Do you teach your kids to fight?

[GreenCloudCLF]

This is an off-shoot of the other thread. Your child comes home and complains they are being bullied. They told the teacher, as a good parent you sepak to the teacher. It happens again. Do you tell your child to end it themselves with a nice shot to the nose, or do you go through the "conventional" mediation offered at the public schools?

[EarthDragon]

Old school baby, I tried using the system it doesnt work . its like the court system if works for the courts interest..... not yours... do it the old fashion way. all the counciling wont like an old fashion a$$ whoopin

[Lucas]

This is an off-shoot of the other thread. Your child comes home and complains they are being bullied. They told the teacher, as a good parent you sepak to the teacher. It happens again. Do you tell your child to end it themselves with a nice shot to the nose, or do you go through the "conventional" mediation offered at the public schools?

the first time i got bullied ( i was the new kid every year or 2 due to dads career) my pops showed me how to box a bit. so that i could stand up for myself.

the next time i got bullied i gave the kid a bloody nose and he left me alone.

[uki]

yes. i told my 8 year old that if someone punches her at school again to turn around and knock them out... my dad never taught me to fight back, he taught me the christian goody two shoes, to let them strike you on the other cheek. not me, headbutt all the way, cuz if you don't teach them while they are young, they're likely to be a door mat for the rest of their life.

[sanjuro_ronin]

yes. i told my 8 year old that if someone punches her at school again to turn around and knock them out... my dad never taught me to fight back, he taught me the christian goody two shoes, to let them strike you on the other cheek. not me, headbutt all the way, cuz if you don't teach them while they are young, they're likely to be a door mat for the rest of their life.

I was brought up to be a good christian, never had any issues myself and never been a door mat.

[uki]

I was brought up to be a good christian, never had any issues myself and never been a door mat.yet how would you have dealt with an issue if it so arrived? did you live the sheltered life?

[sanjuro_ronin]

yet how would you have dealt with an issue if it so arrived? did you live the sheltered life?

Oh yes, very sheltered !
:D

Nah dude, I was born and raised in Europe, bounced for years and served as a peackeeper in Bosnia.
Hardly sheltered.

[GreenCloudCLF]

yes. i told my 8 year old that if someone punches her at school again to turn around and knock them out... my dad never taught me to fight back, he taught me the christian goody two shoes, to let them strike you on the other cheek. not me, headbutt all the way, cuz if you don't teach them while they are young, they're likely to be a door mat for the rest of their life.

Hell must have frozen over. Uki and I agree on something. I have told my daughter, more times than I would like to count, that if she is bothered, hit em. I will be happy to go to the principal's office and explain that the school's inability to handle a bullying situation resulted in my child's need to defend herself.

Now if she would just listen...

[uki]

Now if she would just listen...i feel sorry for the sucker she finally pops. :D

[GreenCloudCLF]

i feel sorry for the sucker she finally pops. :D

It will definitely be a "repressed rage" strike with all the force that that entails.

[WinterPalm]

I don't have any kids.

My cat has good reflexes though, and I harass him a lot, so I guess I suggest hitting the bully back...hard. Two eyes for an eye leaves the one eyed man in charge.:D


:cool:

[uki]

I don't have any kids.you're missing out.


My cat has good reflexes though, and I harass him a lot, so I guess I suggest hitting the bully back...hard. i once was playing monkey in the middle with an empty plastic soda bottle and a pitbull, i decided to give it a slight wing on the arse with the soda bottle and the pitbull promptly turned around and bit my calf.


Two eyes for an eye leaves the one eyed man in charge.and an eye for an eye will leave the one eyed man blind. :D

[Oso]

i have a student that's been with me since he was 7...he's now 10...very small kid...he's the one i have on my youtube page doing some forms and some sparring.

he's compact, but very small for his age...his parents are both very small, mom is about 5' and dad is about 5'3" or so.

very good kinesthetic awareness, can replicate almost everything I show him the first time within like 80% accuracy.


but, he's a sweet kid...and a pacifist by nature as well as nurture due to his parents ideology...

and he get's picked on...by both boys and girls...

his mom came to me about it and wanted me to teach him how to fight back.

I made sure she realized that in schools, it doesn't matter who starts it...everyone involved generally gets punished the same.

she didn't care...she wanted him to fight back.

so, i talked to him some...he won't...doesn't want to...fight back...though he can do very well in sparring...he does better against the adults than against the 12 year old girl that's also in class...

people are, well, people...it's been interesting to watch him develop as a person over the last three years and hopefully he will stick with it for a while


and my hope is, to learn that it is ok to fight back sometimes.

but, if he doesn't...if he always wants to turn the other cheek...well, that's ok too...no my ideology but I can't fault him if it's his.

[BoulderDawg]

What I think is funny that everyone on this thread were either bullied themselves or their children have been bullied. Nobody's kid ever starts anything....they were always protecting themselves.

In at least half of these cases the kid has the parents wrapped around their little finger.

[Oso]

and you're just making yourself sound like an ass.

while there are certainly kids that start crap and then try to pass the blame, there are plenty of purely innocent kids that are getting picked on by the growing number of *******s getting their start at younger and younger ages.

[uki]

while there are certainly kids that start crap and then try to pass the blame, true, these children usually are the ones that grow up to either be on the high school football and wrestling teams.

there are plenty of purely innocent kids that are getting picked on by the growing number of *******s getting their start at younger and younger ages.i agree... my daughter is a hyper-active golden dragon, a bruising tomboy of a girl, jumps on all the boys in school, yet she has a soft spot when all the "popular" girls pick on her and tease her because of her name... i believe the mentality is instigated on children and teenager geared television shows, because if you notice, in each one there is always the picked on nerdy groups and the upscale snobby groups. i believe children are high influenced by the television, this is the reason so many kids act like a walking staurday morning cartoon. i was one of the ones picked on alright... a hearing aide, glasses, from a poor family growing up, red hair, asthma, and skinny... i had no chance. :D

[Baqualin]

and you're just making yourself sound like an ass.

while there are certainly kids that start crap and then try to pass the blame, there are plenty of purely innocent kids that are getting picked on by the growing number of *******s getting their start at younger and younger ages.

Thank you...saved me some typing.
BQ

[Baqualin]

My dad told me at a young age that if I got my a$$ whipped at school, I would get it whipped again when I got home.....I was a lot more scared of him than anyone at school.....so I lied:D

[TenTigers]

My stepdaughters were half Asian, and took alot of flak when they moved down here from Syracuse, and entered the new school. Hard enough being the new kids, harder still being ethnic, harder still being cute and getting the attention of the boys. Wasn't long before they were gettin picked on by the local cliques.

They stood up for themselves, and when they took care of business, we beat the school principle to the punch. We came storming in, and demanded to know why our girls were getting picked on, and why their school could do nothing about it. I also told them that if they couldn't protect our daughters, then they better protect their bullies, because I trained them to protect themselves, and I could give a rat's a** about their "zero tolerance policy," and I have a zero tolerance policy of my own. We then took our daughters out to IHOP and a movie.

We did this every time one of my girls had to defend themselves.
Later on, my eldest found a better way. She pulled "A Bronx Tale" on them. She brought these three girls into an empty classroom, and locked the door.
("Now youse can't leave..")
She said,"One at a time, or all at once-either way, none of you are walking out of here!" They begged and pleaded,and cried, and she let them go. Problem solved. No teachers, no suspension,
and she still gets to go to IHOP and a movie.

(my kids are much tougher than me)

[BoulderDawg]

I've worked with kids in the past. The bullies are usually the first ones saying "I was being picked on", "He started it" "Can't you take a joke"

And, from my experience, if the bullies parents get involved you usually get "Little Johnny is a good kid" "He was being picked on" "The teacher is playing favorites" or "What's the big deal" from at least half of them. These parents are also the worst when it comes to shouting, threats and name calling to the professionals there to handle the situation. Then from about half of what's left you get various comments which all adds up to "I don't care".

Most good counselors that I know usually size up parents within a couple of minutes after they meet. Very few even admit their kid is a bully and fewer than that agree to do something about it.

[TenTigers]

True in many cases. I've seen more than my share of bullies and spoiled parents.
I have also made **** sure that my girls were never the ones to start trouble. They have never started trouble, always showed compassion, and would befriend the kids who were singled out, and picked on, rather than trying to be in the "in crowd." They had a sense of fairness and justice. They felt for kids that were picked on, or singled out because they weren't pretty enough, or athletic enough, or whatever enough.

Maybe that comes from their past experience of being the ones who were bullied, or the fact that as older students in the Mo-Kwoon, they helped all the beginners-many who were from their own schools, who were picked on as well, so they learned that people are people, and no matter what social cliques they ran with, on the inside we are all the same. Perhaps that it was the experience they recieved tutoring other students in the after school programs.


My guess is they had me for a Dad...

[Lucas]

being the new kid on a pretty regular basis, i learned pretty quickly that the new kid is always an open target. someone is always looking to have a good laugh, or boost their ego at the new kids expense.

as a very young kid i just got picked on, until my dad taught how to stand up for myself, and instilled in me the the mindset of why we do this.

after the first couple times in new schools i also learned most bullies are just insecure wimps. as i would start in new schools i would just wait for it. i could usually tell who the arses would be. after you stand up for yourself and bloody them, or throw a desk at them, they generally are going to leave you alone. sometimes they become your friend.

personally im glad i learned to stand up for myself.

imo if someone is being bullied, its very unhealthy to just keep that inside.

thats where these mass school shootings come from sometimes. years of repressed emotions. you cant just bottle up anger and fear forever, it eventually explodes.

[Baqualin]

Yes I did teach my kids to fight....see attached of my oldest son....no bully.....but never took any sh!t.....great morals....very proud of him.:)
BQ

[sanjuro_ronin]

Yes I did teach my kids to fight....see attached of my oldest son....no bully.....but never took any sh!t.....great morals....very proud of him.:)
BQ

Airborne.
Nice.
Congrats.

[Baqualin]

Airborne.
Nice.
Congrats.

Thanks SJ!!! Means a lot coming from you....he worked with a couple of snipes in Afghanistan ......really liked em and got to be good buddies with them......they covered his a$$ while the unit was repairing bridges.
BQ

[SIFU RON]

good work TenTigers - good work everyone.

One of my students ( 10 years old) protected himself from the " tuff kid" , he knocked the bully on his butt and only in self-defense. My student told me about it seeking my opinion. I asked him how many friends the bully had, he had one. I advised my student to " watch his back" as these guys will probably hit ya from behind when your not looking.

Sure enough that's what happened but my student saw the punch coming in ( from a side angel) and whipped this idot again while the bullie's pal stood looking and schocked. I did what you did TenTigers, I hit the priciples office first thing and made our case, the principle told me the rule in school is you can't fight back, you have to tell your teacher and the principle and they will make a decision.

Ever heard of self-defense ? What are you suposed to do wake up dead ? Or wake up face all broken in, damged, or up unable to move ? How about wake up in the Hospital. That was my response . They transferred the bully to a different school.

[Oso]

true, these children usually are the ones that grow up to either be on the high school football and wrestling teams.





i'm afraid i have to take umbrage at that: i was on the wrestling team and in general, the only *******s were the guys that were also football players.
it became a great pleasure to me to watch whenever each season started and the few football players who had not wrestled tried out for wrestling...probably 3 out of 4 that tried the first practice never came back...big, yes...strong, yes...but, like i used to tell the girls in school: if you want a guy that can go longer than 10-15 seconds straight, date a wrestler. :D

[Violent Designs]

Man I used to get picked on in middle school.

A lot of repressed anger and hate.

Didn't know how to fight. Small, weak, etc. Racism abound as well.

Then I learned CLF and then I got addicted to fighting.

Now my friends say I am addicted to violence.

I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, LOL.

But if someone wants to start **** now, I put a chop choy to their solar plexus.

[Oso]

why you want to hit them with chinese food????

better to eat it and get strong!

then fight back!

:D

[uki]

But if someone wants to start **** now, I put a chop choy to their solar plexus.i'm the kinda guy that lets them strike first. :D

[TenTigers]

i'm the kinda guy that lets them strike first. :D
then with your other eye you can....?

[uki]

then with your other eye you can....?who said anything about getting hit first? :)

[Violent Designs]

i'm the kinda guy that lets them strike first. :D

Yeah let them attack first. They can strike first. I'll hit first.

Chop choy cut their ****ing bridge down right into their center.

If that doesn't do it then gwa sau.

If that doesn't do it clinch and knee and elbow.

[bawang]

i think you need to teach your childrens morals also, or you desensitise them to violence and they grow up to be cereal merderers :eek:

like amazing spider man say, with great poewr come great responsilibiles!

[Jack Straw]

i think you need to teach your childrens morals also, or you desensitise them to violence and they grow up to be cereal merderers :eek:

like amazing spider man say, with great poewr come great responsilibiles!

I agree. My children will know how to defend themselves, but the morals and when to use the skill I teach them is all part of the lesson. A violent man dies a violent death.

[uki]

I agree. My children will know how to defend themselves, but the morals and when to use the skill I teach them is all part of the lesson. A violent man dies a violent death.its all a matter of respect... you don't mess with me and i won't mess with you... my children are taught the same, be polite, say please and thank you, hold the doors for people, mind your own buisness... too many people get worked up over words these days, as if they aren't emotionally mature enough to take some name calling, but getting called names is not a disrespectful action... but if some one blantantly disrespects you by hitting you?? knock em out... cold... or die trying. :)

my friend once told me that nothing bothers him until his space is violated and his space was defined by the reach of his out-stretched arms and legs from a standing position, like an aura field or other form of imaginary bubble. so it is within these parameters that i teach my children.