Bizarro World: mma comps run by "traditionalists"

[KC Elbows]

The events:

speedbag
heavy bag
the throwing dummy
jumping rope
traditional smack talk
Holding orthodox stance
Holding southpaw stance
touch sparring, no head shots, anything close to fighting will lead to prompt disqualification

Seminars offered:

The killing jab
Iron chin
The medicine ball and lovemaking

It all begins with the masters demo, in which the greats shadow box to the amazement of the kids.

[sanjuro_ronin]

You forgot:
50 meter shrimping contest
Pummeling contest
Full contact point stick fighting ( no contact permitted).


Seminars:
The Guard and Tantric sex, why YOU must learn it !
The Clinch, History and traditions from Ancient Greece to Modern LA ( free lube for the first 20 participants.

[Lucas]

Are there going to be any seminars on recovering the hidden ground work in my forms so i can defeat bjj?????!??!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?

[KC Elbows]

There will also be free seminars on the proper way to sync a Disturbed song for your youtube video.

All competitors will be expected to have their heads freshly shaved for the event. We will not have a repeat of Razorburn '09!

[Dragonzbane76]

Are there going to be any seminars on recovering the hidden ground work in my forms so i can defeat bjj?????!??!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?

yes right after thai kicks to thigh without the partner.

[KC Elbows]

Are there going to be any seminars on recovering the hidden ground work in my forms so i can defeat bjj?????!??!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?

Learn it the proper way, in the bjj solo rolling division.

[Drake]

I hated shrimping. I really hated shrimping over fire ant hills.

[KC Elbows]

yes right after thai kicks to thigh without the partner.

We've got a good deal on balsawood thighs.

For those interested in spicing up your muay thai school, we will be selling breakable plastic banana trees in the lobby.

[Dragonzbane76]

For those interested in spicing up your muay thai school, we will be selling breakable plastic banana trees in the lobby.

:p:D.............

[KC Elbows]

Don't forget, there'll be fun rides for the kids, we've got one that's like a tilt-a-whirl with two cars called "Grandpa Helio's Nutride".

[Iron_Eagle_76]

Don't forget, there'll be fun rides for the kids, we've got one that's like a tilt-a-whirl with two cars called "Grandpa Helio's Nutride".

ROFLMAO!!!!!!! Dude, please don't say something like this again while I'm taking a drink, I just spit water all over my screen.

[lkfmdc]

touch sparring, no head shots, anything close to fighting will lead to prompt disqualification



did you SEE the thread in the southern forum with the "point fighting"? Astoundingly, those WERE THE RULES :eek:

[Iron_Eagle_76]

Competitors must wear head gear with cage, 30 oz. boxing gloves, two sets of shin guards, chest protector, thigh protector, mouth piece, elbow pads, knee pads, scrotum pads, and neck brace. No contact what so ever is permitted!

[lkfmdc]

Read the thread, view the video

http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=57678

[KC Elbows]

We're dedicating this competition to the year 2007, which, as you all know, was the year that mma finally proved what all fighting is, at which point nothing novel could possibly be intoduced to the complete knowledge laid at our feet by sifu Gracie and the Fedor Luohan.

This competition is being provided by Frank Dubbles Academy of MMA. Come in and check us out, and maybe join the "smoker's club" where you get to feel what it's like to fight a stranger knowing it will be a safe and non-confrontational two minute round with a trainer from Frank Dubbles Academy of MMA doing real fight-like activity. Join now!

[KC Elbows]

did you SEE the thread in the southern forum with the "point fighting"? Astoundingly, those WERE THE RULES :eek:

I really dread looking at rules for some competitions. I haven't looked at the link you sent, but some amount to a watermelon seed spitting contest with a no spitting rule.

Just never sounded fun.

[Iron_Eagle_76]

Read the thread, view the video

http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=57678

Watching that video makes me realize once again how much I hate point fighting. On a related topic, why do the judges take so **** long to get the fight (said lightly) started. Here is what usually happens in point fighting competion:

Douchebag Judge 1: Explains the rules even though the person's sifu or coach should have got the rules at the black belt meeting. Shoots the breeze with the other judges for 2 or 3 minutes about something stupid and non related to the fight or competition.

Now we are ready. Bow here, bow to each other, bow to the other judges, bow to the time keeper, bow to the spectators in the stands, bow to the janitor mopping the sh**it house floor over there, bow to that dog, bow to Krom, ect. ect. ect. It's a wonder someone doesn't pass out from boredome just waiting to fight.

[Drake]

Some of you guys really just want Thunderdome. Admit it. Two men enter, one man leaves.

[Dragonzbane76]

exactly...

[David Jamieson]

compare *****es.

[SPJ]

I thought

1, point spar karate

2. throw only judo

3. full contact lei tai, san shou

4. punches only boxing

5. kicks mostly tkd

---

[SPJ]

6 ground games mostly wrestling, mma

---

[bawang]

compare *****es.

mine is 2.8 cm long
erect

u??

[cerebus]

mine is 2.8 cm long
erect

u??

No Kidding? Mine too! Oh wait... I thought you said 28 cm, my bad...