D-FENS
07-29-2008, 11:15 AM
Relationship advice badly needed.
I don't know how to say this without sounding like a shallow, self-absorbed a-hole, but here goes.
Back story: Last year I met this wonderful girl online, the sweetest, most generous girl anyone could ask for. She does everything for me, wrote to me when I was in jail, always knits me stuff, etc. Despite all the bad press about LD relationships, We are very much in love and up until recently I was planning to move out to Texas to be with her.
The problem is, although I love her to death and would do anything in the world for her, the fact is that I am simply not sexually attracted to her. The reason for this is she is siginificantly overweight, does not take care of herself, do housework, dishes, etc and as a result her house is a mess too. Like a lot of girls, her father did a mind job on her early on, and basically this is her way of "rebelling" against him and society. She's also on meds for severe bipolar, and although I have presented her with alternative options for taking care of her health she has made it clear that she is not going to change and it will be this way forever. I feel horrible about this, but attraction is a physical thing, and I'm pretty sure without that component we'll either grow to resent each other or one of us is gonna end up cheating.
Don't get me wrong...I've never loved anyone as much as her, and would rather eat my own turd on a baguette than hurt her, but I fear it will only end up hurting her more in the long run if we continue to live a lie. Should I be honest with her, even if it means enduring the temporary pain of a breakup? I know she'll be devastated, but I really hope we can eventually remain friends because it would kill me to lose her completely. She's my second "Great One" for all you Bronx Tale fans.
Help!! I need The Wolf! :cool:
I don't know how to say this without sounding like a shallow, self-absorbed a-hole, but here goes.
Back story: Last year I met this wonderful girl online, the sweetest, most generous girl anyone could ask for. She does everything for me, wrote to me when I was in jail, always knits me stuff, etc. Despite all the bad press about LD relationships, We are very much in love and up until recently I was planning to move out to Texas to be with her.
The problem is, although I love her to death and would do anything in the world for her, the fact is that I am simply not sexually attracted to her. The reason for this is she is siginificantly overweight, does not take care of herself, do housework, dishes, etc and as a result her house is a mess too. Like a lot of girls, her father did a mind job on her early on, and basically this is her way of "rebelling" against him and society. She's also on meds for severe bipolar, and although I have presented her with alternative options for taking care of her health she has made it clear that she is not going to change and it will be this way forever. I feel horrible about this, but attraction is a physical thing, and I'm pretty sure without that component we'll either grow to resent each other or one of us is gonna end up cheating.
Don't get me wrong...I've never loved anyone as much as her, and would rather eat my own turd on a baguette than hurt her, but I fear it will only end up hurting her more in the long run if we continue to live a lie. Should I be honest with her, even if it means enduring the temporary pain of a breakup? I know she'll be devastated, but I really hope we can eventually remain friends because it would kill me to lose her completely. She's my second "Great One" for all you Bronx Tale fans.
Help!! I need The Wolf! :cool: