Tiger Mothers and FOB Moms

[GeneChing]

If you're a parent, you probably caught this NYT article. It's created quite a stir.

But Will It All Make ‘Tiger Mom’ Happy? (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/20/books/20book.html)
By JANET MASLIN
Published: January 19, 2011

“There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids’ true interests,” Amy Chua writes. She ought to know, because hers is the big one: “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” a diabolically well-packaged, highly readable screed ostensibly about the art of obsessive parenting. In truth, Ms. Chua’s memoir is about one little narcissist’s book-length search for happiness. And for all its quotable outbursts from Mama Grisly (the nickname was inevitable), it will gratify the same people who made a hit out of the granola-hearted “Eat, Pray, Love.”

You might wonder how this is possible. In “Eat, Pray, Love,” Elizabeth Gilbert presented herself as a seeker of solace, whereas Ms. Chua eagerly overacts the role of wicked witch. The litany of her outrages has made her an instant conversation piece. What kind of mother throws her 3-year-old out in the cold? (“You can’t stay in the house if you don’t listen to Mommy.”) Or complains that her family’s pet rabbits aren’t smart enough? (“They were unintelligent and not at all what they claimed to be.”) Or, most memorably, makes her two daughters’ music lessons so grueling that one girl leaves tooth marks on the piano?

Ms. Chua claims that this is the essence of tough Chinese parenting, as opposed to the lax Western kind. And already her book has a talking point: What does she mean by Chinese and Western? She is of Chinese descent, but she grew up in the American Midwest. (“How I wished I could have a bologna sandwich like everyone else!”) She became a law professor and now teaches at Yale. She and her husband, another Yale law professor, hired a Chinese nanny to speak Mandarin, though Ms. Chua doesn’t speak it herself. Ms. Chua grew up as a Roman Catholic, but her daughters were raised as Jews.

So she admits to using the term “Chinese mother” loosely — so loosely that even “a supersuccessful white guy from South Dakota (you’ve seen him on television)” told her his working-class father was a Chinese mom. (The book carries an “it will leave you breathless” blurb from South Dakota’s own Tom Brokaw.) And what she uses “Chinese mother” to mean is this: driven, snobbish and hellbent on raising certifiably Grade A children. Ms. Chua contrasts these attitudes with the sappy “Western” ones that can be found in Disney movies, where a mere romp in the ocean can be construed as a happy ending.

“That’s just Disney’s way of appealing to all the people who never win any prizes,” she says.

Ms. Chua was not about to raise prizeless slackers. She wanted prodigies, even if it meant nonstop, punishing labor. So “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” chronicles its author’s constant demanding, wheedling, scolding and screaming. It describes seemingly endless piano and violin sessions that Ms. Chua supervised. (Her own schedule of teaching, traveling, writing and dealing with her students goes mostly unmentioned — and would require her to put in a 50-hour workday.) And it enforces a single guiding principle that is more reasonable than all the yelling suggests: “What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it.”

If this were the entirety of “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” this book would not be destined for major best sellerdom. But Ms. Chua’s story has been shaped according to a familiar narrative arc, the one that ensures that her comeuppance will occur, that her children will prove wiser than she and that other not-all-that-far-from-Disney things will happen. When it’s time to fess up to shortcomings (“the truth is I’m not good at enjoying life”) and smell the roses at the end of the book, Ms. Chua deploys her sister’s illness to provide the necessary dose of carpe diem.

Wherever she is in this slickly well-shaped story, Ms. Chua never fails to make herself its center of attention. When her older daughter, Sophia, was a baby, “she basically slept, ate and watched me have writer’s block until she was a year old.” (The italics here are mine.) “Sophia,” she later explains, “you’re just like I was in my family.” When she pitches what’s already become her most notorious fit over the girls’ amateurishly made birthday cards, Ms. Chua declares, “I spend half my salary on stupid sticker and eraser party favors” for their birthdays, adding “I deserve better than this.” And when Jed fails to honor Ms. Chua’s birthday with reservations at a good enough restaurant, and the family ends up at a so-so one, he too is in hot water.

Jed? Yes, Jed. Ms. Chua’s husband plays a large role in this story, even if he is made to sound like her hapless foil. He is presented as a handsome, charming and amazingly patient man, especially since his mother and wife had some similar traits. (His mother, according to the book, was once “aghast” at the cheeses Ms. Chua chose for a party and demanded better ones.) Jed is the fixture without which Ms. Chua’s book would not be possible. And he is often wrong, wrong, wrong about child rearing, which means that the reader will think he is right.

Jed happens to be Jed Rubenfeld, a novelist as well as a lawyer. His first book, a richly textured historical thriller, “The Interpretation of Murder,” was published in 2006. When Ms. Chua runs up expenses for extra music lessons in “Tiger Mother,” Jed is quoted as saying, “I’d better start on a sequel now.”

That sequel, “The Death Instinct,” is about to come out. It lacks the sensationalism to rise as high on the charts as Ms. Chua’s book, but it’s a well-executed work of escapism and an emphatically good read. Set in the post-World War I era, it has a notably smart, well-educated heroine and features Sigmund Freud as a character. For reasons about which “Tiger Mother” readers can speculate, Mr. Rubenfeld sends Freud delving into the causes of shell shock.


Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781594202841,00.html)
Amy Chua

An awe-inspiring, often hilarious, and unerringly honest story of one mother's exercise in extreme parenting, revealing the rewards-and the costs-of raising her children the Chinese way.

All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. What Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reveals is that the Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions and providing a nurturing environment. The Chinese believe that the best way to protect your children is by preparing them for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua's iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way-the Chinese way-and the remarkable results her choice inspires.

Here are some things Amy Chua would never allow her daughters to do:

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin

The truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin.

Of course no one is perfect, including Chua herself. Witness this scene:

"According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing:

1. Oh my God, you're just getting worse and worse.

2. I'm going to count to three, then I want musicality.

3. If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to take all your stuffed animals and burn them!"

But Chua demands as much of herself as she does of her daughters. And in her sacrifices-the exacting attention spent studying her daughters' performances, the office hours lost shuttling the girls to lessons-the depth of her love for her children becomes clear. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is an eye-opening exploration of the differences in Eastern and Western parenting- and the lessons parents and children everywhere teach one another.

[GeneChing]

This started as a blog. Now it's a book. Two interesting takes on Asian moms published at the same time.

Believe it or not, My Mom is a Fob (http://mymomisafob.com/book/) is now available in print! Not only does the book showcase your favorite entries as well as never-before-published submissions, it also features essays by the authors, Teresa and Serena Wu, and a forward by comedian Margaret Cho! Grab your copy of the book today on Amazon, Borders, or Barnes & Noble!

Fob (noun)-derived from the acronym F.O.B. (“fresh off the boat”)

Does your mom still make Peking duck instead of turkey on Thanksgiving, own a giant cleaver, or take twenty-four more napkins than she needs at Chipotle?

Your mom may be a fob.

Through their hit blog “My Mom Is a Fob,” Teresa and Serena Wu have seized ownership of this formerly derogatory term, applying it instead to the heartfelt, hilarious, and thoroughly unique ways that Asian mothers adapt to American culture, from the perspective of those who love them most: their children.

Through texts, emails, phone calls, and more, My Mom Is a Fob showcases the stories of a community of Asian-American kids who know exactly what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that amazing, unconditional, and sometimes misspelled love. It’s about those Asian mothers who refuse to get in the car without their sun-protective arm sheaths, the ones who send us passive-aggressive text messages “from the dog” in hopes that we’ll call home, and email us unsolicited advice about everything from ****sexuality to constipation. In these pages you’ll find solace in the fact that thousands of moms out there are as painfully nosy, unintentionally hilarious, and endearingly fobby as yours is.

[David Jamieson]

I can't stop frowning at Chinese mom's in the neighbourhood now.

Thanks a lot Amy!

j/k :p

[Jimbo]

I find it interesting that people say "Asian mothers" when the subject is supposedly Chinese mothers. That's akin to saying "European mothers" when they mean (for example) German mothers.

It's true, a lot of people nowadays coddle their kids, but there are definite positives to developing individuality and freedom of thought. Becoming a better, repressed robot isn't all that superior, IMO.

[MasterKiller]

I'd let this tiger mom blow my battle hymn

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d8bF7KBsmHI/SwTWHSrNOfI/AAAAAAAADkY/kXcQqNjY-qY/s1600/Vikmanis.jpg

[GeneChing]

I hear what you're saying, Jimbo. Caught this on PBS News Hour recently.

REPORT AIR DATE: Jan. 21, 2011
In Hypercompetitive South Korea, Pressures Mount on Young Pupils (http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/education/jan-june11/koreaschools_01-21.html)
SUMMARY
Margaret Warner reports from Seoul, where extraordinary student commitment has helped the nation's 15 year olds rank second in the world in reading and fourth in math, well ahead of their American counterparts. Many students take private lessons in addition to required coursework, but the pressure can create serious stress.

Transcript

JEFFREY BROWN: Next: making the grade where the pressure is on.

MARGARET WARNER: Just outside Seoul, high school freshman Yoo Jae Won gets ready to study, his mom and dad, both doctors, already out the door, big sister away at school. So that means all the more time to spend with the lovely Ms. Lee (ph).

Jae Won's virtual teacher leaves this 16-year-old with virtually no time off, and that's the way he wants it.

YOO JAE WON, high school freshman: I think I need to study and work harder for my future.

MARGARET WARNER: That's a widespread belief in South Korea, where extraordinary passion for education is the norm.

Have we mentioned Jae Won is on his two-month winter holiday? No matter. He began his day by walking in the biting cold past a billboard touting perfect-scoring students to a 90-minute math tutoring session and study hall.

The tutoring was at a private cram school, or hagwon. From early morning until late at night, six days a week, nearly 60 percent of South Korean youngsters look for a leg up by adding hagwons on top of their public school load.

That kind of dedication -- some say obsession -- has catapulted South Koreans into the top tier of educational achievement. In world rankings of 15 year-olds released last November, South Korean students scored second in reading. American kids were 17th. And they scored fourth in math. Americans came in at 31st.

KATHLEEN STEPHENS, U.S. ambassador to South Korea: Koreans have something they call (SPEAKING KOREAN) which means education fever.

MARGARET WARNER: U.S. Ambassador Kathleen Stephens first came to South Korea in the '70s as a Peace Corps volunteer, teaching some 70 young boys in an unheated classroom.

KATHLEEN STEPHENS: The passion for education here is part of the Korean passion for excellence. And that is what has given this country such dynamism, such vibrancy, such success, even in the face of -- of very daunting circumstances.

KIM KYONG-DONG, Korea Development Institute: The very first phrase of Confucius Analects goes -- I quote -- "To learn and to practice and repeat it every time, every day, isn't this joy?"

MARGARET WARNER: Korean society is permeated by values reflecting the teachings of the ancient Chinese scholar. But joy of learning is not the sole motivation.

KIM KYONG-DONG: On the other hand, education is a channel for your social mobility. And if you want to become somebody in society, you want to go to a better college, better school, and study certain areas which will bring you higher status, and probably high income.

MARGARET WARNER: This hyper-competitive personal drive is what jet-propelled resource-poor South Korea into the top ranks of world economies, from a war-torn wasteland, one of the globe's poorest countries 50 years ago to the 12th richest today.

Shin Dongpyo runs the SDP Institute, a hagwon that specializes in teaching English, for a pretty price.

SHIN DONGPYO, SDP Institute: We have competitive parenting going on here.

MARGARET WARNER: Competitive parenting? Explain that.

SHIN DONGPYO: You see your neighbor's kid speak better English than your kid, and you try to figure out what kind of English program he is getting and what kind of kindergarten he is attending. You have figured it out, and you send your kid to same kindergarten -- that kind of competition going on.

MARGARET WARNER: Twenty-five-year-old Kim Tae-hoon, a student at SDP, says his hard-charging mother had him, even as a young child, attending specialized cram schools every day.

KIM TAE-HOON, student: For a 10-year-old boy, that was big deal, and that was a big pressure for me. Throughout middle school and high school, the burden grew heavier. In my high school days, I had to go to school in the morning, like 6:20, and school ended up around midnight. So, I was, yes, stressed out.

MARGARET WARNER: High school is especially pressure-packed. College admission is seen as a make-or-break moment. Scoring well on the national entrance exams means a ticket to a better life.

Is it ever enough?

KIM TAE-HOON: I just feel like it is just ongoing and never-ending, and I have to study more and more, and I have to learn new things. But I never felt it's enough.

(LAUGHTER)

MARGARET WARNER: Preparing for that all-important college test means rote memorizing, says advanced English student Kim Eun Ji (ph), who enjoyed the give-and-take of her years in a U.S. school.

STUDENT: In Korea, it's like teacher is just saying, just lecturing and, students are like writing and like trying to memorize it and just taking a test. That's -- that's all, I think, yes.

MARGARET WARNER: Ambassador Stephens says some Koreans question why President Obama holds up Korea's educational system as a model.

KATHLEEN STEPHENS: So, I have many Koreans who say to me, well, you know, Ambassador Stephens: If you know Korea so well, why aren't you explaining to President Obama that, really, our educational system is very problematical? Again, the education fever is too high here.

MARGARET WARNER: The cost of all that schooling can also be crushing. The average South Korean family spends more than 10 percent of its income on after-hours cram schools, more spending per capita on private tutoring than any other country.

Sadly, with more than 80 percent of high-schoolers going on to attend college, the demand for prestige jobs in big corporations outstrips the market, says Yonsei University economics Professor Lee Doowon.

LEE DOOWON, economics professor, Yonsei University: All of these 500,000 college graduates are looking for decent jobs. And the decent jobs are jobs in large companies. But those jobs are limited, 200,000, or definitely less than 250,000.

MARGARET WARNER: Some 8 percent of the under-30 set are unemployed, more than twice Korea's enviably low overall unemployment rate. That relentless pressure on students, graduates and their parents takes another toll.

LEE DOOWON: When young students are lagging behind in their classes, they get blamed by their parents, and they blame themselves. And, sometimes, they blame themselves so hard, that it's going to lead themselves to suicide.

MARGARET WARNER: A higher percentage of Koreans kill themselves than in any other country in the developed world. The nation's suicide rate of more than 20 per 100,000 is more than double the U.S. average.

Young Yoo Jae Won feels the pressure even if he scores below his classmates on one test.

YOO JAE WON: I think negative thinking: I'm not really competitive to others. I'm not a smart student, or I can't go to a good university.

MARGARET WARNER: Does that thought scare you?

YOO JAE WON: Sometimes. If I go to a bad university, I can be ignored by other people.

BAE EUN-HEE, national assemblywoman, Republic of Korea (through translator): We really need to redefine what is success. Like, money is not everything.

MARGARET WARNER: National Assemblywoman Bae Eun-hee, who sits on the Education Committee, says something has to be done. South Korea must promote more vocational and other alternatives for its young people, she says, and there needs to be a national conversation about what real achievement is.

BAE EUN-HEE (through translator): We need to rethink our views on success. It is now time for South Korean society to allow diversity about what is successful. Being happy is also success.

MARGARET WARNER: By that measure, these kids seem wildly successful. Singing and dancing at song rooms is a favorite pastime here, a way for many young people to blow off steam.

(SINGING)

Hundreds of thousands of those young Koreans who have come to this lookout over Seoul have left padlocks inscribed with their personal hopes and dreams for a future filled with happiness, if they can just take the time to enjoy it.

[David Jamieson]

Odd...not sure we do that up here.

I guess the Chinese are so prominent a part of our population that we call them "Chinese".

Average Canadians keep their Asians separated and properly categorized.

Except for people from Sri Lanka, India and Pakistan who are all blanketed with "South Asians" or "Desi".

[GeneChing]

...not the Great Canadian melting pot. :p

I'm now curious. Who here was raised by a Tiger Mom or a FOB? I wasn't. My parents were fairly indulgent as I did pretty well academically. They let me pursue martial arts instead of violin and piano. Look where that got me. :rolleyes:

[David Jamieson]

...not the Great Canadian melting pot. :p

I'm now curious. Who here was raised by a Tiger Mom or a FOB? I wasn't. My parents were fairly indulgent as I did pretty well academically. They let me pursue martial arts instead of violin and piano. Look where that got me. :rolleyes:

My parents were hippies who tried nothing and then ran out of ideas. :p

[GeneChing]

He got a standing ovation with the South Korean notion of referring to teachers as 'nation builders'. Quite right, that. Quite right.

The reason I lumped Tiger Mothers and FOB Moms together on this thread is this growing awareness about Asian parenting methods, which I feel is tempered by rampant Confucianism. The South Korean educational model fits right in there too.


Laurence Hughes
Writer, Book Flack
Posted: January 25, 2011 11:09 AM
The Battle Hymn of the Tigger Mother (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laurence-hughes/the-battle-hymn-of-the-ti_b_812876.html?ref=fb&src=sp)

One morning Pooh was awakened by a bouncing sound outside his house. He heard a stern voice shouting "Bounce! Bounce!" over and over the way a drill instructor might shout it. Pooh had never heard a drill instructor before so that is what it sounded like to him.

He decided he ought to go outside to investigate. On the way to the door he stopped at his larder and lifted down a pot of honey to take with him. If his investigation took a very long while, he could at least be sure that he wouldn't miss his breakfast.

Outside he found Tigger bouncing furiously and the Tigger Mother shouting at Tigger to bounce more and more, and telling him "That's not good enough!" and calling him "lazy" and "pathetic" and "garbage" and other names.

"Hallo, Tigger," said Pooh. But Tigger was too exhausted and too afraid to stop bouncing to return Pooh's greeting. "Hallo, Tigger Mother," said Pooh.

"Tigger has no time to waste with friends," said the Tigger Mother. "He's practicing his bouncing."

"Bouncing is what Tigger's do best," gasped Tigger.

"You are not the best!" said the Tigger Mother. "You will keep bouncing until you are the best. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is required for excellence."

"It looks like fine bouncing to me," said Pooh.

"Let me see you bounce," the Tigger Mother said. "If you bounce better than Tigger, I'll make him practice three extra hours."

"I don't have time for bouncing," said Pooh. "I have to pack because I'm going to visit my friend Rabbit for a few days."

"You are not allowed to have sleepovers!" said the Tigger Mother.

Pooh could not recall such a rule or who might have made it, but it seemed to him that since Rabbit's house is below ground, it was really more of a sleepunder.

The Tigger Mother looked closely at the label on Pooh's honey pot. "How do you spell 'honey?'" she asked Pooh.

"H-U-N-N-Y," Pooh replied, reading it carefully from the pot.

"Wrong!" the Tigger Mother shouted. She bent down, got in Pooh's face and said, "You are a bear of very little brain!"

"Yes," said Pooh.

The Tigger Mother straightened. "I said that to motivate you."

"But it's true," said Pooh. "Everyone says so."

"Start bouncing!" the Tigger Mother ordered.

"Oh dear," said Pooh. "How long must I bounce?"

"Until you learn to spell perfectly," said the Tigger Mother. "Until you are the best speller in the Hundred Acre Wood. Until you stop being a disgrace."

"Bother," said Pooh.

"Bounce, you worthless loser," said the Tigger Mother, "or I'll tie a bag of hungry woozles to your face."

So Pooh bounced, and not having much experience bouncing, he banged his head on a tree branch and disturbed a hive of angry bees and landed heavily in a gorse-bush and experienced many other whimsical yet painful complications which we will not enumerate here. But the Tigger Mother was insensitive to his discomfort and ordered him to keep bouncing.

Now Piglet happened along and was surprised to find Pooh and Tigger bouncing furiously to the point of exhaustion, and was even more surprised when the Tigger Mother ordered him to start bouncing too.

"I'm not here for bouncing," said Piglet. "I'm here to see if Pooh wants to play Pooh Sticks."

"No playdates!" shouted the Tigger Mother. "No games! And no complaining about no games! Now bounce!"

"I don't think I can bounce," said Piglet, "for I am a Very Small Animal. I'd rather play Pooh Sticks."

"You may not choose your own extracurricular activities!" screamed the Tigger Mother. "Now bounce, or I'll burn your stuffed animals."

"G-g-gracious!" cried Piglet. "I am a stuffed animal!"

"You are lazy and stupid," the Tigger Mother said. "I will show you the proper way to bounce to get you started. Things are hardest at the beginning," And picking him up in her paws, she slammed that pigskin to the ground like Ahmad Bradshaw in the end zone. Poor Piglet didn't bounce at all, but just lay splayed where she spiked him.

"Nothing is fun until you're good at it," the Tigger Mother explained to the motionless Piglet. "You must practice endlessly. Once you start to excel at something, you will win praise, admiration and satisfaction. Then it will become fun." But Piglet just let out a little moan and his eyes turned into tiny Xs.

The Tigger mother knew that the proper response to Piglet's substandard performance was to excoriate, punish and shame him, which she intended to do if he ever regained consciousness.

Time passed and the other residents of the Hundred Acre Wood came by. Owl and Rabbit brought a homemade birthday card they had made for the Tigger Mother, but the greeting read: hipy papy bthuthdth thuthda bthuthdy, so she said it wasn't good enough and ripped it up and threw it in their faces and called them worthless and made them start bouncing.

When Eeyore arrived, the Tigger Mother said, "Hey fatty, you're as big as a heffalump -- lose some weight," and made him start bouncing too.

Christopher Robin marched by beating his drum, but the Tigger Mother berated him because he wasn't playing a piano or violin, the only instruments anyone in her orbit was allowed to play. "I can't march with a piano or violin," Christopher Robin said. The Tigger Mother told him he was a pathetic weakling who wasn't trying hard enough, and if he just practiced practiced practiced he could march with a piano and that he'd better become the best piano marcher in the Hundred Acre Wood or else she'd give his drum to the Salvation Army. And she made him start bouncing.

Finally Kanga came along to see why everyone was bouncing outside of Pooh's house, for she lived not far from Pooh in the Western part of the Hundred Acre Wood.

"You Western parents coddle your children," the Tigger Mother said when she saw Roo riding in Kanga's pocket. "You worry about their self-esteem. You praise them for mediocre performance, afraid of hurting their feelings and bruising their egos. That is why your Roo will never excel at bouncing like my Tigger."

"Well, I don't know about bouncing," said Kanga, "but my Roo is excellent at hopping."

"Hopping?" snorted the Tigger Mother.

"We'll show you, dear" Kanga said. Roo climbed out of Kanga's pocket and, using their powerful hind legs, they both began to hop.

Now when it comes to hopping and bouncing, it is very difficult to tell the difference between the two. When the Tigger Mother saw Kanga and Roo hopping higher and faster than Tigger could bounce, she had a meltdown and tore her fur and screamed and wailed and threw herself prostrate on the ground, weeping and carrying on because she and her progeny had fallen short of perfection and she was unable to process the experience.

Everyone took this as a cue to stop bouncing and fell to the ground gasping with exhaustion. Kanga put her arm around the Tigger Mother and dried her tears and said "There, there, dear" in an effort to boost her self-esteem and sooth her hurt feelings and bruised ego. Then she invited everyone back to her house, where she gave the Tigger Mother a much-needed dose of Roo's strengthening medicine.

I haven't read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, but the author claims it's more of a memoir, not advice on parenting, and that it's being misinterpreted.

[BJJ-Blue]

I kinda compare these mothers to the rockhead parents who force their kids into sports and micromanage their lives in terms of athletics because thats the future they want for their kids, just in a different way (athletics vs sports).

Education is important, but college is not for everyone. And no, I'm not like Judge Smales 'Well the world needs ditch diggers too' attitude. What if the kid wants to own a martial arts gym? Or be a mechanic? I say guide your children, but let them live life as they want as well (within reason). Don't let them drop out of high school, but let them have input. Even high schools offer some technical classes for those who know they are not headed to college.

[Jimbo]

...not the Great Canadian melting pot. :p

I'm now curious. Who here was raised by a Tiger Mom or a FOB? I wasn't. My parents were fairly indulgent as I did pretty well academically. They let me pursue martial arts instead of violin and piano. Look where that got me. :rolleyes:

My parents were second-generation Japanese-Americans, and my dad came from a blue-collar background (farming, then tuna fisherman). My older siblings and I all turned out fine, but we were allowed to follow our own paths, and whatever successes and failures resulted from that. As a result, we all turned out completely different, but have done pretty well.

I've had a few Chinese friends who acted uptight a lot of the time, and who had lots of pressure placed on them by their parents when they were young. They excelled scholastically, often lauded for it and all the stuff that goes with it, but I get the impression they haven't necessarily turned out as happier or better-adjusted people for it. In fact, quite the opposite in many cases.

I think a lot of the super-high pressures that Tiger moms/parents put on their kids is so their kids will give them big 'face'. And for that mindset, there are only a narrow list of acceptable professions (such as engineer, doctor, etc.). Or for the few who excel at it, Western classical musician is the only artistic endeavor deemed worthwhile. I could be wrong, but it seems more about/for the parents themselves than for their kids.

[David Jamieson]

Here's one:

Zheng Jie is Chinese Tennis Champion. She is the first Chinese National that may take the grand slam in world Tennis.

Her mother has stated openly she doesn't even watch her play.

LOL and that's where the tiger mom bites her own ass. :p

[GeneChing]

'Joy Luck Club' Producers See Movie Promise in Tiger Mom Controversy (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/joy-luck-club-producers-see-76412)
7:26 PM 1/26/2011 by Bryan Alexander
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/sites/default/files/2011/01/amy_chua.jpg

Amy Chua's memoir on parenting has captured the nation's attention, but can 'Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother' recreate the movie success of the 1989 film?

Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother has sparked a furious debate about motherhood on the Internet -- much of it based around her accompanying Wall Street Journal essay, "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior." It has also captured the attention of Hollywood.

The most recent big screen adaptation of a book touching on themes of mother-daughter relationships among Chinese-Americans is 1989's The Joy Luck Club ($33 million domestic gross). Two of the film's producers interviewed by The Hollywood Reporter have expressed a strong interest in seeing Chua's book brought to the screen.

The national debate her memoir has sparked is one obvious reason for the entertainment industry interest. The extreme-parenting anecdotes about the author forcing her daughter to play the piano have prompted a record number of comments on the Wall Street Journal website (7,507 and counting).

Ron Bass co-wrote the Joy Luck Club screenplay with the book's author, Amy Tan, and co-produced the movie. Bass was so excited about Chua's book as a movie prospect that he almost lied about its worth to throw others off the scent.

"I was tempted to say, 'Nah, there's nothing here,' " he says. "And then I was going to have my agent find out if the rights were available. Not only is there a movie here, I definitely think it's more than one movie."

In his estimation, the least interesting angle is the simple retelling of the Chua story.

"If the question is whether Amy's story itself is a movie, of course it could be," he says. "Is that the best way to make the movie? I doubt it."

The more gripping perspective would be a fictionalized account based on prevalent parenting themes in the book. But as for more specifics, Bass is keeping mum.

"I'm not going to give you the take," he says. "There will be 300 other people going, 'ya, absolutely.' "

One aspect he promises: "It wouldn't be a comedy."

Fellow producer Patrick Markey believes Chua's work "absolutely has potential" for a movie.

"There's some radical stuff here," Markey says. "To think of treating children like this. Those kids are going to be in therapy their entire lives.

"It may not be a glowing portrayal of motherhood and raising kids," he adds. "But there's certainly a hell of a lot of controversy right now."

As for middle-America being interested in the movie, Markey says, "there is a universal sense of the family that we all get. We can all learn something from this. That's why I think there is a movie here."

If Chua's team has a deal, they are keeping it under wraps. A call to Chua's Los Angeles agent was met with a terse "no comment." And that was just the assistant. Chua's Penguin books press person had no comment as well.

One Los Angeles literary agent who specializes in bringing properties to the big screen was skeptical of any theatrical aspirations. "I just don't see it; it's not jumping off the page at me," the agent says. "If anything, there's a better chance for a television show."

While the national controversy is a plus for the screen possibilities, the agent adds that one prohibiting factor is the marketability of an Asian-American lead actress.
The last line is the kicker.

[TaichiMantis]

I still like the Joy Luck Club...;)

[GeneChing]

It should be noted that Chua and Rubenfeld are very successful people and are capitalizing on the buzz very well.

Tiger Mom's husband: I agree with 99% of her parenting (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=82099&tsp=1)

The media continues to churn out stories about Amy Chua, aka Tiger Mom. It has been four weeks since the Wall Street Journal ran an excerpt of Chua's widely discussed book Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mom, and ever since the world has been subjected to nonstop Tiger Mom news.

This morning, Chua's husband Jed Rubenfeld appeared on Good Morning America. The Yale law professor said, "The last few months have been tough on the family yet her book has sparked an international conversation and that's tremendous."

Rubenfeld also backed his wife's strict parenting style: "99% of the time absolutely I agreed with it, because as I was saying for me these were traditional American values, not Asian," he said. "So yes, I was on board with it."

As for the time Chua called one of their daughters "garbage," Rubenfeld called that "overblown."

"Is there any parent that you know who wouldn't want to have a do-over, one do-over for something that they said to their kids that they wish they hadn't? Rubenfeld said. "You know I give her credit for her honesty."

Rubenfeld is also an author and he spends the last half of the segment talking about his latest work, The Death Instinct. It seems Tiger Mom and Tiger Dad know how to use the media to sell books...

[Syn7]

i hope she can take the weight of whats comming thru the door she opened... i think its a needed convo... cultural standards of exellence need to be on par if we want any sort of equality... i bet she didnt see that commin tho... good for her anyways, i hope she gets thru it... all the cash will help... i mean, thats part of her goal right? get paid, make her kids prosper....

[David Jamieson]

*snip* i mean, thats part of her goal right? get paid, make her kids prosper....

If this were her goal, my opinion would be that she has failed.

The great success stories in the world do not often come from those people who have inherited their parents wealth and more often come from people who start with little or nothing but a will to strive for success.

In short, the second line of my signature below. :)

[Syn7]

yeah but if they were struggling financially and both parents were working 24/7 then she wouldnt have the time to spend being a mom, tiger or otherwise... thats what im saying... its my understanding that success for the tiger mom is more than monetary... she wants her kids to be "better" than what im sure she views as the competition.... in all aspects... piano violin math whatever... whatevr path she lays out for them she wants them to do it perfectly... im i misunderstanding the situation??? i dont have a tiger mom, but ive met a few...


In short, the second line of my signature below.

when i was your age i had to walk 40 miles in the snow, uphill both ways, naked, just to get to school... and that was only till grade four, after that we had to work the farm 23 hours a day with no food or water... you young kids just dont appreciate the value of what you have!!! :p



thats the curse of wealth, statistically your children have a 65% greater chance of become a complete fukctard...

[GeneChing]

Donna Marie Williams
Posted: January 26, 2011 03:48 PM
A Black Mother's Response to Amy Chua: We're Tiger Moms, Too (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-marie-williams/black-tiger-mother-responds_b_814457.html)

Amy Chua, author of the suddenly infamous Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, has been under fire lately. Press reviews and online comments have condemned her parenting skills as abusive and counterproductive, though the harshest criticisms have come from other mothers. Even Chinese mothers have distanced themselves from her, insisting that their views resonate more with the Western style of parenting.

My sisters and I actually agree with much -- though not all -- of Chua's approach. To varying degrees, we're tiger moms who were raised by a tiger mom -- who happened to be Jamaican. Chua believes that immigrants tend to be tough on their kids because they want to prepare them to take advantage of opportunities. That was surely the case in our family.

We were never abused, and we don't abuse our children, but our expectations are extremely high. Some judgmental mommies might say we're "over the top."

We depart company with Chua in that we allow our children their good friendships, sleepovers and other fun activities. My sisters don't know this yet, but eventually kids will rebel. As they get older, they'll break your heart ("After all that money I spent on lessons and you want to be a what? Oy!"). But providing balance will hopefully minimize the impact of World War III.

In our family, self-esteem is earned, not handed out like potato chips. Our girls have no choice: they must practice their music sometimes as long as 3 or 4 hours per day (longer if concerts and competitions are coming up). On top of their music studies, practices and performances, they must do their homework, study for tests, write papers and create science fair projects just like any other student.

If they do well, we praise. If they fail (which they do -- no one's perfect), they hear the truth from us, and we don't sugarcoat. That's not abusive. It's a gift. They may not like it, but they've learned how to use criticism to improve.

As a result, 2 of our daughters placed 1st and 2nd in a Korean music competition this year. This is routine for them. They're like the Venus and Serena of strings. My daughter, the cellist, recently placed 2nd in a pageant and was noted by her college president in his blog. The 3 cousins, also known as SugarStrings, were recently featured on an NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams segment for inspiring young children with their musical performances.

Bottom line: to perform like an Olympian, you must train like an Olympian. Why is it that parents of elite athletes are revered as martyrs while Chua is soundly denounced for basically raising her girls the same way? If you talked to parents of Olympic athletes you'd be shocked at their grueling schedules and tough parenting styles.

You'd also be shocked at the tremendous joy children experience when they master a skill. Not only that, they get to enjoy it early in life. They can do so much with the skill and the discipline it took to master it, and they have this relentless, rigorous parenting style to thank.

Chua's book got me thinking about not only parenting in my family, but the power of books to stimulate debate and change society.

When I last checked (1/26/11, 11:30 CST), Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother was #4 on Amazon because of the raging controversy. Chua's book has created a new national dialogue about parenting and the global competitiveness of our children.

Amidst the recent onslaught of celebrity books and just as I was beginning to wonder about the ability of our industry to produce stimulating, thought-provoking books, this roaring book on parenting comes along. Books will never go the way of Fahrenheit 451, thank God. Publishing formats may be changing, but books are here to stay. They still have the power to make us think, to facilitate change.

Amy Chua probably had no idea that her book would cause such a ruckus, and if she had known she might have written another book. She should be applauded for putting her story out there.
I hear what you're saying, Syn7. In China, if you're poor, you don't get the opportunities to even take violin or piano. But the parents might still demand the world of you. It's a privilege to get an education in China, not a right. It's also a result of Confucianism, IMO.

[Syn7]

word... i think that goes a long way in explaining why parents push so hard in the west... because they do have more of those opportunities and she isnt gonna let any of those opportunities slip by... but thats not the only reason, otherwise you would have the same actions from all peoples comming from poor backgrounds in other nations...

[GeneChing]

Shoot, now I'm thinking we should do a tiger mom article, just to coattail on the press. I'm sure I can find a tiger mom stage parent. In fact, a few come to mind immediately. The question is if they would participate in the dialog....hmmm....

Mary Gates and Karen Zuckerberg Weren't Tiger Moms
Is the Amy Chua approach bad for the American economy? (http://www.slate.com/id/2284502/)
By Ray FismanPosted Wednesday, Feb. 9, 2011, at 1:38 PM ET

Mark Zuckerberg and Amy Chua. Click image to expand.Mark Zuckerberg and Amy ChuaAmy Chua's "tiger mom" approach to childrearing has become a national topic of discussion bordering on obsession. She has clearly tapped into deep-seated anxieties among American parents and educators about the country's children increasingly slipping behind their counterparts in the rising economic giants of the East. The Tiger Mother phenomenon came on the heels of global math and science results that put Chinese students (or, at least, the ones who had migrated to Shanghai) well ahead of the rest of the world, with America's misdirected youth firmly buried in the bottom half. It's easy to imagine that soon the tables of the global economy will be turned, with innumerate Americans working for pennies an hour on assembly lines producing next-generation iPhones designed by Chinese eggheads. The theme was even picked up by President Obama in his State of the Union call to reinvigorate American global competitiveness.

While we shouldn't excuse the dismal showing of U.S. high school students in math and science, we may also not want to push America's next generation to compete head-on with the tiger children of the East. We may be wiser to celebrate the aspects of American culture and education—promoting free-thinking and creativity over rote memorization—that are well-suited to America's current place in the global economy. Let China—with its armies of flawless test-takers—produce automobiles and computer chips with error-free precision; we'll focus on generating a few revolutionary ideas to ensure the next iPhone or Facebook is conceived and designed in America.

One of the basic insights of modern economics is that countries are better off focusing on producing whatever it is that they do relatively well—their so-called comparative advantage. So, for example, if the United States has a particular knack for producing Hollywood entertainment, we'd do well to focus on exporting blockbusters and use the proceeds to buy T-shirts, sneakers, and food.
Advertisement

It turns out, though, that global trade isn't simply a matter of poor countries sending iron ore and plastic toys to rich nations to be exchanged for supercomputers and action movies. Rich countries trade a lot with other rich countries. Some years ago, Gene Grossman and Giovanni Maggi, a pair of international economists, came up with a clever explanation for at least some of this trade between countries that would seem to have similar skills for producing sophisticated goods. If we buy their story, it may have implications for what the United States should take as its priorities in keeping its competitive edge.

Their insight comes from the observation that for some goods—like automobiles and semiconductors—the value of the final product can be undermined by any problem in the design process or along the production line. One poorly designed or installed brake pedal, and the whole package is worth a lot less than that of your error-free competitors. Economists refer to this kind of production—where the value of what's being produced is undermined by one weak link—as O-ring production, in reference to the space shuttle Challenger, which exploded 25 years ago as a result of the failure of one seemingly irrelevant O-ring seal in its rocket booster.

But in other industries, it doesn't matter how many mistakes you've made in experimenting with new ideas as long as someone has an "aha" moment now and again. Pharmaceutical companies, for example, are always looking for the next blockbuster drug that will emerge amid thousands of failed attempts.

The authors argue that precision-minded societies—like Germany, Japan, and, increasingly, China—have a relative advantage in churning out identical copies of well-engineered products. They produce armies of well-trained technicians and scientists well-suited to O-ring design and production.

By contrast, the U.S. contributes to the global economy goods that require a few talented people and their bright ideas—we excel in areas like software design, drug development, and financial services, which we trade to the Germans, Japanese, and Chinese for automobiles and computer chips. (Foreigners may no longer appreciate our genius for financial innovation, given the supposedly risk-free mortgage-backed investments that American bankers passed off onto German bankers and Taiwanese insurance companies, investments that turned out to be worthless.)

Aspects of our education system—the progressive-education movement; the science-fair tradition—may in fact be well-suited to producing the labor force that will allow us to continue to compete on this basis. And even Amy Chua describes her approach to learning as joyless and focused single-mindedly on rote repetition and memorization at the expense of free-thinking creative development. The debate on the future of American education reflects this tension between teaching basic skills that generate higher test scores and fostering the blue-sky creativity that wins science fairs and creates great scientists. Indeed, some blame our increasing obsession with test results for an equally alarming decline in creativity.

This point was picked up by Larry Summers—hardly known as lackadaisical in personality or parenting style—who pointed out in a debate with Chua at Davos that if Karen Zuckerberg and Mary Gates had been tiger moms, they never would have let young Mark or Bill leave Harvard to pursue their entrepreneurial dreams, and we might not have Facebook or Microsoft (though America would probably have two more very competent dentists or lawyers).

Of course, it's hard to invent Facebook or design the iPhone without developing sound foundations in math and science, the kind of preparation that Gates, Zuckerberg, and others born to privilege receive in America's elite private schools. The dismal showing of American students in international tests implies that we're limiting the pool of possible innovators by failing to provide this training to most children.

It also doesn't mean that tiger moms should be any more forgiving in strict violin practice schedules or demands for A+'s in everything (except gym and art): That depends on whether they're willing to give up stronger prospects of Ivy League acceptance for the long shot of producing the next Bill Gates. But for the American economy to exploit its relative advantages fully, we may in fact be better off with a few more easygoing parents and fewer tiger moms.

[Kansuke]

If this were her goal, my opinion would be that she has failed.

The great success stories in the world do not often come from those people who have inherited their parents wealth and more often come from people who start with little or nothing but a will to strive for success.

In short, the second line of my signature below. :)

Do you have kids?

[David Jamieson]

Do you have kids?

get a life pos troll

[Kansuke]

Was that a yes or a no? Don't be shy.

[David Jamieson]

Was that a yes or a no? Don't be shy.

That's a GFY for you chubs. :)

[Kansuke]

Is there a specific reason you are afraid to answer a simple question?

[David Jamieson]

Is there a specific reason you are afraid to answer a simple question?

gonna put ya on ignore now maggot. bye bye.

[Kansuke]

Who would have thought such a simple question would be the one to push him over the edge?

[Kansuke]

A lot of insults too. Curious.

[Syn7]

whoa... thats fukced up DJ... why would you consider this question off limits???

VERY curious...


i have no kids... that i know of... and i would be right ****ed off to find out otherwise... but i do have a god son who ive put ALOT of time into and between fam and friends i have spent alot of time with kids... i had an injury a few years back that kept me from working for a length of time and since i was being paid to stay home i decided to help my peoples and become mister daycare... i saved alitta people alotta money and i learned alot about kids... i feel like when i do have my own kids, i'll have a decent handle on this thang... better to learn the tricks of the trade BEFORE you have your own, IMO...

[GeneChing]

Do you have kids? I have one.

And Syn7, I hear what you're saying but I disagree. Being a parent is something you learn by doing. There's no way you can learn the tricks of the trade beforehand. Other people's kids are totally different from your own. It's like saying you'll figure out marriage by interacting with other people's wives. Well, not quite like that - get that synful thought out of your mind right now - but you get what I'm saying. ;)

[David Jamieson]

I get the feeling he doesn't like you, Kansuke

lol, ya think?

mmm ignore function works great.

[Syn7]

i get what youre saying but i stand by what i said... although i think we agree more than you seem to think... you can learn to parent untill you actually act as a parent... and im saying if you put that time in with other fam and whatnot, you are acting as a parent... you dont have to be a parent to be doing the act of parenting... its all just guidance and mentorship and its a two way street that has a bond of love to keep it together in trying times and make the good times that much better...

my godson doesnt have a reliable father... i taught lil man how to stand and pee... you know what im saying... i didnt spend two weeks babysitting and think i know it all... and i dont know it all... but i am significantly more prepared than i was before any of these experiences... now ofcourse i would have figured it out when the time came if i had to with my own kids, but i happened to have the opportunity in taking a positive role in the lives of other children around me and not only has that changed me and made me personally a better person i feel but its also helped prepare me for my own... i know it... the way i deal with kids now is sooo much better than it was when i was afraid i might break them... ive put the real time in and ive been rewarded for that... ofcourse i'll get curveballs, but im better off with the batting practice than without... there is no doubt about that what so ever...

you said you learn by doing... and thats exactly what im talking about... i wasnt talking bout buying ten books and then knowing whats up... but by doing the work and learning the task... maybe i'll love my own kids more, i dont know...

[David Jamieson]

whoa... thats fukced up DJ... why would you consider this question off limits???

VERY curious...


Oh, I don't. I have a son. :)
But, also, I don't think much of kansuke as he's a dick. lol
Should be in the faq. :D

[Kansuke]

lol, ya think?

no accounting for taste I guess. If you travelled and became enlightened you'd like me more. I'll wait for you to come around!

[Kansuke]

Oh, I don't. I have a son. )


Ah, now we're getting somewhere! So, do you deliberately withhold things from him to make his life more difficult, so to reap the benefits to which you alluded in post #18?

[Kansuke]

And I think sin and gene are both right. But gene is more right.

[Syn7]

)


Ah, now we're getting somewhere! So, do you deliberately withhold things from him to make his life more difficult, so to reap the benefits to which you alluded in post #18?

i will... and i wish my parents had for me...

[Kansuke]

i will... and i wish my parents had for me...


Like what? You wish they had not fed you when you were hungry or put a roof over your head? Are you sorry they put shoes on your feet? Just how deprived does it have to get before these benefits kick in?

[GeneChing]

I was tempted to post this on our zombie thread (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50475), but decided it would be more topical here. I've been in contact with Roger Ma. He was kind enough to forward us a copy of his book. It's quite amusing.


Roger Ma on Why Tiger Mothers Are Superior (During A Zombie Outbreak) (http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2011/02/roger-ma-on-why-tiger-mothers-are-superior-during-a-zombie-outbreak/)
* By Brad Moon Email Author
* February 14, 2011 |
* 12:30 pm |

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past month or so, you’ve probably been inundated by the flood of opinions on Amy Chua’s controversial parenting book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Jonathan posted his thoughts on the matter a month ago and we’re bringing another viewpoint on Chua’s parenting methods. This time, it’s well known zombie-fighting instructor, author of The Zombie Combat Manual: A Guide to Fighting the Living Dead and previous guest post contributor to GeekDad, Roger Ma. I’m willing to bet that the angle of “tiger mothering” has not previously been discussed in the context of surviving a zombie outbreak (The NYT, for example, seldom seems to write critically about the subject of flesh eating corpses); it certainly adds a new light to Chua’s techniques. Read on to see Roger’s take on things.

Why Tiger Mothers Are Superior (During a Zombie Outbreak)
by Roger Ma


Over the past several weeks, the media heat generated Amy Chua’s article “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” has exceeded nuclear fission levels. For the few of you who have been able to remain outside the blast radius, allow me to briefly summarize. In the article, an excerpt from her now best-selling book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Chua details a style of parenting somewhat common among first-generation immigrants, but particularly widespread within the East Asian community. The guidelines of this parenting style Chua enforces on her own children include the following:

• stringent, disciplined academic study
• no television or video games
• no playdates or sleepovers
• musical instrument proficiency (piano and violin only)

In recent media appearances, Chua has backed off from her original intrepid stance (receiving death threats can cause that to happen), saying that her book is meant to be a memoir and self parody. However, I have no doubt that, with the cameras off, she would affirm that not only is her way of parenting the better way, it’s the only way. The other unspoken truth that Chua has not confirmed in either her book or her appearances is that this style of child-rearing is exceptionally well suited to ensuring your children can survive in a world of flesh-eating corpses.

I am a zombie fighter. I am also the product of a Tiger mother. While these two facts may seem incongruous to most people, I can assertively say that not only are they related, they have a direct causal relationship. It is no coincidence that my book, The Zombie Combat Manual, begins with a dedication to my mother “for her strength and discipline.” Having experienced many of the parenting techniques Chua details, I can explain exactly how this type of regimen not only prepares children for the world of higher education, but also a world infested with living dead.In this article, I’ll cover the most prominent guidelines of Tiger mother parenting, and how they relate to becoming an effective zombie combatant.

Discipline
The cornerstone of Tiger mother parenting is the development of discipline within your children. Whether it’s learning 50 new SAT words a day, sitting at the piano for three hours (minimum), or repetitively striking a target in the shape of an undead cranium, discipline enables the Tiger offspring to repeat a task for hours on end with nary a peep of complaint. This skill is especially handy during a large scale zombie outbreak, when your days will be replete with repetitive tasks. Only the most disciplined individuals will be able to sharpen armaments, mend barriers, and beat back ravenous corpses without going completely insane, children raised in the Tiger manner among them.

Math Skills
“When will I ever use this stuff?” This plaintive refrain can be heard among many disobedient children in the throes of mathematical study. While an argument can be made that accelerated calculus and differential equations have limited use in the post-undead world, a quick analytical wit is essential for surviving a zombie outbreak. Should an element of doubt still lurk in your mind, assess the following two scenarios:

* You are being pursued by a zombie. The corpse’s pace averages 23 minutes/mile. You can run an 11-minute mile. If you run 7.5 miles, with two five-minute breaks, how long before you encounter a zombie again?
* Your weapon can only crush another 35 undead skulls. Your exit is blocked by a room packed with the living dead. The room is 10 x 8 feet, and the average standing zombie occupies a space of two square feet. Can you eliminate all the attackers in the room?

Without basic math competency, the answer to these two questions will elude you, as will your ability to survive in an undead world. (Click here for the actual and reality-based answers to these two problems.)

Independence
Another essential component of this extreme parenting strategy is the desire to create an individual that can excel independent of a hovering parent, or what I’ve termed the “Boy Named Sue” strategy. Tiger mothering is also highly critical of the “over-coddling” displayed by today’s Western parents. When it comes to undead survivability, it is often the unfortunate case that due to infection and/or reanimation of a parent, children may be on their own. Which child is more likely to survive a zombie outbreak: the one who has had to manage academic studies, household chores, college prep work, a part-time job, musical practice, Math club, a Westinghouse project, and volunteer hours, or the one whose mom still scrubs his underwear?

Tiger Shortcomings
While I’ve detailed the argued advantages of Tiger parenting, there are admittedly some shortcomings of this type of child-rearing when it comes to zombie apocalypse preparation. Two of these not-insignificant liabilities require additional note:

* Physical Fitness – In traditional Tiger parenting, not only is there a clear lack of emphasis on physical activity and fitness, it is disregarded in lieu of other “more worthwhile” activities. During an attack of flesh-eating corpses, however, your fitness level, at least in the short term, will be critical to your survival. A regimen of physical activity needs to be incorporated into traditional Tiger parenting in order to develop a well-rounded zombie survivor.

* Teamwork – while personal excellence is a focus for the Tiger child, social interaction and the ability to work within groups is typically de-prioritized. In an undead outbreak, this lack of social skill could be detrimental to your child’s survival. While the concept of the “Lone Wolf” survivor and “Last Man Standing” is a romantic one, the reality is that you will need to band together with others who have skills that complement your own. You can survive in a zombie world without being a “team player,” but for how long is questionable.

There are many who contend that this type of uber-strict, hyper-achievement-oriented mentality with little to no room for mental or emotional growth has no place in today’s society. While this point can be argued ad infinitum, there’s no denying the fact that the disciplined product of Tiger parenting will fare infinitely better in a world rampant with flesh-eating corpses. Thus, If you are one these parents that have endured the judgmental gazes of other, non-Tiger training parents, fear not.

When the dead rise, Tiger parents can rest assured that they have prepared their child well to succeed at university as well as battling the living dead.

Roger Ma is the author of The Zombie Combat Manual: A Guide to Fighting the Living Dead. He is currently planning the undead combat training regimen for his two infant sons.

[David Jamieson]

I just listened to her being interviewed on the CBC.

Apparently she waffled with her 15 year old and lets her have sleepovers and she no longer has to play the violin.

so... maybe this ain't all it's puffed up to be and is just an ideal coming out of mom's head but not actually and truly manifest in reality.

[GeneChing]

http://www.juliakimsmith.com/images/obeytm02.jpg

From Julia Kim Smith (http://www.juliakimsmith.com/obey.html)

[GeneChing]

* March 29, 2011, 9:00 AM ET
Tiger Mom…Meet Panda Dad (http://blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/2011/03/29/tiger-mom-meet-panda-dad/)
By Alan Paul

I have watched the uproar over the Tiger Mom debate with growing annoyance that one simple question remains unasked: Where are the dads?

I am a father of three who has been on the frontline of parenting for years, thanks to my wife’s demanding career and my own freelance lifestyle. I refuse to cede the entire discussion about proper child-rearing to mothers, Tiger or otherwise.

When my kids were 2, 4 and 7, our family of five moved from suburban New Jersey to Beijing.

Our 3½ years in China give me an unusual insight into what author Amy Chua claims is not only the best way of parenting but also the Chinese way.

During our first weeks in Beijing, we attended a talent show at our children’s British school and watched Chinese students ascend the stage and play Chopin etudes and Beethoven symphonies, while their Western counterparts ambled up and proudly played the ABCs under their flapping arms. It was enough to make anyone pause and ponder the way we are raising our kids.

But time in China also taught me that while some here view a Chinese education as the gold standard, many there are questioning the system, noting that it stifles creativity and innovation, two things the nation sorely needs. Further, having seen it in action, I have a strong aversion to hard-driving “Tiger” parenting, certain that is not a superior method if your goals are my goals: to raise independent, competent, confident adults.

Call me the Panda Dad; I am happy to parent with cuddliness, but not afraid to show some claw. Though I have had primary child care duties since our eldest son was born 13 years ago, I too have always worked, sometimes juggling a variety of demanding deadlines with an increasingly complex family schedule. As a result, controlled chaos reigns in our house – and it works for us, even if this has befuddled some friends and family members and sent weak-kneed babysitters scurrying for the door.

It has also been a plus for our children, giving them space to take on responsibilities, be independent and see their parents pursuing their own interests and careers while also being very involved in one another’s lives. And it introduced them to a simple fact early: Life itself is controlled chaos and success depends on navigating it, rather than waiting for things to be perfect.

This is largely a male perspective. To make a sweeping generalization, moms tend to be more detail oriented, and order driven. Dads often care less about the mess, can live with a bit more chaos and more easily adopt a big picture view. If my wife and I swapped positions, life would certainly be more orderly. But she cedes to my style of parenting because I am in charge of the day-to-day stuff. Her ability to do this is a key to us having a strong, thriving relationship; you can’t backseat drive how your children are being raised.

This only works if you share the same basic values and the differences are small bore rather than big picture. She would not tolerate me calling the kids garbage or chaining them to a piano bench; we would both view this as barbaric and counterproductive.

Kids raised in this fashion have more of an opportunity to develop their own personalities and interests. Our home is like a state university, where you can get a great education but you have to do your own legwork. A typical night: one kid has a big project due, another has a school play, the third has soccer practice; mom is working late because there is an international crisis brewing but she will barrel home to be sitting in the auditorium when the curtain rises; and I am trying to help everyone while fielding calls on a story I have to finish writing that night after the kids go to bed.

It’s not the hyper-orderly household that Amy Chua portrays, but the kids are constantly learning to take responsibility for their own homework, play time and everything else. Doing so allows them to take genuine pride in their accomplishments. They need to succeed for their own benefit, not to prove that their parents are successful. It’s sheer narcissism to believe that your child’s every success and failure is a reflection of your worth. Get over yourself.

Living in a Beijing housing compound, I watched Western and African kids running through the streets in roving packs of fun-seekers while their Chinese friends looked dolefully out the window in the midst of long hours spent practicing violin, piano or character-writing. When they were done, they unwound by picking up video game consoles. It looked like a sad, lonesome way to grow up and nothing I would ever prescribe to my children. And of course it’s not the only style of Chinese parenting. I saw plenty of kids smashing these same stereotypes.

It also seems insane to cast an eye around the upper-middle-class American milieu Ms. Chua is discussing and conclude that the problem is that our child-rearing is too laid back. The shallowness of this concept will be obvious to anyone who has ever stalked a suburban soccer sideline or listened to New York parents prep their 18-month-old for nursery school interviews. God help us all if Ms. Chua’s books convinces these same people that they simply have not been trying hard enough.

It’s easy to understand a traditional Chinese drive for perfection in children: it is a huge nation with a long history of people thriving at the top and scraping by at the bottom without much in between. The appeal in contemporary America stems from a sense that our nation is becoming stratified in similar ways and is about to get steamrolled by China. If you can’t beat them, join them.

It’s an understandable impulse but it’s wrong. Forcing a child to constantly bend to your will can lead to docile mama’s boys or girls seeking approval for everything they do–or lead to constant rebellion and head-butting. Banning playing and sleeping at friends’ houses furthers a dangerous sense of isolation, denying them the ability to make the very social connections and interactions that they will need throughout life. These are the very skills that kids should be honing for success as a functioning adult, far more important than being able to play piano. Kids need more unstructured play, not less.

Aside from being a much cheaper option than babysitters, sleepovers also help children learn to sleep anywhere, in any bed, with any pillow. This is not an ability to be scoffed at. It is, in fact, one of three goals everyone should realistically set for raising their kids: get them to adulthood with no sleeping, eating or sexual hang-ups. Do that and you will have done your job, launching them off with the foundation needed to thrive.

Drop the hubris of thinking you can pick your children’s friends, interests and musical passions. Instead, help them grow up to be highly functioning, non-neurotic contributors with a strong sense of self. They will thank you.

And so will society.

Alan Paul is the author of “Big in China, My Unlikely Adventures Raising a Family, Playing the Blues and Becoming a Star in Beijing” (Harper). It is based on his award-winning WSJ.com column The Expat Life.
Paul's book looks interesting.

[mawali]

It should be noted that Chua and Rubenfeld are very successful people and are capitalizing on the buzz very well.

It's great as a marketing and financial addition to the spiritualist workplace and if it works, it is great! Stuff like this makes USA great! It gets people talking and keeps them on the 'radar' of success and talk show circuit so kudos to them.


Mother leaves 13 years old alone to go to Taiwan

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/04/07/police-westchester-county-mom-left-13-year-old-daughter-home-alone-while-she-went-to-taiwan-for-a-week/

[GeneChing]

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltfwuhgR6a1qgrb7go1_500.jpg

Not quite a "Totally relevant protest sign (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=62074)" but in that same vein...

[GeneChing]

Tiger Mom has a few regrets (http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/relationship/138682174.html?page=1&c=y)
Article by: LAURIE HERTZEL , Star Tribune
Updated: February 7, 2012 - 10:25 AM

Amy Chua is coming to town to talk about Chinese-American relations and to answer questions about her provocative memoir.
hide

Writer and Yale law professor Amy Chua, shown here on NBC-TV’s “The Today Show,” has taken a lot of heat for her strict philosophy of parenting.

Photo: Peter Kramer, Associated Press
http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/630*412/1tigermom0206.jpg

For those of you who have only heard about "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" and decided you hated it, the Tiger Mother has a request: Read it. All of it. And then decide.

The memoir, a global bestseller that has prompted anger, scorn and vitriolic e-mails, is Amy Chua's account of raising her two daughters "the Chinese way."

Chua, a law professor at Yale University, was brought up by strict immigrant parents. This meant high academic standards, no goofing off, no talking back, and hours each day devoted to schoolwork and music lessons.

When she attempted to raise her own daughters the same way, however, things did not go as smoothly. Her older daughter, Sophia, thrived, but the younger girl, Lulu, did not. There were fights -- big ones. In the book, Lulu rips up her sheet music and Chua doggedly tapes it back together; Lulu refuses to practice her violin and Chua threatens to burn her stuffed animals; both girls make slapdash birthday cards for their mother, and their demanding mother rejects them.

The biggest battles were over the violin, and by book's end, Chua capitulates. "I realized that the violin had begun to symbolize oppression," she writes. "I couldn't lose Lulu. Nothing was more important. So I did the most Western thing imaginable: I gave her the choice."

Chua's book is newly out in paperback and she will be in the Twin Cities on Friday. We caught up with her by telephone last week.

Q Did you have any idea that your book was going to be so controversial?

A I didn't! I thought it was funny. When I was about halfway done, I showed it to a friend of mine, and she said, "You should think about publishing this. It's so interesting for people to know another model, because a lot of us are always wondering why are these Asian kids so good at math and instruments, you know? Is it something in the rice?"

If you read all the way to the end, you realize that it's very self-incriminating. I mean, I have my daughters saying these things to me: "You're selfish, you're insane, you're wrecking our lives" -- it's so filled with self-criticism in a way, coming out of the mouths of my daughters. And you know I end the book with questions about what does it mean to live life to the fullest. Which I still think is the ultimate question.

Q With people horrified by your anecdotes and largely missing the intended humor, do you wish now that you had written it any differently?

A I've thought so much about this. The models for my book were this kind of weird book by Vladimir Nabokov called "Pale Fire," and some books by David Sedaris, and "All Creatures Great and Small," which is a hysterical book about a veterinarian. All these are books where you have this narrator, it's like an unreliable narrator -- they're telling the story and you kind of have to figure out what's really going on.

I intended the book to be much zanier and satirical. Maybe I'm a stubborn girl here, but it's like what my editor said -- because I asked her, actually, when I was writing this, should I tone this down? She said, no, if you sterilize this thing and take out some of these parts it's not going to be the same honest memoir.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have put in a prologue that says, "Look, this book is supposed to be kind of funny." But some people do get it.

Q How is the paperback tour going?

A This year was so much better. Last year they had to hire security guards. I got some really mean e-mails, really just so intensely angry e-mails -- "I hope both your daughters commit suicide," "We're gonna come get you in Chicago." One said "fan mail" in the subject line and I opened it and it said, "There's a special place for you in hell."

This year there were still very, very big crowds. But I think somehow maybe the word had seeped out that the book was maybe not quite what people thought it was. People were much more open, the crowds were much more receptive.

Q But despite the hostility, people were buying the book, right? It sold all over the world?

A Thirty countries. I was so confused. I was wondering, What is going on? If everybody hates me, why are they buying it?

Q Do you worry that the book perpetuates stereotypes about Asian-American parents?

A I actually don't worry about that. I do hear that criticism and that's the one I have the hardest time seeing. The Asian stereotype is strict moms. But if you read the book, it conveys how much I, more than anything, love my children. And the other Asian stereotype is that we're these robotic people who just work hard and have no imagination. And even if you hate this book, the one thing it's not is, it's not conformist and robotic. It's a very bold, unusual, contrarian book, filled with satire. It destroys Asian stereotypes because it's a very rebellious book.

Q How are your daughters?

A They are actually doing great. Sophia just went back up to college [Harvard] yesterday. Lulu is a sop****re in high school. She just turned 16 a few days ago. I would say she's completely thriving. A lot of changes have taken place since she rebelled -- I really did change in many ways cold turkey. I mean, not totally -- I'm still a parent with very high expectations school-wise. But, you know, Lulu is a very social girl, so we've had a party at our house every weekend. She had a big sleepover for her 16th. She's a great student. She went back to violin, but the rule is: I cannot interfere. Ever. Period.

Q How have your views on parenting changed?

A I've had so many e-mails that say, Why only piano or violin? But the punch line of the book is that I let Lulu drop violin. One of the lessons that I learned is that, boy, I wish I'd have given my children more choices. I still believe that Western parents tend to give too many choices. But I think that I gave my kids too few choices. And certainly as they got older, I've had, you know, regrets. Like, why not? Why didn't I say, try the saxophone?
Sax & violins...;)

[Syn7]

When the book came out it made a buzz, but since it got big enough to catch the attention of academia it has been utterly obliterated by real statistics. Children that are pushed hard and punished hard don't do quite as well as children who are pushed hard but are further encouraged after failure. Tiger mom does good by having high expectations, but she falls short by being completely selfish, weak and irresponsible when she lashes out at her babies. Not to mention the long term damage being done to her childs self image.

I think subjects like child psychology should be left to those who actually know something about it. It's too important to start muddying the waters for the sake of pushing an opinion outside her field.

[-N-]

I'm now curious. Who here was raised by a Tiger Mom or a FOB? I wasn't. My parents were fairly indulgent as I did pretty well academically. They let me pursue martial arts instead of violin and piano. Look where that got me. :rolleyes:

2 for 2 here.

Tiger Mom and FOB Mom both.

Made me what I am today.

[-N-]

I could be wrong, but it seems more about/for the parents themselves than for their kids.

Yes, you are right about being wrong :)

[Jimbo]

Yes, you are right about being wrong :)

I may be wrong in some cases, but there are cases I've seen where I'm not.

[bawang]

my cousin has a 5 year child and wants to sexy intercourse with me to get usa green card. she take me to hotel room but i was scares. is this normal

[-N-]

I may be wrong in some cases, but there are cases I've seen where I'm not.

Well, there are all kinds of people and motivations.

A lot of Tiger Mom reasoning here in the US is to use overachievement as a defense against racism.

[-N-]

my cousin has a 5 year child and wants to sexy intercourse with me to get usa green card. she take me to hotel room but i was scares. is this normal

No.

Most 5 year olds are not able to get hotel rooms.

She must be very advanced.

[bawang]

it was a donkey, i had to carry on my back

[GeneChing]

I always suspected as much....

Poor Little Tiger Cub (http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/05/_tiger_mom_study_shows_the_parenting_method_doesn_ t_work.single.html#pagebreak_anchor_2)
The first major study of tiger moms is out. The kids have worse grades, and they are more depressed and more alienated from their parents.
By Paul Tullis|Posted Wednesday, May 8, 2013, at 8:45 AM
Photo by Kim Hong-Ji/Reuters.

When Amy Chua’s book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother came out in 2011, it sparked controversy among many people but especially psychologists and experts in child development. The book, they felt, had lodged in the culture certain stereotypes about an Asian parenting style that was not well-studied or well-understood and certainly not ready to be held up as some kind of model.

Chua’s book was a somewhat tongue-in-cheek memoir of her experiences raising her two daughters with her (non-Asian) husband, which involved hours of forced music practice every day, severe restrictions on extracurriculars, outright bans on social activities like sleepovers, and punishment and shaming on the rare occasions her children failed to attain their mother’s high expectations. Chua eased off as her kids grew older, and she admitted that she might have been wrong in some instances. (Mainstream media coverage portrayals were somewhat less nuanced). Nonetheless, the story of a Yale-professor mother who had pushed her child until she landed at Carnegie Hall seemed to confirm that Asian-American parents are tough, demanding—and they consistently produce ****zes.

When Chua’s book first hit the transom, Su Yeong Kim thought, “Oh my God! I actually have data for this!” An associate professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas, Kim had been following more than 300 Asian-American families for a decade when the book came out. In March, she published her results; they will no doubt surprise Chua and her admirers. Children of parents whom Kim classified as “tiger” had lower academic achievement and attainment—and greater psychological maladjustment—and family alienation, than the kids of parents characterized as “supportive” or "easygoing.”

For Kim’s study, parents and children answered questions during the children’s adolescence about their parenting styles. The vast majority of parents were foreign-born in Hong Kong or southern China, with relatively low educational attainment and a median income of between $30,001 and $45,000 in each of the study’s three phases, spaced out equally over eight years. Three-quarters of their kids were American-born. The study controlled for socioeconomic status and other potentially confounding factors.*

Kim wanted to look at a particular paradox that had emerged in the academic literature regarding Asian-American parents. When she began, of course, the term “tiger parent” didn’t exist, but scholars had the same impression as average Americans, that “Asian-American parents are more controlling, yet their children are also doing very well academically,” Kim recounts. This was somewhat of a mystery because it contradicted the experience of European-American children; overly strict and unresponsive white parents typically produce messed-up losers.

Since the 1960s, academics have separated parenting styles into three categories, or “profiles”: permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian. Authoritative parenting—a combination of high responsiveness with the exercise of power that’s open to negotiation—has been found (in white families) to produce higher-achieving children with fewer symptoms of depression. Authoritarian parenting combines coercion with less responsiveness, and leads to higher depressive symptoms and lower self-esteem. Permissive parenting is characterized by high warmth and low control and demandingness. (Negligent parenting, added in the 1980s, is both cold and undemanding.)

http://www.slate.com/content/dam/slate/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/05/_tiger_mom_study_shows_the_parenting_method_doesn_ t_work/130508_TigerMomChart.jpg.CROP.original-original.jpg

Kim did not feel that any of these descriptions quite matched what she had experienced growing up. “Whenever scholars compare European-American and Asian-American families,” she said, parents among the latter “almost always score higher on controlling and lower on warmth, which means they’re more likely to be classified as authoritarian.” Yet, their kids were outperforming whites in school. This gave rise to the “achievement/adjustment paradox”: kids doing well by external measures while feeling torn apart inside.

Kim decided that for her study, she would both parse further the different dimensions of the Eurocentric profiles and create new ones that better fit the styles of the East Asian families. The responsiveness that’s considered an aspect of “authoritative” parenting, for example, was broadened to include both positive and negative attributes: warmth and hostility. Control, she would write, has “multiple facets … positive control is measured by parental monitoring and democratic parenting; negative control is measured by psychological control and punitive parenting.” Kim also added inductive reasoning, which is a measure of effective communication, and shaming, which had been established in the literature as a significant aspect in the rearing of Chinese-origin kids.

Adolescents and parents rated the parents on several qualities, for example, “act loving, affectionate, and caring,” “listen carefully,” and “act supportive and understanding.” Warmth, reasoning, monitoring, and democratic parenting were considered positive attributes, while hostility, psychological control, shaming, and punitive measures were considered negative. These characterizations would be combined through a statistical method known as latent profile analysis to determine Kim’s four parenting profiles: Those scoring highest on the positive dimensions were labeled “supportive;” those scoring low on both dimensions were deemed “easygoing;” “harsh” parents were high on negative attributes and low on positive ones, and “tiger” parents scored high on both positive and negative dimensions.

Despite the popular image of Chinese-American parenting that Chua’s book bolstered, fewer “tiger” parents emerged from Kim’s analysis than did “supportive” parents. “Easygoing” were similar in number as “tigers,” and the fewest parents were deemed “harsh.”

Kim also measured the outcomes for each of her categories. Supportive parents had the best developmental outcomes, as measured by academic achievement, educational attainment, family obligation (considered positive outcomes), academic pressure, depressive symptoms, and parent-child alienation (considered negative).Academic achievement and attainment were purely data-driven, while the latter four came from different assessments developed by academics over the years (the academic pressure rating is Kim’s own), which, while considered reliable, are inherently somewhat subjective. Children of easygoing parents were second in outcomes, while tiger moms produced kids who felt more alienated from their parents and experienced higher instances of depressive symptoms. They also had lower GPAs, despite feeling more academic pressure.

In the end, then, Kim finds that Chinese immigrant moms and dads are not that different from American parents with European ancestry: three of Kim’s types correspond to the parenting styles in the prior literature derived from studies of whites (supportive/authoritative, easygoing/permissive, harsh/authoritarian). What’s different is the emergence of the “tiger” profile. Since “tigers” in Kim’s study scored highly on the shaming practice believed more common among Asian-Americans, it seems that, pre-Chua at least, tiger parenting would be less common among whites. (The moms rated themselves more highly on shaming than even their kids, suggesting tiger moms—like Chua, who recounted such instances in her best-seller—feel no shame in their shaming)

And although Chua presented her own children as Exhibit A of why her parenting style works, Kim said, “Our data shows Tiger parenting produces the opposite effect. Not just the general public but Asian-American parents have adopted this idea that if I'm a tiger parent, my kids will be ****zes like Chua’s kids. Unfortunately, tiger children’s GPA’s and depressive symptoms are similar to those whose parents who are very harsh.

“Tiger parenting doesn't produce superior outcomes in kids.”

Correction, May 10, 2013: This article originally and mistakenly stated that the study controlled for sibling order.

[David Jamieson]

Gee, who knew that a malformed sense of idealism wouldn't work?
lol.

ah well. It's easy to rile the people up and make them think a terrible idea is a great idea!

I present History as my source.

[GeneChing]

Jie-Song Zhang
Tiger Mom vs. Brooklyn Dragon: I Hereby Challenge Amy Chua to a Barefist Kung Fu Duel (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jiesong-zhang/tiger-mom-vs-brooklyn-dra_b_4612775.html)
Posted: 01/21/2014 1:26 pm

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1574479/thumbs/n-AMY-CHUA-large570.jpg
Amy Chua

Amy Chua, I offer these words as a declaration of kung fu challenge -- an invitation to engage in a stern dialogue of fists such that we can measure, publicly and for the world to know, who between the two of us has the bigger, longer Chinese-ness. I'm talkin' me and you and the most Chinesest challenge imaginable. I'm talkin' I wanted to send you this invitation written in calligraphy on a small rolled up scroll, delivered by a pigeon -- but my pigeon has a drinking problem and was too hungover to fly. I'm talkin' I wanted to send shirtless kung fu henchmen to your house to silently but dramatically mouth these words in Mandarin while a poorly synced English translation plays on a tape recorder. That's the level of Chinese-ness I'm talking about.

Tell me how you want it, Chua. We could match fists across the rooftops of a small rural village, the shadow outlines of our battle poses stitched across the cold black fabric of night. We could flying swordfight ballet upon the tops of tallest trees, barefoot or wearing Li-Ning sneakers. We could get down in Chinatown at the corner of Mott and Bayard, with a gathered crowd of elderly Chinese men, all of them squatting and smoking cigarettes as they watch us. Whatever you want to do. We could trade stances and glances in an ancient temple, awash in a thousand beads of candlelight, encircled by bare-headed monks thumbing their beads and chanting. We could shadow-box in the middle of the Stuyversant High School cafeteria, amid a room full of Chinese kids taking the SATs and scoring perfect on the Math sections. We could get real, real Chinese with it.

I'm talkin' the most Chinese Mahjong Fukien showdown. Ever.

*

See, Amy, you're not the only person who can make a circus of our culture and caricatures of our people for the sake of grabbing a little public attention. It's naïve to blame you, really, being that much of modern society is driven by a "be seen at all costs" mentality -- at all costs, disregarding all potential consequences, and effortlessly detached of morality -- and you are certainly not the only one whose bank account feeds from leveraging the public's fear and ignorance. But, I am curious if you have ever found a moment, undressed of your "Tiger Mom, celebrity author" costume and all of the salesmanship it entails, to sit in your natural skin as an Asian-American, and as a mother, to properly measure how the thoughts you spread might affect our community, and in particular our youth -- those young people of shiny black eyes and straight black hair who look like you and me, many of them growing up exactly as you and I had to grow up, isolated from other Asians and left to fend for themselves in that psychological warfare of the modern American childhood, with its teasing, its bullying, its acts of merciless dehumanization.

Have you ever maturely measured such things?

1) Your personal success, popularity, and financial gain from Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom are paid for by an increased threat of psychological and even physical violence for Asian youth, everywhere throughout America.

Across today's America, you will find a thousand, thousand young Asian people who are engaged in violent struggle to accept themselves -- to find belonging in the image of their own faces and in the customs of their own families -- because they are Asian in America. Because they are mocked and insulted for the way their eyes look, for their "complicated" last names, for the traditional Asian food they bring to school lunch, for the way their parents speak with an accent and behave so differently from "normal American parents." This is an immeasurably large number of fragile and developing psyches -- young children and teens, exquisitely innocent and beautiful -- looking upon America from behind eyes that look like yours and mine, and confronted by the impossibly difficult task of finding self-worth amid a social reality that tends to repay their Asian identity with insult, mental and emotional aggression, pain. Thousands of us grow up quietly "wanting to be White," some even seeking surgical procedures to change our eyes, or our bone structure; so many of us so intensely willing to pawn the immense treasure of our cultural heritage for the comfort of "feeling normal and being accepted in America." Thousands of us grow up without the ability to be physically attracted to other Asians, or even to befriend and feel close to other Asians, a profound symptom of the severe discomfort that exists in our relationships with ourselves. And though we rarely discuss it, there are many instances where we hang out with or date Whites as a means of assimilation, to escape the awareness of feeling foreign; to validate our place in this country, by fleeing from our roots.

Amy, these difficulties experienced by our community are a result of Asians being perceived and treated as alien -- as non-human -- by members of other American communities. If a person is addressed, relentlessly, as if he or she is less than human, then he or she will feel it, will believe it, after time.

When you, as an Asian-American, make public a statement such as "Chinese mothers are superior," I understand that it is a strategic self-promotional needle intended to pierce at that acutely sensitive, easily agitated region of the American psyche that concerns itself with race, ethnicity, and nationality; and you do this to conjure public drama and give visibility, marketability to your book. This is clear; this is easy. But you should also realize that when you say, so publicly, such a thing as "Chinese mothers are superior," what members of other groups essentially hear is the arrogant declaration: "Chinese people are superior." Their intuitive reaction will then be to respond with a sentiment of "F-- Chinese people", which, in America, is ultimately "F-- Asian people." To re-fold what I am trying to say: your work contributes to anti-Asian sentiment and increases the alienation experienced by Asians across the United States. Such sentiments lead to retaliation against Asian people, exposing the more vulnerable members of our community to an increased threat of psychological and even physical violence. "Oh, your ***** family is so superior, isn't it? Well, what's your Tiger Mom gonna do when I beat your f-ing ass?" I'm sure you've known racism in the United States, Amy, and as such, I imagine you can hear with great clarity the realism of such a statement.
continued next post

[GeneChing]

2) Your new work¸ The Triple Package, attempts to assess the value of human communities based on income and test scores - this is shallow and simple-minded.

The Black community began its history in the United States of America held by chains. They have since marched through generation after generation of inequality, brutality, systematic dehumanization... and across the distance of this advancing struggle, they have met each step with grace and pride intact. How does one rely on numbers to tell of such strength and radiance of heart? And this is to say nothing of the cultural innovations of Black America -- in the arts, in language, in urban culture, in freedom of expression -- which have profoundly altered the design of the entire human culture. I have personally absorbed from my interaction with the Black community profound lessons on standing tall and with furious dignity against the winter wind of racism. My relationship with Black America has trained me in unique and liberating techniques of self-expression and celebration. I am a more quality human being for having been influenced and shaped in America by Blacks, but also Latinos, Muslims, Jews -- many other groups -- and none of the things I have gained from my immersion in these communities could ever be conveyed with a no. 2 pencil across a multiple choice answer sheet.

Conversely, concealed beneath a glamorous cover page that speaks of our prolific spending power and professional achievement, is the reality that a great number of Asian-Americans cannot even look each other in the eyes when we pass one another on the street. I speak of Asian faces struggling to look upon other Asian faces, because we do not know how to confront the discomfort we experience as a people, so we instead look away from who we are. This is a trauma that no Harvard degree or executive title at a Fortune 500 company, no minty new Lexus or penthouse condo, can heal.

3) Your two latest books drive a feeling of distance and opposition between communities, endangering the American future.

America, with an effort that is arguably more dedicated and advanced than any other nation, has labored throughout its history to confront the most ancient ignorance: the one that deceives human beings of differing skin tones, belief systems, and ancestral backgrounds into feeling as though they share nothing in common with one another. The greatest of all American innovations could one day be the birthing of a society in which all varieties of people are able to identify in one another the shared, binding experience that defines us as human beings. But while many strive today to cleanse our nation of pre-modern biases and ignorance, work such as Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom and The Triple Package add more pollutants to our social eco-system, strengthening the perception of difference, distance, and opposition between our communities.

We are walking now through a climactic passage in American history where the long held and previously unquestioned understanding of America as a definitively White and Christian nation is being forcefully challenged by an increased diversity both in the American distribution of power and in the voices that carry the American conversation. This ever-strengthening challenge to the American identity has created a feverish and still escalating tug-of-war for the soul of the United States, pitting those who push towards a more diverse and tolerant America against those unwilling to surrender yesterday's status quo. Indeed, America's social climate trembles with oncoming storm. The projecting image that we see of America's arriving future tells of a continued and intensifying economic hardship, as well a widening fissure dividing rich and poor. Such periods of economic suffering are generally accompanied by a growing tension between different ethnic and cultural groups, often leading to violent and destructive activity. Now, is a time of true vulnerability and fertility in the story of the United States -- a moment like those chilling, surreal ones we encounter in the defining experiences of our individual lives, marked by the presence of both real danger and grand opportunity. Now, is a time when the spreading of thoughts that antagonize and divide our communities is most dangerous; a time when gestures that might unite our communities, are most necessary.

*

A truly Chinese principle, one inherited from ancient ancestors, is the awareness that all the independent movements of life ultimately abide by the motion of one unified, greater destiny. The ancient Chinese recognized that the value of the individual part is expressed in its relationship and interaction with other parts in achieving the harmony of a greater whole. So too are the people -- White, Black, Asian, Latino, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc. -- of the United States of America bound to a shared path, one that is ultimately tethered to the greater destiny of humankind and the earth. We have arrived in an epoch of history where the state of interdependence and shared consequence between humans is widely visible, provable, and (most importantly) teachable -- and America, this cradle that nurses a thousand ancestries, is a fitting place to develop and broadcast such thoughts that would make all of us more aware of our being inseparably bound to one another. In this way, our nation, and the world, might come to intuitively understand that it can only be in the recognition of our great common cause, in the joining together of our individual strengths, and in the sharing of our collective responsibilities that we will pass through honorably to the next stage of humankind.

Brings this thread back on topic for our Kung Fu forum here. :cool:

[-N-]

To re-fold what I am trying to say: your work contributes to anti-Asian sentiment and increases the alienation experienced by Asians across the United States. Such sentiments lead to retaliation against Asian people, exposing the more vulnerable members of our community to an increased threat of psychological and even physical violence.

That's why we have kung fu.

[-N-]

Also, the writer has a pretty funny subtext going on about banging her into submission. Reclaiming her from the white man, I take it.

[GeneChing]

vs. Wolf Dad :rolleyes:


Tiger Mum or Cat Dad? Claws out over parenting styles (http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-32888712)
By BBC Trending
28 May 2015

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/media/images/83257000/jpg/_83257379_tigermomcatdad.jpg
Poster image for Chinese TV show Tiger Mum Cat Dad

Move over Tiger Mother - there's a new cat on the block.

Perhaps you're familiar with the super-strict mum who pushes her kids to be the best at school, sport, and music - no matter what the cost. It's a parenting style made famous in 2011 by the Chinese-American author Amy Chua and her best-selling book "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother". Well, there's another feline in the parenting world: Cat Dad.

Cat Dad takes a more softly, softly approach to parenting - preferring to be emotionally sensitive, gentle and relaxed about rules and discipline, in the belief that it will make their offspring self-sufficient and independent. The term has been trending on the micro blogging site Sina Weibo because of a hit Chinese television programme, "Tiger Mom Cat Dad". The two lead characters are, as the title suggests, a fierce Tiger Mom and a chilled-out Cat Dad. Their styles collide as they try to raise their young daughter.

While Cat Dad may not be as well known as Tiger Mother, he's actually been around nearly as long. One of the original Cat Dads was Chang Zhitao, a father from Shanghai who went head to head in a debate with Chua shortly after her book was published. Despite having vastly different approaches to parenting, both Chua and Chang had daughters who were accepted into Harvard University.

And as if the Tiger-Cat fight wasn't enough, there's also another animalistic parenting persona coming from China. Wolf Dad is even stricter than Tiger Mom and is epitomised by Xiao Baiyou, a father who believes that "beating kids is part of their upbringing."

"Just as their names suggest, Cat Dad prefers a gentle approach to children's education, while Tiger Mom and Wolf Dad believe that education is a painful process," says Vincent Ni of BBC Chinese. "It's been a long time since Chinese TV aired such a drama that captured the two seemingly conflicting education philosophies so well. While closely following the drama, Chinese audiences also took to social media to discuss, share and voice their different opinions of the way to raise kids."

More than 80m people tuned into "Tiger Mom Cat Dad" and the series finale attracted tens of thousands of comments on Weibo. Some defended Cat Dad: "I think there is too much bullying going on in their household. It's completely disrespectful. There's no consideration whatsoever towards the man," one user commented. Others saw the dad as a weak character who wasn't compatible with his wife: "I think the tiger mother and the cat dad should divorce," one viewer wrote. "I really hope a wolf dad and tiger mother can be together. This type of 'warm man' (Cat Dad) is a not real man."

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Actor Tong Dawei shared his own #CatDad experience

Tong Dawei, the actor who plays the Cat Dad in the TV show, posted an image of himself and his daughter to his personal Weibo account with the tongue-in-cheek caption: "Mum went out when the water pipes were broken. Daddy held back his tears and mended it before she came back." It got a huge reaction - over 63,000 likes and 5,000 comments - including the remark "As a man, I could in no way be like the 'Cat Dad'" - proof that even when life imitates art, being a Cat Dad still hasn't really caught on in China.

Blog by Anne-Marie Tomchakand Kerry Allen.

[GeneChing]

Shanghai man sues actress Zhao Wei for 'staring' at him on TV (http://shanghaiist.com/2015/06/08/shanghai-man-sues-actress-zhao-wei-staring-at-him.php)

http://shanghaiist.com/attachments/shang_shanghaiist/zhao-wei-1.jpg

Today in weird court cases: a man in Shanghai filed a lawsuit against the famous actress Zhao Wei for staring at him through the TV screen.

The man has accused the actress of causing "spiritual damage" with her intense glares and is now demanding compensation, China Times reports, citing the People's Court of Shanghai Pudong's New District.

http://shanghaiist.com/attachments/shang_shanghaiist/zhao-wei-2.jpg

Zhao stars in the popular TV drama Tiger Mom (《虎媽貓爸》), which began airing on Dragon Television and Tianjin Television in May. She plays one of the main characters, who is described as "emotionally unstable" and is known to give piercing stares to her on-screen husband and daughter.

According to Legal Daily, Shanghai's courts have seen a number of bizarre lawsuits come through since last month, when a new system of processing court cases became effective. Recently, a lawyer took legal action against a district court judge for causing damage to his health after the judge failed to call a break during a proceeding.

As of this month, The People's Court of Shanghai in Pudong New District has dismissed a total of 14 cases.


I've always liked Zhao Wei, ever since Shaolin Soccer (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?46486-Shaolin-Soccer). She does have enormous peepers though. :eek:

[PalmStriker]

:) She's a TOTAL BABE.

[GeneChing]

...or is that billionairess?

Hot, rich and has a huge peepers that can cause spiritual damage. Yeah, I've always crushed on Zhao Wei for oh so many reasons... :)




Rob Cain
Contributor
Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own.
Media & Entertainment 6/06/2015 @ 1:35CH 218.238 views
China's Billionaire Actress Zhao Wei (http://www.forbes.com/sites/robcain/2015/06/06/chinas-billionaire-actress-zhao-wei/)

The world’s wealthiest working actress is a former kindergarten teacher with such keen investing acumen that she’s been nicknamed “China’s show-business Buffett” by her country’s media.

Combining brains and beauty with a Midas touch, Zhao “Vicki” Wei (赵薇) has parlayed her TV and movie acting salaries, her hefty endorsement fees, and her smart investment moves into a personal fortune, shared with her husband Huang Youlong, that recently zoomed past the billion-dollar mark.

(Ed. Note: Because Zhao shares her fortune with her husband, she would not currently qualify for inclusion in our annual billionaire rankings, which require individuals to have a net worth of $1 billion apiece, and married couples to have a shared worth of at least $2 billion, equivalent to $1 billion apiece.)

As one of China’s biggest stars, Zhao has earned millions from her acting roles, and even more from an extraordinary range of brand endorsements. She’s touted over 120 products ranging from Chinese health and beauty supplies to wines to motorcycles, as well as western brands like Mercedes Benz, DeBeers, Versace, Zegna, Dior, Jaeger-LeCoultre, Motorola and others.

http://blogs-images.forbes.com/robcain/files/2015/06/Zhao-Wei.jpg
Zhao Wei

Successful investments in real estate, a French winery, and a Singapore jewelry retailer have further boosted her fortune. But it has been her shrewd stock market picks that have put Zhao Wei in the “three comma club” (billionaire status), as HBO’s “Silicon Valley” character Russ Hanneman would put it.

Zhao’s biggest and most lucrative score has been her December, 2014 investment in close friend Jack Ma’s Alibaba Pictures Group. Back in June, 2014, Ma had acquired a 61 percent stake in a money losing movie operation, then called ChinaVision, at a valuation of $10.4 billion Hong Kong dollars (USD 1.3 billion). To boost the stock market value of his investment, Ma, a novice in the film business, asked Zhao Wei to bring a touch of celebrity to the film unit.

According to a Hong Kong stock exchange filing, Zhao purchased a 9.18 percent stake in Alibaba Pictures for HKD 3.1 billion (U.S. $400 million) through Gold Ocean Media, an investment company she owns with her husband Huang. Six months later, after a frenzied rise in Hong Kong stock prices, Alibaba Pictures’ market cap has soared to HKD 74.3 billion ($9.6 billion), leaving the couple with a stake (reduced by the sale of some shares in April) worth $762 million. Combining that windfall with their other holdings, the couple’s net worth has now topped $1 billion.

Born in eastern China’s mountainous Anhui province, Zhao has claimed that she never planned to become famous, explaining, “I thought actresses had to be beautiful, and I thought I was ordinary.”

The 39-year-old actress caught the acting bug at 17 when the film Hua Hun starring Gong Li came to her hometown and she was chosen to appear as an extra. Soon after, she quit her job as a kindergarten teacher and headed to Shanghai to enroll in a new film arts academy founded by legendary director Xie Jin. Then, at the age of 20 she earned the highest score in the entrance exam to enroll at the prestigious Beijing Film Academy.

While still a student there she rose to national prominence when she starred—along with now world-famous actress Fan Bingbing—in the smash hit TV drama My Fair Princess. For that role she became the youngest actress to win China’s Golden Eagle Award, the equivalent of America’s Emmy Award. She went on to more awards recognition for a string of film appearances, most notably John Woo’s Red Cliff, the epic adventure Warriors of Heaven and Earth and the Painted Skin films.

Beyond acting, Zhao’s talents also extend into other artistic fields. She had a successful career as a singer, recording seven albums between 1999 and 2009, scoring numerous top 10 hits on the Chinese music charts and an MTV Asia award as Favourite Artist from Mainland China. In 2013 Zhao made her movie directorial debut with the youth romance So Young. The film became a big box office hit, earning USD 118 million at mainland multiplexes which made it the fifth highest grossing film in Chinese box office history at the time.

Zhao has put some of her money and her time to work for charitable causes, with active involvement and donations to such organizations as the China Youth Foundation’s Hope Project, the United Nations Children’s Fund, and to China Red Cross. In 2011 Zhao received the China Charity Billboard Award for her contributions to others in need.

[PalmStriker]

:D So have you interviewed her yet? I'm sure she would like to grace the cover of Kungfu TaiChi in a form-set pose, yes?

[GeneChing]

The closest I ever got to Zhao Wei was at a Shaolin Festival. Read Shaolin Trips: Episode 4 - A Hero Watching the Formation: Chapter 2: Xingqiliu (Saturday): The Opening Ceremony & Gala Night (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/ezine/article.php?article=580). There's a photo I took of her in that article. Well, actually it's a photo of her image on a jumbotron monitor as she was on stage and I was miles away on the other side of the stadium. :rolleyes:

[Syn7]

Not sure if this was posted elsewhere. So weird! I'm guessing this new rule is an attempt at giving the average guy a fair shake?

Chinese actress Zhao Wei sued for 'staring' at man through his TV set

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/33075066/chinese-actress-zhao-wei-sued-for-staring-at-man-through-his-tv-set

[GeneChing]

Forget Cat Dads and Wolf Dads (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?59579-Tiger-Mothers-and-FOB-Moms&p=1284233#post1284233).

And this thread totally goes ON TOPIC. :D


Chinese father who famously forced his child to run in just his underwear in the middle of winter now holds CLASSES for boys to train topless in the snow (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3428253/Chinese-father-famously-forced-child-run-just-underwear-middle-winter-holds-CLASSES-boys-train-topless-snow.html?ITO=applenews)

'Eagle Dad' He Leisheng has set up a snow-training academy in China
Famously made son, five, run through the snow in NYC in his underwear
Now uses the same winter training methods on other Chinese children

By SARA MALM FOR MAILONLINE
PUBLISHED: 10:42 EST, 2 February 2016 | UPDATED: 14:16 EST, 2 February 2016


A man who famously made his five-year-old son run through the snowy streets of New York wearing just his underwear has now set up his own 'winter training academy'.
He Leisheng, from Nanjing, capital of east China's Jiangsu Province, has become known as 'Eagle Dad' for the gruelling challenges he puts his children through in the name of 'parenting'.
However, his tough-love approach has made him a local celebrity, with other parents now letting him train their children - topless and in the snow.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/15/30CEB29000000578-3428253-image-a-33_1454427383051.jpg
Training: More than a dozen young boys take part in outdoor 'Eagle Dad' training sessions where they are forced to run topless through the snow

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/15/30CEB36900000578-3428253-image-a-38_1454427416879.jpg
Tough love: Mr He's own son joined 13 other boys for a topless workout, despite freezing temperatures

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/15/30CEB29D00000578-3428253-image-a-35_1454427397205.jpg
They see me rolling: The young boys even had to roll through the snow during the gym class

Mr He became a household name in China four years ago when he made his son, He Yide, run and train in a wintry New York in nothing but his underwear.
Mr He is now leading his own unorthodox gym class in his son's school, arguing that the challenge will help fortify the mental and physical strength of their children.

His son Yide is now 8 years old and his father believes his son benefits from being exposed to harsher environments.
And judging by the turnout at his new training camp, it is obvious that other parents agree.
Photos from the Jiangsu Physical Education College show Yide and more than a dozen other children taking part in the winter training regime.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/15/30CEB29800000578-3428253-image-a-36_1454427402136.jpg
Father of the year: He Leisheng, from Nanjing, Jiangsu Province, has become known as 'Eagle Dad' for the gruelling challenges he puts his children through in the name of 'parenting'

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http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/15/30CEB2A300000578-3428253-image-m-46_1454427449220.jpg
Mr He is argues that the topless snow training will help fortify the mental and physical strength of the children

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/15/30CEB36100000578-3428253-image-a-42_1454427427288.jpg
Mr He who dubbed himself the 'Eagle Father', saying mother eagles will push their chicks out of the nest in order to teach them to fly - a philosophy he adopted with his own son

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/15/30CEB36E00000578-3428253-image-a-43_1454427431302.jpg
Tough: The training session lasts nine minutes in total and stars with a short warm-up led by Mr He

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/15/30CEB37400000578-3428253-Mr_He_famously_made_his_son_Yide_train_in_a_wintry _New_York_in_j-m-49_1454427736289.jpg
Mr He famously made his son Yide train in a wintry New York in just his underwear when he was five

Girls were allowed to wear a top and trousers, while boys were given only trousers to wear as they rolled around in the snow during the military-style exercise.
The training lasts nine minutes in total and stars with a short warm-up led by Mr He, who will continue to train his kids year on year.
Mr He, a businessman, became determined to toughen his son up after the boy was born prematurely, leading doctors to warn that he might suffer physical defects.
Mr He devised an 'eagle education' plan for his son, including swimming lessons from just 10 days outside the incubator, lessons from the age of six months, and mountain climbing from two years old
Other challenges for Yide included eight hours of lessons a day from the age of six months, mountain climbing from two years old, and five miles of jogging every day.
Yide was also registered for classes including kung fu and kickboxing, while he took up skateboarding and bike riding of his own accord.
It was Mr He who dubbed himself the 'Eagle Father', saying mother eagles will push their chicks out of the nest in order to teach them to fly - a philosophy he adopted with his own son.
The name is taken from Chinese-American author Amy 'Tiger Mother' Chua's who argued that Chinese mothers were superior to American mothers because they pushed their children harder.

[GeneChing]

'Tiger mother' jailed for beating her adoptive son with a skipping rope when he didn't do his homework is released (and he was very happy to see her) (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/peoplesdaily/article-3491130/I-really-miss-Nine-year-old-boy-runs-hug-adoptive-mother-released-jail-despite-savagely-whipped-homework.html?ITO=applenews)

'Tiger mum' was released after six months detention in Jiangsu, China
The former journalist was sentenced in prison for beating her adopted son
The boy was seen crying outside and waiting for his mother to be released

By SOPHIE WILLIAMS FOR MAILONLINE
PUBLISHED: 06:59 EST, 14 March 2016 | UPDATED: 07:13 EST, 14 March 2016

A tiger mother from China who was sentenced to six months in prison for beating her adopted son was released from jail yesterday and greeted by the boy.

The woman named Li Zhengqin was met at the prison gates by the nine-year-old child and his biological mother, the People's Daily Online reports.


The boy, who remains unidentified, was seen running to his adopted mother's arms and telling her that he had missed her.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/03/14/10/322D575A00000578-3491130-image-a-1_1457950534473.jpg
Reunited: The boy runs to welcome his adoptive mother who was jailed for six months after she beat him

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/03/14/10/322D576200000578-3491130-image-m-5_1457950938572.jpg
Back together: The family weep together while the boy's biological mother apologises for her incarceration

The boy had been adopted by the 48-year-old from his parents in a remote village in Anhui province so that he could get a better education in the city.

His biological mother and his adoptive mother, Li Zhengqin, are cousins.

Li, who is a former journalist, was sentenced to six months in prison for brutally beating the boy with a skipping rope.

She had claimed that she was trying to teach the boy a lesson for not studying hard.

Although she says she did not beat the boy violently, her son sustained 150 wounds over his body as a result of lying about his academic grading and not finishing his homework.

The woman was sentenced to six months in prison in November at a court in Nanjing City.

During the trial she said that she was trying to deter him from lying and did not beat him hard.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/03/14/09/322C2DD500000578-3491130-image-m-2_1457947708937.jpg
Cruel woman: The boy's adoptive mother admitted in court to beating him but said she didn't do it that hard

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/03/14/09/322C2DCF00000578-3491130-image-m-6_1457947750278.jpg
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/03/14/09/322C2DE500000578-3491130-image-a-7_1457947764211.jpg
According to Li, she beat the boy after he lied about his academic grading and didn't do his homework

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/03/14/10/322D574500000578-3491130-image-a-3_1457950570433.jpg
Free: The boy went to live with his biological mother while his adoptive mother served her prison sentence

On the day of Li's release, the boy's biological mother was crying as she met Li at the prison gates in east China's Jiangsu province, apologising for what she had suffered during her incarceration.

However, the biological mother did not explain what she felt sorry for.

Li's adopted son said he missed her. He said that he had trouble finishing his homework after Li was imprisoned as she helped him understand.

After Li Zhengqin was arrested, Xiaohu moved back to live with his biological parents.

His biological mother is illiterate and he says that she cannot help him with his homework.

The child told reporters from Jinghua Online: 'I lied and my mother did not want me to do that.

'I don't hate her. She was doing all that for my own good.'

Even his biological mother urged the authorities to drop all criminal charges against her cousin.

The case is one of the first recorded of an adult being charged with assaulting a child, which has been accepted as normal in China for generations.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/03/14/10/322C2DC300000578-3491130-image-a-4_1457950602757.jpg
In court: Li says she had good intentions when she beat her adopted son for not completing his homework

Those are some serious jump rope (http://www.martialartsmart.com/training-equipment-weights-jump-ropes.html) welts...And of course, the kid is going to run to her, else he get another lickin' :mad:

[GeneChing]

Population pressures are their own one-child policy.


China drops one-child policy, but ‘exhausted’ tiger moms say one is plenty (https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/china-drops-one-child-policy-but-exhausted-tiger-moms-say-one-is-plenty/2016/10/14/336f1890-8ae7-11e6-8a68-b4ce96c78e04_story.html)

https://img.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_1484w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2016/10/07/Foreign/Images/Babydadmother14757071511475798830.jpg?uuid=K88EJIw iEeaM3E-7GXO1Bg
Han Jing and her husband, Zhang Pengzhi, hold their son, Zhang Zichen. (Family photo)

By Simon Denyer and Congcong Zhang October 16

BEIJING — Han Jing’s son started taking after-school classes when he was just 5 years old: extra English, math and drawing so he wouldn’t fall behind the other children at kindergarten.

“I didn’t want him to feel ashamed or have low self-esteem on his first day of elementary school,” she said, worried that he’d face other children who spoke English, knew thousands of Chinese characters or could play the piano.

Three years later, the pressure has only mounted: She and her husband spend more than $10,000 a year on after-school classes. It’s a huge drain on their time, and an even bigger one on their resources, given that her husband earns less than $35,000 a year.

Their apartment is too small for a second child, and the cost of moving to a bigger one in Beijing has risen out of their reach. But it is not just money that is preventing them from having a second one: Han says they have also devoted all of their time and energy into their son, and they are simply exhausted.

“Seeing how much pressure my kid is under makes us feel bad, too, so I don’t want another kid of mine to go through this,” she said. “He’s so tired. We’re too tired. Whether it’s us or the child, I don’t think of any of us can handle another one.”

https://img.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_1024w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2016/10/13/Foreign/Images/AP_2261594812791476394331.jpg?uuid=govjTpGMEea8ABq XVtQRGw
A child walks near a sign that reads, "1.3 billion people united" on the streets of Beijing, China. (Ng Han Guan/AP)

For nearly seven decades, China’s Communist Party has been an invisible presence in every bedroom here. In 1949, Mao Zedong said having more people would make the country stronger. The party condemned birth control and outlawed the import of contraceptives. Millions of women followed the Great Helmsman’s advice, and the population doubled.

It wasn’t until after Mao died that the party reversed course, doing so dramatically and often brutally. The one-child policy introduced in 1979 led to untold millions of forced abortions, sterilizations and horrific abuses of power. Birthrates plummeted.

Now, the party is changing course again. China’s population is aging fast, and that’s a huge, looming burden on the economy. The one-child policy was relaxed in 2013 and abandoned at the beginning of this year. The party wants people to get busy again.

Provinces all across China have offered women longer maternity leave, often adding several months to the old standard 98 days. In villages, new slogans are being dreamed up by party committees and draped across buildings and walls.

“Train your body, build up strength, get ready for the second baby!” one slogan said, according to reports in an online forum. “Get to sleep early, stop playing cards, work hard to produce a child!” exhorted another.

“No fines, no arrests. Go ahead and have a second child if you want one!”

The problem is that many people don’t want a second child any more. Having only one has become ingrained in Chinese culture and society, and people no longer believe the party should be telling them what to do in the bedroom.

So when officials in the city of Yichang in Hubei province issued a public letter in September exhorting party members to “respond to the party’s call” and “fully implement the two-child policy,” there was outrage online.

“You can’t just make people have kids when you want them to, or stop when you tell them, we are humans not pigs!” one person posted.

Even the state-owned Global Times newspaper called the recommendations “ridiculous and illegal,” and the public letter has since disappeared from the website of the city’s health and family planning commission.

The government says the national birthrate rose by 6.9 percent in the first six months of this year compared with the same period last year, with 800,000 more births recorded.

State media even reported a “baby boom” in Beijing, with long lines forming at the capital’s top hospitals to reserve beds, and some maternity wards booked until next April.

But those reports were misleading, said Wang Feng, of the University of California at Irvine.

This year’s rise in childbirths is below the government’s target of 2.5 million extra births in 2016, he said, and still modest considering all the pent-up demand that the one-child policy should have created.

The lines at the capital’s top hospitals are a function of bottlenecks in China’s overstretched health system: Many of the women who have elected to give birth this year are older than average, and have been encouraged to head for Grade A hospitals in case of complications.

Indeed, when the one-child policy was first relaxed in 2013, allowing parents who grew up as only children to have a second child, just 18 percent of the 11 million eligible couples applied to do so, Wang said, a response he called “lukewarm.”

Mass migration to cities, where costs of living are high, has depressed birthrates, while people are getting married later, or not at all, Wang said.

“In the short run, hopefully China can add more people to its population, but in the long run it is very unlikely that fertility will go above 1.5 children per couple,” he said.

That’s a problem for China. The people born in Mao’s era are growing old, and there will be far fewer people of working age to bear the economic burden.

But Xi Wei, father of a 9-year-old boy, said that he and his wife won’t be trying for another child. Their son does extra classes after school and all day on Saturday, and parents and child all feel exhausted by the social pressure for him not to “fall behind.”

As only children themselves, Xi and his wife also don’t think there is anything wrong with growing up alone. “After all these years, everybody is inclined to just have one child. Everybody’s used to it,” he said. “How can you have a second child when the whole society has hostile and incompatible resources towards it?”

[wolfen]

Tyger Tyger Burning Bright
10069

Vanessa Mae's and her tiger mother Pamela Tan Nicholson



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2608598/My-mother-hit-kowtow-knees-Vanessa-Mae-reveals-strict-tiger-mother-slapped-face-improve-violin-playing.html
My mother hit me and made me kowtow to her... on my knees: Vanessa Mae reveals how her strict tiger mother slapped her face to improve her violin playing

Vanessa Mae reveals her mother Pamela Tan Nicholson slapped her during violin practice
Sacked her 'tiger mother' as manager 14 years ago and pair do not speak

Today Vanessa, now 35, admits for the first time that, when she was a child, her ‘tiger mother’ – far from simply being strict – used violence to discipline her.
Pamela would hit her, often around the face, and even made her ‘kowtow’ on bended knees while making her pull her ears and beg for forgiveness.

Her mother twice used the traditional Chinese custom of the ‘kowtow’ to humiliate her.
My trainer stopped hitting me when I was 15 after I hit him back and he started to cry
Traditionally, the kowtow – in which a person must kneel and prostrate themselves – was performed before the Emperor as a sign of respect.
Children were also required to perform it in front of their parents, especially at special occasions.
In extreme cases, it was used to apologize for wrongdoing, but is little used in modern-day China.
‘It’s a subservience thing, not forgetting who is boss,’ says Vanessa. ‘I was made to pull my ears at the same time.’
Vanessa was so tightly controlled by her mother that she was allowed to leave her house alone only when she turned 20.
‘I had faced thousands of people on stage and millions on TV, but I didn’t know how to cross the road,’ she says, laughing.

She says her mother would resort to slapping her if she did not play her instrument perfectly as a child
‘I’d never made my own bed, got my own breakfast, walked down the street alone or bought my own carton of milk.
Everything was geared towards focusing me on my violin career. You can look at it either as a spoilt existence or a trapped one.
‘Certainly, it was a regimented life, but I’m lucky to have had a childhood that was in many ways pretty spoilt – all I had to do was play the violin.’


10070

But if the young musician didn’t play a piece perfectly, her mother – and often her music teacher – would resort to slapping her.
‘Up until I was 20, if my mother was upset she’d be hitting away,’ she says matter-of-factly. ‘She’d hit me on the arms and the face. It was just her form of expression.
‘I was in Lyon once and my mother and music trainer were both upset with me because of some playing issue.

They both hit me at the same time then said, “Stay here, we’re going out. And by the way, load the dish washer.” Maybe I wasn’t thinking about my career enough.

‘My trainer stopped hitting me when I was 15, after I hit him back and he started to cry.






http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1042593/The-heart-breaking-moment-I-realised-mother-cut-forever-violin-virtuoso-Vanessa-Mae.html

The heart-breaking moment I realized my mother had cut me off forever, by violin virtuoso Vanessa-Mae

10072

Vanessa Mae has revealed how she was forced to 'kowtow' to her mother, pull her own ears and beg for forgiveness when being disciplined as a child
"In April 2006, Vanessa-Mae was ranked as the wealthiest young entertainer under 30 in the UK in the Sunday Times Rich List 2006, having an estimated fortune of about £32 million"
Her mother, she says, used to tell her: 'I love you because you are my daughter, but you'll never be special to me unless you play the violin.'
Today Vanessa says: 'Reading that e-mail from my mother, I just felt numb. I guess it confirms something I've secretly believed for many years now: just being my mother is simply not enough for her.'

Vanessa says her mother didn't believe she should have a life outside music.

Born in Singapore, Vanessa moved to London at the age of three and her mother began marshalling her daughter's musical talents from the moment they arrived in Britain.

At the age of eight, Vanessa was taken out of school for half of each day to concentrate on her violin. By the age of 11, she was admitted to the Royal College Of Music, where she was seven years younger than most of her peers.
vanessa and violin

Vanessa was the youngest soloist ever to record Beethoven and Tchaikovsky's demanding violin concertos when she was just 13
Pamela managed everything from her bank accounts to choosing her clothes, make-up and, inevitably, that provocative cover of her first single. Vanessa wasn't even allowed to slice bread in case she cut her hand.
She was forced to drop every one of her school friends because they were considered a distraction. Stardom beckoned and the millions rolled in.

But just before her 21st birthday Vanessa finally snapped.
Sick of her mother's domineering influence, she fired her as her manager, desperately hoping they could have a normal mother/daughter relationship.

It was not to be. They severed all normal contact and studiously avoided each other at family occasions.

When Vanessa tried to re-establish their relationship by involving Pamela in the BBC1 documentary, she had hoped that by inviting her mother to help explore the root of her talent, she would discover whether she was born with her musical ability, or whether it was cultivated by her mother's determination for her to succeed.

But Pamela was having none of it - as the terse e-mail the team behind the science programme The Making Of Me (shown last night) received in response showed only too clearly.

'My mother is, and always has been, an extremely driven person and has an unquenchable thirst for success, and that is something that can be very difficult to understand when you are a child or a teenager,' says Vanessa.

'Doing the documentary was very cathartic. In my case it is a matter of both nature and nurture which has helped me achieve what I have, and whatever way you look at it, my mother is a big part of that.'

Whether it is her approaching 30th birthday or the fact that she has for the past nine years been happily settled with her French boyfriend Lionel Catelan, 38, a wine dealer,

10073

Vanessa says her thoughts have inevitably turned to becoming a mother herself.
Today Vanessa says had she not been so strong, she'd have been destroyed by her mother's behaviour
But she confesses: 'I am petrified of having children of my own because I know that whatever you say or do to a child affects them deeply.

'Once, as a teenager, I remember being sick before a show - I think I had some kind of bug - and the look my mother gave me because I couldn't give 100 per cent was chilling.
'She'd tell me I'd only get a good husband if I was successful, and she condoned the fact that my music tutors would slap me across the face if I wasn't putting everything I had into my playing.'

Every pastime was questioned by her mother.
'She wanted me to give up skiing, which I'm passionate about, because she thought it was too dangerous for my career.'

Vanessa seems determined not to repeat her mother's mistakes and has particularly strong views on parenting.
'I believe that when you have children there's a certain point when you have to let go and stop pushing. I hope and pray that if I have children of my own I will know when that point is.'






Wikipedia:

Vanessa-Mae has expressed a lack of interest in marriage, saying "you don't need a ring to say I love you".

No children, no marriage, she appears to have been somewhat damaged and has had an uneven musical career despite the spectacular success she started off with. It's a 'mystery solved" for me, I'm a big fan, I was wondering for years "Where is the next album? What happened? etc.

Yu Jim-Yuen and the China Drama Academy


10071

Yu Jim-yuen (September 5, 1905 – September 8, 1997) was the master of the China Drama Academy, one of the main Peking Opera Schools in Hong Kong from which Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Yuen Qiu, Yuen Wah, and Corey Yuen received their training. He was also the father of early wuxia actress Yu So Chow, who appeared in more than 150 movies


Practice at the Peking Opera School was very strict. The students signed into contracts that would allow the instructors to punish them up until death. Training would take place up to 18 hours a day and included stretching, weapons training, acrobatics, martial arts and acting. In an interview in 2008, Jackie Chan described the experience:

"It was really arduous, we hardly had enough to eat, enough clothes to keep warm, training was extremely tiring, and Master could cane us anytime!"
(Wikipedia)


However:


Hung retorted:

"...at that time, majority of the people in Hong Kong were poor. It was equally gruelling whichever profession you were in. We were considered fortunate. Our Master was an exceptional person, and he adopted Jackie Chan as his son, and doted on him the most. [..] Our Master took in many disciples, but he didn't take a single cent from us, and even slept on the floor together with us."

A different story most or all of his progeny have had had professional lives and normal or successful personal lives.

[-N-]

Population pressures are their own one-child policy.



BEIJING — Han Jing’s son started taking after-school classes when he was just 5 years old: extra English, math and drawing so he wouldn’t fall behind the other children at kindergarten.


Not until 5 years old?

Slacker :rolleyes:

[GeneChing]

Why China’s Tiger Mums (and dads) are resisting its ‘less homework’ policy (http://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2138670/why-chinas-tiger-mums-and-dads-and-resisting-its-less-homework)
Authorities say youngsters are weighed down through excessive homework and extra classes amid intense competition among parents to help their children ‘get ahead’
PUBLISHED : Saturday, 24 March, 2018, 11:45am
UPDATED : Saturday, 24 March, 2018, 11:28pm
Alice Yan
https://twitter.com/TingYanalice

“Dear Ministry of Education, please don’t reduce the schoolwork burden on our children.”

This is the title of an article that has been widely shared on Chinese social media in recent weeks after education authorities instructed primary and middle schools across the nation to reduce the pressure on pupils and regulate the out-of-school-hours tutoring market.

Since the order was issued late last month, parents in big cities have been discussing heatedly whether to let their children have a more relaxed and happy lifestyle as the education authorities advise, or give them large amounts of homework and send them to extra classes in their spare time to learn subjects such as English, mathematics and Chinese language.

In line with the authorities’ order, in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province, many junior high school headmasters have proposed that pupils should not have to complete their homework if they cannot finish it by 10pm.

Neighbouring Jiangsu province has also adjusted school start times for pupils, allowing youngsters to begin classes from 7.20 to 8am. Previously, school could start as early as 7am, Xinhua reported.

https://cdn1.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/images/methode/2018/03/24/cb98c640-2e54-11e8-aca1-e0fd24c4b573_1320x770_173427.jpg
Children at a school in Zhejiang province read the country’s revised constitution earlier this month after a meeting of the national legislature. Photo: EPA-EFE

But China’s Tiger Mums and Dads believe the move to lessen the schoolwork burden on their children is a bad idea.

“Deep down inside, I really want my son to have more time to play, too, but I have to remind myself to be rational,” said Qian Min, the father of a primary school pupil in Shanghai’s Xuhui district.

“To qualify for admission into a key junior middle school, he has to study hard now. Only by entering a key junior middle school can you go on to study at a key high school. Then you can go to university. There’s no other option,” he said.

His son studies at a state school, but over the past two years has also attended four classes in his spare time – two for maths, one for English and one for writing Chinese compositions. The boy’s eyesight has deteriorated due to his heavy homework and he admits he has little time for his main hobby – reading books.

“Those extracurricular classes and homework are boring. However, I must be persistent for the sake of a bright future,” the boy said.

Mainland Chinese primary and middle school pupils spend an average of 2.82 hours doing their homework each day, about three times the global average, Wang Guoqing, a spokesman for the political advisory body the Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference, said earlier this month.

A study by the OECD in 2012 found 15-year-olds in Shanghai spent an average of 13.8 hours every week on their homework, longer than all other countries and regions surveyed.

Russian children followed with 9.7 hours and Singapore youngsters clocked an average of 9.4 hours. Pupils of the same age in the US spent 6.1 hours a week doing their homework, while Hong Kong students recorded six hours, according to the study.

However, OECD global education rankings suggest many countries and cities with a lower burden of homework consistently surpass or perform just as well as China.

Canadian pupils, for example, spent an average 5.5 hours on their homework, the survey said.

In the OECD’s Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) survey in 2015, Canada was ranked seventh among 69 countries and regions in science, 10th in mathematics and 2nd in reading. Pupils from Beijing, Shanghai, Guangdong and Jiangsu in China ranked 10th in science, 6th in maths and 27th in reading.

https://cdn2.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/images/methode/2018/03/24/fcd36606-2e55-11e8-aca1-e0fd24c4b573_1320x770_173427.JPG
Youngsters do their homework in class at a school for migrant workers’ children in Beijing. Photo: Simon Song

Fan Xianzuo, an education professor at Central China Normal University in Wuhan in Hubei province, said the authorities have been discussing reducing the burden on pupils for more than two decades, but ironically their workload has actually increased over the years.

“As long as the university entrance exam is the only way for students to get admitted, parents will force their kids to put all efforts into studying,” said Fan.

Strong demand from parents has boosted the market for after-school tutoring in China.

But many tutors merely focus on teaching pupils how to perform well in exams, rather than aiding the wider educational development of the child, according to a circular issued by the education ministry along with three other central government departments at the end of February.

“They have brought additional heavy homework for pupils and have increased financial burdens on families. There is a strong public outcry [against these institutions],”the circular said.

Reducing the workload on children was also a catchword at the meetings of the national legislature in Beijing earlier this month, with many delegates calling for reduced homework for young students.

One area the authorities have pledged to crack down on is tutors teaching children topics way too advanced for their years and holding competitions on academic subjects.

Many primary school pupils taking extracurricular classes are taught subjects aimed at older-grade students. Academic competitions are valued by parents in big cities as children performing well are rated highly by top middle schools, many of them privately-run, when selecting students.

Education professor Fan said making real efforts to raise standards at all state primary and junior middle schools would lessen the need for cutthroat competition to get into academically higher achieving schools.

If all schools have a high teaching standard, young pupils will not need to compete for a place in key middle schools at a young age, said Fan.

Zhang Duanhong, an academic at Tongji University’s Higher Education Research Institute, agreed, adding that overloading children with extra homework was not the answer to raise standards.

“Parents think if their children learn less at school, they must learn more out of school so they can catch up with their counterparts in other schools,” said Zhang. “If more parents hold this unreasonable belief, it’s more difficult to reduce the burden on children.”

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as: Parents resist less-homework policy

While there are some lessons in overloading students, it's more about quality than quantity. That's my take as a parent. But maybe I'm a Cat Dad.

[GeneChing]

They have tigers in India too.


TIGER MOMS? PARENTS FROM EMERGING ECONOMIES SPEND MORE TIME ON HOMEWORK WITH THEIR KIDS, STUDY FINDS (http://www.newsweek.com/parents-emerging-economies-spend-more-time-homework-their-931748)
BY CRISTINA MAZA ON 5/17/18 AT 1:59 PM

Parents from countries like India, Turkey, and Singapore spend significantly more time helping their children with homework than their counterparts in countries like Japan, the United Kingdom, or France, according to a survey published by the World Economic Forum.

According to the data, parents in India spend around 12 hours sitting with their children and helping them with homework every week. On the other extreme, parents in Japan spend just 2.6 hours helping their kids. The United States falls in the middle; parents there spend an average of around 6 hours with their children doing homework every week. That is just a little under the global average of 7 hours per week.

The survey was conducted by the Varkey Foundation, which interviewed around 27,500 parents in 29 countries. The data does not describe what impact these hours have on educational outcomes, or whether mothers and fathers spend an equal amount of time with their kids on homework. But it does seem to suggest that parents from emerging economies are the most involved in their children’s education. According to the survey, parents in middle-income countries where the economy is rapidly developing are more likely to spend a higher number of hours with their kids on homework.

https://infographic.statista.com/normal/chartoftheday_13838_where_parents_help_their_kids_ with_homework_n.jpg
Infographic: Where Parents Help Their Kids With Homework | Statista You will find more infographics at Statista

India exceeded all of the other countries with its 12 average hours per week. But Turkey, Singapore and Brazil all followed closely behind, spending between 7.5 to 8.7 hours every week on homework. Parents in wealthy countries like France, Japan and Australia, on the contrary, spend significantly less time helping their children with homework.

Some analysts suggest that parents spend a higher number of hours working on homework with their children if they have less faith in their country’s educational system. India, as one of the world’s most populous countries, has a large education system that offers both private and public schools. A 2014 study from the British Council claims that India has one of the world’s most complex education systems in the world, with 1.4 million schools and around 230 million enrollments each year. But the country spends a lower percentage of GDP on schools than comparable developing countries, the Economist reported last year, and while enrolment has improved, the level of teaching—and learning—has not.

That's where the Tiger Moms come in.

[Jimbo]

I'm not surprised at India. I see a lot more highly-educated, high-income East Indians in the States than any other Asian ethnic group, and they even seem to have surpassed immigrants from China in that regard. They're also the most prominent and accepted Asian ethnicity in Hollywood.

As far as over-emphasis on homework by Asian (particularly among Chinese and Korean) families, IMO it doesn't make them any smarter than anyone else. It's just rote memorization for exams. Oftentimes, people who grew up with far less homework, regimentation and stress actually end up with greater all-around life knowledge, and end up at least as successful and happy in life, if not more so.

[GeneChing]

I've just created a new thread dedicated to Vicky Zhao Wei (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?71084-Vicky-Zhao-Wei) by poaching the posts above from the Tiger Mothers and FOB Moms (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?59579-Tiger-Mothers-and-FOB-Moms) thread. There are surely other mentions of her on this forum, but I'm not going to link those up right now. I'm also copying this to the Chinese Tycoons, CEOs & Tuhao (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?69088-Chinese-Tycoons-CEOs-amp-Tuhao) thread.

Man, China is going after its starlets. First Fan Bingbing (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?70896-Where-in-the-world-is-Fan-Bingbing), now Vicky.


NOVEMBER 20, 2018 / 6:47 AM / UPDATED 6 HOURS AGO
China bars actress Zhao Wei from holding key positions in companies for five years
3 MIN READ

HONG KONG (Reuters) - Billionaire Chinese actress Zhao Wei and her husband have been barred from taking on key positions at listed companies for five years for violating securities regulations, the Shanghai Stock Exchange said on Tuesday.

http://s1.reutersmedia.net/resources/r/?m=02&d=20181120&t=2&i=1327054301&r=LYNXNPEEAJ120&w=1200
Actress Zhao Wei, member of Venezia 73 International Jury, poses for photographers during a photocall at the 73rd Venice Film Festival in Venice, Italy August 31, 2016. REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi

The exchange’s announcement comes more than a month after another Chinese actress Fan Bingbing came under fire for failing to pay millions of dollars in taxes and fines.

On Tuesday, the exchange said Zhao and her husband Huang Youlong, as well as several other former executives of Tibet Longwei Culture Media and Zhejiang Sunriver Culture Co Ltd, were unfit to be directors, supervisors and senior executives of listed companies.

They will not be allowed to assume these positions for five years, the exchange said.

Zhejiang Sunriver, Tibet Longwei, Zhao and Huang were all not immediately available for comment.

In late 2016, Tibet Longwei, controlled by Zhao and Huang, made a failed attempt to buy a 29.1 percent stake in Zhejiang Wanjia, which was later taken over by another investor and renamed Zhejiang Sunriver Culture.

Longwei’s bid had then drawn the scrutiny of the China Securities Regulatory Commission regarding information disclosure and its ability in financing takeovers as there were misleading statements and major omissions in the filings.

U.S.-China rift divides Asian summit
In November 2017, China’s securities regulator fined and barred Zhao, who became a household name in China for starring in popular TV dramas, and Huang from trading in the mainland stock market for five years due to the takeover case.

“Due to the celebrity effect, Tibet Longwei has severely misled the market and its investors. This has seriously disrupted normal market operations and order,” the exchange said on Tuesday.

Zhao and Fan’s cases have prompted the Chinese government to crack down on celebrity hype.

In November, state media quoted the National Radio and Television Administration as saying that Chinese broadcasters and online entertainment sites should avoid celebrity hype and crack down on fake audience and click-through rates.

Reporting by Twinnie Siu in Hong Kong and Lee Chyen Yee in Singapore; editing by Louise Heavens

[GeneChing]

Tiger mothers, stressed kids and Asia schooling focus of new photo and video show (https://www.scmp.com/lifestyle/family-relationships/article/2175824/tiger-mothers-stressed-kids-and-asia-schooling-focus?utm_source=googlenewsstand_web&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=20181203&utm_campaign=off_platform)
Photographer Saskia Wesseling wants her art to make people realise the damage that piling academic pressure on children can do
Her exhibition is on show in Shenzhen until December 9
PUBLISHED : Saturday, 01 December, 2018, 6:02pm
UPDATED : Saturday, 01 December, 2018, 6:02pm
Kylie Knott
kylie.knott@scmp.com

https://cdn4.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/styles/980x551/public/images/methode/2018/11/30/41cb757e-f3d0-11e8-bbe8-afaa0960a632_1280x720_170520.jpg?itok=AKvZ9cyd

Hong Kong-based Dutch photographer Saskia Wesseling is on a mission to tame the tiger mum.

A mother of two girls – Philine, 11 and June, 9 – Wesseling says she was feeling pressured into becoming a tiger mum herself and wanted to use her art to make people reconsider the roles of schooling in society.

Why self-control is key to preventing youth suicide, experts say
“I felt trapped,” she says. “My concern is that by the time kids finish university they are exhausted and have lost all the passion and drive that you should have when you leave school and enter the workforce. We are just making anonymous children who are no longer individuals.”

With mentoring from Taiwanese photographer Chien-Chi Chang, Wesseling created a multimedia exhibition with video and photography.

Many of the images show children with books over their faces. “This was to show that it was not their choice, that the books were pushed into their face.”

https://cdn4.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/images/methode/2018/11/30/f5530c92-f443-11e8-bbe8-afaa0960a632_972x_170520.jpghttps://cdn4.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/images/methode/2018/11/30/f5530c92-f443-11e8-bbe8-afaa0960a632_972x_170520.jpghttps://cdn2.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/images/methode/2018/11/30/abb67b68-f43f-11e8-bbe8-afaa0960a632_615x_170520.jpg

Her work is on show in Shenzhen as part of the International Urban Image Festival that runs until December 9. It will then travel to Amsterdam for This Art Fair from December 27 to 30.

The term “tiger mum” – a mother who pressures her children to attain high levels of academic achievement – was coined by Yale law professor Amy Chua in her 2011 memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.

Wesseling says the statistics regarding Hong Kong children are “terrifying”.

“Some children in primary schools in Hong Kong are given less outdoor time for exercise then prisoners. Fifty per cent of secondary schoolchildren show signs of depression. The school systems in Asia have been consistently referred to as a pressure cooker,” she says.

“Living with school-aged children in Hong Kong, it is impossible not to be emotionally affected by the stories of suicides in schools.”

https://cdn4.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/images/methode/2018/11/30/03424904-f3d0-11e8-bbe8-afaa0960a632_972x_170520.jpghttps://cdn4.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/images/methode/2018/11/30/1672e3a0-f450-11e8-bbe8-afaa0960a632_972x_170520.jpg

A recent study by the Hong Kong Jockey Club found that an increasing number of Hong Kong students are committing suicide.

Some 75 Hongkongers aged between 15 and 24 killed themselves in 2016, of which 29 were in full-time education, according to the Hong Kong Jockey Club Centre for Suicide Research and Prevention.

The US is ahead of PRC for suicide rates right now. According to wiki (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_suicide_rate), US is #34 and PRC is #103. :eek: That's overall, mind you, not just students.

[GeneChing]

NOVEMBER 8, 2019 2:41AM PT
New U.S.-China Co-Production ‘Tiger Mom’ Stars Zhang Jingchu (https://variety.com/2019/film/news/us-china-co-production-tiger-mom-shaun-redick-shawn-chou-1203397642/)
By REBECCA DAVIS

https://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/zhang-jingchyu.jpg?w=900&h=563&crop=1
CREDIT: ZHANG JINGCHU

Impossible Dream Entertainment and sales firm The Exchange have introduced “Tiger Mom,” a U.S.-China co-produced comedy, at the American Film Market. On the China side, backers include Huacheng Film, TV and Digital Program Company, a subsidiary of Chinese state broadcaster CCTV6, and Beijing Origin Pictures.

The film will star Zhang Jingchu (“Rush Hour 3,” “Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation,” “Project Gutenberg”) as a first-generation Chinese-American mother who, unable to control her teenage children, enrolls them in a prestigious disciplinary school called Tiger Academy, which is capable of whipping them into Ivy League shape. The school is run by a woman played by Michelle Krusiec (“Saving Face”), and Lisa Lu (“Crazy Rich Asians,” “The Joy Luck Club”) will also star as the children’s grandmother. Other casting decisions are still in the works.

The film, currently in pre-production, will be directed by Shawn Chou, who is co-writing with Neil Garguilo. Chou, Stefanie Huang, Shaun Redick and his partner, Yvette Yates Redick, are producing. Liu Changjiang, Samuel Park and Justin Ware will be executive producers.

“Tiger moms are fierce yet successful, and they demand perfection from their children. This combination can be dramatic and also at times hilarious,” Chou said. “I know this world inside and out because I’m the son of Chinese immigrants, and me and most of my Asian American friends grew up with tiger moms.”

Impossible Dream Entertainment has developed and produced films such as “Get Out” and “BlacKkKlansman.” Its founder, Redick, said that the new movie will be “a fun comedy with a great message that kids and parents will enjoy together in the U.S., China and the world.”

Producer Huang said that the production team includes “people from both the U.S. and China, collaborating closely.” She added: “We believe ‘Tiger Mom’s’ story is universal.”

The Exchange is representing all international rights, including China, but holds North America rights jointly with Impossible Dream. Hillel Elkins of Sklar Kirsh will handle the production’s business and legal affairs. Zhang Jingchu was represented in the deal by ICM Partners and Echelon Talent Management, Lu by the latter, and Krusiec by Global Artists Agency and Thruline Entertainment.

THREADS
Tiger Mothers and FOB Moms (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?59579-Tiger-Mothers-and-FOB-Moms)
Tiger Mom (http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?71586-Tiger-Mom)

[GeneChing]

Meet China’s ‘chicken parents,’ a new cult of tiger moms on steroids (https://nextshark.com/chicken-parents-new-tiger-moms/)
Carl Samson
7 hours agohttps://nextshark.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/chicken-parents-1.jpg
A new parenting culture in China that draws its name from a pseudo-medical treatment in the 1960s, in which people were injected with fresh chicken blood to stimulate energy, has taken “tiger parenting” to a whole new level.

“Jīwá” (“chicken baby”) parents, who start their day thinking about the advancement of their children, are fueling the country’s $120 billion private after-school tutoring industry, which some experts project to hit $155 billion by 2025, according to Reuters.

In June, China’s Ministry of Education created a new department to regulate the industry, hoping to ease students’ academic burden. This new agency, known as the Department of Off-Campus Education Administration, is responsible for enforcing policies on content, hours, teaching qualifications and the fees of tutoring schools, which run their programs in-person, online or both.

This unprecedented crackdown on cram schools follows China’s announcement of its new three-child policy, a response to the nation’s falling birth rates. In 2020, Chinese mothers gave birth to just 12 million babies, an 18% decline from 14.65 million in 2019. This is the fourth consecutive drop in annual birth rates, according to the South China Morning Post.

Authorities fear that jīwá culture discourages couples from having more children. Since raising one child can already be costly, having a third could be financially crippling. Additionally, parents must take into account the physical, mental and emotional stresses that come with having larger families.

Despite these struggles, jīwá parents — who mostly live in larger cities where most elite schools and universities are based — soldier through. And with the government intervening with regulatory policies, they have only become more rigorous in finding ways to ensure that their kids can keep up.

“Because of these policies, parents are even more convinced of the potential [risk] for social immobility,” Rainy Li, a jīwá parent to two daughters in Beijing, told NPR. “They are more eager than ever to propel their kids into elite circles and more willing than ever to cut back on their own spending in order to invest in their children.”

In 2017, families in urban areas like Beijing spent up to 42.2% of their income on private after-school tutoring, according to Xinhua. There is no available data showing just how wealthy jīwá parents are, but it’s safe to say that some spend more than others. There are parents who purchase second homes in certain school districts just to get their children closer to a top education. Still, many come from humble backgrounds and only want to give their kids a good head start in life, NPR noted.

Whether Chinese kids appreciate their parents’ sacrifices or not is an entirely different story. With so much work to do, many are simply exhausted starting from their preschool days. Kelly Zhou, who heads a private international kindergarten in Shanghai, once called a 4-year-old student’s mother after the child said she had “forgotten how to smile.”

“I’m able to offer my kid everything,” the mother told Kelly Zhou, according to RADII. “And she’s able to manage all that.”

The 4-year-old girl reportedly met a private English tutor every Friday, on top of “other academic-related sessions.” Over the weekend, she attended ballet, piano, painting, math and sports lessons. When Kelly Zhou asked what made her life the happiest, she replied: “I’m never happy. I’m tired every day.”

Another jīwá mother shared her fifth-grade son’s schedule (via SupChina):

8:30 – 9:50 a.m.: Reading

9:50 – 10:30: Gaming (for socializing with peers)

10:30: Eye exercise

11:00: Lunch while listening to audiobooks

1:00 – 4:00 p.m.: Math Olympiad practice

4:00 – 5:30: Biking outdoors

5:30: Dinner

5:50 – 8:30: English lessons online

8:30 – 9:00: Snack break

9:00 – 10:00: Homework

10:00: Bedtime

At first glance, the schedule may look “light” to other jīwá parents, but it is actually the child’s timetable for Saturdays.

What sets jīwá culture apart from the more universal “tiger parenting” is its uniquely Chinese origin. While some may individually claim to be “tiger moms” or “tiger dads,” jīwá parents identify with each others’ frenzy in dedicated online community groups.

“The term ‘jīwá’ is common on online parenting chat groups, from kindergarten to high school,” Zhou Ying, whose son entered primary school last year, told Shanghai Daily’s SHINE. “To some parents, it’s never too early to cultivate jīwá.”

Zhou Ying said he first learned the term from colleagues. He then looked it up on WeChat and found hundreds of accounts dedicated to the culture.

The process was eye-opening. He recalled one mother who shared her 5-year-old’s daily schedule. “It felt like some kind of simulation game…you know, where you could cultivate a baby into a strong character,” Zhou Ying told SHINE.

Featured Image via CCTV / South China Morning Post (left), Getty (right)
Somehow Chicken Parents doesn't translate as well as Tiger Moms