I REALLY dont get it

[JetLi'sFearless]

in movies when a guy htis the other in the gut even if he doesnt even use his shoulder pwoer and turn with the punch and just throws an arm punch, the guy who hits the other guy always drops him. WHen I did a [proper sucker straight right to the guys gut, and another time kneed him there while grabbing his neck with my opposite arm and his arm he just started fighting me. Why wont they drop when i hit them there? is it casue IM not hitting them in the solar plex but too low? or is it that the adrenaline they have makes them not feel it? Heck even zidane dropped a guy to the ground with a headbutt to the chest and I cant even do it with a perfect right to a freshman-sophmore )possibly junior but i doubt it) high school kid for some reason.

[@PLUGO]

Maybe it's this part "in movies" that's the problem.

[SevenStar]

maybe the guys in the movies train harder than you...

[BraveMonkey]

Part of the issue may be your timing. A good shot to the belly is best done when the target is inhaling. If you catch them exhaling, they are obviously stronger against the blow. Also, if you are aiming for the gut you want your power to move upward towards the solar plexus (even if you don't strike there directly) to get that "knocked the wind out of him" result.

Of course, if a guy is just ripped across the abs, it can be hard to penetrate. Instead you might want to shoot for the ribs or kidneys. This is assuming, of course, that you have VERY good reason for trying to hurt this person, or are just practicing.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

and I cant even do it with a perfect right to a freshman-sophmore )possibly junior but i doubt it) high school kid for some reason.


your aiming too high dude. start with 8 year olds and work your way up.

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

I am not sure what your problem is, every time i punch someone in the gut they fold over into fetal position and cry like babies.

If you can't seem to learn how on your own, maybe you can spend some time in jail gett'n some Muscles on you from the weight room.

[JetLi'sFearless]

You guys remember how I told u I got jumped by m,ultiple highschoolers? anyway I have a swollen cheek and I have had a hard time even eating the last few days and it isnt going away much. So I decided to make them pay for doing this to me esp while I was on the gorund and by multiple people. I started walking around high schooler slooking for the few I could recognize. Anyway I ended up recognizing one and choked him for a bit to get info out of him where the main plaeyrs are (I saw him in the group but none of the others I actually fought or recognized that hit me from the side were there at that particualr hs). his friend didnt know anything about this apperently and started tlaking trash to me. The next day I waited till that time and backe dout attacking that whole gorup at once but saw that the one I choked earlier looked to be going to play baseball on pe or something. I also backe dout of fighting him there (casue IM really a pus-y) but as I was leaving something fired up inside me and I came back to challenge him to a fight. Anyway it turne dout he wasnt the same guy but that same friend who was talking smack the day earlier was there. I was about to levae but he called me some names and kept giving me a dirty shety type look and smile, so I started walkign toward him and he didnt even nudge and was just as coky no matter how close I was getting.

I hit him with a right to his gut, and it didnt evend rop him like in the movies those punches always drop them, but he took his abckpack off and wanted to fight. I threw a couple of jabs inf ront of his face to egt him to back up ro cover up and hit his hands msotly and he backed up and I left, and he kept threatening to knock me out but everytime I was about to go at him some teacher lady ro something kept blocking him from me.

ANyway later in the day I recognized a girl who I remember from that dance where those high schoolers were who jumped me and fuked up my jaw. I stopped the car and went to get the guys name from here. SHe said she cant tell me form the egt go and no matter what I said she said she cant give that kind of info out. I told her to tell him to watch his abck (cause I want to get him nervous and scared of me ebfore I even finally meet him). That stupid girl said "you better watch out" as I was leaving. Than I remembered I had a knife in my pocket and could egt the info out of her by force, but in my mind I was thinking if I should or not since that will only warn him to carry a knife himself sinc ehell know form her I carry one and not only could I be facing the multiple opponent disadvantage again but with weapons too, also I could be charged with a cirme against her. So I just stood still and thought to myself what to do for a minute.

Out of the blue a car rolls up and three people start coming out and I recognize one of them as the kid whose gut I hit earlier and didnt even seem fazed by (dont know if its adrenaline or just that I suck or the movies arent relaistic). I knew than that I dont want to be there against 3 people and in the middle of a crowded street like that and pulled my knife out hoping it would scare them off telling them to leave me alone and get the hel out of here. They didnt even seem scared of the knife and kept coming at me. Their dad whow as the third person there got in the car and said hed be following me. I really didnt want to stab anyone so I put it in my pocket but than i realized I have a hole in my pocket and it fell. One of them grabbed the knife and started threatening me back with it. The same one whose gut I hit ealrier in the gut came at me first and I hit him with a right straight on his fac eperfectly, than I suprised myself again and hti the toher one who came at me with a jab. Than I satretd bolting out of there and unliek earlier they didnt seem to eprsue me (I think due to getting hit everytime they tried getting close to me) btu clale dme a coward instead (for being outnumbered I guess makes me a coward). Than I hit behind some hsoue for awhile and remembered I parked my car there where we fought essentially. (not I realize when I had this momentum I should have continued the offense and layed one of them down witha continues furray of punches but than again the dad would have came out than probably).


I thought that they would be gone by than so I started walking back and all of a sudden found out they were parked right next to my car (I hope they didnt recongize this and I aint gonna egt a visit from the cops tommorow or they wont check for fingerprints on the knife but than again i was attacked and only used the knife to bait thema way form me as I even put it back in my pocket). Than the dad comes out alone (I guess they were too scared to come oupt with him and ahd enough by than). And I ddint even want to fight him, yet he grabs my arms and punches me in the face. I respond by trying to box back but he clinches right away (I geuss they told him I have boxing skills or something), and everytime i break he tries clinching again and ends up hitting me in the nuts once with a kick from a clinch). I start running out of there and thinking either the cops or those kids will make it ugly for me and it aint worth fighting him. But he keeps following, I turn around and start fighting him but he keeps clinching. I know I got at least one good roundhouse kick to his body in though but it didnt seem to affect him or his adrenaline. Smoe lady there kept telling hi to leave me alone and I jolted out of there.

As I was walking home not far form where I live there is a crummy house that I ahrdly see anyone come out of and I hear a voice "DO you think they found him yet" and it sounds exactly like one of those kids (the one I hit in the gut). And I turn around right there and find a place ot hide. So now I find out msot likely they are almsot my neighboors from a cross street away from me and I almost inevitably will have to fight all 3 of them again.

[JetLi'sFearless]

Im ****ed off I ran when i got the dad one on one but I didnt do very good as je pet clinching and was mroe agressive (I was already on defense mode). Also it didnt help he said the cops are alreadyc oming than when i replied "YOu 3 were the ones who attacked me". That lady even saw this (I was retreating and he attacking). and he tried lying to her that I pulled a knife out on them (when i only did it after they started attacking me and put it right back not long after). WHat I should have done is used my footwork to keept fistance and kick his legs or gut, or throw some body punches isntead of just going for the head and getting lcinched (he was fat and heavy so it was ahrd getting out of the clinch with him).

Oh and the reason I hit that kid int he gut besides his ****yness and him disrespecting me the daye arlier by protecting that other guy and calling me names inf ront of all fo them and trying to make me look weak, was that I wanted to prove a point to that main group that attacke dme and messed my cheek up. I wanted to prove I will go through anyone to get them and leave them in my path kind of like the mongols did in the ghenghis khan era. If I left and didnt do anything it would show weakness and they would know Im not real and they can get away with just attacking me or anyone else like that and hruiting them and not suffer any consequences.

[laugarkuen]

You are either young or just need therapy. Even if you are young though some therapy might not hurt.

[JetLi'sFearless]

Im 22, and why would I need therapy? I wasnt gonna do anything revenge wise but after absically hurting every second I try getting something to eat keeps remind me of the incident and hwo they probably do or will do this to other people.

[TenTigers]

if you are fifteen, that would put you in the 48th trimester, and perhaps in some countries, your mom might still be able to get an abortion. That would be your best option.

[jethro]

Next time you post a message, delete at least half of it before posting.

[golden arhat]

lame

i'm 16 btw and i dont act like you


christ thats pathetic
it just sounds like some coward trying to justify it to himself

[golden arhat]

oh yeah and learn to spell i could barely read half of that

[golden arhat]

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Mr Punch]

Did you konw, Cmbradige Uinvrestiy sduties hvae sowhn, you can put the mdidle ltteers of wrods in any odrer and poepel can sitll unredsatnd. I tihnk i'ts blloocks msylef.

Fcuknig wbeofot, lrean to wirte! LLO!


if you are fifteen, that would put you in the 48th trimester, and perhaps in some countries, your mom might still be able to get an abortion. That would be your best option.You know, I was actually thinking the very same thing, but I couldn't be bothered to actually work out the trimester. That makes you special.

[Mr Punch]

An asshat is technically an item of clothing, and therefore shouldn't, by the laws of the universe, be able to punch.

[bodhitree]

Zidane

1 is a professional athlete

2 used his whole body in that headbutt, it's not the target, it's the weapon

3 that guy was not expecting it


Oh, and you just don't train hard enough. Oh, you're 22 and picking fights with high school kids? Why aren't you in jail? (to build those big muscles).

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

wbeofot

Reply]
That is the only one I couldn't get instantly. It's also the only one I can't get at all.

[bodhitree]

you really like to waste time typing don't you?

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

Is it Webfoot?

[MasterKiller]

Suicide is still an option.

[bodhitree]

Suicide is still an option.


Don't say that this is the type of dumbsh!t that would take 30 people with him

[Mr Punch]

Is it Webfoot?Hvae a baanna! :D

[bodhitree]

we sohlud hvae a fruom wehre we awlyas tlak lkie tish.


me fial elngihs, tahts unpssobile

[bodhitree]

I bet you type 120 wpm, with an error rate of 120%



You guys remember how I told u I got jumped by m,ultiple highschoolers? anyway I have a swollen cheek and I have had a hard time even eating the last few days and it isnt going away much. So I decided to make them pay for doing this to me esp while I was on the gorund and by multiple people. I started walking around high schooler slooking for the few I could recognize. Anyway I ended up recognizing one and choked him for a bit to get info out of him where the main plaeyrs are (I saw him in the group but none of the others I actually fought or recognized that hit me from the side were there at that particualr hs). his friend didnt know anything about this apperently and started tlaking trash to me. The next day I waited till that time and backe dout attacking that whole gorup at once but saw that the one I choked earlier looked to be going to play baseball on pe or something. I also backe dout of fighting him there (casue IM really a pus-y) but as I was leaving something fired up inside me and I came back to challenge him to a fight. Anyway it turne dout he wasnt the same guy but that same friend who was talking smack the day earlier was there. I was about to levae but he called me some names and kept giving me a dirty shety type look and smile, so I started walkign toward him and he didnt even nudge and was just as coky no matter how close I was getting.

I hit him with a right to his gut, and it didnt evend rop him like in the movies those punches always drop them, but he took his abckpack off and wanted to fight. I threw a couple of jabs inf ront of his face to egt him to back up ro cover up and hit his hands msotly and he backed up and I left, and he kept threatening to knock me out but everytime I was about to go at him some teacher lady ro something kept blocking him from me.

ANyway later in the day I recognized a girl who I remember from that dance where those high schoolers were who jumped me and fuked up my jaw. I stopped the car and went to get the guys name from here. SHe said she cant tell me form the egt go and no matter what I said she said she cant give that kind of info out. I told her to tell him to watch his abck (cause I want to get him nervous and scared of me ebfore I even finally meet him). That stupid girl said "you better watch out" as I was leaving. Than I remembered I had a knife in my pocket and could egt the info out of her by force, but in my mind I was thinking if I should or not since that will only warn him to carry a knife himself sinc ehell know form her I carry one and not only could I be facing the multiple opponent disadvantage again but with weapons too, also I could be charged with a cirme against her. So I just stood still and thought to myself what to do for a minute.

Out of the blue a car rolls up and three people start coming out and I recognize one of them as the kid whose gut I hit earlier and didnt even seem fazed by (dont know if its adrenaline or just that I suck or the movies arent relaistic). I knew than that I dont want to be there against 3 people and in the middle of a crowded street like that and pulled my knife out hoping it would scare them off telling them to leave me alone and get the hel out of here. They didnt even seem scared of the knife and kept coming at me. Their dad whow as the third person there got in the car and said hed be following me. I really didnt want to stab anyone so I put it in my pocket but than i realized I have a hole in my pocket and it fell. One of them grabbed the knife and started threatening me back with it. The same one whose gut I hit ealrier in the gut came at me first and I hit him with a right straight on his fac eperfectly, than I suprised myself again and hti the toher one who came at me with a jab. Than I satretd bolting out of there and unliek earlier they didnt seem to eprsue me (I think due to getting hit everytime they tried getting close to me) btu clale dme a coward instead (for being outnumbered I guess makes me a coward). Than I hit behind some hsoue for awhile and remembered I parked my car there where we fought essentially. (not I realize when I had this momentum I should have continued the offense and layed one of them down witha continues furray of punches but than again the dad would have came out than probably).


I thought that they would be gone by than so I started walking back and all of a sudden found out they were parked right next to my car (I hope they didnt recongize this and I aint gonna egt a visit from the cops tommorow or they wont check for fingerprints on the knife but than again i was attacked and only used the knife to bait thema way form me as I even put it back in my pocket). Than the dad comes out alone (I guess they were too scared to come oupt with him and ahd enough by than). And I ddint even want to fight him, yet he grabs my arms and punches me in the face. I respond by trying to box back but he clinches right away (I geuss they told him I have boxing skills or something), and everytime i break he tries clinching again and ends up hitting me in the nuts once with a kick from a clinch). I start running out of there and thinking either the cops or those kids will make it ugly for me and it aint worth fighting him. But he keeps following, I turn around and start fighting him but he keeps clinching. I know I got at least one good roundhouse kick to his body in though but it didnt seem to affect him or his adrenaline. Smoe lady there kept telling hi to leave me alone and I jolted out of there.

As I was walking home not far form where I live there is a crummy house that I ahrdly see anyone come out of and I hear a voice "DO you think they found him yet" and it sounds exactly like one of those kids (the one I hit in the gut). And I turn around right there and find a place ot hide. So now I find out msot likely they are almsot my neighboors from a cross street away from me and I almost inevitably will have to fight all 3 of them again.

[jethro]

I bet you type 120 wpm, with an error rate of 120%

Editing the post would help, but he should really take my idea and just delete half of the post after he gets done typing, then post it. This way somebody might read the entire message. Doubtful though.

And JEtLi'sFearless, why did you change your name from Hieronim? and what is a Hieronim?

[ChinoXL]

i was hardcore like that when i was 16 and it was a 16 on 70 rumble and got owned.. ur 22 u shouldn't even have gotten into that in the first place.. and 2nd of all you should have younger kids taking care of that for you

[Vilmore]

What you're saying about zidane is true, but is besides the point. Football players will drop like flies: if hit, or if barely hit, or if not hit. Why? because they want the other guy to be send of by the ref. So thats why football players alwyas look like they are weak and in alot of pain.

But seriously you shouldn't have sucker punched the guy, because that'll only get you into troubles. Oh wait, it allready got you into troubles.

[David Jamieson]

punch lower, like at about ball level if you really want to drop someone...or at least buckle them over. :D

Unless you're one of Tu's boy's a.k.a ~g's targeting systems.

[jethro]

in movies when a guy htis the other in the gut even if he doesnt even use his shoulder pwoer and turn with the punch and just throws an arm punch, the guy who hits the other guy always drops him. WHen I did a [proper sucker straight right to the guys gut, and another time kneed him there while grabbing his neck with my opposite arm and his arm he just started fighting me. Why wont they drop when i hit them there? is it casue IM not hitting them in the solar plex but too low? or is it that the adrenaline they have makes them not feel it? Heck even zidane dropped a guy to the ground with a headbutt to the chest and I cant even do it with a perfect right to a freshman-sophmore )possibly junior but i doubt it) high school kid for some reason.

Well, have you tried kicking people yet?

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

if you are fifteen, that would put you in the 48th trimester, and perhaps in some countries, your mom might still be able to get an abortion. That would be your best option.

best post this thread.

[golden arhat]

What you're saying about zidane is true, but is besides the point. Football players will drop like flies: if hit, or if barely hit, or if not hit. Why? because they want the other guy to be send of by the ref. So thats why football players alwyas look like they are weak and in alot of pain.

But seriously you shouldn't have sucker punched the guy, because that'll only get you into troubles. Oh wait, it allready got you into troubles.

why would football players drop like flies ?
i mean they are just normal people with better legs and football skills
most normal people dont drop like flies what makes footballers special ??

and as for in game fights do you really think they want to be seen as a pss y by legions of their fans,teammates ?

they only fake injuries when fouled not in fights

[golden arhat]

An asshat is technically an item of clothing, and therefore shouldn't, by the laws of the universe, be able to punch.

what does this guy have against me ????

[Judge Pen]

You are either young or just need therapy. Even if you are young though some therapy might not hurt.

Troll: -.01 Really lame, actually.

[Mr Punch]

what does this guy have against me ????

LOL!!! That statement had absolutely nothing to do with you! But if the asshat fits, let them wear it!:D :D

[JetLi'sFearless]

I might have started a war. Those guys who I said I willprotect and the reason i got attacked and for standing up to one of them when they were trash talking him showed up at that dance but the enemy crew didnt. One girl that I mentioned earlier whose ex boyfriend is the main guy who was trash talking and who I saw attack me form the side first was on the phone and talked to the guy I was protecting and who was the main perosn they were gonna attack. This time he shwoed up with a large crew and we were ready, apperently now they will show up nextweek and its gonna be a huge brawl. What pised me off though is that there were two of their friends there and they started asking me questions and telling me they know them and are friends with them, I asked them if they were there last week and they replied yea but when I asked them if they participated in my beating they replied that they didnt and one of them said "You think Id be talking to you right now if I did?" but than they started accusing me off trash talking and talking smack and isntead of hitting them there or challenging them to step outside at that moment I abcktracked and tried explaining it and how I didnt start anything and was jsut defending that guy after they were harassing him. ALso at one point some guy was talking to my crew and it looked like he was on our side and angry with that group as well that attacked me so I went up to him and said whatsup extending my hand to him and he just looked at me and didnt extend his hand back. It was only after a bit he found out it was me who was attacked and started tlaking to me, but I was already onr elax mdoe since I knew those guys arent showing up and loose and didnt react to him and kinda looked punked inf ront of all those guys. I should have showed him with one hand a bit back and be like "whats ur problem man why dont u extend ur arm to me?".I was always thinking to myself that its best avoid any sort of altercaiton or fight with any other person that didnt participate in my beating cause that couldprevent me from themletting me in the dance next week and i want to have as many allies as possibleagainst those numbers.

[Kung Pao]

YouI started walking around high schooler slooking for the few I could recognize. Anyway I ended up recognizing one and choked him for a bit to get info out of him where the main plaeyrs are (I saw him in the group but none of the others I actually fought or recognized that hit me from the side were there at that particualr hs). :rolleyes:

he next day I waited till that time and backe dout attacking that whole gorup at once but saw that the one I choked earlier looked to be going to play baseball on pe or something. :D

Im 22, and why would I need therapy?:p


You need therapy because you're stalking around a high school at twenty-two looking to fight some punks that are beating you up. ****, I'd have hated to have seen you in HS. Swirlies must have been a daily occurance.

Here you are, seeking revenge for your high school beatings, still catching them at the hands of high schoolers...lol. You're either the worst fighter in the world, or the biggest ***** ever.

Let me guess, you study tae kwan dough?

Actually, I don't think you need therapy. You're 22, and still in high school. You need a ****ing tutor, and quick.

[jethro]

Wait, Hieronim is still in highschool?!?!?

It is very hard to understand his posts, but I think he is saying he goes around to various highschools looking for people to beat up. If that is the goal, I don't see why it would be hard. You shouldn't go around trying to pick fights, but if you can't beat anybody up, then stop trying to. Go get a job.

[JetLi'sFearless]

No thats not whatIm saying. I went to that dance with high school kids that was held at some func enter to tey to meet girls, and the only reason I started wlaking aorund high schools was to find thsoe guys who messed up my faceand jumped me who are high schoolers.

[jethro]

OK, so that is what you are saying. You are going to a high school to fight people. You should probably try to hang out with some people your own age. That way, if you get beaten up, it wasn't done by some high school kid.

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

If I am not mistaken I think he said he went to a highschool dance to meet girls?

[bodhitree]

fi yuo loko he atclluy eidts hsi pstos.

[jethro]

His editing doesn't help the posts make sense. He edits them so he can put in cuss words. For some reason he wants us to read those but it doesn't matter how the rest of his post looks.

[golden arhat]

medicate


ignore


rinse ,repeat

[Vilmore]

@ golden arhat: Football players just trie to get penalties, free kicks or cards, thats why they go down so easely. Its not because they are weak, its because they want to. And the difference between normal people and football players is there's a referee watching them.
You're from manchester, you should have at least a slight bit of knowledge about football, even if you are totally uninterrested.

It just suprizes me how many people are tricked by football players, how many people say they are wimps or something. Zidane's "header" wasn't that hard aftherall, materazzi just played on. Still he dropped like a fly to make sure zidane is send off.

[jethro]

Soccer blows.

[golden arhat]

@ golden arhat: Football players just trie to get penalties, free kicks or cards, thats why they go down so easely. Its not because they are weak, its because they want to. And the difference between normal people and football players is there's a referee watching them.
You're from manchester, you should have at least a slight bit of knowledge about football, even if you are totally uninterrested.

It just suprizes me how many people are tricked by football players, how many people say they are wimps or something. Zidane's "header" wasn't that hard aftherall, materazzi just played on. Still he dropped like a fly to make sure zidane is send off.

ok fine case in point

cantana kicking that guy
freddy ljunberg PUNCHING THE REF


for free kicks yes they do go down easily but to say "footballers drop like flies" is just stupid
zidane took the guy by surprise and the other guy went down because he was surprised he didnt think to himself "oh he's gonna headbutt me now so i'll make it look really bad" foot ballers when invloved in a fight fight just liike everybody else
its only when it comes to fouls that they drop so easily
so get a clue before u makea statement like that

[golden arhat]

Soccer blows.

1 its called football u play it with your feet

2 it only blows cos america is no good at it

[bodhitree]

1 its called football u play it with your feet

2 it only blows cos america is no good at it


You're just mad because you have a crush on Beckam

[golden arhat]

You're just mad because you have a crush on Beckam

i support arsenal david beckham was from man u
i live in manchester but i'm from north london

another fine display of your knowlege of the beautiful game

[jethro]

1 its called football u play it with your feet

2 it only blows cos america is no good at it

Soccer is worse than hockey. I am only good at basketball, but that is not the only sport i like. I can't put into words how bad soccer is.

[laugarkuen]

1 its called football u play it with your feet

Say it again slowly for them :p




2 it only blows cos america is no good at it

I don't follow football so I could be totally wrong but I'm sure I remember them beating us at it at some point.


Troll: -.01 Really lame, actually.

RAHHH! Be I scared you :D

Seriously have you read JLF's posts? Or were you calling JLF the troll?

[Mega-Foot]

in movies when a guy htis the other in the gut even if he doesnt even use his shoulder pwoer and turn with the punch and just throws an arm punch, the guy who hits the other guy always drops him. WHen I did a [proper sucker straight right to the guys gut, and another time kneed him there while grabbing his neck with my opposite arm and his arm he just started fighting me. Why wont they drop when i hit them there? is it casue IM not hitting them in the solar plex but too low? or is it that the adrenaline they have makes them not feel it? Heck even zidane dropped a guy to the ground with a headbutt to the chest and I cant even do it with a perfect right to a freshman-sophmore )possibly junior but i doubt it) high school kid for some reason.

Several people requested that I make an appearance here to help you with your quandary. I shall respond to each of your posts this afternoon, but shall take my time to reflect upon each, in order that we can help you get bloody vengeance on these fiends.

My first suspicion is that the man you are trying to kill has training. As far as you are aware, is he associated in any way with a respectable ninja clan? If so, your efforts are in vain. The only way to beat a ninja, is to out-ninja him. If you have a Master's Degree, I feel I can be of some use to you.

If you're hitting him in the solar plexus, or even below it with little or no effect, I must assume that you are a weak and girlish man. It does not take much to activate the devastating effects that follow in the wake of a strike to the solar plexus. Myself, I've taken many a foe to the ground with nothing more than a thumb to the solar plexus. There was one instance, during the riots that ensued the fall of the Trifold Resistance in Bhutan, in which I actually bit a man in the solar plexus, and killed him on the spot. Have you tried this tactic yet? I highly recommend it, although it can leave a bad taste in one's mouth.

Why are you fighting this foe face-to-face? I suggest meeting him on your grounds, on your terms, my friend. Have you made ample usage of the terrain? Bushes are a great start. Any kind of shrubbery makes a fantastic cover, from which to spring an ambush. Generally, when I am forced to take on a foe much larger than myself, I hide behind a shrubbery and make animal noises to attract his attention. Obviously, you must be familiar with the local animal population to make best usage of this subterfuge. Were I in Kenya, I would chirp like the gazelle. Were I in Wyoming, I would growl like a bear. Here, in Los Angeles, I find that a simple alley cat meow works like clockwork. Large men have an unseemly curiousity, when it comes to animal calls. When the cat's meow touches down upon their unassuming ears, they find themselves approaching the shrubbery or dumpster in question like lambs to the slaughter, and there I am, waiting with my samurai dagger in hand, and a length of rope.

The hardest part of this technique is in the waiting, though. Sometimes it takes several minutes to get them wimpling your way. In several cases, it took hours for me to draw my prey into the trap. Once, I even had to stake it out for 36 hours.

See, when you're crouched behind that shrubbery in your ninja gear, you can feel a might bit foolish. It's uncomfortable, and branches are poking you somthing fierce in your nether region, and sometimes there's spiders (I don't do spiders!). Ick! And if it's morning time, and dawn's approaching, the dew spreads over you and seeps through your clothing. You'll chafe at the crotch, and your clothing sticks to your body. By the time you're prepared to drop that devastating axe kick, you've got a whedgie like nobody's business. And if nature calls....well, you're in the bush.

It can get a little messy.

But all in all, it's a surefire technique to get a quick kill, and to get the drop on someone larger than yourself.

I must repair to the students' quarters. Apparently there's been a break-in. I'll be back later, after I recon.

Until we meet again,

John Takeshi,
8th Dan Tai Shing Pek Kwar of Grandmaster Sensei Chan Tai San lineage
8th Dan Shao-lin Ninjitsu

[cjurakpt]

ok, I admit it - this guy is freakin' hilarious: the best "obvious" troll we've had for a while; at this point, he's so outlandish that no on in their right mind is going to take him seriously (although out of decorum, he ought to drop the CTS thing - UNLESS, he actually is a former student of Sifu's going incognito, and this is his strange idea of getting revenge for all the torture he probably went through with the old man...that might hold some water)

anyway, I will point out some flaws in his plan regarding the use of a shrubbery to hide out in when I have the time to do so (I just have to hunt down some video footage that I cannot access at my current location)...

[PangQuan]

ok, I admit it - this guy is freakin' hilarious: the best "obvious" troll we've had for a while; at this point, he's so outlandish that no on in their right mind is going to take him seriously (although out of decorum, he ought to drop the CTS thing - UNLESS, he actually is a former student of Sifu's going incognito, and this is his strange idea of getting revenge for all the torture he probably went through with the old man...that might hold some water)

anyway, I will point out some flaws in his plan regarding the use of a shrubbery to hide out in when I have the time to do so (I just have to hunt down some video footage that I cannot access at my current location)...

dude, you have to see his imartial page.

[cjurakpt]

dude, you have to see his imartial page.

has he updated it? last I saw it there was one pic of some Tekken looking dude facing off with a more run of the mill ninja type...and of course his wack-a-doo description of himself...

[Mega-Foot]

You guys remember how I told u I got jumped by m,ultiple highschoolers? anyway I have a swollen cheek and I have had a hard time even eating the last few days and it isnt going away much. So I decided to make them pay for doing this to me esp while I was on the gorund and by multiple people.

This is a good start. The best time to get bloody vengenance is while the bruise is still fresh upon thy cheek. Let us get started, so we can commence the happy hunting.


I started walking around high schooler slooking for the few I could recognize. Anyway I ended up recognizing one and choked him for a bit to get info out of him where the main plaeyrs are (I saw him in the group but none of the others I actually fought or recognized that hit me from the side were there at that particualr hs).

I like your tactics. Take one prisoner, and milk the information out of him. The weakness was not in the technique, but in the follow-through. Why did you stop with a choke? You didn't stick a dagger in his thigh and give it a twist? Or perhaps tie him up and take him prisoner? You could always stuff him into a crawl space to think about his loyalties. I like to stick a cauldron upon the bellies of my could-be informants, and trap a rat underneath. Then, I stoke a fire atop the cauldron, and pretty soon the heat gets so intense for the rat, that it seeks escape by burrowing out through the could-be informant's innards. This has never failed me yet. Even if they do not know nothing, they will insist that they do. It's a win-win scenario, my friend.


his friend didnt know anything about this apperently and started tlaking trash to me.

Oh, he knew. They always know.


The next day I waited till that time and backe dout attacking that whole gorup at once but saw that the one I choked earlier looked to be going to play baseball on pe or something. I also backe dout of fighting him there (casue IM really a pus-y) but as I was leaving something fired up inside me and I came back to challenge him to a fight.

Yes, yes, a good start. Never take on large groups unless you can get the drop on them.

I mean that literally. I mean, jumping down upon them from a rooftop with a samurai dagger in hand, and maybe a length of rope.

I liked that you backed out of fighting him, and sought some cover. I am doubly impressed that you committed so strongly to the cat calls that you were the *****. In order that you may take upon yourself the persona and trappings of the *****, you must be the *****.


Anyway it turne dout he wasnt the same guy but that same friend who was talking smack the day earlier was there.

Chalk this up to bad reconnaisance. You must know your enemy, lest he should ambush you first.


I was about to levae but he called me some names and kept giving me a dirty shety type look and smile, so I started walkign toward him and he didnt even nudge and was just as coky no matter how close I was getting.

There is no walking in ninjitsu. You should have sprinted full out, executed a forward shoulder roll, used the "Monkey Steals the Peach" technique from Grandmaster Sensei Chan Tai San's Tai Shing Pek Kwar form, "Big 6 Fist", and ripped his gonads from their perch. Afterwards, if you need info from him, you cut out his eyes, and put his testicles in his eyesockets, and his eyeballs in his scrotum. Technically, this doesn't really do anything, but it is really embarassing, for him.

Now, when you de-nad him, you must remember to look into his eyes, and utter something very chilling or ironic. I prefer ironic. For instance, in this case, I would scream: "Die, pri.ck!"

You must never forget to add insult to injury.


I hit him with a right to his gut, and it didnt evend rop him like in the movies those punches always drop them, but he took his abckpack off and wanted to fight. I threw a couple of jabs inf ront of his face to egt him to back up ro cover up and hit his hands msotly and he backed up and I left, and he kept threatening to knock me out but everytime I was about to go at him some teacher lady ro something kept blocking him from me. .

You should have killed the teacher lady, then used her as a shield as you sprinted headlong into your foe, using the momentum to take him to the ground. Then, take the dead teacher lady's hands, and place a knife in her cold, dead hands. Then, you stab him repeatedly. This way, you get the kill, and you make it look like a murder suicide. In order to pull it off, though, you must cause the teacher lady to gut herself, in ritual suicide, and prop her up on her knees.

Nobody will suspect a thing.


ANyway later in the day I recognized a girl who I remember from that dance where those high schoolers were who jumped me and fuked up my jaw. I stopped the car and went to get the guys name from here. SHe said she cant tell me form the egt go and no matter what I said she said she cant give that kind of info out.

This is when you must lay on the schmooze. Women are weak of mind, feeble-minded, if you will, and can often be enticed with little more than chatter of BMW's and yachts. If you promise to pay her cell-phone bill, you can get any information out of her that she wants. The good thing is, is that you can kill her without much trouble, and then you don't have to follow up on your promises.


I told her to tell him to watch his abck (cause I want to get him nervous and scared of me ebfore I even finally meet him). .

This was just plain stupid. Never give advance warning of your attack. A suprise attack is just no good without the surprise. It's the same principle with the surprise party.

[Mega-Foot]

That stupid girl said "you better watch out" as I was leaving. Than I remembered I had a knife in my pocket and could egt the info out of her by force,

I like what I'm hearing. Keep going....


but in my mind I was thinking if I should or not since that will only warn him to carry a knife himself sinc ehell know form her I carry one

Drat. Too much thinking. Not enough killing.


and not only could I be facing the multiple opponent disadvantage again but with weapons too, also I could be charged with a cirme against her. So I just stood still and thought to myself what to do for a minute.

You'll only get charged if you leave evidence. If you do to her what you did with the teacher lady, and set the scene for a run-of-the-mill seppuku disembowelment, the authorities will rule out foul play. They'll say: looks like another depressed teen.


Out of the blue a car rolls up and three people start coming out and I recognize one of them as the kid whose gut I hit earlier and didnt even seem fazed by (dont know if its adrenaline or just that I suck or the movies arent relaistic). I knew than that I dont want to be there against 3 people and in the middle of a crowded street like that and pulled my knife out

I like what I'm hearing. Keep going....


hoping it would scare them off telling them to leave me alone and get the hel out of here. They didnt even seem scared of the knife and kept coming at me. Their dad whow as the third person there got in the car and said hed be following me. I really didnt want to stab anyone

Drat. You must want to stab people to stab them. It rarely happens by accident. Why are you even carrying a knife? Is it the stabbing that scares you, or do you just not like the technique? If you don't like stabbing, I recommend toting a sword, and doing some slashing.


so I put it in my pocket but than i realized I have a hole in my pocket and it fell.

I have holes in the pockets of most of my pants. It makes it easy to retrieve things that I've strapped to my thigh.


One of them grabbed the knife and started threatening me back with it. The same one whose gut I hit ealrier in the gut came at me first and I hit him with a right straight on his fac eperfectly, than I suprised myself again and hti the toher one who came at me with a jab.

NO! NO! NO! According to the Kata Dan-te, after the strike to the face, we rake down and rip off the ears! Sloppy technique! There's no excuse!

For shame!


Than I satretd bolting out of there and unliek earlier they didnt seem to eprsue me (I think due to getting hit everytime they tried getting close to me) btu clale dme a coward instead (for being outnumbered I guess makes me a coward). Than I hit behind some hsoue for awhile and remembered I parked my car there where we fought essentially.

I like what I'm hearing. Did you remember the cat calls?


(not I realize when I had this momentum I should have continued the offense and layed one of them down witha continues furray of punches but than again the dad would have came out than probably).

I thought that they would be gone by than so I started walking back

You vacated the shrubbery? See? Being a ninja isn't so easy, is it?

You lack discipline.


and all of a sudden found out they were parked right next to my car (I hope they didnt recongize this and I aint gonna egt a visit from the cops tommorow or they wont check for fingerprints on the knife but than again i was attacked and only used the knife to bait thema way form me as I even put it back in my pocket).

You must destroy the car. It is now damaged goods, and compromises your identity.


Than the dad comes out alone (I guess they were too scared to come oupt with him and ahd enough by than). And I ddint even want to fight him, yet he grabs my arms and punches me in the face.

He shouldn't be able to even hit you. Your reflexes should be finely tuned.

Here is a master. Look 1:30 into the clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXm8MFUMFyQ

Again, I must stress Kata Dan-te, step 1. Look at 2:18 in that same clip.

Now, once you've killed the *******, you must drag him into a toolshed. Proper technique is show in this same clip at 2:40.

If you just want to get away, use a cloud of dust from a dust bomb, shown with expert handling at 1:12 in that same clip. Make sure you follow it up with the deadly poison-foot side thrust kick, not the garden variety.





A shot in the daaaark. Ooone step, awaaay from you. A shot in the daaaark. Always creeeeping up on you.....


I respond by trying to box back but he clinches right away (I geuss they told him I have boxing skills or something), and everytime i break he tries clinching again and ends up hitting me in the nuts once with a kick from a clinch). I start running out of there and thinking either the cops or those kids will make it ugly for me and it aint worth fighting him.

I like what I'm hearing. Tell me you dropped the caltrops....


But he keeps following, I turn around and start fighting him but he keeps clinching.

DRAT! DOUBLE DRAT! WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING, YOU FOOL! YOU MUST VANISH!!!!!!

(look at :57 in that same clip)


I know I got at least one good roundhouse kick to his body in though but it didnt seem to affect him or his adrenaline.

You aren't using the posion foot kick, are you? Do you ever listen?


Smoe lady there kept telling hi to leave me alone and I jolted out of there.

You should have killed this lady and used her body as a human shield, and repeated the sequence I prescribed for the teacher lady. Problem solved. But perhaps this is asking too much of you?


As I was walking home not far form where I live there is a crummy house that I ahrdly see anyone come out of and I hear a voice "DO you think they found him yet" and it sounds exactly like one of those kids (the one I hit in the gut). And I turn around right there and find a place ot hide.

Finally, a good place to start. Did you start making cat calls? Actually...wait one second. You should have starting singing drunkenly, like a bum might do in an abandoned house. Surely curiousity would have gotten the better of them, and you could get the drop on them.

I mean that literally, by jumping down on them from the second story or the rooftop, if it was indeed a two-story house.


So now I find out msot likely they are almsot my neighboors from a cross street away from me and I almost inevitably will have to fight all 3 of them again.

This is when you must begin killing them one-by-one, using the "drunken bum" technique. Keep to the rooftops, and use the grapnel sparingly. Now lets see who thinks we look foolish, carrying around our length of rope!

I shall finish my reply and advice, as soon as I run the gauntlet 6 more times.


Until we meet again,

Sifu John Takeshi,

8th Dan Tai Shing Pek Kwar of Grandmaster Sensei Chan Tai San lineage
8th Dan Shao-lin Ninjitsu

[golden arhat]

this guy is officially my new hero



best troll fu EVER

[Mega-Foot]

Well, I absolutely annihilated that gauntlet. I set a record on the third running. BUt for some reason, the razor-wire thermoban keeps getting me. I've cleared it a gazillion times, but only lately has it been able to cut me. Strange. I must be losing my techniqe, posting on here so much.


Im ****ed off I ran when i got the dad one on one but I didnt do very good as je pet clinching and was mroe agressive (I was already on defense mode).

Never defend. Always kill.


Also it didnt help he said the cops are alreadyc oming than when i replied "YOu 3 were the ones who attacked me". That lady even saw this (I was retreating and he attacking). and he tried lying to her that I pulled a knife out on them (when i only did it after they started attacking me and put it right back not long after).

I don't understand why you haven't killed them yet? They're conspiring against you, and you don't even slit a throat? Not even one?


WHat I should have done is used my footwork to keept fistance and kick his legs or gut, or throw some body punches isntead of just going for the head and getting lcinched (he was fat and heavy so it was ahrd getting out of the clinch with him).

At this point, you needn't think anymore. You should have sprinted at him from across the yard, and thrown a missile dropkick square in his face. If he's fat, and he's grabbing you, throw your voice and imitate a cat call. If it's successful, he'll stop what he's doing, and start walking towards the bushes to see what's causing the ruckus. He won't be able to resist the urge.


Oh and the reason I hit that kid int he gut besides his ****yness and him disrespecting me the daye arlier by protecting that other guy and calling me names inf ront of all fo them and trying to make me look weak, was that I wanted to prove a point to that main group that attacke dme and messed my cheek up.

I feel like I've been duped. And here, I thought you wanted to get bloody vengeance, while the bruise was still fresh upon thy cheek.


I wanted to prove I will go through anyone to get them and leave them in my path kind of like the mongols did in the ghenghis khan era.

Those were good times.


If I left and didnt do anything it would show weakness and they would know Im not real and they can get away with just attacking me or anyone else like that and hruiting them and not suffer any consequences.

Well, I don't think you achieved your goal. Not only did you not kill a single one of them, but their dad kicked your behind, too. And now that he's conspiring with the old lady, the cops are on your trail. There is only one thing for a ninja to do, when placed in this kind of situation. You have been dishonored. You have failed in your objectives.

You must kneel upon the ground, stab yourself in the stomach with your samurai dagger, rip the wound across from hip-to-hip, let spill your intestines, and die with what honor you can salvage from this botched-up revenge trip.

It was nice knowing you kid.

Let this be a lesson to all: you cannot become a ninja. You cannot stumble onto the way.

You must be born a ninja.


Peace be with your restless soul, JetLisFearless.

If any of you have any liquor or sake on hand, please pour some out for our fallen comrade.

Regretfully,

John Takeshi,

8th Dan Tai Shing Pek Kwar of Grandmaster Sensei Chan Tai San lineage
8th Dan Shao-lin Ninjitsu

[cjurakpt]

this guy is officially my new hero



best troll fu EVER

sad to say, I have to agree - after this last paen of his, he catapulted himself up to the top of the heap

replace eyeballs for testicles and vice versa, indeed! this is inspired!

[golden arhat]

sad to say, I have to agree - after this last paen of his, he catapulted himself up to the top of the heap

replace eyeballs for testicles and vice versa, indeed! this is inspired!

actually thats from tenacious d and the pick of destiny

or is that where they got it from ?

[JetLi'sFearless]

Ok to get back to the story, first off the house near my neighboorhood doesnt have those 3 that attacked me including the dad, cause I went there and knocked on the door and was ready to challenge all 3 of them. Secondly I went to a farmers market last Thursday and ran into the whole crew including the kid I choked. The way it happened was the day before that I was at the park and saw him and two other kids walk in front of me and followed them, and they stopped and asked me if I got a problem or something, and I said no and wlaked forward a bit. I noticed theys topped still and I jsut stood on the other side of the street and waited for them to go to a side street with no people around and cars driving by. They didnt though and jsut kept standing. So I walekd forward a bit and one of them asked me if I choked him to which I replied that he attacked me. Than I heard him tlaking to the other one saying something like "he thinks i jumped him but I left already" or "I wasnt there" to which I just decided to elt it go since I cant prove he actually was in that crew outside the dance who jumped me although he hangs out with them and was there, and asked him if he swears to god he didnt participate in my beating before leaving.

At the amrket in town the next day I saw him walk by and I thought it was behind us now and kinda nodded to him with a hand but he ignored it and kind of disrespected me. I noticed he was with this other guy who I knew form playing b ball and I felt weird going against him since we were cool previously. ANyway I went to taco bell after awhile and they (3 of them including the guy I knew0 followed me in. I turned around and noticed the guy I knew and said hey and he was like "whats up man" and gave me a high five, and asked the other guy "is this the guy you were telling me about" to which he rpelied "yea" and I just said "hey man I got you confused with someonje else sorry about that" and he was like "oh alright" and gave him a high five and they left.

I thought the day was over but all behold after awhile I saw the main guy who was the shet tlaker and eprpetrator fo the icnident who also was the first to sucker punch me during that fight. I walked right up to him and I ntoiced all the people around him where in his crew including these two black guys voer 6 foot tall so I abcked out of attacking him and just confronted him about it. i told him "hey I rexcognize you, your the one who attacked me alst week arent you with your homies?" and he just started backing out and saying "your tripping man, this foo is tripping" than I said "Do you want me to egt the cops voer here" to scare those other homies of his from gang baning on me again, since now its in public.

Anyway I than offered for him and me to go one on one on a side street and the big black dudes wanted to fight for him again and fight me, while he didnt really respond or hid behind them. Infact one of them was talking trash tome saying even their sister could beat me up. I started wlaking with one of those black dudes to a dark alley but noticed the whole crew is following suit and went back into public saying "naw I aint playing this way again." One kid amidtted he was there and aprticipated in my ebating saying he did it cause I was choking that black guy who was fighting me first. I replied to this saying I wasnt gonnna killhim and what you did was weak. He claimed cause if it was just swinging they wouldnt itnerfere but me choking him standing up was what casued it. I didnt buy it. Than just started leaving.

than I saw like 5 of them startint to follow me, I turned around after awhile and one of them asked if Im the one who choked his cousin. I replied at first that I apologised but than right away he asked again if that was me and I just replied yea. Than he said elts go were gonna go one on one and I said "follow me" than noticed the rest of his friends are following suit including that one who admitted toa participating in my ebating who I got later today which Ill explain. I quickly lost them and went in to a bar (theyre nto old enought o go in one).

Later I went to my car for my weapons (knife and wrench that I put in my pockets) and planned to lure a few of them at a time to a side street and attack them with those weapons. I went back and they werent following my bait and staying away form me for some reaosn as I tried to get them to see me and wlak away having them pursue which they didnt.

ANyway I went back tot he dance a few days later since its held once a week and there was the same crew that was there the first time who I tried helping out this time they showed up with a bunch of people ready to fight saying they came just to fight. One of them was apperently a norteno as well. None of them showed but that little girlfriend of that main one who I first mentioned had his number and one of the guys that I tried helping out was tlaking to him and apperently its on next week (the end of the current week right now) cause they were at some party. They even bragged to him that they got one of us (me).

Anyway I found out his name from others there that hated him and found out how he made so many allies than. Apperently after engaging in an argument with that guy who I was helping out who just tlaked to him on the clell phone, he started shaking the hands of everyone there asking if theyre down with him and hsi crew.

ANyway I found his name and the anme fo the school he goes and today went to what I thought was that schol. It turned out to be a different school but I saw the other guy there (with none of the same crew) who was one of the ones who followed me at the market trying to again gang bang on me and whoa dmitted he was part of the original crew who attacked me saying they did it cause i was chjoking the other dude.

I first backed out of attacking him, but waited till he wasnt tlaking to anyone and away form themain office there and the empty cop car parked in front of the shcool. I went up to him and confronted him about it and he at first claimed he didnt kick me when I was down and asked if I pulled a knife on one of them, cause he said one of them said that. I was confused cause I only pulled a knife on that one kid witht he dad who isnt even part of the crew but friends with one of the members of the crew and didnt think of him at the time, but I remembered that I played baskebtall again witht he guy I knew from earlier I mentioned and had a knife in my pocket during the game he might have noticed.

ANyway i denied it and asked him if he still got a problem with me to whcih he said noa s long as I dont choke any of his friends. I askedif he was just stanidng there and not doing anything since he denied kicking me when I fell, to which he staretd getting smart with me and said "no I ddint just stand there" at that instant I threw a punch at his face and started elbowing his face until he fell. The tough little fuk got up right away and satrted swinging and hit me twice as I think I hit him once with a right. I than clinched him and started kneeying him over his body but the little prik still kept fighting. I noticed the fight is going on too long and at any second the cop from that empty copc ar in front of the school or some parents/teachers/etc. could get involved and split, as I started walking and running away form the scene he said "cheap shot" or something and I replied "thats for cheap shotting me now were even" and got away. Anyway I noticed he had a bunch fo red marks or scratches on his face probably form my elbow and my elbow still hurts, tis like I almsot broke it on his face lol beating him so hard. He kept fighting though, I was expecting him to keep laying on the gorund after I decked him.

[JetLi'sFearless]

Anyway now I dont know if I should go to that dance and participate in that planned brawl or back out since theyre all gonna be gunnning for me now and think I carry a knife (so will probably themselves be strapped), on top of it this could lead to arrests and me being older than them and attacking minors could look bad if cops get involved or the staff at that dance. Plus I dont know if those guys wont back out and it will be me getting jumped again.

[JetLi'sFearless]

Im really surprised how good some of those kids can fight and how determied they can be, that kid had more fight in him than many adults I fought before and actually gave me a minor bruise.

[DarkTiger]

WTF? How the hell do you gang bang on someone without gangsters?:confused:



Oh wait I get it, break the law and do something stupid like post about it on KFO

[JetLi'sFearless]

by gang bang I mean beat the crap out of someone in a gang style attack.

[D-FENS]

ANyway i denied it and asked him if he still got a problem with me to whcih he said noa s long as I dont choke any of his friends. I askedif he was just stanidng there and not doing anything since he denied kicking me when I fell, to which he staretd getting smart with me and said "no I ddint just stand there" at that instant I threw a punch at his face and started elbowing his face until he fell.


I love stories with a happy ending.

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

On Mega Foot:

OMG, we finally have a Troll that might take Ralek's Crown!!

[Vilmore]

He's a man on a mission, our Kung Fu Hero.

[jethro]

Can I get a brief description of the newest weird post? There is no way I could read all that, I won't even attempt it.

[PangQuan]

he went to some school to try and find dude.

found diff dude. punched and elbowed him in the face till he went down, then ran away cause he thought the cops were gonna show up.

[cjurakpt]

he went to some school to try and find dude.

found diff dude. punched and elbowed him in the face till he went down, then ran away cause he thought the cops were gonna show up.

can I sub-contract you out to provide condensed versions of his posts from now on? it's just too painful to read them through - I feel like i;m watching an episode of Cops on a fuzzy black & white TV...

[PangQuan]

sure no prob.

i actually get a good kick out a reading this guys stuff.

ill try and leave a lil post after each post he leaves.

lol

[JetLi'sFearless]

he went to some school to try and find dude.

found diff dude. punched and elbowed him in the face till he went down, then ran away cause he thought the cops were gonna show up.

No actually I elbowed and punched a dude that was one of the main 3 I was gonna egt form the get go cause the other two I saw there assaulting me (one was the one I fought the other attacked me form the side and started the whole incident) and this dude admitted to being there and cheapshotting me, I gave him a way out and he decided tot ry and tough talk instead of saying he didnt attack me.

[Mega-Foot]

Ahhhh....the plot thickens.

Perhaps the recommendation for seppuku was a tad hasty. I thought you had relinquished your quest.

There will be blood spilled before the next full moon.

I shall give you further instruction within the next two days.

None shall know the day nor the hour, but it shall come.

I glory at the bloody satisfaction to be had!

[JetLi'sFearless]

I still kinda feel weak though i got away from there when he was still standing and wanted more, instead of decking him again or making sure hes down before leaving, I jsut felt there was a crowd forming and soon somebody will get involved and I would be arrested or something. Anyway Im stilldeciding whether to show up on friday at the danc eor not where the brawl is tot ake place.

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

You did what any good ninja would do, you struck hard, and vanished without a trace. The only thing missing was a smoke bomb.

[golden arhat]

can I sub-contract you out to provide condensed versions of his posts from now on? it's just too painful to read them through - I feel like i;m watching an episode of Cops on a fuzzy black & white TV...

truer words have never been spoken

[golden arhat]

Ok to get back to the story, first off the house near my neighboorhood doesnt have those 3 that attacked me including the dad, cause I went there and knocked on the door and was ready to challenge all 3 of them. Secondly I went to a farmers market last Thursday and ran into the whole crew including the kid I choked. The way it happened was the day before that I was at the park and saw him and two other kids walk in front of me and followed them, and they stopped and asked me if I got a problem or something, and I said no and wlaked forward a bit. I noticed theys topped still and I jsut stood on the other side of the street and waited for them to go to a side street with no people around and cars driving by. They didnt though and jsut kept standing. So I walekd forward a bit and one of them asked me if I choked him to which I replied that he attacked me. Than I heard him tlaking to the other one saying something like "he thinks i jumped him but I left already" or "I wasnt there" to which I just decided to elt it go since I cant prove he actually was in that crew outside the dance who jumped me although he hangs out with them and was there, and asked him if he swears to god he didnt participate in my beating before leaving.

At the amrket in town the next day I saw him walk by and I thought it was behind us now and kinda nodded to him with a hand but he ignored it and kind of disrespected me. I noticed he was with this other guy who I knew form playing b ball and I felt weird going against him since we were cool previously. ANyway I went to taco bell after awhile and they (3 of them including the guy I knew0 followed me in. I turned around and noticed the guy I knew and said hey and he was like "whats up man" and gave me a high five, and asked the other guy "is this the guy you were telling me about" to which he rpelied "yea" and I just said "hey man I got you confused with someonje else sorry about that" and he was like "oh alright" and gave him a high five and they left.

I thought the day was over but all behold after awhile I saw the main guy who was the shet tlaker and eprpetrator fo the icnident who also was the first to sucker punch me during that fight. I walked right up to him and I ntoiced all the people around him where in his crew including these two black guys voer 6 foot tall so I abcked out of attacking him and just confronted him about it. i told him "hey I rexcognize you, your the one who attacked me alst week arent you with your homies?" and he just started backing out and saying "your tripping man, this foo is tripping" than I said "Do you want me to egt the cops voer here" to scare those other homies of his from gang baning on me again, since now its in public.

Anyway I than offered for him and me to go one on one on a side street and the big black dudes wanted to fight for him again and fight me, while he didnt really respond or hid behind them. Infact one of them was talking trash tome saying even their sister could beat me up. I started wlaking with one of those black dudes to a dark alley but noticed the whole crew is following suit and went back into public saying "naw I aint playing this way again." One kid amidtted he was there and aprticipated in my ebating saying he did it cause I was choking that black guy who was fighting me first. I replied to this saying I wasnt gonnna killhim and what you did was weak. He claimed cause if it was just swinging they wouldnt itnerfere but me choking him standing up was what casued it. I didnt buy it. Than just started leaving.

than I saw like 5 of them startint to follow me, I turned around after awhile and one of them asked if Im the one who choked his cousin. I replied at first that I apologised but than right away he asked again if that was me and I just replied yea. Than he said elts go were gonna go one on one and I said "follow me" than noticed the rest of his friends are following suit including that one who admitted toa participating in my ebating who I got later today which Ill explain. I quickly lost them and went in to a bar (theyre nto old enought o go in one).

Later I went to my car for my weapons (knife and wrench that I put in my pockets) and planned to lure a few of them at a time to a side street and attack them with those weapons. I went back and they werent following my bait and staying away form me for some reaosn as I tried to get them to see me and wlak away having them pursue which they didnt.

ANyway I went back tot he dance a few days later since its held once a week and there was the same crew that was there the first time who I tried helping out this time they showed up with a bunch of people ready to fight saying they came just to fight. One of them was apperently a norteno as well. None of them showed but that little girlfriend of that main one who I first mentioned had his number and one of the guys that I tried helping out was tlaking to him and apperently its on next week (the end of the current week right now) cause they were at some party. They even bragged to him that they got one of us (me).

Anyway I found out his name from others there that hated him and found out how he made so many allies than. Apperently after engaging in an argument with that guy who I was helping out who just tlaked to him on the clell phone, he started shaking the hands of everyone there asking if theyre down with him and hsi crew.

ANyway I found his name and the anme fo the school he goes and today went to what I thought was that schol. It turned out to be a different school but I saw the other guy there (with none of the same crew) who was one of the ones who followed me at the market trying to again gang bang on me and whoa dmitted he was part of the original crew who attacked me saying they did it cause i was chjoking the other dude.

I first backed out of attacking him, but waited till he wasnt tlaking to anyone and away form themain office there and the empty cop car parked in front of the shcool. I went up to him and confronted him about it and he at first claimed he didnt kick me when I was down and asked if I pulled a knife on one of them, cause he said one of them said that. I was confused cause I only pulled a knife on that one kid witht he dad who isnt even part of the crew but friends with one of the members of the crew and didnt think of him at the time, but I remembered that I played baskebtall again witht he guy I knew from earlier I mentioned and had a knife in my pocket during the game he might have noticed.

ANyway i denied it and asked him if he still got a problem with me to whcih he said noa s long as I dont choke any of his friends. I askedif he was just stanidng there and not doing anything since he denied kicking me when I fell, to which he staretd getting smart with me and said "no I ddint just stand there" at that instant I threw a punch at his face and started elbowing his face until he fell. The tough little fuk got up right away and satrted swinging and hit me twice as I think I hit him once with a right. I than clinched him and started kneeying him over his body but the little prik still kept fighting. I noticed the fight is going on too long and at any second the cop from that empty copc ar in front of the school or some parents/teachers/etc. could get involved and split, as I started walking and running away form the scene he said "cheap shot" or something and I replied "thats for cheap shotting me now were even" and got away. Anyway I noticed he had a bunch fo red marks or scratches on his face probably form my elbow and my elbow still hurts, tis like I almsot broke it on his face lol beating him so hard. He kept fighting though, I was expecting him to keep laying on the gorund after I decked him.

dear god make this guy stop talking

[bodhitree]

dear god make this guy stop talking


I actually find it amusing.

[qiphlow]

in movies when a guy htis the other in the gut even if he doesnt even use his shoulder pwoer and turn with the punch and just throws an arm punch, the guy who hits the other guy always drops him. WHen I did a [proper sucker straight right to the guys gut, and another time kneed him there while grabbing his neck with my opposite arm and his arm he just started fighting me. Why wont they drop when i hit them there? is it casue IM not hitting them in the solar plex but too low? or is it that the adrenaline they have makes them not feel it? Heck even zidane dropped a guy to the ground with a headbutt to the chest and I cant even do it with a perfect right to a freshman-sophmore )possibly junior but i doubt it) high school kid for some reason.

obviously you hit like a girl.

[PangQuan]

obviously you hit like a girl.

rofl

if you can read this you are trying too hard

[jethro]

he went to some school to try and find dude.

found diff dude. punched and elbowed him in the face till he went down, then ran away cause he thought the cops were gonna show up.



Thanks for the info Pangquan, it sure beats trying to make sense out of this.


No actually I elbowed and punched a dude that was one of the main 3 I was gonna egt form the get go cause the other two I saw there assaulting me (one was the one I fought the other attacked me form the side and started the whole incident) and this dude admitted to being there and cheapshotting me, I gave him a way out and he decided tot ry and tough talk instead of saying he didnt attack me.

[PangQuan]

Thanks for the info Pangquan, it sure beats trying to make sense out of this.

rofl

no prob, gotta do something with my downtime at work :cool:

[cjurakpt]

rofl

no prob, gotta do something with my downtime at work :cool:

and they say that the country's in an economic slowdown...

[PangQuan]

and they say that the country's in an economic slowdown...


lol and i work at a bank!

[cjurakpt]

Any kind of shrubbery makes a fantastic cover, from which to spring an ambush.

I would respectfully beg to differ; as the following clip points out, bushes are subject to certain significant limitations as a place from which to stalk an adversary...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bxw0T2rv7s

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

Hmm, I think the lessons here are

One, don't stand up.

Two, if there is only ONE bush, they will know where you are anyway.

Three, if there are THREE bushes, you have condemmed them all to die

and finally Four, don't rat out your nightbors!!

[JetLi'sFearless]

you know whats crazy. I was watching the warriors game where baron davis elbows lightly derric fisher and fisher falls to the ground all in pain and holding his head. This reminded me how I hit multiple times in the face that kid with an elbow (it even hrut after wards I hit him so hard) eyt the kid got up right away and kept figthiting and it didnt even phase him, its either me or I keep running into the toughest people in the world or something. WHy cant I beat somebody up once in my life instead of them putting up a great fight and turning it into a stalemate or me getting beat up?

[bodhitree]

better spelling = better fighting

[Mega-Foot]

After a recently botched-up affair where my identity was nearly comprimised (thank god I was still wearing my ninja-mask, even if it was the only thing I was wearing) on a mission--as my lady-on-the-side's husband walked into my mistress's bedroom and caught us executing a glorious Reverse Italian Hanger,--I was reminded shortly of the situation which involved a young and irascible young man; namely, JetlisFearless.

I was wondering what had lately transpired in his capers, and decided to revisit an old thread with an old friend. Before we begin, let us train our minds for this next endeavor of such utterly cosmic gravity.

Quoth the Bard, from memory (which should give you a vague idea of how cultured and civilized I am):

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like a snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like a furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.



Ok to get back to the story, first off the house near my neighboorhood doesnt have those 3 that attacked me including the dad, cause I went there and knocked on the door and was ready to challenge all 3 of them.

What I like to do is actually a variation of the classical poo-in-the-bag-which-you-light-on-fire-and-watch-them-stomp-it-out-and-get-poo-on-their-shoes-after-you-ring-their-doorbell trick (or, the PITBWYLOFAWTSIOAGPOTSAYRTDT, if you have a hankering for acronyms).

First, I like to leave a bucket of gasoline or lighter fluid next to the target's front door, in plain view. I then steal into the house at night and rouse one of the "dad's" children from their sleep (usually the eldest son). I stuff a gag into his mouth and hogtie him like I used to rope up stray cattle in my cowboying days on Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno's Cattle Ranching High Adventure Tour in Oklahoma. Anyways, I then dangle the child out of an upper story window, light him on fire, but not completely. The tail of his jerkin or the hems of his pantaloons will suffice. If you don't want to kill (and I won't kill a child under the age of 12 and 1/2, under any circumstances (unless he looks at me crossly), due to ethical reasons and devout Christian piety), you can smother him with tar. Anyways, you then steal back out of the house and ring the doorbell, and watch the father open the door and panic. He'll see his son on fire, and think: "hey, here's a bucket of water with which I will extinguish the perilous flames and rescue my poor son from this predicament!" Only, the bucket, as earlier stated, is filled with gasoline or lighter fluid, and will in fact make the flames burn with greater intensity and spread the carnage to encompass his entire body. I'll then laugh and watch the father scream in horror, bemoaning his poor son's fate, crying out: "Why God? What have I done? Why have I done this? Why have you done this? God ****, you, God!"

Not only have I gotten my revenge, but I've secured eternal perdition for his wayward soul in the process.

Note: if he doesn't have a son, try substituting a dog, cat, hamster, or pet turtle for the child. I tell you this: a flaming turtle can be a very frightening thing. Remember, practice makes perfect. If the dad wants for sons and turtles, I find that a nice leather Laz-E-Boy works well, sometimes even a futon or a couch. If he has a big screen HDTV---you know what to do.;);) That's right: steal it and the ubiquitous blue-ray DVD player, and leave in their place a UHF-only frequency TV, knob-or-dial channel changer only, hooked up to a dusty BETA-MAX player.

You'll have to wait until morning to watch him throw open the front door, crying out: "Why God? What have I done? Why have I done this? Why have you done this? God ****, you, God!"

But either way, you get your revenge, and destroy the thing that he loves most. Plus, you get a free HDTV, and get rid of those blasted BETA-MAX players that you stockpiled in yesteryear's missions, which have been cluttering up your attic, or rental storage space. It's win-win.

(note: if you decide to spare the child's life, and use tar, fill the bucket with feathers. It will not lead to such a dire and utterly comical spectacle, but it will give you a self-congratulatory chuckle, mate).



Secondly I went to a farmers market last Thursday and ran into the whole crew including the kid I choked.

Bloody farmer's markets. A veritable den of thieves. Fresh green tomatoes, my arse. They've flooded the market with produce and profit, and created an environment predicated on thuggery and vindictive territorial bloodshed, not unlike the Bloods and Crips at my front door. Many's the infidel I've tracked to those rackateering mob-fronts. Ha! And they say the mafia is dead....

[Mega-Foot]

The way it happened was the day before that I was at the park and saw him and two other kids walk in front of me and followed them, and they stopped and asked me if I got a problem or something, and I said no and wlaked forward a bit.

Did you not use stealth? You know: barrel rolls, aerials, flips, and leaping pirouette splits? If you have a Master's degree, I feel I can help. If not....just go rent Bloodsport and the American Ninja series.



I noticed theys topped still and I jsut stood on the other side of the street and waited for them to go to a side street with no people around and cars driving by.

I like what I'm hearing.....keep going.....



They didnt though and jsut kept standing. So I walekd forward a bit and one of them asked me if I choked him to which I replied that he attacked me.

Um, the first rule of ninjitsu, the one I teach before I teach any physical technique, involves role playing. I'll describe it using players A and B:

Player A: Hey, don't I know you?
Player B: I don't think so.
Player A: No, I'm pretty sure I know you. Aren't you the guy that choked me the
other day at such-and-such time?
Player B: Nope. I was making sweet love to (insert your floozie's name here) at
(the time specified by Player A). It was good. She was pleased, and
afterwards we ate lemon creme pies and drank some Sunny-D.


See? A believable alibi is your best friend.

Invariably, this is one of the hardest things to teach. I always have that knucklehead novice walking through my door, fresh from his Master's Degree reciept from an Ivy League University, thinking he knows everything about the ways of the world:

Player A (me): Hey, don't I know you?
Player B (Master's Degree knucklehead): Yeah, we met the other day.
Player A: Aren't you the guy that choked me the other day?
Player B: Yup, that was me, alright.

And then I kill him (in practice, rarely in reality unless I forget to substitute the rubber knife for my lucky butterfly swords).

What you've come up with is a scenario I often see when I open up my classes to non-Master's Degree recipients during my troubled teen seminars in the month of July.

Player A (me, again): Hey, don't I know you?
Player B (troubled teen): I'm not sure.
Player A: Didn't you put me in a chokehold the other day?
Player B: You attacked me first, though.

Then I kill him and his entire family. Sometimes I'll kill the dog, too. I hate bloody dogs.

See, you've violated one of the fundamental tenets of Ninpo and Ninjitsu. Never confirm or deny your identity! I put that in red, because it's about as important as anything Jesus ever said. Ironically, it was the very thing that led to his downfall, so it might be even more important. When Judas and the Pharisees showed up to arrest the Christ-Man (as I like to call him, because he reminds me of an X-Men character), and asked him if he was Jesus, it played out terribly, kind of like this:

Player A (the Pharisee): Hey, aren't you that Jesus dude?
Player B (Judas): Yup. That's that mutha****a right 'dere!
Player C (Jesus): I cannot tell a lie. It is I. The Christ-Man. Regard, if you will, the lillies of the field.....
Player A: No thanks. We're busy. Hey.....arent' you the one that claimed to be
the King of the Jews?
Player B: Yup. That's that mutha****a right 'dere!
Player C: I cannot tell a lie. That was I. The Christ-Man. You see, blessed is he who.....
Player A: That's nice. Guards! Sieze him!

And then they arrested him, put him in a chokehold, and then history poked fun at him as a stupid, ignorant person, in a oft-comical caricature that even a pious Christian like myself is prone to giggle at from time-to-time, most recently in that hilarious Mel Gibson movie: The PAssion of the Christ......classic comedy........

Anyways, I digress. The way Christ should have played it was like this:

Player A (the Pharisees): Hey, aren't you that Jesus dude?
Player B (Judas): Yup. That's that muthafuca right 'dere!
Player C (Jesus): What if I am? So what? Who the **** are you?
Player A :We're the law, knave, and we're gonna lay the smackdown on
that Jesus dude for saying he's the king, and stuff.
Player C: Oh. You mean that Jesus. 'dere he go right 'dere (he says,
pointing at Thomas over in the corner, picking his nose.)



Than I heard him tlaking to the other one saying something like "he thinks i jumped him but I left already" or "I wasnt there"

Wait as second! Choose your words very, very carefully. Are you suggesting that this young scamp can time travel? Do you know how he does it? What does he wear, and does he have an accent? He attacked you, but left before he did so? This is amazing. I've heard of it's like in ninjitsu myth, but it's been locked up and sealed up tight in the mysterious grave-caves of the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clans for generations, in encoded invisible-ink scrolls, the location of which only Basho himself would know. Could it be that the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clan has their hands in this affair? Blast....I knew they would be back! Danger lurks at your front door! Tread carefully, mate!



to which I just decided to elt it go since I cant prove he actually was in that crew outside the dance who jumped me although he hangs out with them and was there, and asked him if he swears to god he didnt participate in my beating before leaving.

Whaaaat? Oh. Well, okay. As long as he swore to god. Although, if it is the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clan......they're atheists, and wouldn't hesitate to desecrate and defy god on high in a trice.



At the amrket in town the next day I saw him walk by and I thought it was behind us now and kinda nodded to him with a hand but he ignored it and kind of disrespected me. I noticed he was with this other guy who I knew form playing b ball and I felt weird going against him since we were cool previously.

Ninjas don't have friends. They aren't cool with anyone. They're just cool, in general.



ANyway I went to taco bell after awhile

I can't believe I once suggested you were a coward. Wow, you are brave, mate.



and they (3 of them including the guy I knew0 followed me in. I turned around and noticed the guy I knew and said hey and he was like "whats up man" and gave me a high five,

Holy ****! It is the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clan! The "what's up man?" and the high-five are trademark traits of traditional, ritual declarations of Kogo-ryu warfare. Stop what you're doing! Where are you? Do you have a Master's Degree? If you do, I can come and help you!!!!!

JetlisFearless! Time is of the essence! Speak to me man!



and asked the other guy "is this the guy you were telling me about" to which he rpelied "yea" and I just said "hey man I got you confused with someonje else sorry about that" and he was like "oh alright" and gave him a high five and they left.

Whoa. Two high-fives? Okay, you're in the free and clear. When Kogo-ryu ninjas give a second high-five, it negates the first one. Disaster narrowly avoided. I just hope you didn't mean what you said. Or didn't you learn anything from our role-playing exercises above?

I must go, for now, but I will be back. I must go inform Grandmaster Sensei Ukeno that the Kogo-ryu clan is back, if he doesn't know this already.

Double drat! Kogo-ryu scum! Fie! Fie!

I mean: "Die! Die!":o

[Mega-Foot]

Okay. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do this, but I'm going to let Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno post for me on several of these posts. The recent re-emergence of the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clan has him pretty preoccupied. For the sake of accuracy in obtaining information on this subject, I will translate for him directly, since you barely speak English yourself, and will post any of his concerns in red, such as anything he says is about as important as anything Jesus ever said, if not more so:

I welcome. Very good here be. Did poot you just, young Takeshi? Och....bad smell, you eat spicy flan again? Stinky beans! Oh, okay, you right, focus, we read.




I thought the day was over but all behold after awhile I saw the main guy who was the shet tlaker and eprpetrator fo the icnident who also was the first to sucker punch me during that fight.

What is shet tlaker? Is it weapon? Is it stinky flan?

I'm sorry. I didn't know how to translate "shet tlaker". I assumed it was slang, like for "machete breaker", or maybe a title of respect, since this "main guy" is also the "eprpetrator", the most deadly and honorable title of honor in the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu Clan.

Grandmaster, he is. What's this? I eat.

Drat! Grandmaster Sensei just ate the letter "" on my -eyboard. I'm going to have to go put him bac- to bed. This just isn't wor-ing. I'll be bac- in a moment.

[Mega-Foot]

Okay. I'm back. Man, he just eats technology. I don't understand it. Luckily, he just vomited up the "K" and I'm glad to say I can spell "Kangaroo" again without having any impediment, such as grammar is next to godliness.

I love the man to death, or close to it, but I swear sometimes I just don't understand his love of ingesting technology.

I'll be back in a moment, once I compose myself.

[Mega-Foot]

Well, with no further adieu...let's get on our merry way:



I walked right up to him and I ntoiced all the people around him where in his crew including these two black guys voer 6 foot tall so I abcked out of attacking him and just confronted him about it.

Black guys? Hold on a second, mate. You never said anything about any black guys.

I say, cut your losses. An alliance between the Kogo-ryu ninjas and the blacks can only spell out one thing:

Total World Domination.









Okay, maybe we ought to continue, despite the fact we can't possibly hope to win against such odds. I will not be dominated!



i told him "hey I rexcognize you, your the one who attacked me alst week arent you with your homies?"

The last time I called a black guy "homie", he stuffed me into a dumpster. I got my revenge, sure. But I still can't get that mysterious stain out of the seat of my sneaking tights, and even Extra Strength Tide can't hide that smell that permeates the carefully stitched nylon threads. Grandmaster Sensei keeps forgetting this, and he always thinks I've pooted. It's really annoying.



and he just started backing out and saying "your tripping man, this foo is tripping" than I said "Do you want me to egt the cops voer here" to scare those other homies of his from gang baning on me again, since now its in public.

I feel for you. I really do. I have a mate from Iga who got gang banged when he walked into hte wrong hood and they ran a train on him. He tried to get hte police involved, but they don't have any love for the ninjas, and they're too scared of teh hoodlums that raped him.

So, I've seen the horrible after effects of a massive gangbang, and I really do feel for you. They ****ed him six ways from Sunday. They ****ed his mouth, his arse, in between his toes. They even did his lovehandles. I think he said that one of the rapists muttered: "Find a fold and **** it, fool!" during the affair.

It still makes my mate tremble when he hears the word "fold".

We were playing poker last week, Texas Hold-'Em, and there were three of us playing for the pot, all-in, in our Annual Ninjitsu Poker Tournament. My unfortunate mate, myself, and one of our students, Jack Eschenbach. My mate had 5 Aces, I had three Jacks, and Jack had a Queen (ironic, I know). Well, I knew what my mate had, because I'd placed reconnaisance mirrors all throughout the room, and my mate knew what I had, because he'd mastered Ninja Mind Control by reading the book cover-to-cover 199 times. Jack was bluffing.

I knew I couldn't win, so I said: "I fold."

My mate's hands started shaking, and he dropped his cards all over the floor, whimpering: "Find a fold......find a fold....."

Jack won the pot. He thanked me for the assist by giving me a cool thousand. Sure, I felt bad. But I took the dough.

But I didn't feel good about it. I'm a really nice guy, once you get to know me, but you never will because then I'll have to kill you.

Kind of a catch-22.



Anyway I than offered for him and me to go one on one on a side street

Servicing your rapists on a one-to-one basis still won't erase the fact that you were raped, twenty-on-one. I hope you use protection.


and the big black dudes wanted to fight for him again and fight me, while he didnt really respond or hid behind them.

Well, at least you're good enough at what you do (although I don't condone that kind of reckless sexual behavior) that they're willing to fight for it.



Infact one of them was talking trash tome saying even their sister could beat me up.

That's just disgusting, and it paints a clear picture of the kind of Alabamic inbred scum you're dealing with.

I think we can all agree that comparing the sexual machismo of the boy you raped to the bedroom techniques of your sister is just downright disgusting. (No offence to you, JetlisFearless).



I started wlaking with one of those black dudes to a dark alley but noticed the whole crew is following suit and went back into public saying "naw I aint playing this way again."

Nor should you. I'll bet you didn't crap in comfort for a month after the last gangbang. Besides, experience tells me that gangbangs are better left at a tally of one. (Of course, mine was with a bunch of fit babes).



One kid amidtted he was there and aprticipated in my ebating saying he did it cause I was choking that black guy who was fighting me first.

I'm not familiar with this "ebating", since I am a conservative man. Was your gang-bang filmed, or broadcast over the internet? I imagine e-bating as what young teens do when they visit adult websites.

Disgusting. I just don't condone that kind of lasciviousness.



I replied to this saying I wasnt gonnna killhim and what you did was weak.

It was. And you're doing well. The first step in rape recovery is self-empowerment. You weren't to blame. You were not in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't your fault. It was his. And it was very weak. But alas....it's the way the Kogo-ryu ninjas operate, and it's why they are our sworn enemies. That, and hte whipped-cream infiltration incident of 1968. But that's a tale for another thread.



He claimed cause if it was just swinging they wouldnt itnerfere but me choking him standing up was what casued it.

I thought you had to have a partner to swing? Did you bring your woman and agree to the gang bang? And did you get to bag on their *****es?



I didnt buy it. Than just started leaving.

That's right. NEver buy it. You shouldn't buy poonanny, when other women will just give it away. Or men.....if your tastes swing that way.......I mean......well, you know what I mean.



than I saw like 5 of them startint to follow me, I turned around after awhile and one of them asked if Im the one who choked his cousin.

Thank you for getting back to the gist of the story. I'm get uncomfortable around the subject of male rape. (For purposes of street cred, you might not want to spread around the fact that you got gangbanged. It's lose-lose, you know what I mean?)

Anyways, this demostrates one of the fundamental deficiencies in leaving your victims alive, and not following through beyond a choke with the ritual faux seppuku murder-suicide scenario I already illustrated for you. You'll start to lose track of who you choked.

I mean, if I just choked everyone and didn't actually kill, everyone would know me and I'd constantly be testing my role-playing technique (the "hey, aren't you the guy that choked me?" role denial). I'd probably go insane from the role playing.

Killing solves problems, and simplifies yours.

[Mega-Foot]

I replied at first that I apologised but than right away he asked again if that was me and I just replied yea.

:mad::mad::mad:



Than he said elts go were gonna go one on one and I said "follow me" than noticed the rest of his friends are following suit including that one who admitted toa participating in my ebating who I got later today which Ill explain.

Really, I understand you were gangraped. But heaping gangrape upon gangrape isn't going to solve anything. ANd you definitely shouldn't involve anyone who would ever e-bate to a crime of this magnitude. Remember: you're nobody's doormat.

You have a special place in each of our hearts. Isn't that right, guys?


Come on KFM! Clap if you love this boy! It's a veritable standing ovation!

[bodhitree]

Clap Clap Clap

[Mega-Foot]

I quickly lost them and went in to a bar (theyre nto old enought o go in one).

I have a feeling I'm going to need a drink after this one, too. Heh....heh....



Later I went to my car for my weapons (knife and wrench that I put in my pockets) and planned to lure a few of them at a time to a side street and attack them with those weapons.

A fantastic plan. I love to cut holes into all of my pockets, so I can retrieve things I have strapped to my thighs, and to other things, as well. And if my lady friend is walking down the street with me, she can reach her hand into my pocket and retrieve other things.

The only drawback to this is that I keep forgetting about the holes, and I lose my wallet darn near every week.:o

I started wearing a fanny pack, but since I live in LA, everyone called me a "F-A-G"......so I stopped. I don't suppose it helped that it was neon green, with hot pink stripes.



I went back and they werent following my bait and staying away form me for some reaosn as I tried to get them to see me and wlak away having them pursue which they didnt.

At this point, we're all thinking the same thing. By now, there's probably a good chance that you've contracted Herpes. Do you have any unsightly blisters or rashes from your recent "encounters" and "capers" ( I was going to make a joke, and say "rapers", but it just didn't seem appropriate).

If you do have some scars or blisters, it would explain the hesitation.

You see, I have this friend, and this friend that I have has Herpes, and this friend always has to cover up the scars and rashes with foundation make-up in order to get any poonanny. It's really sad for this friend of mine.



ANyway I went back tot he dance a few days later since its held once a week and there was the same crew that was there the first time who I tried helping out this time they showed up with a bunch of people ready to fight saying they came just to fight. One of them was apperently a norteno as well.

Norteno? Aren't the Nortenos the time-travelling teenagers from the future in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons, who drove around in a flying cadillac? I'll have to consult the archives, later. But this might explain how the Kogo-ryu ninjas have gotten a hold of time-travelling technology.

[Mega-Foot]

None of them showed but that little girlfriend of that main one who I first mentioned had his number and one of the guys that I tried helping out was tlaking to him and apperently its on next week (the end of the current week right now) cause they were at some party. They even bragged to him that they got one of us (me).
Anyway I found out his name from others there that hated him and found out how he made so many allies than. Apperently after engaging in an argument with that guy who I was helping out who just tlaked to him on the clell phone, he started shaking the hands of everyone there asking if theyre down with him and hsi crew.

ANyway I found his name and the anme fo the school he goes and today went to what I thought was that schol. It turned out to be a different school but I saw the other guy there (with none of the same crew) who was one of the ones who followed me at the market trying to again gang bang on me and whoa dmitted he was part of the original crew who attacked me saying they did it cause i was chjoking the other dude.

I first backed out of attacking him, but waited till he wasnt tlaking to anyone and away form themain office there and the empty cop car parked in front of the shcool. I went up to him and confronted him about it and he at first claimed he didnt kick me when I was down and asked if I pulled a knife on one of them, cause he said one of them said that. I was confused cause I only pulled a knife on that one kid witht he dad who isnt even part of the crew but friends with one of the members of the crew and didnt think of him at the time, but I remembered that I played baskebtall again witht he guy I knew from earlier I mentioned and had a knife in my pocket during the game he might have noticed.

I'm a little confused. I don't understand any of this. Let me attempt to recapitulate what you just said:

"None of them showed (their naughty parts) except for the little girlfriend (a tMNT Norteno, perhaps, since they always looked like elves anyways) of the main Norteno who you first mentioned had his number (do you mean, like, when I'm going to kill someone I might say: "I've got his number?", or as in, as a gay prostitute, you've got his phone number?)--well, you tried helping this "ass-ociate" of yours who was talking to him.....wait, now I'm lost....okay, are you talking about the main TMNT Norteno, probably the one driving the flying cadillac, who is apparently on next week (reruns are great.....or do you mean he's experiencing next week because he can time travel, and you're only seeing the Norteno of last week because you're caught in a looping time continuum?) and in this week of the past, the Norteno of next week, which is the end of the current week, they were/are going to be at some kind of Norteno/Kogo-ryu ninja powow, and they got (raped) you, or are raping you, or will rape you, depending on their time placement in the time-looping continuum of mass-rapage in which you are mired. So you found out his name this week, knowing he'd rape you next week, which is really last week, from some people that hated him (I know it wasn't us, but then there's lots of Ninja clans that hate the Kogo's), and you found out how he'd made allies then, or now, or in the future. So after the guy you were helping (servicing in a dark alley?), who was talking on his cellphone while being serviced, finished up, you shook hands and asked if you could go down on his entire crew. He said you already did, last week, which you denied, of course, since you're still in the last-week part of this time looping continuum, and you've already serviced the crew of the future, which sees you as the man-***** of the past. Of course, since you're in the last week phase, you denied it, because you don't see that you've already done it, and asked if this guy still has a problem with you, and he said: "No, we can be friends as long as you don't choke any of my friends." Which makes sense, in a non-ninja kind of way. But then you asked him if he was just standing there, and wasn't busy and all, if he would kick you and then deny it when you fell down (I don't know why you'd do that, but I'm sure you have your reasons)--as you've been through a lot recently, mostly a lot of cock--and he did it and then denied it, like you asked, and got smarter because of it. So you threw punch at his face and started fighting, because you don't like people thinking that kicking you makes them smarter, which is a dumb thing to do, because it doesn't make them smarter---and you asked for it. The fight seemed to be going on forever, which might be true, since you're caught in a looping time continuum, and you're expriencing the past in the present, all while focusing on the future, and thus are caught in a kind of stasis. You notice that theres a cop car that's empty in front of the school, and that the cop in that empty cop car (which I guess makes sense, b/c since you're experiencing the past, the cop of the future could return mid-past and show up spontaneously in the front seat, quantum leaping from car to security station, and vice-versa at a moment's notice), so you ran away. Wait, I think we've got ahead of ourselves. We're now in the next week phase of this week, which is really last week...but in the this week phase you found out the name of this main time-travelling TMNT Norteno and discovered which school he goes to (he must make straight A's, since he can time travel back and forth, thus cheating on his midterms), and you went there. But you must have had the time reference wrong, because the school was a completely different school, or had been remodeled since you were there in the school of yesteryear. But amazingly enough, in this hyper-school you saw one of the time-travelling TMNT villains at the market, which is now inside of this hyper-school, trying to gang bang on the you of this parallel dimension, which was surely a strange experience, considering how you were just gangbanged in your own dimension by this same guy's friends, so you confronted him as he is gangbanging you and he denies having gangbanged you in the other dimension, the original dimension, with the original you, where the original gangrape occured, originally. He said he didn't do it, which he didn't, since the "he" of this parallel dimension cannot be held accountable for the indiscretions of his "parallel dimensional doppelganger." But in that parallel dimension, where you are from--not the one where you're talking to him as he's gangbanging you--he didn't rape you, because he was busy choking someone (probably one of the rapists, for autoerotic asphyxiation). So now you go back in time, to continue the fight you were fleeing, but you go a little too far, which is understandable, since you're new to time travel, and you're back into the fight. This time around, you back out of fighting him completely, but you wait to do so until he isn't talking to anyone, presumably you, in the last-week phase of the continuum, and you pull a knife on him, and he asks you if you've pulled a knife on him, which I don't really understand, because if you did he'd have no trouble seeing the knife you've pulled, unless of course the empty cop car is now in the main office where you both are as the both of you have shifted into the parallel dimension where the guy who didn't rape you in the original universe is now raping you---and so you didn't realize that you were in the main building, and in this universe, they actually park their cars indoors. So now he can't see the knife because the cop car is obstructing his view. You're a bit confused, which is understandable, and you tell him you thought you pulled the knife on the kid with the dad who isn't a part of the crew, but is friends with one of them (which, because the crew member is his son, explains the friendship thing); and all of a sudden, you recall playing basketball with a guy you used to know, and you time travel back and mention to him that you have a knife in your pocket, and he said, well, I noticed a bulge, but I thought it was something else poking out of your pants. And you both laughed and played more basketball........


Yes, it's all becoming clear now. I see.....I see......

[Mega-Foot]

I'll formulate a plan of action. I'll see you tomorrow, if you're not already there.

Hold on JetlisFearless.

Help is on the way!
Or it's already there!
Or you've already been saved by the help that is here and is already there!

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

Am I the only one here that is lost in confusion?

[CLFLPstudent]

Am I the only one here that is lost in confusion?

No. I am confused by 2 things.

The first, why re-open this idiotic topic?

The second - MF has entirely too much time to even think the amount of stuff he did. To then type it up boarders on insanity. I have to be honest and say I didn't read all of MF's post's but I should be able to charge him for the amount of time it took me to just scroll through them.

Conclusion - this thread is turning into a 'who is the bigger idiot' test. But since it seems like JL'sF is MIA for about a month MF wins hands down for this diarrhea of the keyboard.

-David

[Kung Pao]

My kid was really into the Ninja Turtles, and as a parent, I kind of enjoyed them, too. I ran the "Norteno" past my son (I remember the consept).

It's the Neutrinos, not Nortenos.

But very funny, regradless.:D

[Mr Punch]

Drat! Grandmaster Sensei just ate the letter "" on my -eyboard. I'm going to have to go put him back to bed. This just isn't wor-ing. I'll be bac- in a moment.Rumbled! :D

(My highlight - Mega-Foot's folly - just in case he uses his ninja editing techniques... :rolleyes:)

[golden arhat]

thats awesome
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
just
:D
plain
:D
:D
awesome
:D:D

[Mega-Foot]

Rumbled! :D

(My highlight - Mega-Foot's folly - just in case he uses his ninja editing techniques... :rolleyes:)

Nobody is fooled by your slander. Clearly you've edited my original post.

[Justinrohrman]

your aiming too high dude. start with 8 year olds and work your way up.

AHAHHHAHAHAHH good one :D

[bodhitree]

B b U u M m P p ! !

[synack]

Try a headbutt to the bridge of his nose our into his teeth next time. :rolleyes:

Stop being a *****. If you are going to throw the first attack, do it right. And stop watching movies! They're just movies! All BS, if someone is going to get tapped by Bruce Lee or Jet Li or Jackie Chan or whoever they are going down! Why?


Because it's in the ****ing script.

[John Takeshi]

Because it's in the ****ing script.

:rolleyes: You obviously don't have any idea what you are talking about, so please leave this matter well enough alone. We don't appreciate your lack of candor on this issue.

P.S. when you catch a butterfly kick from Jet Li, you don't fall because it's in the script. You fall because he's just that good.

[Chosen-frozen]

obviously you hit like a girl.

I doubt it.......I`ve got a wife and two daughters that could probably drop this creampuff without working up a sweat.:D:D:D

How does a 22 yr old guy get into high school dances anyway?:confused:

[Shaolin Wookie]

He time travels. Props to Kung Pao for brining up the Neutrino's.........

Ah.....it's good to be a part of the ninja turtle generation.

[bodhitree]

bump, because I miss the good trolls