Let's Play a Political Game...

[dimethylsea]

This is a game I like to play while drinking with my buddies...

The rules are simple.

You pick something which is stereotypically a liberal or conservative position. The more extreme the better... but THEN you have to invent a rationale for it.. based on it's stereotypical opposite. It is a very good game for developing one's wits and political humor.

Here are some examples...

WE MUST HAVE ABORTION ON DEMAND... because otherwise we will be over-run with minorities who breed freely.
(This is a liberal position-- justified by an exagerated ultra-conservative position).

in the other corner..

WE MUST HAVE AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FOR EVERY CITIZEN... because otherwise how will the laboring masses overthrow the capitalists and asset their claim on the means of production?
(This is a conservative position.. justified by Karl Effin Marx/ Das Kapital.).

Things like this.. if you are smart enough and have enough humor.. feel free to play.

[KC Elbows]

We must protect the citizens from themselves in order to maintain them in a state of constant consumerism.

I'm not sure I'm good at this game.

[Drake]

WE MUST STOP FIGHTING TERRORISTS AND HUG THEM... if we show them the power of love, it will warm their hearts and they would never, ever harm us infidels and embrace us as non-muslims...

[KC Elbows]

WE MUST STOP FIGHTING TERRORISTS AND HUG THEM... if we show them the power of love, it will warm their hearts and they would never, ever harm us infidels and embrace us as non-muslims...

How does that show both extremes?

We must espouse Christian values in order to teach the value of anything anyone believes.

[dimethylsea]

Guys guys guys.. you aren't getting the game..

The first part is the straight line.. the second part is the witty rationalization.

And the point of the game is to leave the reader unsure as to what your own actual beliefs are..


for instance...

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION MUST BE MAINTAINED... it's the only way blacks will be kept dependent on a government designed by white men!

or from the other side of the aisle...

TAXES MUST BE AS LOW AS POSSIBLE.. that way the inflation brought on by deficit spending will usher in societal collapse.. and thus.. the Revolution.

[dimethylsea]

WE MUST STOP FIGHTING TERRORISTS AND HUG THEM... if we show them the power of love, it will warm their hearts and they would never, ever harm us infidels and embrace us as non-muslims...


No no no... like this Drake..

WE MUST FIGHT TERRORISTS UNCEASINGLY.. only when Islam appears destroyed can we practically manage to import vast numbers of North African and Middle Eastern immigrants to destroy the racial purity of Europe.

or..

WE MUST STOP THE WAR ON TERROR.. only in this way can we lure Islam into a sense of complacency, sell McDonald's franchises, cheat them out of their oil, and infect them with greed on a institutional scale!

Notice.. the first appears conservative.. but actually is a caricature of a liberal.

The second appears liberal.. but in fact is a caricature of conservatism.

[Xiao3 Meng4]

Abortionists should be executed for murder (pro-life + capital punishment).

[Xiao3 Meng4]

Heh, rereading the rules, here's my second try...

Canada must continue its mission in Afghanistan - only once stability is achieved in the region can the military once again shift its resources towards peacekeeping.

Or

Canada must get out of Afghanistan - only once we've pulled out completely will our true enemies again reveal themselves.

I don't think I'm very good at this either.

[dimethylsea]

Heh, rereading the rules, here's my second try...

Canada must continue its mission in Afghanistan - only once stability is achieved in the region can the military once again shift its resources towards peacekeeping.

Or

Canada must get out of Afghanistan - only once we've pulled out completely will our true enemies again reveal themselves.

I don't think I'm very good at this either.


Try it like this...

CANADA MUST WITHDRAW FROM AFGHANISTAN.. only once they've pulled out completely will we be able to employ widespread use of tactical nuclear weapons against suspect Taliban strongholds!

The trick is to make up a reason that is really crazy.. in a politically opposite sort of way.

We like to drink beer and do this.. after the first 3 beers or so.. you start collaborating.

One of my buddies came up with..

MARIJUANA MUST BE MADE COMPLETELY LEGAL.. that way all people who would smoke pot if they could can be identified by their red eyes and executed in mass.

[KC Elbows]

We need to legislate what happens in the bedroom, this will lead to dissatisfaction with hetero sex, playing directly into the gay agenda.

[dimethylsea]

That was pretty good KCE!