choice"
Lao Tzu

01-23-2001, 03:11 AM
i use variations of stances when maneuvering through the halls at school (they're always much higher, though)

in dressing rooms when i'm shopping for pants, see if the pants move the right way when i move into the stances

at lunch, i see everyone's weak spots and think of which taiji moves i could use

i also use my feet to operate my tv and playstation, as well as occasionally a light switch (those things can take some skill).

02-10-2001, 09:57 AM
You mean to tell me that none martial artist dont do these things? Wow, what a concept. I knew they (non-MA's) were strange, but....

02-10-2001, 03:21 PM
You've been doing martial arts too long when you post "How do you know you've been doing martial arts for too long" threads.

02-11-2001, 03:45 PM
I admit have done most of those things,


-Not "holding on" whilst on public transport in order to improve balance.

-Side kicking pedistrian crossing buttons.

-kicking lamp posts when waiting in the street.

-practicing forms whilst making dinner/cups of tea etc.

-the inability to walk past a big mirror without pulling a stance.

-using the mamtis hook to grab hold of things.

-deciding which objects around me would br the best to use as a weapon if a situation were to arise.

I can espescially relate to the joint lock on girlfriend thing. I got told to stop doing it as she was scared that I was goin to break her wrist.

I've just realised how sad I am. Make it stop!!!!

02-12-2001, 12:07 AM
Back when I was 17 years old and had been taking Hsing-I for about 5 months, I smarted off to my Mom. She went to slap me and without thinking I blocked her slap. Not a good idea !. I froze as soon as I did it, didn't know what to say.
She got about 10 times as mad and really blew her top at me. All I could do was backpedal and swear I didn't mean to block her, that it just happened.
I never did that again !!!

02-12-2001, 11:33 PM
One time, a friend of mine was reaching for my necklace to take a look while I wasn't paying attention, and I blocked her hand- a little overreaction there. Another time, someone was about to play punch me, and I just instinctively whipped out my hand to block it. I saved that by pretending I wanted a high five, whew!

02-16-2001, 02:42 AM
Sounds like you are all on the right track! I can't stop myself from using a knife hand on a swinging bathroom door. Not hard, just enough to open it. Frequently have used mantis hook when driving and six pack is about to fall on floor of truck. Once I droped a syringe (I am a nurse) and I snatched it from the air. Ouch!! Stuck it right in the meaty part. No, I had not given a shot with it. I was trying to get air out of an IV line when I fumbled it. I think that these things are part of us. We can't help it. To do so would be to deny our true selves.

02-16-2001, 08:57 PM
I do this stuff all the time. Especially when im about to take a shower and waiting for the water to warm up. Im always doing strikes into the mirror and stuff like that. Kicking furniture is a big thing too. I jump on couch and then jump off doing some flying Jet Li type kick. Its great fun. I recently got a punching bag though so i beat the crap out of it almost everynight for training. That helps to keep me from kicking walls and chairs for the fun of it.

02-18-2001, 08:25 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> You know the history and prominent teachers of styles that have nothing to do with your own.[/quote]

8step- you got me on that one, here's the same one with a twist.

-when your family members the history and prominent teachers of styles that have nothing to do with your own

-when your family can name certain techniques when watching a kung fu movie.."oh there goes the phoenix eye..butterfly twist...hey! that's not drunken fist!"

I was surprised my brother knew that!

-even your baby brother knows what a basic horse stance is like

"Always be ready"

09-22-2001, 05:18 AM
ttt just because I like to bring up old dinasaurs

"Always be ready"

[This message was edited by NorthernMantis on 09-22-01 at 08:28 PM.]

09-22-2001, 07:19 AM
- when you go to a night club and stand in a corner so no one can sneak up on you..

- while your taking a shower you punch the wall or practice technqiues..

- when the only people you go out with is fellow classmates that you know can handle themself incase a situation arrises..

- when you spend more time training then making money..

- when you punch a wall where ever you go..

- when your girlfriend leaves you because you spend more time in kwoon then with her..

- when your friends who dont do kungfu start to properly salute you..

09-22-2001, 08:53 AM
-You walk on the left side of the street, so you can see traffic headed towards you

-You sit in the corner of a restaurant, away from the window, so you can see everything in the building

-You never stand with your hands in your pocket, cause it leaves you wide open

-You open or shut doors with an inch punch

-You use peng to open big doors

-You play chi sao with your steering wheel

-You break up more fights than you start(a good thing)

_Your friends cringe whenever you make a sudden move around them

-You run out of training partners, so you push hands with your dog(He's getting pretty good!)

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about
life. IT GOES ON.

unclaimed effort
09-22-2001, 11:46 PM
when you buy clothes with the expressed condition that you could fight in them. Makes it hard to buy a tux...

when you feel the urge to bow whenever you walk into a room.

when you get angry and punch a wall....and damage it.

These are the ones that I catch myself doing.

What is a tree without it's roots? What is a martial art without its basics?