Some things I've learned from the kung fu forums...

[Eric Olson]

Inspired by Dave Ross' top ten...

1) If you no longer fight and are old means you never knew how to fight and are a huckster

2) If you were in a fight and it wasn't video taped...it never happened.

3) MMA events are the supreme arbiter of who has fighting skills and who doesn't

4) Only full contact sparring counts as "training"

5) As long as you call what you do MMA it means you have fighting skills. If you call it kung fu, karate, etc. you are a traditional chi wanker who thinks he can blast people with energy from his palms. In essence there are only two categories: chi wankers and MMA athletes.

6) You can only claim to practice martial arts if you devote your entire life to it to the exclusion of everything else. Elite athletes rather than the average person looking to improve their health, safety and fitness are the true yardstick of a martial arts effectiveness.

Feel free to add anything that you've learned...

EO

[MightyB]

Too funny -

Good post Eric.

[David Jamieson]

7) forums are filled with shyte talkers

[YouKnowWho]

8) You will always find someone who disagrees with you no matter what you have said. When you said, "CMA is bad" and all MMA guys will jump on you, disagree, and argue against you, you will get what you want. Very sad but that may be the only way.

[EarthDragon]

8. if you did MMA before the TV televised the first UFC in 1993, you were doing it all
wrong
9. the MMA board has less MMA people than the kung fu boards
10. you post why you hate TCMA and LOVE MMA on an average of 55 times, all day
and all night but still train MMA 4 hours a day everyday:cool:
11. you discredit other abilites and acomplishments cuz you feel ripped off from your
old TMCA teacher
12. you call people frauds cuz you dont like thier semiars but make up excuses when
they invite you to get youre arse kicked.:D

[Dale Dugas]

Brother,

I like your last entry on the above post.

[Eric Olson]

EarthDragon...the format is "this is what I've learned."

EO

[Iron_Eagle_76]

13) If you don't have 50 You Tube clips your not a real martial artist.

14) If you wear silk PJs you are a LARPer, but if you replace that with kickboxing shorts and a tank top you are an instant bad a**ss:)

15) You should always be walking around with a broken nose, busted lip, two black eyes, swollen testicles, and a few cracked ribs. Otherwise, you don't do "fo realz" training.

16) Boxing gloves were not used in TMA schools until five years ago.

17) If you say water is wet and you need oxygen to sustain life, David Jameison will still try to argue with you.

[David Jamieson]

18) I will keep you thinking until you aren't angry

19) Ironeagle76 is only 13 inches tall


:D

[Iron_Eagle_76]

18) I will keep you thinking until you aren't angry

19) Ironeagle76 is only 13 inches tall


:D

There are things on me that are 13 inches, but I'm not one to brag.:D

[YouKnowWho]

20) Try to use CMA terms such as 崩(Beng), 抹眉(mǒ méi), 勾手(Gou Shou), ... Since MMA guys don't know what you are talking about, they can't argue against you. Problem solved.

[David Jamieson]

There are things on me that are 13 inches, but I'm not one to brag.:D

yeah hemmerhoids are nothing to brag about and don't deny it, we all know you ride a sled and therefore have a pile of spaghetti where your ass hole should be. :D

[Lokhopkuen]

21.) MMA Gots B!tches!!!!:eek::D:cool:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3334/3208154576_1461403f75.jpg

[Lokhopkuen]

20) Try to use CMA terms such as 崩(Beng), 抹眉(mǒ méi), 勾手(Gou Shou), ... Since MMA guys don't know what you are talking about, they can't argue against you. Problem solved.

Awesome!

What does 崩(Beng), 抹眉(mǒ méi), 勾手(Gou Shou) mean:confused:

[Lokhopkuen]

yeah hemmerhoids are nothing to brag about and don't deny it, we all know you ride a sled and therefore have a pile of spaghetti where your ass hole should be. :D

Oh I'm going to be giggle through my entire useless morning Tai Chi Class:D

[David Jamieson]

mmmm useless morning tai chi.

I like useless morning chi kung myself.

Mostly because it's good for my structure and it really makes Mysterious Power angry that I am up here in Canada practicing an esoteric health art and I'm actually enjoying it and giving the art credit for the benefits derived.


mmmmm. lol

[SPJ]

Awesome!

What does 崩(Beng), 抹眉(mǒ méi), 勾手(Gou Shou) mean:confused:

depending on styles

but generally

1. beng means forward and upward.

2. wiping or removing eyebrows, pushing the face downward and forward

3 Hook hand, can be circularly upward and downward. can be clockwise or counterclockwise, the bent wrist may be used to hit chin. gou shou ti
hook hands may be used to control wrist and elbow temporarily----

[SPJ]

tai chi is all about circles and centering.

:)

[David Jamieson]

tai chi is all about circles and centering.

:)

and anus clenching. don't forget the anus clenching.

[SPJ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlEAcOWskPE

we have skiiny ring girls, too.

:D

[mickey]

Greeetings,

I learned that....

21) You can only get creed if you post pics of near naked ladies.

22) East Coast practitioners are the only ones who can post with both humour and sanity.

23) MMA is a poor excuse to get real close and sweaty with another man.

24) MMA is a poor excuse to get real close and sweaty with another man.

25) MMA IS A POOR EXCUSE TO GET REAL CLOSE AND SWEATY WITH ANOTHER MAN.



MICKEY

[hskwarrior]

22) East Coast practitioners are the only ones who can post with both humour and sanity.

West coast is the best coast!!!! (just messing withcha!!!!)

http://s3.amazonaws.com/hottopic_shockhound_production/images/327205/westside.jpg

[mickey]

hskwarrior,

That photo rocks!! HAHAHAHA


mickey

[YouKnowWho]

Awesome!

What does 崩(Beng), 抹眉(mǒ méi), 勾手(Gou Shou) mean:confused:
This is 崩(Beng):

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/7436/cracking1.jpg

This is 抹眉(mǒ méi):

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/9629/changeyebrowmop1.jpg

[hskwarrior]

HAHAHA thanks brother :D

[SPJ]

yes. Beng can be used as a modifier

Beng step Beng bu

Beng elbow Beng Zhou

----

Cool and classical pix

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/7436/cracking1.jpg

:)

[YouKnowWho]

This is 勾手(Gou Shou) - very deadly CMA skill. ;)

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/1315/goushou.jpg

[Iron_Eagle_76]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlEAcOWskPE

we have skiiny ring girls, too.

:D

Thanks for posting SPJ. Nice clip and can defineatly see the San Da and Shuai Jiao influence in those fighters.:)

[YouKnowWho]

Thanks for posting SPJ. Nice clip and can defineatly see the San Da and Shuai Jiao influence in those fighters.:)

Helio Gracie can choke them all out (if I don't say it, somebody else will). :D

[solo1]

outstanding. my laugh for the day. Thanks for clearing this up. I especially liked the comment "if your arent dedicating every waking moment to KF your not a martial artist." in this day and age who has time to dedicate everything they have to one thing?

[bawang]

i do. i have the power. i am the chosen one.
*rubs testicles

[Iron_Eagle_76]

Helio Gracie can choke them all (if I don't say it, somebody else will). :D

Personnally I would rather be choked out by this Gracie.:cool:

http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii233/mikesilvia/kyra-gracie01.jpg

[David Jamieson]

Personnally I would rather be choked out by this Gracie.:cool:

http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii233/mikesilvia/kyra-gracie01.jpg

really, wouldn't you rather she choked on something herself? :p

[SPJ]

yes. she has a school in NYC, I think

but she only teaches girls. I think.

:)

[SPJ]

26 if the discussion or debate gets too heated, a half naked picture would cool everyone off. and the thread is derailed into the abbys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yszxlr4gH5g&feature=related

:)

[mickey]

SPJ,

That was TOPS!!! HAHAHAHA

mickey

[TenTigers]

26a-if the discussion or debate gets too heated, TT will post something completely off-topic and silly, and the thread is derailed into the abyss.
followed by some vague reference to Tolkien or Klingon lore by TGY....

[wenshu]

27. Theres no such thing as a KFMF Not Safe For Work tag.


28. This moldy corner of the internet makes 4chan/b/ look reasonable and erudite.

[Iron_Eagle_76]

29. The chinese have infiltrated a spy on here to study our foolishness, he goes by Bawang.:D

[mickey]

30. I learned that bawang's English improves when the subject is women.

31. TenTigers is right 12 times out of 10.

32. Mentioning the words "peach fuzz" puts people on the defensive.



mickey

[Iron_Eagle_76]

33. The super, uber, deadly KFMers are also either ninjas or spys, because they refuse to post their picture or location.

34. If your bored and no one is posting on threads, start an MMA vs. TMA thread and the entire site will engulf it

35. Gene Ching apparently likes nachos:D

36. At least once per day someone will come on and challenge LKFMDC.

[KC Elbows]

37 Mildly disagree with another member, and someone will assume you are part of their jihad on that member.

38 No on in a flame war actually reads what their opposite says, they only read something like it that resemblkes something they've read before.

39 BJJ Blue has a chart on his wall to keep tabs on who didn't answer which question when, just to the left of his "Gorgeous Men of BJJ" poster.

[MightyB]

40. Nobody on KFM forums works too hard during the day.

[taai gihk yahn]

26a-if the discussion or debate gets too heated, TT will post something completely off-topic and silly, and the thread is derailed into the abyss.
followed by some vague reference to Tolkien or Klingon lore by TGY....

Ti tállbe Orch.

[Lokhopkuen]

41.) Posting or reading here is an absolute waste of time but loads of fun:D
http://image.dhgate.com/upload/20104/81/ff8080812745cf40012748c5f35b117c/productimg1272618948685.jpg

[taai gihk yahn]

41.) Posting or reading here is an absolute waste of time but loads of fun:D
and therefore NOT a waste of time, as such...:D

[Lokhopkuen]

I stand corrected:D

[YouKnowWho]

42) Responding to someone who will never agree with you no matter what you have said will be absolute waste of time and no fun at all.

43) Trying to help those who doesn't need your help will be absolute waste of time and no fun at all.

[Lucas]

44) I am way more intelligent than I ever gave my self credit for.

45) I really dont give a ****.

[Yum Cha]

44) I am way more intelligent than I ever gave my self credit for.

44.5 Most people are way less intelligent than you give them credit for.

[mooyingmantis]

46. I am too sexy for my silk PJs, and they snap really nice when i do forms!
47. My silk PJs look gauche with hitting focus mitts.
48. My silk PJs fall down when I spar, but I still look less gay than MMA peeps in silk shorts. :D

[Lucas]

44.5 Most people are way less intelligent than you give them credit for.

rofl

567890

[Lokhopkuen]

42) Responding to someone who will never agree with you no matter what you have said will be absolute waste of time and no fun at all.

43) Trying to help those who doesn't need your help will be absolute waste of time and no fun at all.

My sig line used to read:
Never teach a pig to whistle,
it wastes your time and annoys the pig:D

[Lokhopkuen]

46. I am too sexy for my silk PJs, and they snap really nice when i do forms!
47. My silk PJs look gauche with hitting focus mitts.
48. My silk PJs fall down when I spar, but I still look less gay than MMA peeps in silk shorts. :D

49.) If you challenge David Ross aka the "badboy of kung fu magazine forum" on any issue then "you are having a melt down."
http://blog.craftzine.com/meerkat.jpg