Forms

[Blacktiger]

http://www.shaolin.com.au/TempleLevels.html

I just stumbled across this - comments on forms?

Do these look made up to you??

[BGZ BadBoy]

Total and complete parasite-infested elephant feces. This entire group should immediately fornicate themselves with pointed, unfinished hickory sticks of suitable length so as to completely impale themselves as penance for their crimes against all humanity. I was brought to the point of violent projectile vomiting reminiscent of my first psilocybinic mushroom experience.

[David Jamieson]

http://www.shaolin.com.au/TempleLevels.html

I just stumbled across this - comments on forms?

Do these look made up to you??

Well, the quasi star trek uniforms should be the first clue...

[MasterKiller]

From the look of the teacher's gut, I would say this is Kempo.

[David Jamieson]

From the look of the teacher's gut, I would say this is Kempo.

Gutpo is more like it, perhaps he has serious training in beer pong?
pretty laughable stuff though.

Shocking pink hair on a twisted emo lad isn't really marketing towards people that want to learn to fight though. Let the trekkies have their thing. :p

[Scott R. Brown]

I looked at the home page there and the sample vid of the girl doing a form.

My only recommendation would be for them to add more spinning moves. There just weren't enough for my tastes. REAL Kung Fu has WAY more spinning in it, as I am sure we all know!

If you are going to do 30 lame spinning moves, why not just make it 60 and put us all out of our misery?:rolleyes:


Total and complete parasite-infested elephant feces. This entire group should immediately fornicate themselves with pointed, unfinished hickory sticks of suitable length so as to completely impale themselves as penance for their crimes against all humanity. I was brought to the point of violent projectile vomiting reminiscent of my first psilocybinic mushroom experience.

Not bad for a newbie! Keep up the humorous acidic comments like that and you just might make it here!:)

[MasterKiller]

There are only 4 reason I would train there.

http://www.shaolin.com.au/social/ShaolinKungFuAcademy2004.jpg

[David Jamieson]

There are only 4 reason I would train there.

http://www.shaolin.com.au/social/ShaolinKungFuAcademy2004.jpg

well lucky for you that the girl in white is probably of age by now seeing as that pic is 6 years old.

Otherwise, you get negatory marks for perving. :p

[MasterKiller]

well lucky for you that the girl in white is probably of age by now seeing as that pic is 6 years old.

Otherwise, you get negatory marks for perving. :p

I believe the age of consent in Austrailia is 14. Just saying...

[Scott R. Brown]

You should go straight to the 36th chamber without your dinner young man!!:mad:

Those would be 4 reasons I am glad I don't train at that school!:eek:

[taai gihk yahn]

Total and complete parasite-infested elephant feces. This entire group should immediately fornicate themselves with pointed, unfinished hickory sticks of suitable length so as to completely impale themselves as penance for their crimes against all humanity. I was brought to the point of violent projectile vomiting reminiscent of my first psilocybinic mushroom experience.

LOL - that's putting ur Eng. Lit. to good use man; well said, sir, well said indeed [golf clap]

[Lucas]

psilocybinic mushroom experience.

where is uki?

[taai gihk yahn]

Sijo Robert Z short CV
1962 Started Martial Art Training - Judo
1970 Migrated to Germany, started Karate
1971 Special Combat/Weaponry Training German Army (bare hand, guns & knife)
1975 European Full Contact 2nd
1976 European Full Contact Champion
1976 Karate Black Belt
1976 Started Aikido & Iaido
1982 Aikido Black Belt
1982 Iaido Black Belt
1982 Migrated to Australia
1982 Started Kung Fu and Weaponry Training
1987 additionally trained Chi Kung Iron Body Skills
1988 additionally Trained Iaido and Ninjitsu
1989 additionally Undulating Palms, Thunder Stepping Whirlwind Fist
1989 Kung Fu Black Sash
1990 additionally Trained Chinese Spear Art, Sword Art
1991 additionally trained Kickboxing/Mauy Thai
1992 Founded Shaolin Academy
1995 trained Academy's 1st Australian Champion (Weaponry & Kung Fu)
1996 1st Kung Fu Black Sash graduated student
1996 13 National and State titles won by students
1997 Published in first magazine article
1999 additionally trained Chinese Boxing
1999 1st, 2nd Degree Student
1999 Awarded Judge & Referee of the year
2001 Trained in China, Shaolin, Xian & Beijing
2001 1st, 3rd Degree Student
2002 Became full time Martial Artist :eek::eek::eek:
Since 2002, Sijo has fully focused on his students . .

[taai gihk yahn]

Do these look made up to you??

well, it says that their Shaolin White Snake From has been "under development since 1989" (!) - so, no, I think that this stuff has been around long enough not to be considered "made up"...

[taai gihk yahn]

just found this nugget via a comment posted on Gene's FB wall:

http://www.facebook.com/shifu.reynoldx
虎 菩 萨 To study Shaolin Kempo is to look into deep knowledge. Shaolin Monks can use Kempo as a form of defense but you must never use your skills for evil. Learn Shaolin Kempo and you will understand your own limitations. You must be willing to respect the talents, abilities and views of others. The selfish person is not the person who becomes Shaolin. Schools that only teach martial arts are not real Shaolin. Shaolin is a complete lifestyle. If you want to join a Shaolin organization, make sure it is for the right reasons. Make sure it is the right school. Organizations that attempt to copyright the name Shaolin violate the central precepts of our Order. It is not a business. Most Shaolin Temples will take on any student who is sincere. You can normally spend time trying out the Shaolin system. True initiation is for those who have decided to pursue this Way. The real meaning of Shaolin must be directly experienced. The true essence of Shaolin teachings should be practiced n realized not merely studied or agreed with.
http://www.tristateorderofshaolinkempostudios.com/default.html

I mean, I really just have no idea where to even begin here...

Maybe Tyson can help out with another of his expressionistic sentiments?

[Blacktiger]

Well, the quasi star trek uniforms should be the first clue...

I want a star trek uniform..

[David Jamieson]

I want a star trek uniform..

XL, XXL, XXXL or Husky? :p

[taai gihk yahn]

I want another star trek uniform..

fixed that fer ya...

[uki]

where is uki?he is around. :D

[Scott R. Brown]

LOL - that's putting ur Eng. Lit. to good use man; well said, sir, well said indeed [golf clap]

Yeah........but then he went and ruined it all "by saying something stupid like 'I lov......'"er I mean.....THIS!! (http://forum.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1010197#post1010197):rolleyes:

[taai gihk yahn]

Yeah........but then he went and ruined it all "by saying something stupid like 'I lov......'"er I mean.....THIS!! (http://forum.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1010197#post1010197):rolleyes:

well, I did find it strange that he was of the opinion that someone on the forum had called the Joplin City Parks and Rec Dept to try to get him disenfranchised; especially as, to the best of my knowledge, he had not posted on the forum that he was even being considered for it (unless I missed that post); however, if in fact someone did do that, that is pretty lame...

honestly, around here, Park and Rec taiji people are a dime a dozen: I have yet to meet a single one who actually has a clue - not to say Tyson is clueless, more that Rec Deps have NO idea whatsoever about the quality of the people they hire, it's really more just to fill space in the catalogue and generate revenue; they will also replace you in a heartbeat if you become a problem for them in the slightest...

[taai gihk yahn]

he is around. :D

and around and around and around and around....

[Scott R. Brown]

not to say Tyson is clueless...

Why wouldn't you want to say Tyson is clueless......are you sceeeeeeeeeeerd!!!!!!! Are you a sceeeeeeeeeeeerdy cat????:p

[Blacktiger]

XL, XXL, XXXL or Husky? :p

I will take the XXL in the muscle- tee jump suit.

Hey this could be the start of a whole new era in kung fu.

Hows this... kung fu styles and systems based on sci fi movies/series...

Anyone for Avatar Fu

:D

[Scott R. Brown]

They already have Klingon Fu and Spock's Dim Mak, so why not?

[bawang]

http://www.facebook.com/shifu.reynoldx[/url]
but you must never use your skills for evil.
FALSE

"you must deliver pure evil to the battlefield" northern saying

[uki]

FALSE

"you must deliver pure evil to the battlefield" northern sayingaye... a battle is hardly won by being nice to the enemy who is attempting to take your head off.

:)

[taai gihk yahn]

aye... a battle is hardly won by being nice to the enemy who is attempting to take your head off.

:)

I guess that my obviates my "tea and crumpets" stratagem :(

[Scott R. Brown]

I guess that my obviates my "tea and crumpets" stratagem :(

Ahhhhhhhh! The old "kill them with courtesy" ploy!!

AKA: poison.........devious, but effective.........as to my method, looooong lonely nights of surveillance in the hot, cold, wet and dark......well

.......at least it gets you out in the open air!:p

[No_Know]

The crane has what I might unuderstand as Dragon hands in the picture on the side of the page with 1-5. And haven't seen pheonix-eye punch in a crane form before. Of all Crane forms how many have I really seen?

I go by the form nam and hand froms and techniques I associate with that type of form name...I saw kung fu techniques but not necessarily thinking it necessarily fits or goes in some of those specific forms.

The Emei from have t'ai chi ch'uan moves.
All forms got made-up at some point. The Name of the Academy .?.

There are so many forms I shouldn't comment on them.

There were some inconsistancies to what I understand about names and forms.

It takes a great effort to do coordinated movement and even if this stuff is not as authentic as pure Shaolin might be (understanding Shaolin is an amalgum~ of experience of thieves, soldiers, private families and observations in Nature distilled into forms over generations at least.

Have good things to say, some day people 'll be talkin' 'bout you...somewhere my think.

No_Know

[Northwind]

As soon as the webpage loaded and I noticed black background with gazillions of fonts, colors, busy things all over the place etc...I immediately get the scammy spammy feeling...But I held off my judgments...

Til I looked up & left to see the attractive blonde girl taking main stage of graphic importance in a ridiculous posture...And looked beneath her to the totally BS chinese stamp...I scrolled down maybe once and then that's about it.

I would expect this type of thing in Appalachia here in the USA...But oh well...

[David Jamieson]

Hey, Australia has stupid idiots too man!

[Lee Chiang Po]

http://www.shaolin.com.au/TempleLevels.html

I just stumbled across this - comments on forms?

Do these look made up to you??


All forms are made up by someone I think. I can easily see that this is just run of the mill stuff. All this kung fu is lacking. Mostly posturing, but almost completely useless in a fight. I wouldn't be afraid to fight all four of thos people at the same time.

[David Jamieson]

All forms are made up by someone I think. I can easily see that this is just run of the mill stuff. All this kung fu is lacking. Mostly posturing, but almost completely useless in a fight. I wouldn't be afraid to fight all four of thos people at the same time.

He's so "husky" you refer to him as "all four of those people".

:D

[Lee Chiang Po]

He's so "husky" you refer to him as "all four of those people".

:D


I seen one skinny chick, two skinny dudes, and a rather robust, Husky I guess, fellow, which I am sure could be counted as more than one. Looking at him more closely, I noticed that he has a very large upper body with a rather smaller lower body. Butt and legs look like they belong to a small person while his upper body and arms look to belong to a much larger person. I would watch him more closely I think, as his looks like he could knock the snot out a fellow.

[KC Elbows]

I wonder if there's an evil version of that school where they all have little goatees.

[SanHeChuan]

Horse stance; to double groins strike; to double heads grab; to double knees to the heads. Classic made up kung fu right there.

It reminds me of Shaolin-do.

[TenTigers]

I just returned from a tournament where one of the schools looked like that.
My student tells me I need to be more subtle. She says, "You had that expression on your face like you just ate a bad pistaschio nut."
Yeah, it's called my,"WTF is THAT!?" face.:mad:

[MasterKiller]

Did your face look like this?

http://dailypicdump.com/data/images/2010/03/17/f01c68.jpg

[taai gihk yahn]

I just returned from a tournament where one of the schools looked like that.
My student tells me I need to be more subtle. She says, "You had that expression on your face like you just ate a bad pistaschio nut."
Yeah, it's called my,"WTF is THAT!?" face.:mad:

yeah, I had that look earlier this morning watching some FB videos of forms done at that tourney by some competitors that were at best only vaguely reminiscent of what they originally looked like...:rolleyes:

[sanjuro_ronin]

All forms are made up, it's just the ones that suck that no one likes.

[Scott R. Brown]

All forms are made up, it's just the ones that suck that no one likes.

Straight to the point and well said........however......

you have not provided the appropriate visual aide to emphasize your point!!!:eek:

What would you do without me :cool: to remind you of these important details??? :)

[sanjuro_ronin]

Straight to the point and well said........however......

you have not provided the appropriate visual aide to emphasize your point!!!:eek:

What would you do without me :cool: to remind you of these important details??? :)

Indeed, check out these series of moves:
http://softporal.ucoz.ru/Wallparers/HotBabesWallpapersPack205.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

And this double elbow strike is awesome !
http://www.martialedge.net/images/stories/special-features/article-images/bond%20babe.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

This posture is called "enticing the snake".
http://softcorenudes.net/a-breathtakers-holly-white-panties-hot-blonde-nude-babe.jpg

[Scott R. Brown]

Darn it!!!

Now I've forgotten what you said....perhaps MORE visual aides would help my memory!:confused:

[Drake]

Like it or not, hot blonde Aussie chicks draw students. The stances can be ridiculous, the combat applications negligible, and the history muddled and inaccurate. But if you get a chance to score with that girl... it's worth it. :D

[sanjuro_ronin]

Like it or not, hot blonde Aussie chicks draw students. The stances can be ridiculous, the combat applications negligible, and the history muddled and inaccurate. But if you get a chance to score with that girl... it's worth it. :D

Yep:
http://open.salon.com/files/sexy_australian_flag_bikini1246398305.jpg

[Drake]

And before you know it I'm signed up for a 24 month commitment at $150 a month...

[MasterKiller]

And before you know it I'm signed up for a 24 year commitment at $3,000 a month...

Fixed that...

[Drake]

Fixed that...

It'd better come with a "happy ending"!