Your Kung Fu is so bad...

[MasterKiller]

Crack on the guy who posts above you. I'll start with Gene, because he's top dog.

Your kung fu is so bad, you thought Chin Na was a country in Asia.

[David Jamieson]

Mk's Kungfu is so bad his mom had to tie a twinkie to his head so fat kids would spar with him.

[lkfmdc]

Jamieson's kung fu is so bad, it came with three moo shoo pancakes...

[Lucas]

LKFMDC's kungfu is so bad he brought a food donation to his Hung Gar class...

[xcakid]

lkfmdc's kung fu is so bad, people thought he was epileptic. Whenever he performed a technique it was like he was having a seizure.

[TenTigers]

Lucas' Kung-Fu is so bad, he takes lessons from Ralph Macchio

[sanjuro_ronin]

TT's kung fu is so bad that he brought a saddle to class to train his horse stance.

[TenTigers]

mk's kungfu is so bad his mom had to tie a twinkie to his head so fat kids would spar with him.

rotflmfao!!!

[uki]

sanjuro's kung fu is so bad because he spends too much time searching for pictures of slamming hot girls. :)

[mooyingmantis]

Lucas' kung fu is sooo bad, he uses a rocking horse to support his Horse Stances! :eek:

[uki]

mooyingmantis sucks because he is too busy getting ready to tickling his armpits.

[MasterKiller]

Uki's kung fu is so bad he thinks 'walk the circle' is a Johnny Cash song.

[uki]

Uki's kung fu is so bad he thinks 'walk the circle' is a Johnny Cash song.like a whirlwind...

[MasterKiller]

Sanjuro's kung fu is so bad they started calling it karate.

[uki]

Sanjuro's kung fu is so bad they started calling it karate.LOL which translates into "asian hobbit style" :D

[sanjuro_ronin]

HEY !!
You guys are lucky I suck at this "kung fu is so bad" thing !
:mad:

[SPJ]

"ring of fire" by johnny cash.

I also like bob dylan

"blowing in the wind"

I also like pete seeger

"where are those flowers gone?"

---

:)

[uki]

HEY !!
You guys are lucky I suck at this "kung fu is so bad" thing !redeem yourself... give us a slamming hot female specimen of the **** sapiens...

[MasterKiller]

SPJ's kung fu is so bad he has to reply to his own posts.

[SPJ]

SPJ's kung fu is so bad he has to reply to his own posts.

good one.

:D

[Tao Of The Fist]

Masterkiller's so bad at kung fu, I just had to videotape it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR96Vwl3fbc

[uki]

Masterkiller's so bad at kung fu, I just had to videotape it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR96Vwl3fbcgood stuff... seems like white crane is flapping it's wings about the boards these days...

[dirtyrat]

uki's kung fu is so bad, he thinks "bong" sau is something he can smoke.

[GeneChing]

dirtyrat's kung fu is so bad, his grandmaster is a dog-faced boy. :eek:

[goju]

dirtyrat's kung fu is so bad, his grandmaster is a dog-faced boy. :eek:

genes kung fu is so bad gina carano dumped him for me
AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA!:D

[taai gihk yahn]

genes kung fu is so bad gina carano dumped him for me
AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA!:D

goju's kung fu is so bad SD called him and asked him to run a seminar :eek:

[goju]

goju's kung fu is so bad SD called him and asked him to run a seminar :eek:

NOW THATS JUST HITTING BELOW THE BELT MAN!:mad::mad::mad::D

[dirtyrat]

taai gihk yahn's kung fu is so bad that he doesn't know how to "stroke the bird's tail" ;)

[Lucas]

dirtyrat's kungfu is so bad he learned 'monkey steals the peaches' from curious george.

[dirtyrat]

dirtyrat's kungfu is so bad he learned 'monkey steals the peaches' from curious george.

hey, who you been talking to?!?

[Lucas]

hehe, me n george are tight yo. we talk all the time. :D

[Hebrew Hammer]

Lucas' kung fu is so bad that his on air fight with Steven Seagal (Steven Seagal Lawman) was edited out of the first show due to even lower viewer ratings. :eek:

[Lucas]

lol, its only cuz some 60 year old asian lady he was hangin with whooooped my ass for him.

[dirtyrat]

Hebrew Hammer's kung fu is sooo baaddd, he makes Lucas' on air fight with Steven Seagal (Steven Seagal Lawman) looked good. :p

[Boston Bagua]

You all have no Kung Fu as you do not possess a kilt.

Men that wear kilts have the real deal, the rest only wish they had.

Gene has kung fu as he has mastered the stance of stances:


The Mighty Rid Self of Wind Stance

http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x270/DaleDugas67/smalhorsetakesbigdump.jpg

[Tao Of The Fist]

And it was **** sexy too. Boston Bagua's kung fu's soo bad, he uses video editing software to do the breaks in his vids...:eek:

yeah, I couldn't think of a good one, screw you. :mad:

[SPJ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lhf9U5Wf3Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWvh4S3YWVo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaUN9T7Yx7U&feature=related

:cool:

[BM2]

I don't have enough time to wait for MK to post so I can not follow this thread correctly so...
MK gets his moves from youtube. At least he has taste. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5phwnJaI8lI

[dimethylsea]

BM2's kungfu is so bad.. when he drops his chi.. people call in air pollution reports.


(Sorry BM2.. you were just the guy who posted above me :)

[uki]

dimethylsea's bagua is so bad he walks into his post instead of around it. :p

[brothernumber9]

Uki's kungfu is so bad he thought "Wing Chun" was an 80's pop hit.

[uki]

if brothernumber9's kung fu weren't so bad, he'd be brothernumber1...

[Iron_Eagle_76]

brothernumber9's Kung Fu is so bad, this guys kicks his a**ss:

http://www.ioskdka.com/images/DOJO%20ASHIDA%20KIM%20%20logo.jpg

[Iron_Eagle_76]

Uki's Kung Fu is so bad instead of Tiger and Crane he does Swamp Rat and Horn**y Toad Sets:p

[MasterKiller]

Iron Eagle's kung fu is so bad he named himself after a C. Thomas Howell movie.

[TenTigers]

MK's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks Dieu-Ma is a stance.

(ok, you really have to know Cantonese for this. Especially slang)

[sanjuro_ronin]

TT's kung fu is so bad he thinks Poon Tang is a MA from Wudang.

[MasterKiller]

Ten Tigers' kung fu is so bad he thinks the name of his favorite drink is a "Muay Thai."

[lkfmdc]

Sanjuro's kung fu STINKS, it stinks so bad he covers the smell with "hi karate"

[TenTigers]

lkfmdc's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks omoplata is something you order at the Indian Restaurant.
(had to change it to stay in line..)

[MasterKiller]

LKFMDC's kung fu is so bad, he thinks a gogoplata is Brazilian take out.

[sanjuro_ronin]

Lkmfdc's kung fu is so bad that when he decided to take up Lama kung fu he moved to Argentina to be with the lamas !

[lkfmdc]

woah, what a pile on!

[MasterKiller]

David Jameison's kung fu is so bad Canada refused to socialize it.

[TenTigers]

Sanjuro's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks Kuan-dao is Spanish.

[TenTigers]

MK's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks Judo is what bagels are made from.

[taai gihk yahn]

MK's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks Judo is what bagels are made from.

rotflmfao!

[MasterKiller]

taai gihk yahn's kung fu is so bad, Doo Wai named a form after him.

[sanjuro_ronin]

TT's kung fu is so bad he things Jing is a type of bell.
:p

[taai gihk yahn]

MK's kung fu is so bad that when his sifu said he was going to teach him how to do the "dai pa", he went out and bought a pack of Pampers!

[Tao Of The Fist]

TGY's kung fu is so bad, that when someone asked him to perform beng bo, he took out a glass pipe and weed, lit up, and put in a billy blank's tape just to watch the man boobs fly.:eek::eek:

Also, his kung fu is so bad that he couldn't figure out how to spell T.G.Y.F when he thought up his name. :p (as in Thank God You're Fat)

[Iron_Eagle_76]

Tao of the Fist's Kung Fu is so bad, he has a subscription to Inside Kung Fu.:eek:

[TenTigers]

Iron Eagle's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks tapping is what you do so you don't pee your pants.

(well, actually, it is!)

[lkfmdc]

Ten Tigers' kung fu is so bad, he practices the sup bot LO FAAN chi kung

[Iron_Eagle_76]

TT's Kung Fu is so bad, he thinks the Ten Tigers of Canton are from Ohio:p

[Tao Of The Fist]

Tao of the Fist's Kung Fu is so bad, he has a subscription to Inside Kung Fu.:eek:

No man, Black Belt Magazine:D! At least your kung fu is so bad, when I heard of Rhinoceros Stares at Moon I thought of your mom, Oh!

[Iron_Eagle_76]

No man, Black Belt Magazine:D! At least your kung fu is so bad, when I heard of Rhinoceros Stares at Moon I thought of your mom, Oh!

Get off the mom jokes, man, I just got off yours:D

[TenTigers]

lkfmcd's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks Sanda brings you presents on Christmas.

[Tao Of The Fist]

Get off the mom jokes, man, I just got off yours:D

:D I was gonna say like the comeback, but then somehow that turned into a dirty joke in my head.

[TenTigers]

TOTF's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks Lion Dancing is the electric slide.

[Tao Of The Fist]

TT's kung fu is so bad, he learns his Chinese from Ni Hao Kai Lan. Sanda must have gotten him the deluxe backpack for christmas.

Cause I said, slide to the left , slide to the left, cha chuan real smooth

[TenTigers]

TOTF's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thought Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu meant grappling on a bare wood floor.
(opie n anthony reference)

[TenTigers]

side note-a t-shirt saying," Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu is for pu$$ies,"would be funny, but very dangerous to wear.

[Tao Of The Fist]

side note-a t-shirt saying," Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu is for pu$$ies,"would be funny, but very dangerous to wear.

I'd wear one if you made it.

[brothernumber9]

Ten Tiger's kung fu is so bad he can't high kick Emmanuel Lewis.

[Lucas]

side note-a t-shirt saying," Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu is for pu$$ies,"would be funny, but very dangerous to wear.

lol i dont have a rip ready but that is an awesome idea. great for training eh? ill wear one, but ill probably carry my knife too. :D

[David Jamieson]

lol i dont have a rip ready but that is an awesome idea. great for training eh? ill wear one, but ill probably carry my knife too. :D

lucas' kungfu is so bad, he thinks ma bu is how casper scares his mom.

[Lucas]

lucas' kungfu is so bad, he thinks ma bu is how casper scares his mom.lol

Dj's kungfu is so bad, yesterday he ordered wushu pork for dinner.

[MasterKiller]

Lucas' kung fu is so bad, he thought "Ti Da Shuai Na" was the first chorus of "Do Rae Me."

[Tao Of The Fist]

TOTF's kung fu is so bad he has to recycle "Your Kung Fu Is So Bad" posts from recycle (3 pages back

Oh shayza I didn't know that was there lol

I never was good at playing the dozens

[taai gihk yahn]

TGY's kung fu is so bad, that when someone asked him to perform beng bo, he took out a glass pipe and weed, lit up, and put in a billy blank's tape just to watch the man boobs fly.:eek::eek:

TOTF's kung fu is so bad he has to recycle "Your Kung Fu Is So Bad" posts from 3 pages back (http://kungfumagazine.com/forum/showpost.php?p=982166&postcount=23)

[MasterKiller]

TGY's kung fu is so bad he learned it from this video:

http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm220/B_Goetz/joeygif2.gif

[Tao Of The Fist]

TOTF's kung fu is so bad he has to recycle "Your Kung Fu Is So Bad" posts from 3 pages back (http://kungfumagazine.com/forum/showpost.php?p=982166&postcount=23)

Your kung fu is so bad that my response was faster than your statement.

Again, I'm sorry that I suck at playing the dozens.

[Kpower]

Tao of the Fist's Kung Fu is so bad he went to the north pole to learn Escrima.

[dirtyrat]

Tao of the Fist's kung fu is so bad, that the board actually hit back!!

[uki]

Tao of the Fist's kung fu is so bad, that the board actually hit back!!dirtyrat's kung fu is so bad he's afraid of the beaches on maui...

[Iron_Eagle_76]

Uki's Kung Fu is so bad he learned it from David Carradine's Hangmans Journal:eek:

[MasterKiller]

Dirtyrat's kung fu is so bad, he's sponsored by "Tap In."

[dimethylsea]

I'd wear one if you made it.

It would be even better if the shirt said

(On the Front) Brazilian Jujitsu is for pussies

(On the Back) Put me in your guard handsome!

[dimethylsea]

Dirtyrat's kung fu is so bad, he's sponsored by "Tap In."

MK's kungfu is so bad he wanders airport bathrooms looking for the 36th chamber..


God help us all if he finds it!

[brothernumber9]

dimethylsea's kung fu is so bad he opened up a chain of schools called,
"Tae K'mai Do"

[MasterKiller]

Gene's kung fu is so bad, he thought Iron Pen1s was that toy on his wife's nightstand.

[dirtyrat]

Masterkiller's kung fu is so bad, the Shaolin Temple gave him a refund.....:o

[Hebrew Hammer]

Dirtyrat's kung fu is sooooo bad he told his mom that all the grunts and heavy breathing she heard was just him practicing Iron Palm in the bathroom.

[Iron_Eagle_76]

Hebrew Hammer's Kung Fu is not so bad, but his outfit sucks:p:

http://www.abirwarriorarts.com/pics/sofer%201.jpg

[Hebrew Hammer]

lol I'm stealing that pic! There is actually some German Rabbi Ninja out there on youtube also...I'm sure Gene will be tracking him down shortly.

[Scott R. Brown]

All your guy's Kung Fu is so bad you think "Wax On! Wax Off!" refers to what Brazilian ladies do!:eek:

[Scott R. Brown]

On the other hand,

MY Kung Fu is SO deadly, I can't show it to anyone!

If I did I wouldn't have to kill you, you would drop dead just from seeing it!:cool:

[dimethylsea]

dimethylsea's kung fu is so bad he opened up a chain of schools called,
"Tae K'mai Do"

That should be Tae K'Yo Do actually :)

[MasterKiller]

Scott Brown's kung fu is so bad, he thought he could pick up women at an armbar.

[taai gihk yahn]

On the other hand,

MY Kung Fu is SO deadly, I can't show it to anyone!

If I did I wouldn't have to kill you, you would drop dead just from seeing it!:cool:
Scott's Kung Fu is so bad that every time he practices the Mona Lisa stops smiling, the Pope converts to Islam and masochists the world over breathe a collective sigh of contentment...

[MasterKiller]

TGY's kung fu is so bad, he often mistakes the signifier for the signified.

[Lucas]

Masterkillers kungfu is so bad he thought a back kick was a federal refund.

[taai gihk yahn]

TGY's kung fu is so bad, he often mistakes the signifier for the signified.

MK's kung fu is so bad he thought deconstruction was something you did to your opponent's bridges and gates!

[SPJ]

just read the news that a guy kissing fu is so bad that shut down the airport

:eek:

[dirtyrat]

SPJ's kung fu is so bad, he stole Hong Kong Phooey's Hong Kong Book of Kung Fu.

"Hah! Hoo! And a-rinky dinky doo (to you)!" :D

[ngokfei]

My kungfu is so bad that my teacher gave up learning english:confused:

[TenTigers]

NgokFei's Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks DanTien is one of the Musketeers.

[dirtyrat]

TT's kung fu is so bad, after his last fight the Chinese went from calling him Hung, So Lo
to Sing, Tu Hai.

[lkfmdc]

dirtyrat's kung fu is so bad, his baai si name is Sum Ting Wong

[Olaf]

lkfmdc's kungfu is so bad he tried to order Ami-Tofu for lunch :)

[MasterKiller]

Olaf's kung fu is so bad, he thinks sub of the night is a $5 foot long.

[David Jamieson]

mk's kungfu is so bad he thinks mma is how a stutterer addresses his mom.

[MasterKiller]

DJ's kung fu is so bad he got a TKO'd while shadow boxing.

[David Jamieson]

DJ's kung fu is so bad he got a TKO'd while shadow boxing.

Well, he knew what evil was lurking in my heart and he jumped me in a dark alley. What was I supposed to do?

:)

[dirtyrat]

MK's kung fu is so bad, he suffers from iron palm deficiency

[MasterKiller]

Dirty Rat's kung fu is so bad, WWE fans call it fake.

[Lucas]

Masterkillers kungfu is so bad hes not too deadly for the ring.

[TenTigers]

Lucas' Kung-Fu is so bad, he buys his satins at Victoria's Secrets.

[Lucas]

Tentigers kungfu is so bad, he thinks Victorias Secret my hidden family techique.

;)

[Tao Of The Fist]

Tentigers kungfu is so bad, he thinks Victorias Secret my hidden family techique.

;)

Lucas' kung fu is so bad, he read december's issue of Kung Fu Tai Chi and decided to try out the Jade Egg techniques himself.

[Lucas]

Lucas' kung fu is so bad, he read december's issue of Kung Fu Tai Chi and decided to try out the Jade Egg techniques himself.

hahahahahaha....stop spying on me :mad:

[TenTigers]

Lucas' Kung-Fu is so bad, he thinks Goju is a hand cleaner.

(only REAL men get this...):cool:

[David Jamieson]

TT's kungfu is so bad, he thinks Goju is an Israeli airline.

ba doomp doomp kissshhhh!

[TenTigers]

TT's kungfu is so bad, he thinks Goju is an Israeli airline.

ba doomp doomp kissshhhh!
Yikes-took awhile. I guess I'm not fully awake yet.
I was thinkin.."WTF does GoJu have to do with EL-AL?"
Go JEW..doh!:D

[David Jamieson]

Yikes-took awhile. I guess I'm not fully awake yet.
I was thinkin.."WTF does GoJu have to do with EL-AL?"
Go JEW..doh!:D

right, straight to Tel Aviv for you and don't come back til the night life has worn off! :D

[dirtyrat]

DJ's kung fu is so bad, the kung fu community calls him Lao Zi ("lousy" for yous slower on the take)

[David Jamieson]

dirtyrat's kungfu is so bad, he has exhausted the pity of Mr.T

[dirtyrat]

dirtyrat's kungfu is so bad, he has exhausted the pity of mr.t

:D lol!! :D

[kfson]

...because you eat bitter. That just eats.

[dirtyrat]

...because you eat bitter. That just eats.

Hey kfson, did you mean to post here on this thread or that "Eat Bitter..." is BS. thread?

Anyway, your kung fu is so bad,.... Yeah, I got nothing :(

[Lucas]

i got one for ya dirtyrat, and its topical, unlike that balm you used last night :eek:


kfson's kungfu is so bad, when his sifu told him to eat bitter he showed up the next day with a bar of unsweetened chocolate. badabing

[kfson]

Hey kfson, did you mean to post here on this thread or that "Eat Bitter..." is BS. thread?

Anyway, your kung fu is so bad,.... Yeah, I got nothing :(

E x a c t l y !

[dirtyrat]

i got one for ya dirtyrat, and its topical, unlike that balm you used last night :eek:


kfson's kungfu is so bad, when his sifu told him to eat bitter he showed up the next day with a bar of unsweetened chocolate. badabing

badabing, badaboom.


E x a c t l y !

no man, I just mean its that bad.... :p

[kfson]

badabing, badaboom.



no man, I just mean its that bad.... :p

Yes, it is bad.

[dirtyrat]

Yes, it is bad.

'sigh' everyone's a critic. :p

fine then

kfson's kung fu is so bad, when he practice his kung fu, the Drunken Monkey sobers up.... then hurls.... then passes out....

[Iron_Eagle_76]

dirtyrat's Kung Fu is so bad, his dad didn't care either when he quit doing hamster style (Orgazmo joke).

[brothernumber9]

Iron Eagle's kung fu is so bad, he tells everyone he hopes to one day become a seafood like his teacher.

[Scott R. Brown]

Brothernumber9's kung fu is sooooooo bad he received his moniker when he repeatedly couldn't get past the 9th chamber!

[dirtyrat]

Scott R. Brown's kung fu is soooo, so bad, his Tiger kung fu just got brained by a golf club, a tree and a fire hydrant. :eek:

[TenTigers]

Dirty Rat's Kung-Fu is so bad, Master Kan gave him a pebble,
and said, "Just go."

[dirtyrat]

Dirty Rat's Kung-Fu is so bad, Master Kan gave him a pebble,
and said, "Just go."

sigh... my greatest shame

[David Jamieson]

Dirty Rat's Kung-Fu is so bad, Master Kan gave him a pebble,
and said, "Just go."

lol. so far this is the best one. :D