tales from the whoop-a$$ can

[uki]

so they can be tales where you dragged their face down a chain-link fence or they can be tales where you had your face stomped... with all this high school macho man note passing going on around here, i'd thought it would be nice to steal KC's idea and turn it into my own thread... :p

so here are a few of my favorite true and honest stories, in shortened verisions mind you.

1997, garmisch-partenkirchn, germany... i was denied entry to a pub, started mouthing off to the bouncer, got punched in the face with a glass bierstein... broke my glasses, otherwise unharmed - just abit dazed and confused.

1997, athens, greece... got beat with police nightsticks for sleeping in an abandon train car with refugees from kurdistan... three days later i got beat again for attempting the same thing. :D

1998, bistrita, romania... i got punched in the head the entire way out of the disco hall - i had two black eyes and a cracked sinus.

1998, crystal river, florida... headbutted a gulf war veteran who was talking poo our house party - he subsquently grabbed me by the ears and smashed my face with his forehead... broke my nose and cracked my sinus... again.

i effectively started my martial arts training this incarnation in the middle of 1998 under marilyn cooper.

new years eve, 1999, sleepyhollow bar, florida... watching my brother play in his country band at a biker bar; my moms husband punched my pregnant ex in the head... he was 280lbs, 6'4"... i laid him out three times... the third time was a double front kick to his chest... my right hip has never been the same after landing on the asphalt parking lot, but witnesses told me he went sailing.

2001, stroudsburg, pa... slept with my current girlfriend before she was my girlfriend... LOL... her boyfriend at the time got 7 of his pals to call me up and talk the poo while i was drinking rum and coke... after the initial poo-talking i was compelled to let it alone and as i turned my back to them, one guy grabbed me from behind and i instinctively stepped behind him while pushing his head down, followed thru with a solid fist to the triple burner flash point behind the ear and knocked him out cold... his friends called me a puss thru the mail slot after i turned around and gave them my back once again and walked away. :rolleyes:

sometime in like 2004 i got in a confrontation with someone and headbutted them and effectively cracked their sinus... LOL... we slipped around on the blood in the kitchen floor until we were pulled apart.

i have also knocked someones front tooth out after they got involved with my parenting methods. LOL. i got a 4000 dollar pin in my hand from that one...

aside from that, most of my life has become more calm since i became a mason and grew even bigger b@lls of steel. :D

[goju]

my girl freind slammed my head in the door when i was seven
and i slapped a pakistani kid once in the seventh grade and he ran away lol

[goju]

lol what^^^^

make some sense please

[IronWeasel]

Training 5 years from your uncle was he an international spy or something traveling the world, you are such a liar KC



More grammar and punctuation, please.

[lkfmdc]

Oh my G'd, that loser just deleted his thread again? :rolleyes:

Kwaichang started that thread to act all tough and try and build himself up, only to FAIL again! Senility maybe? That thread was embarassing for the old guy

[goju]

it hink we are going to drive poor kc insane
lol and he wants to spar me i allready got in his head he would just scream and flail like a girl if we met

[uki]

sweet baby jesus i though this would be a seriously serious thread...

[taai gihk yahn]

sweet baby jesus i though this would be a seriously serious thread...

bro, what forum do you think you've been posting on?

[uki]

bro, what forum do you think you've been posting on?quite obviously one that is worth my time and energy. :D

[goju]

um youve seen my picture im not fat nor am i bald

as far as you calling somebody else a liar
ahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahaah

[uki]

None are worth your time and energy posting on here makes you end up like lk and goju fat bald and a liar better to train and be happy KCso how do you justify all your time and energy spent on here? obviously its worth something to you...

[taai gihk yahn]

so how do you justify all your time and energy spent on here? obviously its worth something to you...

he also makes the mistake of thinking of you as his ally, LOL

as far as the forum, it's not a question of time or energy - that's your affair, of course, how you spend it, no judgement on that from me - I was talking about in regards to things going from serious to inane in a matter of a few posts - that's the KFMF we all know and love!

[strolls of, whistling Kwaichang's theme song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud7YNNA0Mwo)]

[Lokhopkuen]

so they can be tales where you dragged their face down a chain-link fence or they can be tales where you had your face stomped... with all this high school macho man note passing going on around here, i'd thought it would be nice to steal KC's idea and turn it into my own thread... :p

so here are a few of my favorite true and honest stories, in shortened verisions mind you.

1997, garmisch-partenkirchn, germany... i was denied entry to a pub, started mouthing off to the bouncer, got punched in the face with a glass bierstein... broke my glasses, otherwise unharmed - just abit dazed and confused.

1997, athens, greece... got beat with police nightsticks for sleeping in an abandon train car with refugees from kurdistan... three days later i got beat again for attempting the same thing. :D

1998, bistrita, romania... i got punched in the head the entire way out of the disco hall - i had two black eyes and a cracked sinus.

1998, crystal river, florida... headbutted a gulf war veteran who was talking poo our house party - he subsquently grabbed me by the ears and smashed my face with his forehead... broke my nose and cracked my sinus... again.

i effectively started my martial arts training this incarnation in the middle of 1998 under marilyn cooper.

new years eve, 1999, sleepyhollow bar, florida... watching my brother play in his country band at a biker bar; my moms husband punched my pregnant ex in the head... he was 280lbs, 6'4"... i laid him out three times... the third time was a double front kick to his chest... my right hip has never been the same after landing on the asphalt parking lot, but witnesses told me he went sailing.

2001, stroudsburg, pa... slept with my current girlfriend before she was my girlfriend... LOL... her boyfriend at the time got 7 of his pals to call me up and talk the poo while i was drinking rum and coke... after the initial poo-talking i was compelled to let it alone and as i turned my back to them, one guy grabbed me from behind and i instinctively stepped behind him while pushing his head down, followed thru with a solid fist to the triple burner flash point behind the ear and knocked him out cold... his friends called me a puss thru the mail slot after i turned around and gave them my back once again and walked away. :rolleyes:

sometime in like 2004 i got in a confrontation with someone and headbutted them and effectively cracked their sinus... LOL... we slipped around on the blood in the kitchen floor until we were pulled apart.

i have also knocked someones front tooth out after they got involved with my parenting methods. LOL. i got a 4000 dollar pin in my hand from that one...

aside from that, most of my life has become more calm since i became a mason and grew even bigger b@lls of steel. :D

You the Sh^t Uki:D

[uki]

You the Sh^t Uki:Di can't say i am bragging or anything... the truth hurts sometimes. :D

[Yao Sing]

In the First Grade I talked a couple of other guys into jumping the biggest kid in the class (I was a small, skinny little kid) when the teacher left the room. I remember him tossing me into a desk and I had a big lump on my head that burned for hours.

The teacher came back in right after that so it didn't last long but I remember thinking "This is great". I went straight to the principal's office after that one.

For the girls reading this yes guys are dumb but that's our idea of fun.

My wife is still amazed at the UFC. She always makes a comment watching it that she can't believe guys get into a ring and punch each other in the head for fun.

I just tell her the same thing as when I get busted oogling a hot chick, she just doesn't have enough testosterone to fully appreciate it.

[TenTigers]

I choked a chicken once.


ok, more than once.....

[uki]

I choked a chicken once.


ok, more than once.....did it puke? :p

[Lokhopkuen]

I never fight or drag faces down the chain link.
I live a life of righteous peace and love:rolleyes:

LMAO!!

[uki]

I live a life of righteous peace and love.the city of angels...

[LSWCTN1]

This thread is too funny!

Thought I would share some of my funnier ‘earlier experiences’ with you all

About 6 ½ years ago I moved from Lancashire to Kent, I was being driven down the road by my Dad and we saw, up a side street, some guy beating on his girlfriend so we pulled over and jumped out. There was people all around watching it but nobody had tried to stop it

Dad called across to the guy as we ran towards him ‘why don’t you try that on me?’. My Dad’s a bit out of shape nowadays so I managed to get to them first – lucky me! The guy was about 35 and I wasn’t even 17. Great. He went for me so I moved out of the way and just hit him with all that I had. Luckily it dropped him like the sack of sh!t he was, and I came up with some witty retort like ‘try picking on someone your own size next time’ (he was probably around 16st, I was 11st at the time!). any way after the few seconds (no more than 30) this took his beat-up missus got up and started hitting me with her shoe telling me that ‘’you don’t know what you’ve done now’. I still have mixed emotions about that to this day

Another one was about 2 years ago in a nightclub...

I was talking to my friend on some steps (2/3 steps) with my back to the VIP arena, facing the dance floor . the lights come on for the end of the night, and I’m still chit-chatting to my pal. Theres a voice at the back of the VIP arena that asks us to move along (we weren’t blocking anyones exit, just hanging around for too long I guess). He asked polite enough, so I replied saying ‘shan’t be a sec’. All of a sudden the same bouncer is screaming ‘I told you to ****ING MOVE’. As I turned around to face this idiot I saw it was a bouncer that had got really ars£y earlier on when I accidently brushed passed him as our paths crossed, for which I apolgised. Must have been the steroids I guess. I started to say ‘thats the second time tonight that you’ve kicked off for no reason’ but before I’d even finished he’d ran up to me and grabbed me (sorta from behind) in a headlock. Now if you’ve ever been in a headlock you will realise how dumb they are – however, they must also have expressed their inferior qualities at Thug School 101 when this bouncer attended, because he didn’t stop when he ran towards me. He carried on running with me in a headlock! It only took a couple of seconds before I was really struggling to breathe so I started wriggling about to free myself. Thats when he started to puch me too. Now we have really fallen out...

He got to the stairwell to take me up it and out of the club, but the guy is genuinely that big he couldn’t fit me and him through the door together. He stopped for a split second so I tripped the aggressive water balloon up and proceeded to stamp all over his pretty little face

Not a good idea. I knocked the guy out badly, but all his fat friends came along and beat my head off of the metal stairwell. Not only that, but they ripped my favourite jumper. Wasn’t my best night! :o

There was also the time(s) I got ‘banned for life’ from the local st!thole club 7 times in 8 weeks!

A misspent youth, combined with a pretty girl (or two) and alcohol :cool:

Hardly drink at all now :eek:

[Taryn P.]

any way after the few seconds (no more than 30) this took his beat-up missus got up and started hitting me with her shoe telling me that ‘’you don’t know what you’ve done now’. I still have mixed emotions about that to this day


This is very common, unfortunately.... anyone who intervenes in a "domestic dispute" would be well advised to not turn their back on the girl, because she won't be saying "My hero!"; you'll be going Round 2 with HER. :mad:

[CFT]

This is very common, unfortunately.... anyone who intervenes in a "domestic dispute" would be well advised to not turn their back on the girl, because she won't be saying "My hero!"; you'll be going Round 2 with HER. :mad:That's because when the "hero" leaves, she will get it 10x worse! It takes a lot for a woman to break out of an abusive relationship.

[LSWCTN1]

That's because when the "hero" leaves, she will get it 10x worse! It takes a lot for a woman to break out of an abusive relationship.

i dont know about 'hero' but i stopped to save her bacon as it were.

once she said that i realised that i may have caused even more trouble, its not a nice feeling

also, her reaction proved that it wasnt the first or the last time...

[Taryn P.]

i dont know about 'hero' but i stopped to save her bacon as it were.

once she said that i realised that i may have caused even more trouble, its not a nice feeling

also, her reaction proved that it wasnt the first or the last time...

There are no good options in that situation. You *have* to intervene, but it sucks to know that you're risking your life in a physical confrontation that's almost certainly not going to do any good in the big picture.

This was also the setting of my only real physical "fight" to date. It was long before I had any training of any sort.... in fact I was only about 13 or so. It played a big part in my decision to study the martial arts. I'll never forget the feeling of knowing that I *had* to physically intervene in the next few seconds or else I would be witnessing a murder... along with the helpless knowledge that I simply did not possess the tools needed to get the job done. I don't want to ever find myself in that place again.

[David Jamieson]

I'd give you a laundry list, but it doesn't mean much.

:)