Celestial Grand Masters

[sonny1595]

Does anyone know who the 21 Celestial Grand Masters are and where they train today?

[cjurakpt]

in your toy box?

[BruceSteveRoy]

alpha centari?

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

Where did you hear there were 21 Celestial Grand Masters??

[sanjuro_ronin]

I thought there were 27 ?? maybe some got demoted to mere "dark overlords".

[BruceSteveRoy]

maybe some got demoted to mere "dark overlords".

what kind of benefits package does that come with? i am thinking of a possible career change.

[sanjuro_ronin]

what kind of benefits package does that come with? i am thinking of a possible career change.

I know dental for sure and up to 1000 per year in "massage therapy" is covered, so you know that is a big thing with any Grand Master !

[lkfmdc]

Does anyone know who the 21 Celestial Grand Masters are and where they train today?

I hear they are teaching classes at Green Cloud Kung Fu :rolleyes:

[CLFNole]

Ouch!!! :eek: That was pretty harsh.

[sonny1595]

Mock all you want.....there are 21 Celestial Grand Master's that exsist today...thought someone here may have know someone who has trained under them. A simple no would have sufficed.

[NJM]

Mock all you want.....so I hope you really have that 12 inches to play with.

I know I do.

[lkfmdc]

Mock all you want.....



ok guys, he's inviting it!

let the mocking begin!

[Dragonzbane76]

I've never even heard of this celestial master stuff? 21 you say... hum...

why couldn't they just pick a nice round number... 22,24 you know had to be different didn't they. "Master" are like that I guess.

[lkfmdc]

I've never even heard of this celestial master muff?



it's covered in fur and is moist and warm inside ;)

[lkfmdc]

I found secret footage of 5 of them

http://www.thebigpicturedvd.com/html_reviews/DVD%20ART/temptations.jpg

[cjurakpt]

Mock all you want.....

"And tell the pleasant prince this mock of his
Hath turn'd his balls to gun-stones; and his soul
Shall stand sore charged for the wasteful vengeance
That shall fly with them: for many a thousand widows
Shall this his mock mock out of their dear husbands;
Mock mothers from their sons, mock castles down;
And some are yet ungotten and unborn
That shall have cause to curse the Dauphin's scorn."
- Henry V, Act I, Scene 1


there are 21 Celestial Grand Master's that exsist today...
yes, it's true, the last guy to make it in, he's even got his own real estate agency: Celestial 21...


thought someone here may have know someone who has trained under them. A simple no would have sufficed.
oh no, NO it wouldn't - your "question" absolutely required mockery...

just for the sake of argument - if in fact there actually were some sort of hidden group of Celebate Masturbators, do you really think that posting on a public forum would somehow reveal their whereabouts? (e.g. - "why yes, they are in the Lotus Dragon Hall, third mountain range from the left, 4,675 feet straight up, Tibet")

also, the reason tha there are 21 is simple - when debating the ways in which to best manage the cosmos, it's in order to avoid any tie votes, which would ultimately result in the very fabric of time and space being torn apart by equal and opposite forces - duh...

BTW, it seems that the criteria to get a profile here have really degenerated; also, i think that the sign-up page should have some kind of warning label, "attention all LARPERS, crunchy-granola-ists and crippled monkeys: tolerance for BS on KFM is nil, say something stupid and you will be held out to public scorn and ridicule; you have been warned"

[Xiao3 Meng4]

Maybe this guy (http://www.wingchun.com/wtmain.htm) knows of them... Go ask him. You never know, he might be one of 'em. :D

[IronWeasel]

Does anyone know who the 21 Celestial Grand Masters are and where they train today?


I killed the other twenty.

With wing chun.

[Dim Wit Mak]

They are training in their final abode and have added the pitchfork as a traditional weapon to their system.

Their footwork is quite good because they have so many hot rocks under their feet. :)

[TenTigers]

didn't Fred Hamilton have a tournament with that name?

[SanHeChuan]

Seriously, are they suppose to be like the living treasures of china? Or what? You can't just throw out a goofy name like Celestial masters, and not provide any back ground. :rolleyes:

They don't, they don't look like these guys (http://www.immortalthor.net/bio-celestials.jpg)do they? :eek:

[Scott R. Brown]

Mock all you want.....there are 21 Celestial Grand Master's that exsist today...thought someone here may have know someone who has trained under them. A simple no would have sufficed.

If we wanted you to know who we were we would come to you!

You are as of yet too young and naive. Train hard, study deeply and follow Tao. If you ever become worthy of teaching you will be contacted!

If you even try to find one of us you will be forever disqualified from being taught. If you actually find or identify one of us you and/or your family will be killed.

This user account was hacked. You cannot blame Mr. Brown for this response. Under NO circumstances is Mr. Brown to be considered one of the "Blessed"! Do not consider him one of us. If ANYONE tries to back track this hack and identifies us you and/or your family will be killed as well.

Tread cautiously where you are not welcome and accept the consequences of your foolishness!

You have been warned!!

[cjurakpt]

They don't, they don't look like these guys (http://www.immortalthor.net/bio-celestials.jpg)do they? :eek:

HAIL KIRBY!!!

[IronWeasel]

They are training in their final abode and have added the pitchfork as a traditional weapon to their system.


~~~~lolz~~~~

[cjurakpt]

stop Phoenix from rising

[fopah]

Maybe he's talking about some cheap steak.

http://cosmicfighting.atspace.com/origins.html

[BlueTravesty]

There are indeed 21 Celestial Masters, but I only know the names of 8 of them- can anyone else help out?

While their current whereabouts are unknown, here is the breakdown.

1.) Optimus Prime- last seen crying in his cereal and mourning the rollercoaster of life. The 3rd dimension is a hard adjustment to be made. Known for- Having the Touch, having the Power, P!ssing off Tim Curry.

2.) Prince- A.k.a The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. The only Celestial Master belonging to the Jehovah's Witnesses, and possibly one of the more sane and rational persons belonging to that organization. Currently releasing albums in the UK before releasing them in the US. Known For Intimate Knowledge of the Sound of Doves Crying, Celebrating This Thing We Call Life.

3.) Ed O'Neil- Aka Al Bundy. Last seen on a major network's failed attempt to revive the venerated "Dragnet" series of Crime Dramas. Known For Laying the Smack Down on Christina Applegate's TV boyfriends, having a Prostate the size of a watermelon.

4.) Harry S. Truman- A.k.a. the last American President who had any idea of what he was doing. Last seen in cryostasis. Known for- dropping bombs better than an entire set of skilled freestyle performers at Open Mic Night at a Harlem Hip-Hop club, Giving 'em hell.

5.) Toby Huss, AKA- Artie, the Strongest Man... In the World! The name says it all. Last Seen- doing voicework on the Mike Judge animated show, King of the Hill. Known For beating the snot out of the Atlantic Ocean. Owning a shirt made from a 60-40 titanium and cotton blend.

6.) Stephen Hawking. A.K.A. MC Hawking. Come on, he's Stephen Hawking!! Last Seen floating in simulated zero-grav. Known For Being Stephen Hawking, laying the Smack Dizzle on Carl Sagan in a 5-round mind-duel. Exploding like a bomb, no one is spared. His power is his mass times the speed of light squared.

7.) Shigeru Miyamoto- AKA The Shiggy. Last seen making really awesome games and bearing a creepy resemblance to Austin Powers. Known For Reminding people what real video games are all about, being generally awesome. The only videogame producer to give Frank Dux nightmares.

8.) Homunculo-Ninja- AKA The Real Ultimate Real Ultimate Power. Last seen- hundreds of years ago. Will probably not conglomerate for a long time due to Ashida Kim's lack of participation (only active when all Real Ninjas combine into their conglomerate form, Ashida's absence makes this impossible, being a real true ninja) Known For Flipping out, killing dinosaurs, sky scrapers, Mega-zords, Mothra, and of course, people. A close ally of Bushido-Lincoln, who being less rad is not on the list.

can anybody else name the other 13?

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

That Acamadia worlds fastest guy with the bizzar web pages.

[SIFU RON]

Right on :cool: IFFMDC

we all recognize them from this em now. :)

Rock On :D

[SIFU RON]

Right on :cool: IFFMDC

we recognize them now. :)

Rock On :D

Humor is good

[ShaoliNeophyte]

I believe there are only 20 now, as one of them (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sho%27nuff_%28character%29) was defeated by Bruce Leroy. :rolleyes:

[osprey3883]

There are indeed 21 Celestial Masters, but I only know the names of 8 of them- can anyone else help out?

Come on now, don't forget Chuck Norris!
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Matt

[lkfmdc]

Rick James, the greatest of the Celestial Grand Masters....

"I'm Rick Celestial Grand Master James Biotch!"