Dads: The Original Hipsters

[MasterKiller]

http://dadsaretheoriginalhipster.tumblr.com/

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Your dad wore short shorts before you did and he has the upper thigh tan lines to prove it. It takes a certain kind of man to pull off wearing what most would consider lady attire, but your dad was that man. He walked around with the kind of confidence that said he could properly sex any women, mollywhop any man and escape any law. People today call it swag, but your dad didn’t need a name for it because he had it everyday.

So hipsters, next time you’re cutting a pair of ****ies off to mid thigh so that you can ride your fixie without catching your shorts on your knees, remember this…

If you live to be half the man that your dad was, you’ll still be a disappointment, but at least you’re trying not to suck… which is a start, because you suck right now.

[MasterKiller]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lji1quL4c41qghsqpo1_500.jpgYour dad rode a skateboard before you did and he has a picture in Thrasher to prove it. When your dad was younger, skateboarding was so underground that he had to build his own boards. The cops didn’t know what to do with this new **** kicking menace to the middle class, so they made skateboarding illegal. So hipster, next time you’re rolling down the bike lane of some hipster neighborhood in SF, Portland or New York, remember this…

Your dad was so ****ing gnar and awesome that the things he did for fun were made illegal in public places.

[MasterKiller]

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Your dad had big headphones before you did. Right now hipsters you’re probably readying this post with over sized headphones on, listening to a band you discovered on pitchfork, with your legs crossed, touching your face with your left hand, thinking about how douche bag skull candy ear buds are. There’s a reason your dad wore them, so he didn’t have to listen to you throw ****y fits and cry when you were a baby. The last thing he wanted to hear when Jimmy Page was thrashing through a solo was the gutteral, ear deafening screams that would make Beethoven thankful he was deaf.

So hipsters, next time you’re pulling on your headphones to listen to someone whine over bad guitar chords, remember this…

Your dad rocked big headphones because you were a *****, he’d still be wearing them too but thankful he lost his hearing from living life turned up to 11 and now he can just ignore you.

ps - it’s a good thing you’re reading these words and not listening to them hipsters, because I would be ear banging your ocular cavities with the furious words of your suckitude.

[wenshu]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmmYMwFj1I

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