Review: Takeshi Shaolin Ninjitsu Commune

[bodhitree]

Location: Shaolin Ninjitsu (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47302)Commune, 5426 Crenshaw Blvd, behind Crenshaw Yoga & Dance

After traveling a long distance and providing my credentials Grandmaster Sensei had his students perform a background analysis. When the results came back I was invited inside the dojo to train.

Grandmaster Sensei himself was not running the class. The gentleman who was suggested "let's warm up with a game of grab ass".

"Grab ass, I'm not familiar with that" I said

"Just sit and watch the first round" He replied, "it's simple enough, you'll catch on".

So I sat in the corner.


'Grab ass' was just what it sounded like. A bunch of guys dressed up like ninjas (http://imartial.com/player-photos-detail.aspx?imgid=950&uid=1365)(no women were there) were running around, hands cupped, trying to grab both cheeks.


This is very odd I thought to myself. Nevertheless I thought the real Shaolin Ninjitsu must be comming soon. I wanted to learn the deadly art. There are people who need to die.

Time goes on and finally Sensei Hoyle suggusts a new game. He calls this game "grab ass with a reach around".

Sure enough the game is exactly as it sounds. Sensei mentioned that there is a rule, you must have the ass cupped in order to reach around. They invited me to play, and my response was "no thanks, I'm really not into that kind of thing. Perhaps me coming here was a mistake, I'm just going to leave now".


At that moment Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi walked in and shouted:


"You know what goes on here, you cannot leave"!

"Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno and Judo Grandmaster Andy would never approve of this kind of behavior in the dojo" I challanged. He knew it was true. He knew I had studied with both of them. He also knew I learned Tai Shing Pek Kwar from Chan Tai San.

"What are you waiting for, get him" Grandmaster Sensei shouted at his students.


Four of them surrounded me. I then executed a butterfly twist which knocked into all of them and rendered them unconscious.

Just then a large student of Grandmaster Sensei approached. This guy looked like Lurch from the Adams family. He came at me, hands cupped, ready to grab my ass. Luckily for me, Grandmaster Andy (Judo fist grandmaster) had taught me the power of sprint running, and I was out of there.

Conclusion: Somehow Grandmaster Sensei has weak controll of his students and class. It has been infiltrated. I have not lost respect for you, but you need to retake your organization before your reputation is ruined permanently.


Rating: ** out of *****

[Royal Dragon]

So ur saying you beat up 4 Ninja's? LOL!! Big deal!! ninjas are easy to beat in smll numbers....well,, they are easy to beat in large numbers tooo!!! :D

[gwa sow]

ninjas are easy to kill untill,................they flip out and kill people (http://realultimatepower.net):D

ya, i know its been posted before

[SenseiShellie]

Sorry you went thru such an ordeal, bodhitree. Sounds like no fun at all.

[The Xia]

Perhaps you’d be happier in the Wudang-Shaolin Ninja Do Pai. It was founded in the Three Kingdoms period by General Tso. The Wudang-Shaolin Ninja Do Pai teaches deadly arts such as Wudang-Shaolin Ninjitsu, Greco-Roman Aiki-Ninjitsu, Brazilian Ninjitsu, General Tso’s Chicken Fist, Dim Mak-Jutsu, Judo Katana Chuan, and Samurai Tai Chi Fut Chuan. There is also a strong emphasis on the mind of the dragon spiritual, which blends well with the essence of enlightenment of the tiger spiritual.

[Immortal_Dragon]

ROFL....what is this doing in the shaolin forums?? :D :D

[SenseiShellie]

ROFL....what is this doing in the shaolin forums?? :D :D

Sounds like it needs to be in a rape type of forum...

[The Xia]

ROFL....what is this doing in the shaolin forums?? :D :D
http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showpost.php?p=780701&postcount=8

[The Xia]

During the Three Kingdoms period the great General Tso grew weary of battle and sought the mind of the tiger spiritual in the mountains. For many years he meditated on the true spiritual until he had a revelation. While practicing traditional empty force techniques of General Tso’s Chicken Fist, the essence of enlightenment filled his spirit. He had acquired not only the mind of the tiger spiritual, but also the mind of the dragon spiritual. From here he gathered followers and taught them his ways. He passed away after living a fulfilling life but continued to lead his clan from beyond the grave. Eventually, monks from both Wudang and Shaolin joined General Tso, bringing their martial arts into the clan. A few centuries later, groups of General Tso clan members traveled to Japan in search of adventure. They brought back with them a group of Japanese warriors, mostly Ninjas, but also a good number of Ronin, for the purposes of incorporating Budo into our clan. General Tso observed that at this point, his clan mostly consisted of Wudang, Shaolin, and Ninja. He brought together the disciplines of each into one style, Wudang-Shaolin Ninjitsu, and renamed his clan the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai. After this, he formed other arts as new styles were introduced into our clan. The oldest is General Tso's Chicken Fist, which was created by General Tso many years before he retreated into the mountains and founded the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai. The latest is Brazilian Ninjitsu.

[John Takeshi]

I do not find this amusing in the least.

Not only have you tarnished the reputation of my commune, but you have insulted Grandmaster Andy, Sensei Hoyle, and every student enrolled in our organization. You painted a caricature of myself, and you've thereby insulted Grandmaster Senseis Takeshi Ukeno and Chan Tai San.

I figured I was being set up to be punked. But I find out I was wrong all along.
























































Bodhitree, you're nothing but a little bratty punk.

[The Xia]

Jokes of this nature can be harmful. Word spreads quickly. If what you posted is indeed false, I suggest you tell us the truth to repair any damage that may have been done to Grandmaster Sensei John Takeshi's reputation.

[Daniel09]

How do you even render 4 ninjas unconscious with one move? :confused:

[lkfmdc]

A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM CHAN TAI SAN
(http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=3891&d=1185281899)

[SenseiShellie]

A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM CHAN TAI SAN
(http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=3891&d=1185281899)

LOL! I love it.

[TenTigers]

Little Known Fact...
The great exploits of General Tso and the fierce reputation of his WuDang Ninja Do P'ai did not go unnoticed in China. Many warriors who met defeat at his hands, fled China and sought refuge in Gum-San, America's San Francisco, as well as NY's Chinatowns. There, they became laborers, more specific resteraunt workers, and chefs. Cowardice takes many shapes, but the lowest are those who attack while safely hiding behind their mother's skirts, or shouting out names as they run and hide.(we've all seen this, sometimes people after being defeated soundly get very brave as their foe is driving away, and they hurl insults and racial slurs.
This very thing has crept into our culture under our very noses, and is cleverly disguised as the mundane. The reality is, the popular Chinese dish made of pieces of chicken dipped in waterchestnut powder,stir-freid and served with a sweet and pungent sauce, is not named in honor of General Tso, but originally named to insult the Famous Martial Warrior.
Originally, they called it, "GENERAL TSO IS CHICKEN!", but said fast, it becomes General Tso's Chicken.
The ingredients themselves are symbolic and add insult to injury as well. Waterchestnut powder implies that one's testicles are shrivled and tiny, as one gets when they emerge from a pool. Many a less than well-endowed Ninja suffered grave humilaiation at the hands of his trainng brothers with the taunting he got in the public baths of Japan.
"Hey, Waterchestnuts! Nice package-What are ya smuggling down there-peas?"
Originally, the tartness of the sauce did not come from the addition of vinegar, but of urine, however if word were to leak out (hahahaha! very punny!) the tourism in Chinatowns would suffer. The procedure for making the dish required the chef to defiantly (and cowardly) say aloud while urinating on the chicken,
"Ha! I **** on you , you little chicken!"
That is why, out of respect, I refuse to order this dish, and wisely choose the Fishballs instead, symbolically saying t o the chef,"Your balls smell like fish, because you can only afford the cheap,opium smoking prostitutes that walk the docks, with their privates reeking of halibut to the point that cats follow them home and seagulls circle them constantly."

[SenseiShellie]

Hey John,

aren't you Mega-Foot?

[TenTigers]

(Halibut was used in earlier times before the creation of feminine hygiene (which is not what a feagella says to greet Gene) spray.) Kinda like the difference between antiperspirant and deoderant...
-another little known fact

[The Xia]

Little Known Fact...
The great exploits of General Tso and the fierce reputation of his WuDang Ninja Do P'ai did not go unnoticed in China. Many warriors who met defeat at his hands, fled China and sought refuge in Gum-San, America's San Francisco, as well as NY's Chinatowns. There, they became laborers, more specific resteraunt workers, and chefs. Cowardice takes many shapes, but the lowest are those who attack while safely hiding behind their mother's skirts, or shouting out names as they run and hide.(we've all seen this, sometimes people after being defeated soundly get very brave as their foe is driving away, and they hurl insults and racial slurs.
This very thing has crept into our culture under our very noses, and is cleverly disguised as the mundane. The reality is, the popular Chinese dish made of pieces of chicken dipped in waterchestnut powder,stir-freid and served with a sweet and pungent sauce, is not named in honor of General Tso, but originally named to insult the Famous Martial Warrior.
Originally, they called it, "GENERAL TSO IS CHICKEN!", but said fast, it becomes General Tso's Chicken.
The ingredients themselves are symbolic and add insult to injury as well. Waterchestnut powder implies that one's testicles are shrivled and tiny, as one gets when they emerge from a pool. Many a less than well-endowed Ninja suffered grave humilaiation at the hands of his trainng brothers with the taunting he got in the public baths of Japan.
"Hey, Waterchestnuts! Nice package-What are ya smuggling down there-peas?"
Originally, the tartness of the sauce did not come from the addition of vinegar, but of urine, however if word were to leak out (hahahaha! very punny!) the tourism in Chinatowns would suffer. The procedure for making the dish required the chef to defiantly (and cowardly) say aloud while urinating on the chicken,
"Ha! I **** on you , you little chicken!"
That is why, out of respect, I refuse to order this dish, and wisely choose the Fishballs instead, symbolically saying t o the chef,"Your balls smell like fish, because you can only afford the cheap,opium smoking prostitutes that walk the docks, with their privates reeking of halibut to the point that cats follow them home and seagulls circle them constantly."
It's good to see a fellow Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai member on the message board.
Outsiders who are aware of our clan's existance often ponder the connection between our illustrious leader and the dish called "General Tso's Chicken." What makes the actions of the cowardly all the worse is the fact that General Tso's Chicken Fist is our most ancient art. When Americans first joined the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai, we used a different translation for the style. However, mere mention of learning the ways of General Tso's **** was met with uproarious laughter, so we decided to translate it as General Tso’s Chicken Fist. Unfortunately, the great insult that TenTigers mentioned occurred a decade or so later. After the villainous dish spread in popularity we thought of changing the translation once again, this time to General Tso’s Rooster Fist. Alas, the American students did not take well to the change and continued to call it General Tso’s Chicken Fist, echoing the great insult.

[lkfmdc]

Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai's secret form list

(do not share with ANYONE!)

[htowndragon]

i like how their forms list is a menu.

[TenTigers]

like, duh! It's all in code, silly!:rolleyes:

[SenseiShellie]

LOL...too funny.

[lkfmdc]

i like how their forms list is a menu.

why is it some people never get the gag and give the joke away immediately? :rolleyes:

[Daniel09]

I don't get it...

[The Xia]

I don't get it...
Few know the true essence of the spiritual.

[Daniel09]

Not sure what you mean by that, but ok. Not all things are meant to be understood, some things are simply designed to confuse those of lesser intelligence.

In other words, I'm naive!:)

[The Xia]

If you know what it is you are hoping to understand. Do you seek to become the Judo Fist? Do you seek the mind of the tiger spiritual? Do you seek the mind of the dragon spiritual?
The tiger of the mind is the spiritual of the essence of enlightenment is the dragon of the mind is the essence of enlightenment of the spiritual. :cool:

[TenTigers]

remember this:
that that is is that that is not is not is that it is.

[Scott R. Brown]

remember this:
that that is is that that is not is not is that it is.

It's like the feeling you feel when you feel the feeling you never felt before!:eek:

[TenTigers]

"remember this:
that that is is that that is not is not is that it is."

it's a common trick used by English teachers to demonstrate punctuation. It was even used in some movie in the 60's I think.

That, that is, is. That, that is not, is not. Is that? It is!

[Daniel09]

If you know what it is you are hoping to understand. Do you seek to become the Judo Fist? Do you seek the mind of the tiger spiritual? Do you seek the mind of the dragon spiritual?
The tiger of the mind is the spiritual of the essence of enlightenment is the dragon of the mind is the essence of enlightenment of the spiritual. :cool:

The thing about it is that I don't know what those things are and I have not yet found out how to obtain that knowledge.

[The Xia]

The Judo Fist is cultivated through the training of the spiritual. In order to acquire the mind of the dragon spiritual, one must become the Judo Fist. True harmony of the mind of the dragon spiritual with the mind of the tiger spiritual brings about true knowledge of the true essence of the true enlightenment of the true spiritual. The glorious spiritual courses through the Judo Fist uniting the essence of Wudang, Shaolin, and Ninja into the essence of the mind. The essence of the mind of the Wudang Shaolin Ninja is the spiritual of the Judo Fist.

[The Xia]

After this occurs, General Tso holds a banquet in honor of the one who has achieved this feat. It is held in a forbidden temple in the Kunlun mountain range. Cover charge is $20 per person. If you bring two or more guests, $15 per person. Noisemakers and cone hats are distributed free of charge behind the temple gate. I think that should demonstrate how generous I am.

[bodhitree]

I do not find this amusing in the least.

Not only have you tarnished the reputation of my commune, but you have insulted Grandmaster Andy, Sensei Hoyle, and every student enrolled in our organization. You painted a caricature of myself, and you've thereby insulted Grandmaster Senseis Takeshi Ukeno and Chan Tai San.


















The behavior in your establishment has disrespected these masters much more than I ever could




Jokes of this nature can be harmful. Word spreads quickly. If what you posted is indeed false, I suggest you tell us the truth to repair any damage that may have been done to Grandmaster Sensei John Takeshi's reputation.


Xia, it is the truth, I swear to the tiger spiritual


How do you even render 4 ninjas unconscious with one move? :confused:

A butterfly twist with the intention of the tiger spiritual will render anyone unconscious it knocks into.



Hey John,

aren't you Mega-Foot?

and mega_fist

look up mega_fist (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38209&highlight=mega_fist), you'll be pleasantly (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39673&highlight=mega_fist) delighted (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38400&highlight=mega_fist), oh and last but not least, he was briefly mega_warrior (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41424&highlight=mega_warrior)


John,

I don't mean any disrespect to you. You have lost your way. Get rid of the students that are corrupting your program. This is the only way to gain back respect for Judo Grandmaster Andy, Takeshi Ukeno, and Chan Tai San (10th dan Tai Shing Pek Kwar)

[John Takeshi]

Well, for those of you who doubt; the ones who are doubters; the doubters that do not believe because of their doubt, the truth is out:

You're all liars!

Rose confirmed that nobody has asked to seek the mind of the tiger spiritual.

I dare you to call me a liar to my face, because I'll be wearing a mask, and when you say "liar", I'll cut your noggin off and feed it to the dog (who turned Bootytree's cot into a toilet---the joke's on you!)

There is no dragon spiritual, you charlatans! The dragon is the essence of the tiger spiritual; it can fly through storm and squall, swim in the belly of the deeps with leviathans, and cut through brush and bramble with its swath-cutting tail! But can it transcend celestial being to take on mortal shape? No! Only the tiger spiritual is the spiritual of transcendence!

I am Mega-Foot, Sensei Shellie (but that account won't work anymore because of some fluke---Royal Dragon had it,too. But it's not contagious). You were once a kind heart and an open ear, willing to forgive some seemingly sexist retorts of mine. Please speak to the others on this forum. I have good intentions, and we share the same taste in movies. Just because I'm Japanese by ethnicity does not make me less of an American. I can't believe how racist you all are being against me. Especially Lokhopkuen. He posted this just the other day, just before he deleted it (because it probably would have gotten him banned by the moderators, who are my very close mates):


You're an opprobrious fellow of a low demeanor, but what can I expect, since you're asian? I don't like asian food, mostly because it's asian. Just because I study asian martial arts doesn't mean I like asians any more than I do Canadians. In my point of view, they're both as lousy as the Basques. Did you know the Basques evolved from Cro Magnon Man, rather than **** erectus? It's no wonder they look like they do, with large occipital lobes and such. Hehehe! I gain much pleasure at their expense. I think this demonstrates how lousy of a person I am!

[The Xia]

There is no dragon spiritual, you charlatans! The dragon is the essence of the tiger spiritual; it can fly through storm and squall, swim in the belly of the deeps with leviathans, and cut through brush and bramble with its swath-cutting tail! But can it transcend celestial being to take on mortal shape? No! Only the tiger spiritual is the spiritual of transcendence!
So you feel there is only one way to the spiritual? You honestly think that the histories of the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai given by myself and TenTigers are false? You honestly think that lkfmdc's list of Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai forms is fabricated? If this is indeed true, why would anyone do such things? Perhaps as a test to see if you are a true Shaolin Ninja? Or is what we post true? Tell us Grandmaster Sensei. We await your wisdom.

[John Takeshi]

I think you're baiting me to reveal more than I should. Although I am inwardly outraged, and outwardly enraged, I am no fool. You could not get the secrets of Shao-lin Ninjitsu from me though you had a fistful of tacks, a monkey-wrench, a quart of Astroglide, a Siamese turtle, sixteen feet of copper mesh, a cup of laundry detergent, and a an unstable canister of ether.

I think this should demonstrate how resistant I am to your wiles, you willy-nilly Xia-yster.

[The Xia]

But if all this was indeed a ruse to bait you into revealing more then you should, perhaps we were speaking in partial truths. Perhaps the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai and General Tso are real, but of a far more sinister nature then we let on, lurking in the shadows of other clans for centuries, armed with the mind of the dark spiritual. Or perhaps that is bogus and our wiles demonstrate that we are true Shaolin Ninjitsu candidates.

[John Takeshi]

Or perhaps that is bogus and our wiles demonstrate that we are true Shaolin Ninjitsu candidates.

That, (as well as a MAster's Degrees Certificate) remains to be seen.

[TenTigers]

I had no idea Astroglide came in quarts (as do elephants) Where could I purchase some? I am having work done on my '73 Harley by the Fuctory Stealership, and I have a feeling I will need it.

[bodhitree]

Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi


The behavior at your club was unacceptable. Grandmaster Andy (Judo Grandmaster) says you have three days to explain the bahavior. If you don't reply, he said he'll take your titles and ranks away.

[bodhitree]

then kill you

[John Takeshi]

Why you feel the need to be so racist against me and those in my school, I do not know. There is no three day time limit.

What an ass art thou! I do not understand you!

I think that this demonstrates how well-read I am. I quoted that from memory.

[John Takeshi]

I entreat you to reply, if you dare:

Where, pray tell, if you or Xia is worthy of Shao-lin Ninjitsu, did that quotation come from?

Make all haste in your reply. It shall require the utmost Speed.

You have until before nightfall.

[The Xia]

In "The Two Gentlemen of Verona," it reads "What an ass art thou! I understand thee not."

[John Takeshi]

You're not quoting from the original folio. That's a redaction by later hacks. Bravo, however. I am impressed.

Not with you.

Only the fact that a mollusk like a Xia-yster had the resources to find that one out.

[The Xia]

General Tso is not happy. Behold the glorious wrath of his dark spiritual as you watch this short video I took of him in his secret, underground, spiritual, temple-fortress.

[John Takeshi]

I can do that with my eyes closed. So what?

[bodhitree]

I entreat you to reply, if you dare

I entreat you to not explain yourself, or face Grandmaster Sensei Andy's (Judo Grandmaster) wrath.....

[John Takeshi]

Then I will not reply, and therefore remain in his good graces. BTW, Grandmaster Andy is just Grandmaster. I am a Grandmaster, and sometimes acting Grandmaster Sensei. He bows to me, on occasion.

[bodhitree]

Grandmaster Sensei Andy was given his title from Takeshi Ukeno.... Whom stripped you of your title and has suggested Andy take this course of action. Very well, you soon will face the Judo fist's vengence.

[bodhitree]

Then I will not reply, and therefore remain in his good graces. BTW, Grandmaster Andy is just Grandmaster. I am a Grandmaster, and sometimes acting Grandmaster Sensei. He bows to me, on occasion.



oh, really



Shao-lin Ninjitsu is real,
And if you sign up for two years
You get a real good deal.
Most clubs charge around 99
Dollars per month for limited time.
You can live at my secret commune,
And learn from me; I'm a righteous dude.
Just ask Andy, my grandmaster and mate.
And on Fridays we bake chocolate cakes.

[The Xia]

I have recently become aware of the accusations made by the one known as "bodhitree” (also known as "bootytree") against the Takeshi Shaolin Ninjitsu Commune in Los Angelas. His opinions do not reflect those of me or the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai. I have been accused of being the puppet master behind him. This is false. It is true that I have an affinity for the Bodhi tree, and indeed keep a great many of them in my secret, underground, spiritual, temple-fortress. I also have my fair share of booty trees, but that is beside the point. I can neither confirm nor deny the accusations of the one known as “bodhitree,” but I can tell you that I am not behind them. Lastly, for those that insult me and the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai, I dare you to say those things to my ectoplasmic face at the Semi-annual Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai Celestial Kumite.
Sincerely,
General Tso, Majestic Soke of the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai

PS: An official invitation to the Semi-annual Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai Celestial Kumite is attached to this message. You must have a copy to enter.

[bodhitree]

Xia

The Takeshi squad is the sworn enemy of "General" Tso. Try to find a military record for him. He hasn't even served in the salvation army.

My favorite stance is tiger, what's everbody else go for?



I was walking down a dark alley and saw a group of Korean thugs beating up an old lady, I dropped in my tiger stance and Greco-Roman kicked them all. The old lady introduced me to her daughter, who was quite fit and not a bald head.


I hope this proves how brave I am.

[cjurakpt]

I have recently become aware of the accusations made by the one known as "bodhitree” (also known as "bootytree") against the Takeshi Shaolin Ninjitsu Commune in Los Angelas. His opinions do not reflect those of me or the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai. I have been accused of being the puppet master behind him. This is false. It is true that I have an affinity for the Bodhi tree, and indeed keep a great many of them in my secret, underground, spiritual, temple-fortress. I also have my fair share of booty trees, but that is beside the point. I can neither confirm nor deny the accusations of the one known as “bodhitree,” but I can tell you that I am not behind them. Lastly, for those that insult me and the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai, I dare you to say those things to my ectoplasmic face at the Semi-annual Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai Celestial Kumite.
Sincerely,
General Tso, Majestic Soke of the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai

PS: An official invitation to the Semi-annual Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai Celestial Kumite is attached to this message. You must have a copy to enter.


Xia

The Takeshi squad is the sworn enemy of "General" Tso. Try to find a military record for him. He hasn't even served in the salvation army.

My favorite stance is tiger, what's everbody else go for?



I was walking down a dark alley and saw a group of Korean thugs beating up an old lady, I dropped in my tiger stance and Greco-Roman kicked them all. The old lady introduced me to her daughter, who was quite fit and not a bald head.


I hope this proves how brave I am.

Takeshi redux...

[The Xia]

Takeshi redux...
Sounds like a Sonny Chiba movie! :p

[The Xia]

Xia

The Takeshi squad is the sworn enemy of "General" Tso. Try to find a military record for him. He hasn't even served in the salvation army.
I was uninformed due to my choice of veering away from Ninja clan politics, but I consulted with several Grand Poobahs of the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai. You are correct bodhitree.

My favorite stance is tiger, what's everbody else go for?
Mine is the wrathful penguin stance.

I was walking down a dark alley and saw a group of Korean thugs beating up an old lady, I dropped in my tiger stance and Greco-Roman kicked them all. The old lady introduced me to her daughter, who was quite fit and not a bald head.


I hope this proves how brave I am.
The Greco-Roman kick is very powerful when used in the tiger stance. I have a combo I like to do when fighting 4 opponents that starts with the Greco-Roman kick in tiger stance. First, I hit the opponent in front of me with a Greco-Roman kick in a tiger stance. I then do a jumping fish flop and strike the opponent behind me with a Ninja pincer. The opponent to my left is then stunned with a Judo stare while I twist into a Gene Ching stance and deliver a heavenly crotch kick to the opponent on my right. Finally, I rise into a wrathful penguin stance and finish the stunned opponent on my left with a David Carradine palm-claw.

[bodhitree]

xia, you just got quoted!!!:D

[The Xia]

xia, you just got quoted!!!:D
I am honored. :D
As for your accusations towards the Takeshi Shaolin Ninjitsu Commune, they have been confirmed. I was at a Ninja bar, specifically, "The watering hole of the mind of the tiger spiritual." Grandmaster Andy was sitting at the bar drinking sake as a large group of Ninjas were testing their skills at karaoke. Perplexed by the fact that Grandmaster Andy is not involved in the revelry, I walked up to him and asked, "Grandmaster Andy! Why do you not serenade us with your famous rendition of Barry Manilow hits?" Grimly he retorted, "The Takeshi Shaolin Ninjitsu Commune has degenerated into a mockery. I do not know what has happened to Grandmaster Sensei John Takeshi and Sensei Hoyle. At this time, I think it improper to engage in song and dance. I can see that you know the true spiritual. So please, leave me to my drink and meditations on the Judo Katana." I bid him good fortune and moved on to a table where a lone Ninjette sat. She was attractive, had long flowing hair (not bald), and was very impressed with my knowledge of General Tso's teachings.

[The Xia]

Any news from Grandmaster Andy or Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno?

[TenTigers]

"The tomato kick is deadly,especially when combined with the cinnabun palm"

-still can't achieve ketosis state through meditation alone.
-and I'm running out of keto-stix.

[bodhitree]

Any news from Grandmaster Andy or Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno?

Takeshi is hiding, he will not accept an honorable death. The commune is now vacant. He will soon meet his maker.

[John Takeshi]

I am ever vigilant, always watchful. I am watching you knuckleheads talking your "jive", unimpressed by your witless jokes and bland humours. Sooner or later it will all dwindle into the vacuum created by your passage here, and I'll PM one of the mods here (who are my very good friends, mind you) to delete this stupid thread.

And I won't hold a grudge, because I am a merciful, compassionate man.

[John Takeshi]

BTW, my favorite stance is on the right foot in dragon stance. What do you guys go for?

[bodhitree]

:eek:I heard a rumor that Sensei Andy (Judo Grandmaster) caught up with Mr. Takeshi.:eek:

[The Xia]

In response to the rumor that Sensei Andy (Judo Grandmaster) has caught up to Mr. Takeshi, I call all members of the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai to meditate on the true spiritual. I suggest meditating in the Gene Ching stance when spiritualizing. Let the mind of the tiger spiritual flow through the crotch kicks... I am the Judo Fist. The crotch kick of the mind is the spiritual of the Gene Ching of the mind is the essence of the enlightenment of the crotch kick.
Sincerely,
General Tso, Majestic Soke of the Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai

[brothernumber9]

This is all blasphemy! The lack of knowledge dsplayed about the Judo Katana gives the imposters away!

Beware! all hail the impending return of somebody!

The tornado kick that fells seven people at one time approaches!

[The Xia]

This is all blasphemy! The lack of knowledge dsplayed about the Judo Katana gives the imposters away!

Beware! all hail the impending return of somebody!

The tornado kick that fells seven people at one time approaches!
Who are you calling an imposter? If it is General Tso, perhaps you should tell it to his ectoplasmic face at the Semi-annual Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai Celestial Kumite! An invitation is attached!
"I am the Judo Fist. The crotch kick of the mind is the spiritual of the Gene Ching of the mind is the essence of the enlightenment of the crotch kick." - General Tso

[John Takeshi]

This is all blasphemy! The lack of knowledge dsplayed about the Judo Katana gives the imposters away!

Beware! all hail the impending return of somebody!

The tornado kick that fells seven people at one time approaches!

Please describe for me the proper measure for the bowflex-reverse-distal tapering ratio on a Judo Katana.

I laugh at this charge of blasphemy.

[cjurakpt]

Please describe for me the proper measure for the bowflex-reverse-distal tapering ratio on a Judo Katana.

trick question: the bowflex reverse ratio only applies to the proximal tapering

and the answer is, obviously,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Complex_conjugate_picture.svg

amateur hour...