Seppukku
05-19-2010, 04:31 PM
During a recent seminar at the commune, I invited a local Brazilian Jiujitsu sensei to give us a rundown on some sweet moves, mostly because my students wanted to see if BJJ was street effective.
They were surprised to learn that I thought those moves were actually pretty sweet. The BJJ sensei told me that he was willing to teach me the moves of his katas so we could supplement our regimen with BJJ groundfighting techniques. I politely declined.
The reason I gave him is the reason I'm going to give to you all, free of charge.
See, Groundfighting is shortsighted. It's a guarantee that most fights with ordinary mortal men will eventually go to the ground--that's true. And therefore, a healthy dose of slick moves on the ground are a good thing to have in your pocket---but that's not all you want to have in your pocket. After all, even if most fights against ordinary mortal men eventually go to the ground, what happens if you're not fighting an ordinary mortal man---say, if you're fighting the illicit hellspawn of Satan on the Day of Doom?
When the Zombie Apocalypse is, yea, fully upon us, I do not think a triangle choke will be enough to behead the wicked Legion of Beelzebub and send their blackened souls to that dreadful Gehenna from whence they have come. A katana is the only tool for the job. And even if you got a zombie into a triangle choke, you're just setting him up to unman you by chomping off your progentive unmentionables and conscripting you into the hateful service of Satan in a single bite. And an armbar? Might as well just ask him to rip out your femural artery and hamstring you---you're giving him a shmorgiscyborg (Sp?) without giving him a fight.
Besides, I wouldn't want to be on the ground when 30 zombies are there, ready to rip your head off and eat your brains. That would just be stupid. Instead, just spinning hook kick him in the temple or shove your samurai dagger in his eye socket. If you're fighting him on the ground, you'd already be halfway to hell before the legions of zombies in the fresh earth took hold of your limbs and drag you into Hell.
Groundfighting? eh, okay, but shortsighted.
They were surprised to learn that I thought those moves were actually pretty sweet. The BJJ sensei told me that he was willing to teach me the moves of his katas so we could supplement our regimen with BJJ groundfighting techniques. I politely declined.
The reason I gave him is the reason I'm going to give to you all, free of charge.
See, Groundfighting is shortsighted. It's a guarantee that most fights with ordinary mortal men will eventually go to the ground--that's true. And therefore, a healthy dose of slick moves on the ground are a good thing to have in your pocket---but that's not all you want to have in your pocket. After all, even if most fights against ordinary mortal men eventually go to the ground, what happens if you're not fighting an ordinary mortal man---say, if you're fighting the illicit hellspawn of Satan on the Day of Doom?
When the Zombie Apocalypse is, yea, fully upon us, I do not think a triangle choke will be enough to behead the wicked Legion of Beelzebub and send their blackened souls to that dreadful Gehenna from whence they have come. A katana is the only tool for the job. And even if you got a zombie into a triangle choke, you're just setting him up to unman you by chomping off your progentive unmentionables and conscripting you into the hateful service of Satan in a single bite. And an armbar? Might as well just ask him to rip out your femural artery and hamstring you---you're giving him a shmorgiscyborg (Sp?) without giving him a fight.
Besides, I wouldn't want to be on the ground when 30 zombies are there, ready to rip your head off and eat your brains. That would just be stupid. Instead, just spinning hook kick him in the temple or shove your samurai dagger in his eye socket. If you're fighting him on the ground, you'd already be halfway to hell before the legions of zombies in the fresh earth took hold of your limbs and drag you into Hell.
Groundfighting? eh, okay, but shortsighted.