The 47 things on Gene's X-mas list

[MasterKiller]

1.

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i11/mikelyles/3379895973_f56e97c395.jpg

[Lucas]

2.

nacho cheese wrestling ninjettes

http://s133702574.onlinehome.us/pictures/blog/nachocheesewrestling.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

3.
Scarlett Johanson
http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Scarlett_Johansson/scarlett_johansson__5_.jpg

[David Jamieson]

4. Nachos of course!
http://nurseblogger.net/wp-content/uploads/blogger/blogger/7187/430/1600/NachoMargarita.jpg

I'm pretty sure that's all he really needs. :)

[sanjuro_ronin]

5.
Bollywood's Rai:
http://i491.photobucket.com/albums/rr278/gors1_01/G1/1-23.jpg

[Cappadonna]

http://asciigod.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/how_to_roll_a_blunt_cigar.jpg

[taai gihk yahn]

7.
http://www.lionsroar.name/david_20.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

7.
http://www.lionsroar.name/david_20.jpg

my eyes !!!! My eyes !!!!!!!

[David Jamieson]

7.
http://www.lionsroar.name/david_20.jpg

This needs some photoshopping... :D

[Lucas]

shop the stereo onto his right shoulder and a sideways hat

[uki]

8)

http://i538.photobucket.com/albums/ff350/mossjuice/mushrooms-topper.jpg

:)

[Tao Of The Fist]

8)

http://i538.photobucket.com/albums/ff350/mossjuice/mushrooms-topper.jpg

:)

Of course you would put shrooms,

http://www.google.com/product_url?q=http://www.amazon.com/Gold-Nugget-Austin-Powers-Pimp/dp/B000TYDMX4&fr=ADrleQy7eA7JX_KICdHRAhkiM4P29e9ArCPSkUORqsq5njZ ZhUoG_6sExpdVQ15zJxt8SWbuynk5teWfNHr54ueCqDhTLf5r2 U7fiJq4MwwqQpskELeaxrarHLFHjxQy-drBK4xFJZrtQsTYLXDKztEAAAAAAAAAAA&gl=us&hl=en

btw I'd like the boxed set of Ni Hao Kai Lan!, Season 1..... for my niece, of course :D

[GeneChing]

9. more subscribers (http://www.martialartsmart.com/19341.html)

10. forum members that can use a search engine (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49035).

tgy, for a sec, I thought that was Matt Polly (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26966).

[SanHeChuan]

9. more subscribers

After reading this; I just subscribed. :D

[David Jamieson]

After reading this; I just subscribed. :D

8 more then and G is set! lol

[Lucas]

After reading this; I just subscribed. :D

Funny, this is about how i ended up with my subscription.

[Boston Bagua]

10. His own Utilikilt, so he can be a real man...

http://i679.photobucket.com/albums/vv155/Boston_Baguazhang/kilt.jpg

[Lucas]

we should actually all pitch in and buy him one of those.

[GeneChing]

Despite all the Shaolin training, I've got these spindly bird legs that would look awful in a skirt. That's why I gave up fencing. I looked horrid in knickers. :o

Ans just to clarify, David, I want as many subscribers (http://www.martialartsmart.com/19341.html) as we can get. It was just the 9th entry on this 47 item xmas list.

[goju]

more than likely this is the top of his list:D

too bad i stoldededed her from him:D

[GeneChing]

Lucas, listen to the wisdom of goju. You should all pitch in and buy me one of those!

[Lucas]

rofl. i dont know what currency that would take?

Surely it could not be sheer manliness, for you sir would have already claimed the prize!

[Boston Bagua]

I think you could use gold bars...

[MasterKiller]

http://i50.tinypic.com/f4mc14.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

For Christmas Gene is taking his internet forum to a whole new level:
http://mirror.servut.us/kuvat/internet_serious_business.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

Gene wants Elves to help with his Christmas schedule...
http://garmentfetish.com/img/sheerstockings/12-08/03.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

Special Delivery Herr general !
http://www.lollipoplingerie.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/SHX/53004.jpg

[Fa Xing]

Special Delivery Herr general !
http://www.lollipoplingerie.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/SHX/53004.jpg

I'll take two! :D

[bawang]

http://pic.dbw.cn/0/01/17/28/1172878_489135.jpg
i send hairy fat northern chinese hillbilly to gene chings house
u can wrestle with no cloth

[GeneChing]

We left off and #10. 37 to go... :rolleyes:

[bawang]

if u ban uki ill buy your magazine

[sanjuro_ronin]

11
Riding pants that make his buttocks look sublime
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IKAx782HQ9g/SP6p9PdKVcI/AAAAAAAADvQ/ojfs2DWnfHA/s400/breeches6.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

12.
ATV with ALL the trimmings;
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gTJMEP-c2fo/SaxNX7NZjPI/AAAAAAAAKoU/PTqokLgv9Og/s400/Denise-Milani-3.jpg

[bawang]

#11 jade eggs

[uki]

if u ban uki ill buy your magazinearen't there forum rules against blackmail?? :p

[sanjuro_ronin]

13.
A bollywood swimsuit.
http://s2.hubimg.com/u/833681_f520.jpg

[uki]

isn't one woman enough already??? he can get a replacement next christmas... too many women will confound his life. sheesh. you're so selfish sanjuro...

[taai gihk yahn]

14.
The Ultimate Hammer of Banning
http://media.80stees.com/images/products/Thor_Hammer_Costume.jpg

[uki]

14.
The Ultimate Hammer of Banning
http://media.80stees.com/images/products/Thor_Hammer_Costume.jpgwhoa. cool. it would surely suck to get hit with that, unless of course ray was wielding it. :p

[David Jamieson]

10. His own Utilikilt, so he can be a real man...

http://i679.photobucket.com/albums/vv155/Boston_Baguazhang/kilt.jpg

I don't know about all the fairies, caperers and prancers in this joint, but this thing freaking Rocks!

Do you sell these dale? How much and does it come with the travellin man's belt? :)

[sanjuro_ronin]

I can't wear kilts, I keep tripping on my schlong.
Now, Spartan skirts, that's another ball game.
Get it, Ball game?
:D

[sanjuro_ronin]

15.
To be there for those hard to reach places...
http://www.celebfrenzy.net/sites/mbell/content/mbelucci006.jpg

[taai gihk yahn]

16. Revamped Kung Fu Taiji Magazine Intern Recruitment Program
http://www.cinemasterpieces.com/reformschoolgirllobbyC.jpg

[Boston Bagua]

I don't know about all the fairies, caperers and prancers in this joint, but this thing freaking Rocks!

Do you sell these dale? How much and does it come with the travellin man's belt? :)


I do not sell these. This is an Utilikilt. The company was founded by an ex girlfriend of mine.

You can find them at http://www.utilikilts.com

I have this one in black and also a green one.

They do rock.

[Yum Cha]

9. more subscribers (http://www.martialartsmart.com/19341.html)

10. forum members that can use a search engine (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49035).

tgy, for a sec, I thought that was Matt Polly (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26966).

Ad revenue? Is it network, or simply sponsorship?

Maybe you want a $1.50 cpm? :D

I'd have no problem with more advertising....

[MasterKiller]

17, 18, and 19

http://boston.3432.voxcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/rewt-429x640.jpg

[uki]

20)

http://i538.photobucket.com/albums/ff350/mossjuice/FatFaeries1.jpg

oh wait am moment... i got my lists screwed up, this one came off of ray's list... woops... ignore that one gene. :p

[David Jamieson]

20)

http://i538.photobucket.com/albums/ff350/mossjuice/FatFaeries1.jpg

oh wait am moment... i got my lists screwed up, this one came off of ray's list... woops... ignore that one gene. :p

This actually brings us right up and over 47 to about 58 or so I think...

[GeneChing]

my eyes! my bleeding eyes!!! :mad:

If you really want to know what's on my xmas (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41007) list (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37625)...

[Lucas]

21) a most kick ass sword (to fend off those nacho cheese wrestling ninjettes i posted earlier, the Godking needs to defend himself)

http://auctions.overstock.com/aimages/d/0/4/113/41133407_1.jpg

[uki]

22)

http://i538.photobucket.com/albums/ff350/mossjuice/mpics021.jpg

[MasterKiller]

23)

http://i46.tinypic.com/11grksh.jpg

[Lucas]

only 3.99 a lb for rape thats marinated? what a deal!

[uki]

only 3.99 a lb for rape thats marinated? what a deal!depends on how many cushions you want for the pushins... 3.99lb adds up quick... especially with one of the chicks off ray'r x-mas list. :p

[MasterKiller]

24

http://www.boingboing.net/200910191430.jpg

[MasterKiller]

only 3.99 a lb for rape thats marinated? what a deal!

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/40_lb_box_of_rape.jpg

[Lucas]

you seem to have an abundance of rape there my friend.

[goju]

http://cache.thephoenix.com/i/OldBlogs/WordUp/funny20books037.jpg

http://images.paraorkut.com/img/funnypics/images/p/pimpin_for_dummies-12629.jpeg

http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z85/janisforever/bb3.jpg

http://208.106.250.72/_media/imgs/articles/a251_t3.jpg

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_xM6S1O620QE/SdAup-gqlwI/AAAAAAAAJWk/wCFMMUJeIoo/s800/Strange%20Book%20Titles%20Weird%20Funny%20Humor%20 Reading13.jpg

http://devsfunda.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/knittingwithdoghair-2978-thumb.jpg

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51bZzNjJ%2B0L.jpg


lol gene strikes me as aheavy reader we should buy him some books:D

[taai gihk yahn]

http://devsfunda.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/knittingwithdoghair-2978-thumb.jpg

you may laugh, but this is actually done in some parts of the world, and I have the socks to prove it!

[uki]

http://devsfunda.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/knittingwithdoghair-2978-thumb.jpg

you may laugh, but this is actually done in some parts of the world, and I have the socks to prove it!cool!!! i have three pekingese and i always wondered about making garments from their fur.

[MasterKiller]

26: Bowling lessons

http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/gallery/bikini-bowling/bikini-bowling-23.jpg

[MasterKiller]

27: A Tramp Stamp

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v167/238/34/1061765149/n1061765149_2711_9738.jpg

[MasterKiller]

28) A Falcon Punch

http://internetseriousbiz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/FalconPunch.gif

[mickey]

29) A hot swapping dose of The Real Thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0JDN2qTLHs





mickey

[David Jamieson]

29) A hot swapping dose of The Real Thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0JDN2qTLHs





mickey

very cool mang.

[David Jamieson]

30. Another Falcon Punch! Now he'll have 2!

http://cdn2.knowyourmeme.com/i/1900/original/Falcon_Punch.jpg

[mickey]

31) Another, different, yet equally potent, swapping of The Real Thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAAV8EWrLXw




mickey

[TenTigers]

31) Another, different, yet equally potent, swapping of The Real Thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAAV8EWrLXw




mickey

wasn't the original done by Mahavishnu orchestra? or perhaps Miles Davis..

[mickey]

Hi TenTigers,

Maha Vishnu did do like guitar work in You Know You Know. I don't think it matches note for note but there is a definite influence that deserves recognition. The things that got me first was the guitar work. its kind of mind altering.

Mos Def totally sampled Maha Vishnu's guitar work for Kalifornia.

If you have a chance check out Corey Glover's "Do You First, Then Do Myself" While the guitar work is not the same as Maha Vishnu, the inspiration is definitely there. It happens to be one of my favorite Adult rated songs.

Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRXj0PoChAU


mickey

[Lucas]

32.

26 of those invisible jets that wonder woman used to use in the 70's

delivered by the Korean Military.

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/1/sovietkorea.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

33.

Map of the world
http://www.tattooblog.org/images/map_tattoo.jpg

[David Jamieson]

According to that map, Africa is healthy and in the pink! :D

Although, I'm pretty sure that Chad ain't to happy with where their country is on that particular map. lol

[sanjuro_ronin]

34.
The Empire adds a new type of clone to its ranks of storm troppers.
http://scifiwire.com/assets_c/2009/10/SexyStormtrooper16-thumb-330x307-25484.jpg

[bawang]

a copy of master tu jin sheng`s 99 power qigong dvd

uncencored

[GeneChing]

Kudos to MK for teaching me the term falcon punch. Somehow that term had completely escaped my lyrical vocabulary until now. :cool:

[sanjuro_ronin]

Seriously, where the hell did that name come from, falcon punch?

[GeneChing]

Capt. Falcon of the game F-Zero? That's what's implied by the urban dictionary. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Falcon+Punch) Anyone got more on this?

[sanjuro_ronin]

WTF ???

falcon punch


The act of pulling out of a woman during intercourse, then punching her in the vagina so far that your fist reaches her uterus from the inside. The act is most effective when used completely at random and accompanied by screaming "falcon punch!"

Seriously, WTF ?????

[bawang]

its one of those internet humor jokes from that weird picture forum/transvestite webcam site called 4chan

[sanjuro_ronin]

35.
greek marlin
When performing anal sex doggy style, and the female becomes a bit jumpy, the male reaches and fish hooks his partners cheek with his index finger.

:D

[MasterKiller]

35. greek marlin
When performing anal sex doggy style, and Uki becomes a bit jumpy, the male reaches and fish hooks his partners cheek with his index finger.

:D

Fixed that for you.

[GeneChing]

He totally sullied page 4 (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55861&page=4) of this thread. It went south after that.

Did I ever tell you of when I saw a 'dirty sanchez' t-shirt at the vendor booths near Shaolin Temple?

[TenTigers]

probably the same place they got, "Donkey Punch," and "Dirty Sanchez" from.

[sanjuro_ronin]

36.
Because you never know who may come for a visit:
http://www.wailea-spa.com/images/betty%20beauty%20hair%20down%20there%20pink.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

37.
Banans
http://img1.ifilmpro.com/blog/1/6/2/4/1624048/1207599784077.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

38.
http://www.trendhunter.com/images/phpthumbnails/16108_1_468.jpeg

[Lucas]

39.

More Cowbell

http://sirenschronicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/cowbell.jpg

http://www.daveheinzel.com/blog/cowbell.jpg

[taai gihk yahn]

40. kung fu santa
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PfwJmff_7Y8/RXyhGF9adOI/AAAAAAAAAAM/n9dtUjNzaS0/s400/kung+fu+santa.png

[David Jamieson]

41.

http://f00.inventorspot.com/images/6796E062-61FF-4A06-979B-D0284CD358E3.gif

[David Jamieson]

42. an ass towel (read on)

http://www.geekologie.com/2008/12/11/ass-towel.jpg

I know not all of you readers are FAKE! asshats. I'm sure some of you are actually good people, who make a valued contribution to society. And some of you are straight pervs. And others, like reader David, are inventors. David developed a towel that helps solve the age-old "did I just wipe my face with ass?" conundrum.

I've had this idea for a while. I've come to the conclusion that I'm never getting around to getting it made, so I at least want it publicized.


An ordinary towel right? Correct.

But, it has a distinct blue square in a not so used area of the towel.

Maybe I'm a slob, but I usually don't get a new towel every single day. And, I've got to dry my entire body. Some of which don't always get 100% clean.

I dry my ass, then the next day I use that same spot on the towel to dry my face. There it is, and it sucks.

The blue square is the designated section of the towel to dry your ass.

Genius, David. This is exactly the kind of ingenuity I expect from Geekologie readers. I really want these made. Then I could finally stop drying my ass with my roommate's toothbrush.

Thanks David, remind me to bring my own towel to the slumber party.

lifted this from geekologie.com seems like the perfect gift for any guy!

[Lucas]

42. an ass towel (read on)

http://www.geekologie.com/2008/12/11/ass-towel.jpg


lifted this from geekologie.com seems like the perfect gift for any guy!

ya and we are supposed to believe that the guys name just happens to be david huh? :p

[David Jamieson]

there are many Davids, but most of us are Daves
A lot of us have two hands, and we come from different moms

:p

[MasterKiller]

42. an ass towel (read on)

http://www.geekologie.com/2008/12/11/ass-towel.jpg


lifted this from geekologie.com seems like the perfect gift for any guy!

@sstowel is lame.

real men use d1cktowels:

http://d1cktowel.com/d1cktowel.html (replace the "1" with an "i" [NSFW!!!!])

[David Jamieson]

@sstowel is lame.

real men use d1cktowels:

http://d1cktowel.com/d1cktowel.html (replace the "1" with an "i" [NSFW!!!!])

Uh, I don't know what you think a "real man" is MK. :p

But the ass towel is practical.

the d1ck towel is a picture of a giant d1ck on a towel, which is actually kind of gay.

[sanjuro_ronin]

43:
Enough said:
http://www.comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/8558/@AV-TREK-VS-SIMSPSONSg6651439480.gif

[Lucas]

44.

i want a holodeck!!!!

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/en/images/a/a9/Holodeck_empty.jpg

[uki]

45) http://www.genpets.com/meet.php :D

[Lucas]

what the **** is that, and is that for real?

[sanjuro_ronin]

45) http://www.genpets.com/meet.php :D

OIVEY !!!!!!:eek:

[Lucas]

so ive been looking around that web site. those things are creepy. wtf is up with them?

[uki]

wtf is up with them?i have absolutely ZERO idea... i got this link from a mongolian chick i met who was in grad school for bio-medical engineering or some sh!t... LOL... she was quite the trip, she wants to grow her own body guards. :eek:

[David Jamieson]

so ive been looking around that web site. those things are creepy. wtf is up with them?

It is an art project.
I am surprised it is still up!
cool!

[GeneChing]

You've redeemed yourself from post 47 (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showpost.php?p=975717&postcount=47), but only slightly. Genpets. Wow. They are even named after me...

[uki]

You've redeemed yourself from post 47 (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showpost.php?p=975717&postcount=47), but only slightly. Genpets. Wow. They are even named after me...LOL... i love how you keep linking it for any of our unfortunate guests and members who may have missed it. :D

[Lucas]

It is an art project.
I am surprised it is still up!
cool!

so is it true what it says in that site though? are they 'alive'? or is it just some hoax

[uki]

is it just some hoaxeverything is a hoax.

[Lucas]

everything is a hoax.

thats just what they want you to think!

:eek:

[David Jamieson]

so is it true what it says in that site though? are they 'alive'? or is it just some hoax

It's an art project. Of course they aren't real, they're sculptures.

If you go through the site, it will lead you to more information on the project.
Or you could go to wiki I guess, I think they have more info there about the project and the art.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genpets

[uki]

thats just what they want you to think!unless that too is a hoax. :)

[MasterKiller]

What number are we on?

40) Tickets to whatever sport requires these uniforms:

http://img3361.imagevenue.com/images/loc424/94190_asses_996_123_424lo_123_424lo.jpg

[uki]

What number are we on?not 40... LOL... perhaps you should become a master of awareness before calling yourself a masterkiller. :D

[sanjuro_ronin]

**** !!! some serious gluets !!

[David Jamieson]

**** !!! some serious gluets !!

clearly pshopped. look at the deformation on the legs.

I'm sure they look great without the baby got back crap tacked on. :D

[Lucas]

ya who cares. what sport is that.

[Lucas]

i think its polo

[MasterKiller]

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f345/Manny11094/b7kqbt.gif

AND A PARTRIDGE AND A PEAR TREE!