Shortest Books Ever (As written by KFM people)

[MasterKiller]

"Internet Etiquette" by LKFMDC

"Modestly Dressed Women" by Sanjuro Ronin

"My Summer with Blooming Lotus" by Gene Ching

[MasterKiller]

"Diversify your Skillset" by Hardwork108

"Proper Gym Hygiene" by Uki

[David Jamieson]

"Tact and you" - Kansuke

"My world of Martial Arts" - Hardwork108

"Serious topics" - 1bad65

"What I know for sure" - Mysterious Power

"being trong" - Bawang

"How to politely inform; A Canadian Perspective" -David Jamieson

"Banning made easy" - Gene Ching

"How to Moderate" -anonymous

[Lucas]

"Offending Grandma, for Dummies" GDA

[David Jamieson]

"Offending Grandma, for Dummies" GDA

lol, that wouldn't be short, that would be an epic tome! :D

[Dragonzbane76]

lol some great ones in there.

[taai gihk yahn]

"The KFMF Guide to Successful Trolling" - Justadude103

"L'Argent Ou Est La Bouche: My Life as a Full-Contact Ring Fighter" - t niehoff

"Crosstraining Wing Chun and BJJ - Embracing Your Inner MMA" - HW 108

"The Tao of Rational Internet Discourse" - Hendrick

"Put Down That Letter Opener: A Guide to Transitioning Out of the Field of Martial Arts Publishing" - Gene Ching


on the flip side...

"A Phenomenological Overview and Existential Examination Towards a Universal Methodology of Concise Explanations: A General Survey; Vol. 1 - 24 " - TGY

"TGY's: A Phenomenological Overview and Existential Examination Towards a Universal Methodology of Concise Explanations: A General Survey; Vol. 1 - 24: The Annotated Edition " - Scott R. Brown

[jdhowland]

on the flip side...

"A Phenomenological Overview and Existential Examination Towards a Universal Methodology of Concise Explanations: A General Survey; Vol. 1 - 24 " - TGY

"TGY's: A Phenomenological Overview and Existential Examination Towards a Universal Methodology of Concise Explanations: A General Survey; Vol. 1 - 24: The Annotated Edition " - Scott R. Brown

Haven't read this yet. It was recommended but not required reading for my technical writing class.

But among the shorter works by the same author I recommend:
The Mysterious Power of Qi: how to heal yourself and others at any distance and defeat any attacker with no effort, as dictated to TGY by the numinous Celestial Master ROM.
Wildeye Books, 1995 hb.

And might as well put in a plug for my own slim volume:
Dethroning the Pontif: how to write plainly and avoid sounding like a pompous arse. Vanity Press 1983 (currently out of stock).

[lkfmdc]

"Internet Etiquette" by LKFMDC



eh, screw you :p

[taai gihk yahn]

eh, screw you :p

well, yeah, that's pretty much the whole book...

[PHILBERT]

"Why Wing Chun Kung Fu is Effective for MMA" by Frost

"Your Wing Chun is the Real Wing Chun" by Wing Chun forum

[Scott R. Brown]

on the flip side...

"A Phenomenological Overview and Existential Examination Towards a Universal Methodology of Concise Explanations: A General Survey; Vol. 1 - 24 " - TGY

"TGY's: A Phenomenological Overview and Existential Examination Towards a Universal Methodology of Concise Explanations: A General Survey; Vol. 1 - 24: The Annotated Edition " - Scott R. Brown

Suggested reading:

Words I Don’t Know - by TGY

What I Don’t Know - by SRB

A Commentary On Words TGY Doesn't Know - by SRB

A Commentary On What SRB Doesn't Know - by TGY

Oooops! Sorry that would be a long one, but it wouldn't say a thing!:eek:

And lastly:

How to Kill An Internet Know-It-All In One Easy Step! - by SRB

[taai gihk yahn]

"My Most Frequently Used Northern Shaolin Groundfighting Techniques and the Forms They Are Hidden In" - Knifefighter

"My Door is Always Closed: Secret Anal Qigong Retention Techniques" - Dale Dugas

"The Zen of Juggling: a Mason's Guide to Corporate Multitasking" - Uki

"Martha Stewart's Guide to Scenic Backyard Videotaping" - No_Know

"Kung Fu Birthday Parties in the Ming Dynasty: The True Roots of Chinese Martial Arts" - bawang

[IronWeasel]

"The Mouth Boxer Rebellion" by Dale Dugas


"Ninja Girls, a Pop Up Book" by Sanjuro Ronin

[David Jamieson]

well actually that book isn't a pop up. lost in translation there, but definitely popping up is involved...just not with the book itself...

[Dragonzbane76]

"How I lost my medication, and now foam at the mouth" by Lokhopkuen

[PHILBERT]

How To Make Friends and Influence People by GDA

[TenTigers]

"In Layman's Terms," by TGY
previously entitled,
"Berlitz book of Simplified Conversational English for Aliens and Androids," by TGY

[TenTigers]

"Unifying CLF, a concise history" by, HSK and extrajoseph
(this joint effort will be published, just as soon as the authors can agree on what color ink to use...)

[TenTigers]

"You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression" By BGZ Badboy
How to create an instant rapport leading to lasting friendships, with anyone in moments.
(this is actually not a book, but an infomercial. Total running time:00000.2 sec.)

[ShaolinDan]

"Avoiding Logical Fallacy, An In-Depth Examination of Common Rhetorical Oversights," Anthology edited by KFMF Publishers.

[brothernumber9]

"Who is Rick? You Just Got "Rolls" Rolled" - Rolls
"Rashguards - Things You Wanted To Know But Were Afraid To Ask" - MasterKiller
"The Juits!" - MerryPrankster
"Just a Squirrel Tryin' To Get a Nut" - No Know
"How I loved WKF and Shawn Liu, Let Me Count the Ways" - LKFMDC

[Dale Dugas]

Rik, it is funny that you bring up Badboy. His website went down, and his threats and posts about being a tough guy turned into nothing but the wind that comes out of his posterior.

He will be missed.

not.

[Lucas]

he sure made it interesting around here for a few days though.

[MasterKiller]

"Why women hate me" by MasterKiller

[Dragonzbane76]

"Wombat Thai jititsu, and the fall of the white man" Bawang :D

[Lucas]

"How to Judo Katana, in the Mind eye of the Spiritual Tiger" MEGAFIST (who remembers that crazy sob?)

[Iron_Eagle_76]

"Running an internet site full of dummies for dummies" by Gene Ching.

"Wing Chun, A Love Story" by Hardwork 108

"Monies for Kung Fu" by Bawang

"How to be 52 different people at once" by lkfmdc

"How to incite a riot in 25 seconds" by Dragonzbane76

[MasterKiller]

"Fooling People by Changing your Screen Name to Something Out of Character" by BJJ-Blue (foreword by 1bad65)

[MightyB]

Don't forget the classic children's book, "Good Night Mushroom" written and illustrated by Uki.

[Lucas]

dont you mean written, illustrated, and PERFORMED by uki? :p

[KC Elbows]

"LKFMDC's guide to all that is good in tma, with a lengthy forward by dragonzbane"

Also, David Jamieson's "How to moderate without annoyance" and KC Elbows "108 rules to moderating without totally losing faith in humanity, abridged", both of which are currently out of print.

[taai gihk yahn]

"The Slippery Slope of Satire - A Cautionary Tale." - KC Elbows

"Wayne Newton and Public Busing: The Only Ways I Rock and Roll" - Ten Tigers

"Ecumenicalism and Islam: Cutting Edge Strategies for Interfaith Tolerance and Understanding in a Post 9/11 World" - 1bad65 w/intro by goju

[taai gihk yahn]

"Take Off, Eh?: A Local's Guide to Hot Canadian Strippers" - Sanjuro Ronin

"Get Hosed, Ya Hoser: Another Local's Guide to Decent Canadian Beer" - David Jamieson

"Sundays in the Park With TGY: My Secret Deconstruction Love Affair" - LKFMDC

[TenTigers]

"Urine Love-a brewmaster's guide to making and recycling your own beer"
-by Dale Dugas

[TenTigers]

"Mysterious Power-High Level skill training, and how to achieve it"
-author unknown

[TenTigers]

"Martial Arts cults, scammers, and rip-off artists, and how to spot them"
by Kempoisbest

[taai gihk yahn]

"Question Everything You Are Taught or Told: A Skeptic's Guide to Learning Martial Arts" - any student of Shaolin Do or USSD

"Ethical Martial Arts Business Practice" - any instructor for USSD

"Professional Video Production and Editing" - any student of Nam Wing Chun

"Clearing the Clouds of Confusion: An Etymological Study of Chinese Character Radicals" - author unknown

[lkfmdc]

"How to be 52 different people at once" by lkfmdc



I am just Gene Ching, and HE is the other 53 people

[Dale Dugas]

"Urine Love-a brewmaster's guide to making and recycling your own beer"
-by Dale Dugas


Should be more like this:

Diamond Body and Beer: alchemical training for fun and invulnerability.

[goju]

"How to find acceptance as a white guy with a pony tail in TKD" by goju

Forward by epic beard man, ilustrations by lucas

Topics covered include....

Therapeutic techniques from world renown psychologists to find exceptence with yourself and a free dvd from an anonymous members metting where we share our stories!

:D

[ShaolinDan]

Diamond Body and Beer: alchemical training for fun and invulnerability. By Dale Dugas

I want this book!

[lkfmdc]

"That dark, deep tan" by Master Killer

[TenTigers]

Should be more like this:

Diamond Body and Beer: alchemical training for fun and invulnerability.
I would read that too.Put beer in the title and it's an instant win.
i.e. "Do it yourself root canal and beer"
or, "Anal fissures and Beer: 1001 uses for those empties."

..ok, there might be a flaw in my logic....

[GeneChing]

Delete this thread by MK

[KC Elbows]

Stuff on the Top Shelf by Knifefighter, introduction by Sanjuro-Ronin.

Just let it go: A newbies guide to low key online political discussion by 1bad, brief forward by bjj-blue.

Could we talk about groundfighting? The life and times of Goju ghostwritten by SPJ.

[Merryprankster]

"Who is Rick? You Just Got "Rolls" Rolled" - Rolls
"Rashguards - Things You Wanted To Know But Were Afraid To Ask" - MasterKiller
"The Juits!" - MerryPrankster
"Just a Squirrel Tryin' To Get a Nut" - No Know
"How I loved WKF and Shawn Liu, Let Me Count the Ways" - LKFMDC

What's a Juits?

[MightyB]

"The Connoisseur's Guide to the Perfect Bacon Sammich" written and illustrated by OSO.

It's the followup to his last hit, "That Won't Make Me Go Blind?... Will it?" Alternatively titled: "Everything you wanted to know about moonshine but were afraid to ask".

[Wayfaring]

"Your Internet Image: The Art of Projecting a Humble Front" by MasterKiller

[sanjuro_ronin]

Stuff on the Top Shelf by Knifefighter, introduction by Sanjuro-Ronin.



Son of a ....:mad:

My happy sex life - KC elbows

:p

[MightyB]

"Who Moved My Chi?, the Definitive Guide to the Post Print Publication World for Writers" - by Gene Ching

[KC Elbows]

None Dare Call it Love by Hardwork and LKFMDC.

[Yum Cha]

"The History of Bwang", by B. Trong

"Portuguese Cuisine, the HARD way", by Sanjuro Ronin

"The Secret Blade Art of the Moyle," by Ten Tigers

"A Young Girls Guide to Tact, Poise and Diplomacy" by Knifefighter

And a new release from the Hip Hop world, "Lukhupkuen's Greatest Hits"

"A Bangers Guide to Brooklyn", by Buby

"A Bangers Guide to Oakland" , by HSK

"BDSM and How to make it work in the ring" by Masterkiller

"You want a book, write the b1tch yourself mouthboxer!" by Dale Dugas

[bawang]

"i love chinese people" by david ross
"hardcore spartan training for mma" by hardwork108
"how to be a gay and pretend to be chinese on internet and get my knowledge about kung fu from chinese wikipedia" by hendrik

[Lucas]

lol

'how i beat the internet' an autobiography by bawang

[MasterKiller]

"Dating Classy Women" by Rik Kellerman. Introduction by RoyalDragon

[MightyB]

"Crazy White People and the Asians Who Love Them" -- by Bawang. Forward by Gene Ching.

[TenTigers]

"Dating Classy Women" by Rik Kellerman. Introduction by RoyalDragon
heck, the introduction is probably longer than the book...

[MasterKiller]

http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2010/8/11/14/cinnamon-bun-earrings-1802-1281553058-20.jpg

[Dragonzbane76]

lolz.... wonder what the special ingredients are? :p

[brothernumber9]

What's a Juits?

You told a story a long time ago about eating dinner with a group including a guy who during discussion found you know Jiu-Juitsu, you implied that he seemd to be a sorta deuchy seudo MA wanna be maybe, and at one point he said something to the effect of, "yeah I know the 'Juits'". made me LOL. I remember it because when I go out to watch UFC at a local bar, I'll always throw that out every once in a while.

[mickey]

Greetings,


"My Hands are Hung" by Ten Tigers

"The Knuckledusters" by Sanjuro Ronin

"When the Sauce was Sweet" by Gene Ching

"It Tain't the Tain't" by doug maverick

"Feathered to Convulsion: A Study On Social Depravity" by Scott R. Brown

"If Buddha had a Palm...." by Dale Dugas

[Hardwork108]

"How to invite Dave Ross to dinner, without loosing your cutlery". Taai Gihk Yahn.

"My Super Brain and The Greatness of the New World Order". David Jamieson.

"The Ten Commandments of Morality". LKFMDC

"Curing Schizophrenia". LKFMDC, Bawang and Kansuke.

"Watch Your Opponent and Not The Lady With the Big Tits! My Life in the Fighting Ring". Sanjuro_Ronin

"Olympic Weight Training for Internal Chi Development and Looking Good At the Beach". Frost

"Stalking, for Dummies". Dragonzbane76

"The Art of Kung Fu Cluelessness". Terence Niehoff. Forword by Dave Ross, Frost, Dragonzbane, Knifefighter and Iron Eagle.

"Going Where You Are Not Wanted". Knifefighter

"My Middle Finger and I, A True and deep Love Story". Iron Eagle

[taai gihk yahn]

cinnamon-bun-earrings
so you manage to make enough glaze for about, what, one or two a year?

[CLFLPstudent]

"How to invite Dave Ross to dinner, without loosing your cutlery". Taai Gihk Yahn.

"My Super Brain and The Greatness of the New World Order". David Jamieson.

"The Ten Commandments of Morality". LKFMDC

"Curing Schizophrenia". LKFMDC, Bawang and Kansuke.

"Watch Your Opponent and Not The Lady With the Big Tits! My Life in the Fighting Ring". Sanjuro_Ronin

"Olympic Weight Training for Internal Chi Development and Looking Good At the Beach". Frost

"Stalking, for Dummies". Dragonzbane76

"The Art of Kung Fu Cluelessness". Terence Niehoff. Forword by Dave Ross, Frost, Dragonzbane, Knifefighter and Iron Eagle.

"Going Where You Are Not Wanted". Knifefighter

"My Middle Finger and I, A True and deep Love Story". Iron Eagle

I think the whole gist of this thread is lost on HW108. But then again, what isn't?

-David

[Hardwork108]

I think the whole gist of this thread is lost on HW108. But then again, what isn't?

-David

It is lost on you, for sure. I believe that we have all gathered that it is a fun thread, but a little bit of truth does not go a miss, either.:D

[taai gihk yahn]

I think the whole gist of this thread is lost on HW108. But then again, what isn't?

-David

yes, but to be fair, he's not the only one, several other folks here have misunderstood the point that it would be a book about what they don't know or wouldn't do; for example:

"The Eternal Thread: Taoist Immortality Secrets for Online Forums" - Master Killer (because he deletes his threads a lot - get it?)

[CLFLPstudent]

It is lost on you, for sure. I believe that we have all gathered that it is a fun thread, but a little bit of truth does not go a miss, either.:D

No, the thread say's "shortest" books ever. Your attempt at irony would make one think those books you mentioned would be long books. Hence, the thread is lost on you.

-David

[Hardwork108]

No, the thread say's "shortest" books ever. Your attempt at irony would make one think those books you mentioned would be long books. Hence, the thread is lost on you.

-David

Oh, I see...............................Sorry.:D

[taai gihk yahn]

It is lost on you, for sure. I believe that we have all gathered that it is a fun thread, but a little bit of truth does not go a miss, either.:D

yes, but the thing is, all the other titles come up with are a gentle ribbing based on a given member's behavior patterns that are generally acknowledged by the forum community at large, but there is no pejorative connotation to them, and they do not reflect any sort of acrimony;

on the contrary, the majority of your titles are based on your rancorous dealings with others, and indeed it's clear that you personally believe that the titles are truly representative of the views of the posters in question; so it's not just poking fun anymore, it's you reflecting your personal polemic regarding the people in question; in fact, it's not really funny at all because you use pretty much the same phrasing to describe the member's on your list in your regular posts; and to refer to it as "the truth" is just piszy;

in fact, if you go back and read through the thread, you will see that the titles ascribed to you do not actually insult you, they simply underscore the antithesis of your general position regarding stuff like cross training - no one came up with anything like "Go for the Nuts on the Low Hanging Branch: A Forager's Guide to Spartan Living" - that would just be insulting, not funny (well, not too funny);

anyway, if you want to participate in the fun stuff, you gotta chill out and drop the whole m.o. of emphasizing how clueless you think some people are;

[Syn7]

how to keep your mouth shut; a collection of forum essays...

[Syn7]

yes, but the thing is, all the other titles come up with are a gentle ribbing based on a given member's behavior patterns that are generally acknowledged by the forum community at large, but there is no pejorative connotation to them, and they do not reflect any sort of acrimony;

on the contrary, the majority of your titles are based on your rancorous dealings with others, and indeed it's clear that you personally believe that the titles are truly representative of the views of the posters in question; so it's not just poking fun anymore, it's you reflecting your personal polemic regarding the people in question; in fact, it's not really funny at all because you use pretty much the same phrasing to describe the member's on your list in your regular posts; and to refer to it as "the truth" is just piszy;

in fact, if you go back and read through the thread, you will see that the titles ascribed to you do not actually insult you, they simply underscore the antithesis of your general position regarding stuff like cross training - no one came up with anything like "Go for the Nuts on the Low Hanging Branch: A Forager's Guide to Spartan Living" - that would just be insulting, not funny (well, not too funny);

anyway, if you want to participate in the fun stuff, you gotta chill out and drop the whole m.o. of emphasizing how clueless you think some people are;

hey, i like this guy... ;)

[Hardwork108]

yes, but to be fair, he's not the only one, several other folks here have misunderstood the point that it would be a book about what they don't know or wouldn't do; for example:

"The Eternal Thread: Taoist Immortality Secrets for Online Forums" - Master Killer (because he deletes his threads a lot - get it?)

Point taken, albeit late. CLF Student seems to have only noticed me, because for some mysterious reason he does not seem to like me.:confused: :D

[SoCo KungFu]

Point taken, albeit late. CLF Student seems to have only noticed me, because for some mysterious reason he does not seem to like me.:confused: :D

You get that a lot don't you? It must be tough dealing with so much rejection....

[Hardwork108]

yes, but the thing is, all the other titles come up with are a gentle ribbing based on a given member's behavior patterns that are generally acknowledged by the forum community at large, but there is no pejorative connotation to them, and they do not reflect any sort of acrimony;

on the contrary, the majority of your titles are based on your rancorous dealings with others, and indeed it's clear that you personally believe that the titles are truly representative of the views of the posters in question; so it's not just poking fun anymore, it's you reflecting your personal polemic regarding the people in question; in fact, it's not really funny at all because you use pretty much the same phrasing to describe the member's on your list in your regular posts; and to refer to it as "the truth" is just piszy;

in fact, if you go back and read through the thread, you will see that the titles ascribed to you do not actually insult you, they simply underscore the antithesis of your general position regarding stuff like cross training - no one came up with anything like "Go for the Nuts on the Low Hanging Branch: A Forager's Guide to Spartan Living" - that would just be insulting, not funny (well, not too funny);

anyway, if you want to participate in the fun stuff, you gotta chill out and drop the whole m.o. of emphasizing how clueless you think some people are;

Seeing insults can also be a little bit subjective. For example, my "book titles" were not insulting to you, nor to Sanjuro. As for Dragonzbane76, then the fact that he used to stalk me for a long time is well known. LOL.

Terrence, himself (like many others here) is not really a kung fu exponent, but a MMA-ist, yet he talks above his head and insults people who do not agree with him on TCMA subject matters that he is clueless about. So, my "book title" for him was not so out of place. Knifefighter, has a lot in common with Terence, and he got off light, if you ask me.

Nothing serios happened with Frost either. Given the chance, he would probably write a book about the benefits of Olympic weight training to chi development. Now, that would be short book for sure. LOL

As for the rest, consider that a moment of "weakness" on my part........

Anyway, I find this thread very funny and entertaining, so lets see what else we can come up with that can enhance the humor here.

[Hardwork108]

You get that a lot don't you? It must be tough dealing with so much rejection....

All geniuses have to deal with rejection, but in the end, I will make real kung fu practitioners out of all of you clueless knuckleheads. Wait and see!!! :D:cool:

[Dragonzbane76]

Seeing insults can also be a little bit subjective. For example, my "book titles" were not insulting to you, nor to Sanjuro. As for Dragonzbane76, then the fact that he used to stalk me for a long time is well known. LOL.

go back to the hole you fu cking crawled out of.

[Merryprankster]

You told a story a long time ago about eating dinner with a group including a guy who during discussion found you know Jiu-Juitsu, you implied that he seemd to be a sorta deuchy seudo MA wanna be maybe, and at one point he said something to the effect of, "yeah I know the 'Juits'". made me LOL. I remember it because when I go out to watch UFC at a local bar, I'll always throw that out every once in a while.

LOL! I wonder which one it was...

There was a guy who was about two seconds from having his ass handed to him, pre-surgery ****ed up shoulder or not, because he was SUCH a ****, or the midget with a Napoleon complex who did BJJ to feel better about himself. He was very careful to measure himself against my accomplishments, then tucked like a tranny when he realized he was toast.

[Hardwork108]

As for Dragonzbane76, then the fact that he used to stalk me for a long time is well known. LOL.



go back to the hole you fu cking crawled out of.

See, there he goes again...LOL!

[Dragonzbane76]

See, there he goes again...LOL!

:rolleyes:

http://rlv.zcache.com/cow_says_moo_photosculpture-p1536854474139963753s98_400.jpg

[Hardwork108]

:rolleyes:

http://rlv.zcache.com/cow_says_moo_photosculpture-p1536854474139963753s98_400.jpg

You can say "Moo" all you want, but nobody is listening to you.........LOL!

[Dragonzbane76]

You can say "Moo" all you want, but nobody is listening to you.........LOL!

apparently you are.:rolleyes:

now get the fu ck away from me you infectious piece of sh!t

[KC Elbows]

Jesus This Is An Interesting Flamewar, I Hope It Goes On Forever by KC Elbows.:D

[KC Elbows]

The 10,000 reasons to Interrupt a Conversation by Hardwork and Dragonzbane76, with a brief forward started by Knifefighter, interrupted by Goju, picked up again by T Neihoff as Knifefighter, with a brief "yeah!" by BJJ-Blue in support of Neihoff channeling Knifefighter, with a retorting continuation of the original introduction by Knifefighter stating that the interrupting methods of Goju had never worked in all the videos he had ever seen, with an interruption by Dragonzbane76 attempting to actually start the book, with an interruption by Hardwork wondering how Dragonzbane planned on starting a book, knowing only sportive literary techniques and being clueless, with an interruption of the interruption of the Introduction by Dragonzbane telling Hardwork to "fall in a sewer hole and breath deep you god****ed mouth breather", with a preface interupting the introduction saying that Hardwork had not studied traditional writing methods under a well established lineage, followed by a dedication to "The gentle art of discourse", followed by an unknown one-time poster writing in a manner one must assume is acheived through wearing mittens while smoking meth and typing a message that Stephen Hawkings then uses his mouth to drive a voice machine that tells Helen Keller what to type, followed by a picture of a boobie.

The reason that the book is short is because the introduction is never finished.

[sanjuro_ronin]

The 10,000 reasons to Interrupt a Conversation by Hardwork and Dragonzbane76, with a brief forward started by Knifefighter, interrupted by Goju, picked up again by T Neihoff as Knifefighter, with a brief "yeah!" by BJJ-Blue in support of Neihoff channeling Knifefighter, with a retorting continuation of the original introduction by Knifefighter stating that the interrupting methods of Goju had never worked in all the videos he had ever seen, with an interruption by Dragonzbane76 attempting to actually start the book, with an interruption by Hardwork wondering how Dragonzbane planned on starting a book, knowing only sportive literary techniques and being clueless, with an interruption of the interruption of the Introduction by Dragonzbane telling Hardwork to "fall in a sewer hole and breath deep you god****ed mouth breather", with a preface interupting the introduction saying that Hardwork had not studied traditional writing methods under a well established lineage, followed by a dedication to "The gentle art of discourse", followed by an unknown one-time poster writing in a manner one must assume is acheived through wearing mittens while smoking meth and typing a message that Stephen Hawkings then uses his mouth to drive a voice machine that tells Helen Keller what to type, followed by a picture of a boobie.

http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/29/bbbob-knockers.JPG

[KC Elbows]

Too Deadly For The Sheets: The dark side of iron palm by Sanjuro Ronin.

[David Jamieson]

Or, from other dimensions of perception...

http://secondhandkarl.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/breasts-226x300.jpg

[KC Elbows]

Wow, there really can be too much of a good thing.

[David Jamieson]

Wow, there really can be too much of a good thing.

I think I can find a multiple vagina installation art piece if I look hard enough.

I know there are a couple of feminist artists who dwell on the vagina and have made a couple of huge ones. I think these were portraits of a british prime minister though...possibly an american president...:p

[KC Elbows]

The Vagina Lincoln Logs and Other Sculpture: A Contemporary Art Coloring Book For Kids(with free red crayon) by David Jamieson.

[Syn7]

no no... britains PM is a giant pus$y, but the american president is actually a giant douche... its why they seem to get along so well, as seen in both previous administrations...

[Syn7]

(with free red crayon)

eewww............

[KC Elbows]

Things I Just Won't Say by KC Elbows.

[MasterKiller]

I was Wrong by BJJ-Blue/1bad65

[Dragonzbane76]

The 10,000 reasons to Interrupt a Conversation by Hardwork and Dragonzbane76, with a brief forward started by Knifefighter, interrupted by Goju, picked up again by T Neihoff as Knifefighter, with a brief "yeah!" by BJJ-Blue in support of Neihoff channeling Knifefighter, with a retorting continuation of the original introduction by Knifefighter stating that the interrupting methods of Goju had never worked in all the videos he had ever seen, with an interruption by Dragonzbane76 attempting to actually start the book, with an interruption by Hardwork wondering how Dragonzbane planned on starting a book, knowing only sportive literary techniques and being clueless, with an interruption of the interruption of the Introduction by Dragonzbane telling Hardwork to "fall in a sewer hole and breath deep you god****ed mouth breather", with a preface interupting the introduction saying that Hardwork had not studied traditional writing methods under a well established lineage, followed by a dedication to "The gentle art of discourse", followed by an unknown one-time poster writing in a manner one must assume is acheived through wearing mittens while smoking meth and typing a message that Stephen Hawkings then uses his mouth to drive a voice machine that tells Helen Keller what to type, followed by a picture of a boobie.

The reason that the book is short is because the introduction is never finished.

awesome my intro is longer than my book. :)

always good to make a good first impression.

[Hardwork108]

apparently you are.:rolleyes:

That is because I am trying to help you.:D


now get the fu ck away from me you infectious piece of sh!t

:eek:

Wow, it seems that you are finally beginning to grasp the art of ironic literature. It took you long enough...LOL!

[Hardwork108]

The 10,000 reasons to Interrupt a Conversation by Hardwork and Dragonzbane76, with a brief forward started by Knifefighter, interrupted by Goju, picked up again by T Neihoff as Knifefighter, with a brief "yeah!" by BJJ-Blue in support of Neihoff channeling Knifefighter, with a retorting continuation of the original introduction by Knifefighter stating that the interrupting methods of Goju had never worked in all the videos he had ever seen, with an interruption by Dragonzbane76 attempting to actually start the book, with an interruption by Hardwork wondering how Dragonzbane planned on starting a book, knowing only sportive literary techniques and being clueless, with an interruption of the interruption of the Introduction by Dragonzbane telling Hardwork to "fall in a sewer hole and breath deep you god****ed mouth breather", with a preface interupting the introduction saying that Hardwork had not studied traditional writing methods under a well established lineage, followed by a dedication to "The gentle art of discourse", followed by an unknown one-time poster writing in a manner one must assume is acheived through wearing mittens while smoking meth and typing a message that Stephen Hawkings then uses his mouth to drive a voice machine that tells Helen Keller what to type, followed by a picture of a boobie.

The reason that the book is short is because the introduction is never finished.

That was brilliant, KC, if I do say so myself.:)

[Hardwork108]

My reasons for loving BJJ-Blue/1bad, by Master Killer.

[Hardwork108]

"The Art of Intelligent Conversation", by Dragonzbane76

[Hardwork108]

"Understanding Authentic TCMAs", Dave Ross

[Hardwork108]

"How to Pick Up Real Women", David Jamieson.

[Drake]

"They REALLY are coming to get you, Barbara" by HW108

[Hardwork108]

"Developing Kung Fu Power and Internal Strength", by Frost. Forword by Arnold Schwarzenegger.:D

[Hardwork108]

"The Difference Between the Political Behavior of Hitler, Stalin and the Modern Anglo American Power Cartel", by Drake.

[sanjuro_ronin]

"The Art of Being a Faithful Husband", by Sanjuro Ronin. Forword by Hardwork108 :D

Hey, be nice !
That was a low blow.
Funny, but a low blow nonetheless and one with no merit whatsoever.

[Hardwork108]

Hey, be nice !
That was a low blow.
Funny, but a low blow nonetheless and one with no merit whatsoever.

Sorry, no low blow intented, just a joke, I even included myself in it, but I apologize and I will remove the post.

[KC Elbows]

The New World Short Order: 390 ways you can help reorganize the world into a masonic utopia by Hardwork.

Schlubsport: Why letting yourself go will make you a better fighter by Sevenstar.

Kumite? Kuminoway. Why the liberal media wants you to believe in Gene Chings so-called remote island death matches by Master Killer.

A Brief History of My Original Argument by BJJ-blue.

Things Written In Paragraph Form by SPJ.

A Brief History of Brevity by TGY.

Why Not Every Argument Has to Do With Bad Kungfu by Drake.

Between Two Boobs: A Social History of the Joy Experienced By Those Who Befriend Both Traditionalists and Mixed Martial Artists by Sanjuro-Ronin.

[Drake]

"YouTube: The Gateway To Truth and Honesty" by HW108

[sanjuro_ronin]

Sorry, no low blow intented, just a joke, I even included myself in it, but I apologize and I will remove the post.

LOL, My skin is not so thin, you can leave it up.
As long as it was in good humor all is cool.

[sanjuro_ronin]

Shortest book ever:
Conspiracies and why they DON'T exist, by HW8 :D

[Hardwork108]

"YouTube: The Gateway To Truth and Honesty" by HW108

"CIA: The Gateway To Truth, Honesty and Respect For Human Life", by Drake

[Hardwork108]

LOL, My skin is not so thin, you can leave it up.
As long as it was in good humor all is cool.

I just deleted it as it may be taken the wrong way if you have any family members reading these threads.:o

[KC Elbows]

Possibly Moresuch Ernie Reyes Jr. Shortish conciseish clear fiction for young people somesuch by No Know, forward by a squirrel.

[Hardwork108]

Shortest book ever:
Conspiracies and why they DON'T exist, by HW8 :D

Sharing first place with, "Conspiracies and Why They Exist", by Drake. :D

[KC Elbows]

I just deleted it as it may be taken the wrong way if you have any family members reading these threads.:o

In fairness, every time he changes his profile pic on facebook, my wife just assumes I'm surfing Brazillian porn.:mad:

[sanjuro_ronin]

I just deleted it as it may be taken the wrong way if you have any family members reading these threads.:o

My wife knows the trouble maker she has at home, LOL !

[sanjuro_ronin]

In fairness, every time he changes his profile pic on facebook, my wife just assumes I'm surfing Brazillian porn.:mad:

Are you on my face book dude?

[KC Elbows]

Are you on my face book dude?

Yes, we are friends on facebook, but now know not to expect a Christmas card.:D

[sanjuro_ronin]

Yes, we are friends on facebook, but now know not to expect a Christmas card.:D

Which one are you?
I am lousy with names...sorry.

[sanjuro_ronin]

Never mind, I found you, freaking tornado ninjas !

[KC Elbows]

Which one are you?
I am lousy with names...sorry.

The imminently respectable one, Canuck.

[KC Elbows]

Who's Who On Facebook by Sanjuro-Ronin.

[sanjuro_ronin]

ROTFLMAO !!!
Nice one.

[Hardwork108]

Are you on my face book dude?

You are on Facebook, eh?:D

[sanjuro_ronin]

You are on Facebook, eh?:D

In all my glory.

[KC Elbows]

I joke, but honestly, there's two people I'm friends with on there that I have no idea who they are, how I know them, and what they're talking about, but I don't want to take them off in case they like gave me a kidney as a child or something.

[taai gihk yahn]

You are on Facebook, eh?:D

we are ALL on there...

[taai gihk yahn]

The imminently respectable one, Canuck.

ooo, ooo, friend me, friend me!
http://blogs.tampabay.com/.a/6a00d83451b05569e20120a5777418970c-800wi

[Syn7]

The imminently respectable one, Canuck.

whos the canuck???

[Dragonzbane76]

That is because I am trying to help you.

when did i say i wanted your misguided directions?

"Spontaneous human combustion , how I defeated the MMA world." by HW8

[Hardwork108]

when did i say i wanted your misguided directions?

Every time you stalk me, you are crying out for help. So, I am doing the decent thing and trying to help you. LOL!


"Spontaneous human combustion , how I defeated the MMA world." by HW8

"Finding a Cure for Dragonzbane's Premature Combustion Problem", by Dr HW108 :D

"The Forum Discussions That I Have Won Against HW108", by Dragonzbane76

[Hardwork108]

we are ALL on there...

So am I. What a coincidence.:D

[Hardwork108]

In fairness, every time he changes his profile pic on facebook, my wife just assumes I'm surfing Brazillian porn.:mad:

And what is wrong with surfing Brazilian porn?:D

Actually, the best way to "surf" Brazilian porn is by living there, and living the life of adventures....;). That is one great country.:)

[Dragonzbane76]

"How I won the internet." By HW8

"Social networking and how to make friends." By HW8

[Hardwork108]

"My Brain's Contribution to My Life", Dragonzbane76

"My Intellectual Success in Internet Forums", Dragonzbane76

[sanjuro_ronin]

whos the canuck???

I am CANADIAN !!!
And Portuguese too :p

[lkfmdc]

"World Famous Portugese Canadians" - by Sanjuro Ronin

"Typing for accurancy, content and most importantly SPELLING" by LKFMDC

[sanjuro_ronin]

"World Famous Porgtugese Canadians" - by Sanjuro Ronin

How to spell European Nationalities correctly, by LKFMDC

[TenTigers]

"How to recognize your friends from KFO on facebook"
by...well, all of us probably.
I frankly, have no idea who half of my friends are, and they're probably all right here...

well, that's what I told the shrink so I can get the really good meds..you know the ones...

[TenTigers]

and don't call me Frankly

[sanjuro_ronin]

and don't call me Frankly

Ok Shirley.

[SoCo KungFu]

Ok Shirley.

Shirley doesn't really fit though. For some reason I picture him with red hair. I'm gonna say Darlene.

[KC Elbows]

Just Pick A Nationality by Sanjuro Ronin.

I'll Take The Lesser Dosage for $500 by TenTigers.

[Hardwork108]

How to spell European Nationalities correctly, by LKFMDC

How to Spell South American Countries' names, including Colombia, not "Columbia", Correctly! by LKFMDC

[Hardwork108]

"My Emergency Medical Care Procedure for an Injured HW108", by SoCoKung Fu.:D

[Syn7]

I am CANADIAN !!!
And Portuguese too :p

did it always say ontario on your thing:confused:

i swear i looked before:rolleyes:

[sanjuro_ronin]

did it always say ontario on your thing:confused:

i swear i looked before:rolleyes:

Quit looking at my thing !
:D

[SoCo KungFu]

"My Emergency Medical Care Procedure for an Injured HW108", by SoCoKung Fu.:D

Unless you happen to be hurt in the state of SC in which case I am required to maintain all reasonable levels of care until proper transfer to more equipped and extensive services become available.

[Hardwork108]

"How to Only Look and Admire the Ocean, While Walking on a Brasilian Beach"...Sanjuro Ronin. :D

[SoCo KungFu]

Quit looking at my thing !
:D

I've known some to get that pierced but never tattooed. Did it hurt?

[Hardwork108]

Unless you happen to be hurt in the state of SC in which case I am required to maintain all reasonable levels of care until proper transfer to more equipped and extensive services become available.

I wonder what you mean by "reasonable levels of care"....:eek::eek::eek:

[sanjuro_ronin]

"How to Only Look and Admire the Ocean, While Walking on a Brasilian Beach"...Sanjuro Ronin. :D

There's an ocean in Brasil ??
:confused:

[Hardwork108]

There's an ocean in Brasil ??
:confused:

LOL!

It took me some time to realize of the existance of an Ocean in Brasil. Before that, I had always wondered, and thankfully at that, about all the semi naked women lying down on the desert sands.......but then once I was enlightened about the existance of an ocean nearby, it all began to make sense.....:D

[Syn7]

I wonder what you mean by "reasonable levels of care"....:eek::eek::eek:

i guess that depends entirely on his insurance... if you have none then you get to bleed out on the floor of some overcrowded public hospital... :eek: :o

[Hardwork108]

i guess that depends entirely on his insurance... if you have none then you get to bleed out on the floor of some overcrowded public hospital... :eek: :o

I am afraid that because of my past history with him in this forum, I am going to be left to bleed to death, wether or not I have any insurance....:D

[taai gihk yahn]

So am I. What a coincidence.:D

that said, somehow I don't anticipate a friend request from you forthcoming in either the near or distant future...

but feel free to view my profile page, on which you will see the mountainous panorama I enjoyed for a week this past August :)

[Hardwork108]

that said, somehow I don't anticipate a friend request from you forthcoming in either the near or distant future...

but feel free to view my profile page, on which you will see the mountainous panorama I enjoyed for a week this past August :)

Actually, I think that you would make a cool friend, in or out of Facebook, but for now I would rather continue my discretion as far as my ID is concerned.

I have two Facebook profiles, one is for mainly for business, together with a bit of "socializing", the other is private profile to keep in contact with my Chow Gar, sifu and brothers.

I will try and find your profile during the weekend (my facebook time).:)

[David Jamieson]

*snip*
but feel free to view my profile page, on which you will see the mountainous panorama I enjoyed for a week this past August :)

I hope that's not a euphimism for "after" pictures from lunch and dinner...

..and aren't we all Canucks at heart? I mean come on, we got it good up here.

[SPJ]

I used to draw postures of forms

and then fold the drawing into a book like size.

if you unfold it correctly, you may follow all the moves from the begining to the end.

now that with scanning and pdf file and computer stuff

everything is in the computer nowadays.

---

if you have a kindle, ipad--, you may read a book paperless--

[Hardwork108]

that said, somehow I don't anticipate a friend request from you forthcoming in either the near or distant future...

but feel free to view my profile page, on which you will see the mountainous panorama I enjoyed for a week this past August :)

:eek: Wait a minute!!!! If I check your profile in the weekend then you will know who I am.....:eek::eek::eek:

[Syn7]

:eek: Wait a minute!!!! If I check your profile in the weekend then you will know who I am.....:eek::eek::eek:

and then hes gonna getcha...!!!:D

[Hardwork108]

and then hes gonna getcha...!!!:D

Him, and a few dozen forum members...:D

[Iron_Eagle_76]

"The Portuguese guide to Canadian breasts" by Sanjuro Ronin

"Kung Fu, Love, and Beer: A Hallmark Original" by David Jameison

"Everyone hates me but I don't care" by Knifefighter

"The art of being clueless on TCMA" by Iron Eagle, Dragonzbane, Knifefighter, Frost, T Niehoff, .................(sorry if I missed anyone)

"Flowery Wombat Combat: A guide to trick stupid white man" by Bawang

"Can't we all just get along" by Gene Ching

"How I learned to love Kung Fu Magazine and moderate liberally and with the best of all member's feelings" by MasterKiller

"The jits is the sh**its, how I got here" by BJJ Blue

[KC Elbows]

I used to draw postures of forms

and then fold the drawing into a book like size.

if you unfold it correctly, you may follow all the moves from the begining to the end.

now that with scanning and pdf file and computer stuff

everything is in the computer nowadays.

---

if you have a kindle, ipad--, you may read a book paperless--

101 Ways To Reassure Gene That Print Media Isn't Dead by SPJ.

[David Jamieson]

all i know is that in a pinch, a kindle is not a good substitute for toilet paper.

so, to that effect, the print media industry will not die so long as there are cabins, tents and outhouses.

[brothernumber9]

"How To Always Stay On Topic' - SPJ with Introduction by Jack Handy
"No I'm Not a Douglas Wong Student" - Gene Ching
"The Lost History of the ORA Battle Thread" - Sevenstar and Design Sifu
"So Last Year (search function for dummies)" - Doug Maverick
"Did He Just Call Me Seafood?" - A collaboration of TCMA teachers.

[MasterKiller]

My Tombstone by MasterKiller
http://imgur.com/izRkz.jpg

[Lucas]

wow thats the best ever. i still want to have my carbon compressed into a diamond, mounted in a various jewel uncrusted dagger and lodged into the top of my tribal gold enlaid skull.

[Syn7]

wow thats the best ever. i still want to have my carbon compressed into a diamond, mounted in a various jewel uncrusted dagger and lodged into the top of my tribal gold enlaid skull.

thats priceless...

[David Jamieson]

wow thats the best ever. i still want to have my carbon compressed into a diamond, mounted in a various jewel uncrusted dagger and lodged into the top of my tribal gold enlaid skull.

yeah being compressed into a jewel would be cool.

[Lucas]

we'll see if the world lets me pull that one off. ;)

[GeneChing]

We'll be lucky if we can find anything left of your body, Lucas.

Compress My Dead Jewels into Jewels by Lucas

[jdhowland]

i still want to have my carbon compressed into a diamond, mounted in a various jewel uncrusted dagger and lodged into the top of my tribal gold enlaid skull.

I'll see that it gets done, Old Friend.








Um...would you like to have the dagger implanted before, or after, your demise?

[Syn7]

if its before, can i do it???

[Lucas]

I vote for before. Because if that happens then I'll die, so then we can compress my jewels into jewels, it might hurt a bit if im still alive.

makes perfect logical sense to me. we can have a raffle to make it fare :D

[Syn7]

I vote for before. Because if that happens then I'll die, so then we can compress my jewels into jewels, it might hurt a bit if im still alive.

makes perfect logical sense to me. we can have a raffle to make it fare :D

fair... sorry, im not a spelling nazi, i always mispell words, but fare just irked me a bit:p


dont you mean after??? if we stick a knife in your head before your demise, it could very well hurt a lil bit... and if you survived, it would seriously hamper your social life sticking out like that... you could get a job as a fancy coat rack with lots of opinions... you can even rifle peoples pockets:D

also, with a knife sticking out of your face, getting your nuttz chopped off may not seem as bad when your working with this context... you can live a few more years and enjoy your jewels new home, a few inches from your chin:eek:




:rolleyes::cool:;):p:D

[Syn7]

hhmmm, i s'pose i could've worded all that a bit better...

but a good third of yall are smart enough to get what im sayin:D


thats enough for me:)

[Dragonzbane76]

build me a Mausoleum ... I have some ideas...

little to much??

http://media.weirdworm.com/img/misc/the-x-most-awesome-tombs/mausoleum.jpg

[Syn7]

build me a Mausoleum ... I have some ideas...

little to much??

http://media.weirdworm.com/img/misc/the-x-most-awesome-tombs/mausoleum.jpg

its amazing that they found all that like that all nice in rows still... think how long it would take for them to get covered up... and nobody disturbed anything that whole time... crazy... the detail on these works are amazing... i like the horses... crazy sh!t...

[Hardwork108]

My Tombstone by MasterKiller
http://imgur.com/izRkz.jpg

I want my tombstone next to yours, on the right hand side...:D

[taai gihk yahn]

its amazing that they found all that like that all nice in rows still... think how long it would take for them to get covered up... and nobody disturbed anything that whole time... crazy... the detail on these works are amazing... i like the horses... crazy sh!t...

the most amazing thing was that by coincidence they all happened to be buried inside of a climate controlled air-plane hanger!

[Hardwork108]

the most amazing thing was that by coincidence they all happened to be buried inside of a climate controlled air-plane hanger!

I keep telling you that Eastern ancient science has always been ahead of the Western one, but you never believe me!!!:D

[Syn7]

I keep telling you that Eastern ancient science has always been ahead of the Western one, but you never believe me!!!:D

well they clearly had superior materials... it all looks so new!!!