Contoversial though - abused women

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

I just got off the phone with a female I met on Match years ago.

When i met her, she was going through a divorce with a guy who beat her.

Now several years later, she is breaking up with the next guy she was living with, because he beat her as well.

I see a pattern.

My thought however is the problem is not that she picks bad guys, but that she herself literally drives them insane until they explode out of sheer frustration from the pressure and pent up anguish that has built up over time, because of what she puts them through.

I am saying this because her and I have been in contact since the *one* date we went on like 2 years ago.

After meeting her, and talking to her on and off all this time I get the impression that she would drive me bonkers pretty quick. With all the other disasters I have had in recent years, I steered clear of her.


I have seen this in other women over the years as well. Certian women seem to get into physically abusive relationships over, and over again. They seem sweet on the outside, but when you get to know them, especially if they are with freinds of yours, you can see how they could turn a normally docile man into an explosive ball of stress. Thier continual mind games, nagging and emotional manipulation eventually causes the man to lose it and in a moment of blind rage he lashes out and physically attacks.

Now, the common wisdom is that it is allways the man's fault for being violent and abusive. but I am starting to think many of these cases it is actually the WOMANS fault for engaging in a severe Psyc. ops. campaign against her man, in an effort to make him totally subservient to her.


This is a thought that just came to mind today after the conversation with that girl from Match. Any thoughts on this idea? or am I just totally off the mark?

[SoCo KungFu]

Hehe this is like when Barbara Walters interviewed Sean Connery :D

[BM2]

I have been upset before but never have I ever hit a woman:rolleyes:
It demostrates a personality defect in anyone that has hit a woman.
There are males that do this and can tell if a woman is a victim or not and if a woman was exposed to this type of behavior growing up, it seems normal.

[Eddie]

we dont go around beating up our guy friends do we? I have plenty of friends who drives me crazy sometimes, but I wont go and beat them up. This isnt the 7th grade anymore

[NJM]

I just got off the phone with a female I met on Match

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Women are attracted to men who act like their fathers. If her father was abusive, A-BINGO.

Maybe you'll have better luck on Adultfriendfinder RD.

[golden arhat]

whoever's fault it happened to be

i think we can all agree on the fact, women are f@ckin mental!


some girls i know just keep talking and talking and talking and nagging and nagging and acting stupid to get guys to like them and talking and talking and TALKINNG.....


sorry i have to go and hurt the cat now :mad:


having said that there are some very nice girls out there they are few and far apart

[TenTigers]

SoCo-you read my mind!(or at least looked at the pictures.)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3FgMLROTqJ0

[TenTigers]

btw-one of my last gf's asked me,
"Why is it that every girl you have a relationship with, is driven to physical violence against you?"
It's a gift.

[David Jamieson]

heh, a bunch of men trying to get into womens head space is a monumental waste of time.

and that's all im gonna say about it.

I wouldn't blame the victim in any crime though.

[shadowlin]

I wouldn't blame the victim in any crime though.

Don't call it blame. Just call it karma. We all own our karma, as much as that may suck. Even completely innocent victims of "random" crime wouldn't be victims without some specific choice made.

If you believe in Cause and Effect paradigm, of course.

[Mook Jong]

Sorry, i refuse to believe that women get beaten because they didn't follow their dharma properly a hundred years ago. Maybe this is kind of a touchy subject bc my female friends keep telling me about exes who have hit them or currents who have been coming close (keep in mind i'm 19, so i have these silly concepts of pride and a want to look after my she-bros)

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

I don't think it's right for a man to hit a woman...or even a woman to hit a man.

However this recent conversation has me thinking that the Women who are in cycles of relationships like this, are causing the emotional turmoil that leads to physical outbursts.

Say we have a guy who was with such a girl, and eventually he erupts into a physical attack after months of psychological abuse and warefare from her.

The relationship breaks up, and he eventually heals, finds another girl and everything is fine.

The GIRL on the other hand, after the break up, finds another guy,and in 6 months that NEW guy beats her too.

The same thing happens, they split up, and guy # 2 finds happiness in his new relationship and never strikes physically again.

Same girl finds guy 3, who has allways been kind and gentile and treated his women well.....6 months later he's hitting her.

I am just seeing a possible pattern with chronically abused women that goes deeper than the old adage "They pick the wrong guys habitually".

I see these same girls having many drama filled relationships with arguments and hurt feeling where the guy leaves long before it gets physical as well. Or in the case with the girl i met on Match, where I never went beyond one date with her in the first place.

[sanjuro_ronin]

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Women are attracted to men who act like their fathers. If her father was abusive, A-BINGO.

Maybe you'll have better luck on Adultfriendfinder RD.

LMAO !!!!!
Nice.

[Mook Jong]

I see what you're getting at RD, but i feel like part of it would still be the guy. Maybe this is just a bias i have, but i feel like a guy needs to have some sort of pre-disposition for violence for that to be a factor. I can honestly say that no matter how much a girl nags and annoys me i would not strike her unless something snapped. In fact, the only way i would is if she hit me in the stones. Then all bets are off

[shadowlin]

Sorry, i refuse to believe that women get beaten because they didn't follow their dharma properly a hundred years ago. Maybe this is kind of a touchy subject bc my female friends keep telling me about exes who have hit them or currents who have been coming close (keep in mind i'm 19, so i have these silly concepts of pride and a want to look after my she-bros)

I'm not talking about the past life. I'm talking about moment to moment choices. Where a choice to not look one way could get you run into by a drunk driver. Are you to blame? No, but you certainly made the choice to be there.


Take the bird and baseball clip. The bird certainly isn't to blame, but if it hadn't flown (in all places no less) in front of the fast ball, it would have lived.


The victim is never to blame. But many women do make poor choices and it doesn't help when their vibe attracts those men. It's a sad cycle, but the woman has to break it.

[AJM]

we dont go around beating up our guy friends do we? I have plenty of friends who drives me crazy sometimes, but I wont go and beat them up. This isnt the 7th grade anymore


Score! This is why good fences make good neighbors.

[AJM]

heh, a bunch of men trying to get into womens head space is a monumental waste of time.

and that's all im gonna say about it.

I wouldn't blame the victim in any crime though.

David is starting to scare me with his wisdom.

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

I see what you're getting at RD, but i feel like part of it would still be the guy

Reply]
I tend to agree, but it's not the hitting part. By that point he has been driven to a point of temporary insanity and is not in control of his actions.

His fault is much further back. He should realize there is a Psycops campaign being thrust apon him, and that he's with a crazy mental case that cannot be reasoned with...and leave.

I think the mental state these guys are put into is kind of like a brainwashing. They slowly get sucked in untill they are too deep in to see what they are stuck in.
Finnally once day after months and months of being the victim of emotional, mental warefare, they snap, and strike out against the source of thier mental anguish.

Hopefully it's a wakeup call to him, and he is smart enough to get out then and there; however what generally seems to happen is he becomes so wrought with guilt that he tries to atone for his sins. What she sees, is that she finnally has the desired power over him that she craves and relaxes. They make up, things are fine again and they continue on.

As more time rolls on and normalcy returns, deep down he feels he has atoned for his sins and steps out from under her dominance. Once this happens, she starts to feel the loss of controll, and the psycops war on him begins again..till he is driven to temporary insanity once again and the cycle starts a new once more.

The only way for a guy to escape is to wake up and realize he is the victim of severe mental abuse and get out of the relationship.

Guys that find themselves in this type of relationship need some psychological help, not for beating the woman, but for letting themselves stay in a relationship that is clearly horrible for him emotionally and destructive to his sanity. They need to learn to see woman for what they really are, Sex objects, instead of getting so attached that the loss is a mortal wound...because women like this will use that in thier warefare everytime.

[Mook Jong]

I'm not talking about the past life. I'm talking about moment to moment choices. Where a choice to not look one way could get you run into by a drunk driver. Are you to blame? No, but you certainly made the choice to be there.


Take the bird and baseball clip. The bird certainly isn't to blame, but if it hadn't flown (in all places no less) in front of the fast ball, it would have lived.


The victim is never to blame. But many women do make poor choices and it doesn't help when their vibe attracts those men. It's a sad cycle, but the woman has to break it.

Isn't the point of karma that it carries over from from one life to another? or are you talking karma in a looser sense, almost more akin to descion making, bc then i have no real problem with what you said, or at least not as major an issue

[Mook Jong]

RD:

I can understand where you're coming from but i doubt we're going to see eye to eye on this. In my experience, which i openly admit is very modest, it's that the guy has been pushed a little bit and feels the need to assert himself and then she ends up getting hit. I've never known any woman to actively drive a man insane like that but this is a crazy world, so i don't doubt that there are people out there who fit your exact scenario

[Becca]

Sorry, i refuse to believe that women get beaten because they didn't follow their dharma properly a hundred years ago. Maybe this is kind of a touchy subject bc my female friends keep telling me about exes who have hit them or currents who have been coming close (keep in mind i'm 19, so i have these silly concepts of pride and a want to look after my she-bros)
agreed. I had a series of very bad relationships. Then I figurd out that, since all 3 were more or less the same on the inside and difernt on the outside, I must be picking them by what I saw on the inside. I descided to take a year off of relationships. That was, like, 5 years or so ago. It dawned on me that I didn't really want to be in a relationship, but was listening to the popular opinion that all people who are normal want a relationship. So I quit allowing myself to be set up and such. And now I'm actually happy... Not that I've forsworn relationships period, I do still date. I guess when the right person comes along, I'll be ready. In the meen time, I just don't want to mess with it. I have noticed that I've gotten better at "reading" people, though.

[kwaichang]

Having done extensive research in this subject , both Psychologically and otherwise , Stay tuned for a more personal and extensive post. Later
BTW physical violence in relationships is approx 60 % men on women and 40% women on men. Keep in mind though more women report it on avg. than men do so it is prob more equal. KC:mad::o