Freeform lineage war thread

[KC Elbows]

In case there's anyone here who is unfortunate enough not to be engaged in any sort of lineage wars, here's a place to start your own lineage war. Don't worry, factual info is not necessary, but there are key elementsL

1) You must refer at some point to some mythical teachers, but they will not be refered to by any name, but instead by initials: for the sake of this thread, any made up initials will do. Example: "Your TRN lineage is totally false, I have documents showing that not only was TRN not an inner door disciple, but he was actually junior to RYP, only trained beside YED for a very short time, and ended up suffering from MS and losing his janitorial position at HAZMAT."

2) You must constantly use the word combination "real [name your style here]". Orthodox is a suitable replacement. For instance, if you are arguing with Bawang, you are either arguing over who has the real wombat combat, or the orthodox wombat combat.

3) If you are losing the game of who has the real or orthodox style, you must then posit that you have the secret style, the secret inner door style, or the secret society hidden style kept alive since [insert random dynasty].

4) When in doubt, change the spelling. Example: "In Boston's branch of Woooombut Combat..."

For additional rules and guides on rules of conduct, go here:

http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9
http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=8

Let the games begin, you fake teachers of shaolin ninjutsu, a style which I learned directly from the lineage holder in Topeka in '97, of which I have scrolls. JLA was an amazing man who would be shocked to see the degree of fake shaolin ninjutsu around this forum, so I have taken it upon myself to educate you all on the real shaolin ninjutsu, which is made up of eight parts:

1) Taiji
2) Chin na
3) Qin na and Q'ien N'a(Gripping and seizing and Vulcan/Shi'ar gripping and seizing)
4) Throwing
5) Shuai Jiao
6) Pon Farr
7) Weapons
8) Everything else

[jdhowland]

... the real shaolin ninjutsu, which is made up of eight parts:

1) Taiji
2) Chin na
3) Qin na
4) Throwing
5) Shuai Jiao
6) Shui jiao
7) Weapons
8) Everything else

Your list is patently false! You pad it by duplicating entries: "shuai jiao" and "throwing." Could you really not know that #4 in the list was originally "throwing fits"??

The original document of the Eight Supreme Arts still exists. It is in a safe deposit box in Zurich. I am the only mortal who has laid eyes upon it in the last 150 years! A paleohistorian has assured me that it carbon dates to the 3rd millennium BCE +/- 14 years. It was presented to our founder, wfd, at the University of Nyorlando by the Buddha, himself.

So there.

[David Jamieson]

I see you have neglect to add "the shizzlefist™" to your crappy little list.

I'm appalled and a little offended.

[KC Elbows]

Your list is patently false! You pad it by duplicating entries: "shuai jiao" and "throwing." Could you really not know that #4 in the list was originally "throwing fits"??

The original document of the Eight Supreme Arts still exists. It is in a safe deposit box in Zurich. I am the only mortal who has laid eyes upon it in the last 150 years! A paleohistorian has assured me that it carbon dates to the 3rd millennium BCE +/- 14 years. It was presented to our founder, wfd, at the University of Nyorlando by the Buddha, himself.

So there.

"Throwing fits" was merely the open door version, the secret training done within the moonflower society in ancient Qing Dynasty(around 1 million BC) taught the few secret true practitioners of the orthodox shaolin ninjutsu how to translate each of the 108 "fits" into alternatively a throw or a cool spinning nunchuk move.

So, your revisionist 3rd milleneum BC +/- 14 years of the true Qing Dynasty(around 1 million BC) shaolin ninjutsu is revealed for the FRAUD it truly is!

Your lineage is the fail! WFD was an overweight con man who didn't even train under JLA, or his alternate earth version, JSA! He does karate, why else would he teach shaolin ninjutsu in a dojo, after all, everyone knows the shaolin ninja train in guan! You can't even get your terminology in the right language, and your naginata taolu is also fake!

[KC Elbows]

I see you have neglect to add "the shizzlefist™" to your crappy little list.

I'm appalled and a little offended.

The shizzlefist is part of "everything else," along with the shizzlekick.

[Chief_Suicide]

Bruce Lee invented Nunchucks! I saw it in a movie. I don't know what you're talking about.

[KC Elbows]

Bruce Lee invented Nunchucks! I saw it in a movie. I don't know what you're talking about.

Here's the real orthodox numchuk. Not that I expect you will understand its power.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v34cZccZ9g

[bawang]

LIE

everyone in china knows the shaolin ninjitsu has gone extinct for over 200 years and the only system that is the true successor is Wombat Combat as taught by grandmaster KFC in san fran chinatown. passed thru the Small Purple Eggplant Monk aka Ji Chai Mo Seung. shaolin ninjitsu is perfectl preserved in the WC system as form #74 Heian Shodan

This can be verified by the Woon Bao Bao Prang Mang piuuuuuuuuuu Ma family records. and the fist poem goes
狗屎冲天,猫尿浮海. "Preserve the Ancient Shaolin, WOMBAT FOREVER VICTORIOUS"
hidden in the poem is the secret message "overthrow obama restore bush" showing WCs revolutionary roots

[bawang]

I would also like to add that while some claim that Wombat Combat is useless as a martial art because it was practiced by Guangdong opera troupe, famous for being a front for male prostition, thats a absolute FABRICATION. putting powder on your face and singing in falsetto and eyeing the audience and playing the role of a woman, then after the show taking it up the ass after a futsan farmer pays u 5 coppers is MANLY AND PATRIOTIC.
also despite rumors and police records of WC being involved in drug smuggling and human trafficking for 200 years and all its terms coming from gangster slangs, WC is a patriotic revolutionary society.

[KC Elbows]

KFC is fake! Why do you think his gwans are all over China, if it isn't PRC decorative performance brocade leg flower fist shaolin ninjutsu?

As for your saying, such false doctrines are for cats and dogs, not real men, nor real shaolin ninjas, like above video of a master of true shaolin ninjutsu ditang numchuk.

[KC Elbows]

I would also like to add that while some claim that Wombat Combat is useless as a martial art because it was practiced by Guangdong opera troupe, famous for being a front for male prostition, thats a absolute FABRICATION. putting powder on your face and singing in falsetto and eyeing the audience and playing the role of a woman, then after the show taking it up the ass after a futsan farmer pays u 5 coppers is MANLY AND PATRIOTIC.
also despite rumors and police records of WC being involved in drug smuggling and human trafficking for 200 years and all its terms coming from gangster slangs, WC is a patriotic revolutionary society.

Who shared the secret scrolls with you?

It does not matter, it is clear that you come from a long distance scroll learning lineage.

[bawang]

you are not my paying student, neither are you part of my pie, why should i share that sensitive information with strangers on the internet?

[KC Elbows]

Your pie? Your pie is a false one, everyone important knows that all the orthodox followers of shaolin ninjutsu came from the secret society of homeless beggars living in and around guizhou, the infamous bumflower pie.

[bawang]

that is ABSOLUTELY FALSE
LOL OMG LOL. LOL, LOL, LOL. EPIC FAIL

even the mantally challenged knows that the guizhou beggars are nothing but LIARS and CHARLATANS. if they were really learning from the purple eggplant monk, where are the secret snake fang salutes? where are the signature postures? where is the "lazily bendover and open the gates of heaven" opening move? your pie has NOTHING to do with my pie.


on another note, i would like to state that even though wombat combat participated in the taiping rebellion where women in entire cities were brutally raped even 80 year old women werent spared, and blood flowed like rivers, it was patriotic and we did it to help the chinese people.

[Lucas]

I like cake.

[KC Elbows]

Your pie does the lazily bend over, but their opening the gates of heaven is nothing compared to the opening the gates of heaven in the bumflower pie!

[sanjuro_ronin]

The only pie that matters !
http://www.uncoached.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/movie_cheerleaders_1.jpg

[sanjuro_ronin]

Pie, pie and more pie !
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/SlightRetard/Whippedcream.png

[Lucas]

I still say cake is better.

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k299/Veronik_03/deko/sexy_cake.jpg

[bawang]

mang. ur 40 years old and almsot time to go limp biscuit. u have wife and kids. why u keep posting noodies on internet?

[Lucas]

supply and demand is powerful

[sanjuro_ronin]

http://www.wmmr.com/Pics/PhotoAlbums/233/4/IMG_1363__900W.Jpeg
http://www.wmmr.com/Pics/PhotoAlbums/233/6/wc5__240X240.Jpeg

[bawang]

i rubbed jow on my penus and now it feels like a walnut and im impotent. what do i do?
HLEP

[sanjuro_ronin]

mang. ur 40 years old and almsot time to go limp biscuit. u have wife and kids. why u keep posting noodies on internet?

Noodies?
What are you, 8?
:D

[KC Elbows]

I have seen SR's pictures from the real pie Pai, and while the pie might be real, sometimes a couple other things are not!

I am, of course, speaking of airbrushing the eyes. To make them look blue.

You can see it sometimes if you look closely.

[Lucas]

I may not make it out of today alive....BUT, here is the truth about the real pie.

http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc167/Kittysquared/pie_kitty.gif