Duty of Care

[Fish of Fury]

but please phrase your goktimus enquiries in the form of a question.
coherent sentences would also be appreciated.
it's also vitally important that we all take ourselves way too seriously.

ABandit
thanks again. i obviously have a northern goktimus.the give away was the Daewoo.it has been removed, though not without many cries of "oww, this is painful, stop it"
next time i guess i wont remove it through the throat, but i thought it best to follow the direction of the majority of traffic.
i guess also that a pile driver was not the gentlest of surgical tools, but...you live and learn.

i've noticed that my goktimus has a number of small parasites attached to it, especially in and around the tunnel to brown town.what are these?
are they likely to cause harm or are they just a piddling annoyance?

[Fish of Fury]

i'd love a durian.they truely are the king of fruit...
...much like goktimus really

[joedoe]

Those parasites are known by many names: mercilessfister, 5starpraying***got, calm**** amongst others. They really are only one kind of organism though, and they aren't dangerous, just messy. Much like a menstrual discharge.

Ignore them and they will go away and hide in a different hole.

[Muhammad]

Look MercilessF@G/KelvinChan/MotherRaper, stop assumin that everyone wants to shove durians up thier a$$ like u, we know u do here is proof

<img src = "http://www.geocities.com/goktimus/sweet.jpg">

no one can have a facial like that unless they have durians up their a$ kelvin.

Thanks for comin... try a better argument next time durian lover.

There is only one god and Muhammad is his prophet

[Fish of Fury]

should i give my goktimus star flower oil?
i had assumed it was just grumpy because of the durians.perhaps it is a hormonal problem.
how long does it take for them to get out of adolescence?
if it needs further intervention, how do you make a hormone?

[joedoe]

I would not recommend using star flower oil as it is mystical mumbo jumbo and would not agree too well with your goktimus. Instead, use something developed using modern scientific methods. I recommend vaseline taken orally - this can also act as a lubricant so your goktimus doesn't get chapped lips from fellating so many of his friends.

A goktimus sometimes never leaves adolescence as it is quite happy to amuse itself using its many personas. Don't worry, it is normal for a goktimus to behave in an immature manner and then criticise others for being immature. Some goktimi have been known to have lived a full lifespan without ever maturing.

As for how to make a hormone, the wonders of modern medical science has solved this problem and a wide range of hormones are available for use on your goktimus. No mystical mumbo jumbo involved. In fact, you can get hormones now to help avoid deep internal muscle bruising and STRAINED LIGAMENTS.

Because of the manufacturing process they can be rather expensive, so if you want a cheap alternative, just kick her in the c**t.

Hope this helps.

[Fish of Fury]

an ancient saying goes "a goktimus is like a durian, both are a fruit with little *****s"

i can see the relevance of this in relation to durian, covered in small spikes as they are, but when i examined my goktimus no *****s where in evidence.
is mine deformed in some way?
(it already has dropped pie syndrome.are these disorders related?)

[joedoe]

Ahhh. Looks like you have one of the new mutations of the goktimus. You are actually looking in the wrong place for his pr!ck

Now what you are mistaking for a dropped pie is actually his pr!ck.

What happened was that a genetic experiment being carried out on goktimi using modern scientific methods went horribly wrong because someone tried to mix in some mystic mumbo jumbo. As a result, not only did that branch of the goktimus species have a higher than normal number of hermaphrodites and ****sexual tendencies, but they gained another pr!ck.

In many ways this can be seen as an evolutionary step as it takes up less room on the body. Eventually, more and more body parts will migrate to the facial region to the point where the goktimus will be able to disappear up its own arse.

Hope this helps.

[Fish of Fury]

OMG
this is very concerning ABandit.although they can be quite annoying, i'd hate to lose my goktimus.if it dissappears up it's own dung funnel i'll be most distraught.

have any other genetic anomalies been observed in goktimi?

Look at all this mambo jumbo :f$ communicating amongst themselves are you all fighting amongst yourself to get a taste of our chum,dont fight, form a queue ,theres plenty to go around.

kelvein chan

[joedoe]

Yes, there are. There is disturbing tendency for goktimi to accuse others of doing exactly what they do to try and cast blame elsewhere. Very bad.

They are now also showing tendencies of casting their own behavioural traits on others i.e. eating their own dung.

Only particular breeds of the goktimi will disappear into their own brown town. Most goktimi actually live so long that most owner eventually have to put them down.

Never fear, modern science methods will find a way to fix the introduced genetic problem.

[Phreak]

A serious question for you Kelvin. I don't care who you are Goktimus, mercilessFighter, calmguru, wanker, whatever...
Why is it you can't spell your name properly ? I mean it is your own name for Christ's sakes Kelvein...


:rolleyes:

If its a silent ****, let there b more silence.

[joedoe]

I think that is because his language skills are a little muddled from the arse pounding he is enjoying while he types. Maybe he is copping it from a bishop so he enjoys it even more and makes even less sense than normal.

[Fish of Fury]

i pity those poor ignorant shaolin monks with no knowledge of modern scientific training methods.

all true modern masters incorporate the StairMaster 2000 into training.
it's much more effective than Southern Ab Rocker style, and and anyone who says different doesn't know nothin'

[joedoe]

Quick someone, more material. We can make it to page 20!

[joedoe]

Due to some strange mutations in the goktimus species, this addendum is required to help goktimus owners make an informed decision on how to handle the latest developments.

It has been noticed that due to the genetic experiments using modern scientific methods (not mystical mumbo jumbo), the goktimus is now exhibiting new strange behaviours.

The goktimus has been observed mouthing off at other animals and picking fights, then running away and hiding behind their owner. Many owners have been surprised to find various animals turning up at their door wanting to settle things with the goktimus in question.

Examples of some animals that have turned up on goktimus owner's doorsteps are geese, boristheblades, fierce tigers, and even fiercest tigers.

A visit by a rival animal often results in a severe mauling of the goktimus as the goktimi's defence of tossing sh!t at its opponent, and quoting points of law are no longer effective against the fury of the rival animal. The end result is a lot of dropped pies all over the premises.

I leave the decision as to what to do up to goktimus owners, but my advice is that you pack up house and move to another country. Even then there may be rival animals in other countries that want a piece of your goktimus.

[Fish of Fury]

thanks Abandit

i came home last night to find a fiercest tiger kicking the sh!t out of my goktimus.
i was quite pleased because if anything it has improved it's appearance.
what astonished me was just how full of **** my goktimus was, there was at least enough to fill three Daewoo's
there was also a few pies dropped during the struggle, but i have become accustomed to this.

do most goktimi contain this prodigious quantity of faeces?
would it have produced this crap itself, or could it be burguling turds from elsewhere?

[joedoe]

Actually, most goktimi are pretty full of faeces. A theory has been postualted by someone that the goktimus may actually be a descendant of the famous faeces elemental of Greek mythology. Mind you, that theory may have been postulated by some hippy sprouting some mystical mumbo jumbo.

It really is amazing how much faecal matter a goktimus can fit into that body. A goktimus often has a large distended body, but it is not widely known that they are full of sh!t until a fiercest tiger or an angry goose kicks it all out of them.

As for where it all comes from, largely the goktimus produces it by itself using the mitochondria in its cells during the simple process of Qi production. Quite often it will supplement itself with more faeces by sucking a fellow goktimus' arse. There are numerous web sites covering this topic, often referred to as scat sites.

The goktimus, as previously mentioned, often sticks its head up its own butt and during this time can often ingest quite a bit of its own faeces. Hence a goktimus can actually become a bit of a self-feeding ecology. This process is assisted if the goktimus has other symbiotic species to assist it. By sticking its head up the arse of, let's say, a mercilessfister or a bestarsestyle, and they in turn stick their head up the goktimus' arse or another sybiotic species' (like a calmarsehole) arse, then they can literally form a symbiotic circle.

Hope this helps.

[Demon]

we'll get to page 20 don't worry about that, this guy wont be able to stop writing as long as he is getting his a$$ pounded by that bishop, it should only affect his spelling.
but on a more serious note i done some research on the rare amozonian goktimus the statistics i found were realy remarkable, did you know: that the sydney goktimuses anus is up to three times bigger than the amozonian one, this is due to the abundance of water in the amozon. it's a known fact that the goktimuses of the world maintain a very low standard in personal hygeine until they come to a certain stage where it is comfortable to live in, this state of hygeine is known as the "dirty b@stard" stage if a goktimus gets to clean it could suffer from a very serious condition known as "goktimus hypercleanliness fellatious" when at this stage it will have to consume sh!t to survive, the sh!t cannot be realesed into the atmosphere however, it must be sucked by the goktimus from the anu$ of another creature or from its own anu$. As there is such an abundance of water in the amazon this condition is not uncommon, infact every time a goktimus falls in the water not only does it kill all the paranas within a 100m radius due to its foul hygeinic condition but it contracts this life threatening condition, even though its anu$ is three times smaller than the sydney goktimus, water penatrates easily and cleansise the anus. to know how big the anus of a sydney goktimus is compared to the amazonian one let me explain, many people beleive that you can park a daewoo in the anu$ of a sydney goktimus but in actual fact it can fit alot more, in fact it is not uncommon for your house hold goktimus to be able to fit a toyota torago in his anu$, so i'll leave the rest to you to estimate how big the amazonian goktimuses anu$ is. there is alot more to this story then what i have wrote here but i am an expert in goktimus of any sort so if you have any questions regarding how to care for you goktimus please dont hesitae to ask and have a nice day

"kill em all"

[joedoe]

Demon,

I must admit I am only expert on matters concerning the domesticated goktimus and have limited knowledge of the wild goktimus, in particular the Amazonian Goktimus.

Thank you for enlightening us on the differences.

I was wondering, does the Amazonian Goktimus also have a tendency to issue challenges to rival animals then run away, or is it a trait unique to the domesticated species that has undergone some genetic manipulation using modern scientific methods (not mystical mumbo jumbo).

Also, is the Amazonian Goktimus as prone to bruising and STRAINED LIGAMENTS as the domesticated variety?

[Fish of Fury]

it's truly wonderful to find a forum dedicated to the wonderful art of goktimus keeping. i never knew there where so many informed goktimus tamers in the world.

i'm a bit worried about flatulence in my goktimus.despite the complete lack of tone in the anal spincter, it does seem to build up gas, and i'm concerned that a sudden eruption may forcibly expel a Daewoo, causing damage to property for hundreds of metres, not to mention endangering lives.

how can i prevent a disaster?

[Demon]

the new genetically enhanced goktimuses are not the first type of species to issue challenges and try to run away, how do you think dinosaurs went extinct, you see it was a much hotter environment where and when the dinosaurs lived, more heat meant less water and more sweat thus it was much easier for a goktimus to maintain the dirty b@stard level of hygeine and also the population of goktimises at that time was about twice as much as the amount of dinosaurs, there for whenever a goktimus issued a challenge and tried to run away 96% of the time it would get eaten by the very angry dinosaur and because its at the dirty b@stard stage, the dinosaur would get food poisening and die, so you see the goktimuses that are made through modern scientific methods (not mystical mumbo jumbo) are simply continuing something istinctive this can also be aplied to todays situations such the endangered siberian/bengel tiger.

notice how both these tigers are instinctively feirce so they usually eat a goktimus that issues a challenge then end up dead in most cases it will threaten to sue the tiger before it eats it but finds out very quickly that the tiger doesn't give a sh!t.

to answer your your question of does the amazonian goktimus bruise as easily and suffer from STRAINED LIGAMENTS as often as the house hold goktimus ofcourse it does that is one the things that makes a goktimus a goktimus.

"kill em all"

[Budokan]

My wife and I were out last night spotlighting wild goktimi. It's pretty easy because when you hit 'em with the spotlight they think the cold light of day is upon them and they put their heads up their tails. Then you can shoot them rather easily.

Anyway, we were out in a field. The moon was up and the sky was full of stars. It was a beautiful night. We came upon a pod of goktimi cluster-fellating one another when my wife put the spot on them. I started shooting, but one shot went wild and I accidentally hit one of the goktimi in the head. Naturally, as there are no brains there, it lived and jumped me, trying to fellate me to the ground!

I have to admit I was a little surprised but my wife was thinking quickly and she immediately filed a law suit against the goktimus. I threw it to the ground where it landed on its forearms and cried piteously: "Oww, this is painful, stop it!"

It put the last shot into its a$$ where the tiny bit of brain matter is located and it died, but not without watching it try to fellate itself one last time.

I post this because I know a lot of people hunt wild goktimi and it is a pretty good sport. But they are not the same as the domesticated goktimi of which we are so familiar. Be careful out there! If I had been any more careless I could have come away from the whole episode with STRAINED LIGAMENTS. Fortunately, that didn't happen.

K. Mark Hoover

[fiercest tiger]

i heard he has a float for the mardi gras comng up this year. all turd float, the smell the BRUISED LIGIMENTS, the mumbo jumbo. this depends on the goktimus 2001 software it may not work as he is not used to straught people watching.

apparently he is giving away goktimus plants from the north as a poofter gift... what your backside guys he will try and **** you.

latest news flash! a goktimus was found on bondi beach thousands of people where rushed to hospital suffering all sorts os sh!t deseases.

HAVE YOU HEARD!!!!!!!

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

[joedoe]

Flatulence can be a problem with the goktimus despite the flaccid brown dot simply because the goktimus has special 'pockets' in the intestine to help store the flatulence. Hence the saying "as full of hot air as a goktimus".

The goktimus is well equipped to handle the flatulence as well as the Daewoo. With years of experience under its belt, the goktimus is expert in the anal arts. You have nothing to fear. Flying Daewoos will not be launched from your goktimus' arse. A goktimus will only launch a Daewoo if it is badly frightened by a fierce tiger or angry goose.

One word of caution though - do not smoke near your goktimus' arse as this can have explosive consequences. Actually, don't smoke near your goktimus full stop, just in case you have the wrong end (as you know, it can be difficult to tell which end is which).

[joedoe]

Firstly, love your work.

When you shoot wild goktimi, do you use low velocity, non-explosive rounds? It is important to do this because even though we all know that speed kills, you don't want an explosion occurring inside a goktimus as it can ignite one of the pockets of gas and cause an explosion, usually showering everything in sh!t for miles.

Also, it is good that you don't aim for the head because with its head up it's arse, you can also accidentally ignite a pocket of gas.

Keep up the good work.

[Demon]

ahh my friend have you noticed your goktimus is saying "oww, this is painful, stop it" alot lately, thats because it's mating season for goktimuses, thats its mating call and during this very magical time many strange phenominons take place.

for example did you know that goktimuses get impregnated through the mouth the reason for this is because it's other hole it's anu$ is to loose for there to be any friction for its partners organ, also you will find that all goktimuses are d!ckless so how do they mate?, there mating call atracts holy men such as preists and bishops, these men aproach the goktimus with mars bars then when the goktimus soves the mars bars up its a$$ the mate will begin thrusting in and out of his mouth until the goktimus raeches 0rgasm, this is when his head looks like a dropped pie, but then people are always telling me "Dr Demon my goktimuses head always looks like a dropped pie" the reason it's head looks like a dropped pie so often is because when a goktimus masterbates it actually thinks its a master at something, it masterbates buy throwing up sh!t and swollowing it again and repeats the cycle until it's head looks like a dropped pie.

but thats enough talk from me ill get to the point, now don't faint when i tell you this but congratulations your goktimus is pregnant that accumilation of gas is actually a fetus growing inside your goktimus. kinda brings a tear to your eye doesnt it

"kill em all"

[joedoe]

Yeah, heard about the goktimus float in the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras.

Apparently it was developed using modern scientific methods (no mystical mumbo jumbo, and definitely no dit da).

It is pushed from behind by several Daewoos, and it randomly drops pies on the road. If it sees any rival animal like a fierce tiger, angry goose, or even the family dog, it will automatically issue challenges then call its sifu for backup. All the while it will cry out "Owww, that hurts, stop it" and file law suits on every spectator.

Halfway through the parade, it will split off several other goktimus floats and just go wild. The various goktimus floats will then come together and form a symbiotic circle by shoving their heads up each other's arses.

The stunning finale is a rainbow of bruises followed by an explosive display of STRAINED LIGAMENTS.

[Fish of Fury]

do you use Goktimus traps, nets, whistles to attract goktimi? (the quickest way to attract one is to do kung fu. the goktimi is lured into the kwoon , where in a fit of excitement it will pretend to train.at the first contact it will immediately take it upon itself to threaten legal action, because the universal declaration of human rights demands that this is it's moral duty)

this unfortunate behaviour is one of the reasons they're almost extinct in the wild, coupled with the fact that their natural enemies (fiercest tigers, geese, biu ji's) have decimated the population.

whatever you do , DO NOT under any circumstances enter into a battle of wits with a goktimus, as the total lack of opposition can be quite off putting.

[joedoe]

Have either of you ever used a Daewoo as a tracker? I have found they are amazing at tracking down pods of goktimi.

You can use a pack of Daewoos to hunt and corner the goktimi, but you have to train the Daewoos to not dive into the garage-like chocolate sultana's of the goktimi.

To add a bit of a challenge, hunt them on horseback. Set the Daewoos off after the goktimi, then chase on horseback and once the goktimi are cornered, then the shooting begins.

[Fish of Fury]

i had often wondered how goktimi reproduce.(i had also wondered how we could stop this happening)the goktimus certainly brings atear to my eye, those gases can be quite overpowering.
is it possible to perform an abortion? (my current goktimus is a bit of an abortion anyway)

why is it that a goktimus' head looks like a dropped pie? is it to send it's natural enemy (the fiercest tiger) into fits of laughter, thus buying it time to throw off a quick law suit and run away.
i had heard that the rare Aquatic Goktipus floats near the ocean floor looking like a bucket of slops, in the hope of attracting other bottom dwellers with which it can mate.does the Sydney or Amazonian goktimus use similar behaviour?

thanks for your help

[Fish of Fury]

any large object that can be inserted into the ringhole (and for a goktimus this includes practically anything...Daewoo's, medium sized buildings, priests etc.) can be used in goktimus tracking.
however, i've learned the hard way that this can be risky as it reduces mobility.i was once almost trapped in a daewoo whilst hunting goktimi. as soon as the pod spotted the daewoo they charged and the vehicle was enveloped in a flurry of anuses. i barely made it out in time.

by all means use them as bait...but keep your distance (and a shotgun at the ready)

as budokan mentioned, don't underestimate wild goktimi. they are incapable of harming a grown man, but will attempt to fellate virtually anything

[Budokan]

I have always had a personal fondness for this sub-species, mainly because of the many misconceptions people have regarding it.

Firstly, the fact it lives in water leads many to believe that it is somewhat cleaner than the normal "land-bearing" goktimus. Would that it were true! Instead, they tend to swim only in stagnant cesspools, usually found in the vicinity of a trailer park or right outside a hog slaughterhouse.

Of course, it is the bladder systems of these creatures that allows them buouancy, but we are not talking air bladders here. Rather, their colon and lower intestines are hideously extended from immense pockets of trapped methane gas. This gas allows them a flight or fight response if they perceive they are in the vicinity of any non-scientific mumbo jumbo. Then can expell the gas, dilating their sphincters much like the throttle control on a jet, and power themselves away from danger, or towards other goktimi so that they might engage in cluster-fellating.

Of course, since they are then traveling a rate of approximately one mile per hour through the water, the buffeting on their forearms causes them to cry out: "Oww, this is painful, stop it!" and they may suffer severely STRAINED LIGAMENTS.

The goktimi tadpoles are especially cute when they hide up their parents' rectums. Unfortunately, they sometimes become stuck up there and then must file a lawsuit against said parents for failing in the Duty of Care.

All in all, a most interesting species.

K. Mark Hoover

[joedoe]

I generally don't drive the Daewoo myself. Usually the Daewoo will track on its own and I just follow it at a safe distance. When the pod is either cornered or starts fighting over which goktimus gets to put the Daewoo up its backdoor, then I open up.

For a bit of sport, don't use an automatic weapon. I actually try to test my skill by only using a .22 and carefully pick them off one by one, but I always keep a good sidearm handy.

You can always keep a fierce tiger on a leash to handle any nasty situations, but you have to be careful not to allow the fierce tiger to jump in and rip the goktimi new arseholes.

[Fish of Fury]

i can only imagine the hideous bruising that would result from moving through the water at such reckless speed.
water is obviously dangerous, nature has failed in it's duty of care.i'll file a law suit against it immediately (as soon as i get off my high horse), as is my moral obligation.

air can also be quite brutal, inflicting nasty bruises and STRAINED LIGAMENTS.
i tried to wrap my goktimus in cotton wool to shield it from reality, but it obtained severe internal injuries and rectal bleeding.it sued me of course, after calling in amnesty international and the UN.

[Fish of Fury]

yes, agreed. the last thing we need is MORE goktimus @rseholes.

[Fish of Fury]

20 pages.
truly we have spouted a veritable mountain of crap.
goktimus would be proud

[Budokan]

I'm a little teary-eyed to have been a small part of this absoultely useless and non-scientific mumbo jumbo.

K. Mark Hoover

[joedoe]

Another interesting phenomenon is that the similarity between the aquatic goktipus and raw sewerage has often prompted the EPA to issue health warnings on Sydney's beaches.

The brown slicks seen off Bondi and North head in Sydney are in fact often simply one or more goktipi carrying out a group-fellating.

As a defensive mechanism this is quite useful for the goktipus because nothing will want to go near it then.

[joedoe]

I am proud to have contributed to this useless drivel. I am starting to feel the spirit of goktimus sweel within me. Or maybe I am just constipated.

[Fish of Fury]

don't feel the effort was wasted Budokan

the threads these goktimi start serve to foster greater understanding amongst all people , and martial artists particularly.
how else would we know that northern arts are absolutely superior, for example.
it's our moral duty to take it all very seriously, froth at the mouth, and get really upset.
of course my opinion is worthless, and based on unscientific mumbo jumbo

[joedoe]

throw out empty challenges
act like a d!ckhead
fellate each other
speak/type incoherently

[Fish of Fury]

i'd like to translate my previous post for the goktimally challenged:

foiw fiwiddd vrekcps jf eekpsf @##!^%** ya mumma vcow wbumffr mens bvtplugg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[joedoe]

Oh really?

Well, my 5 star empty threat style will completely devastate you with a single strike because speed kills. You southerners are just all talk. Come to my school and I will kick you once then run away and cry "Owww, stop it, that hurts".

Goktimus translation:

asbgliuashglkjhdsfgkajlshgrt lazxlknf a;shdrf af;ashdflkjas kjashdf; a;ehf a;hfd;akjwht lfdhfjkhsa;fjh s laskhfd a;jshfl

[Demon]

****, you guys made it to page 20 while i was on my lunch brake, oh well theres always room for page 30 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you suck kelvin

"kill em all"

[joedoe]

I forgot to mention in my last post -

You southerners are all *****s. My devastating no skill kick will break your arms and give you STRAINED LIGAMENTS!! If you actually accept my challenge then I will get some sifu to fight for me instead. Let me introduce this sifu - he is the all time best fighter in the world. In fact he is the best fighter there ever was and ever will be. He fought off the Mongol hordes, as well as the Vikings and Romans with one hand while he was eating his lunch with the other hand.

But don't you southerners go and cheat now. No kwon dos or broad swords hidden to strike me while I stretch my imagination. You southerners wouldn't know how to hide a kwon do anyway, not like us northerners who have perfected the art of hiding the kwon do internally!

Just wait 10 minutes, and I will log in as someone else and repeat the above rant again.

[fiercest tiger]

do you guys work :)

you guys make me laugh soooooooo hard, i havent laughed like this since ahhhmmm yesterday.
...thanks for the laughs.


dont give up, hope!

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

[Shaolin Temple]

what do you call a goktimus abortion clinic?
crime stopper.

Amitabha...hopefully Buddha will bless his soul after termination.

Which Shaolin is authentic. North or South.
As Sifu would say...there is no permanence and there should not be any discrimination.
The point is therefore, who cares.
The more Shaolin there are, the better. Be civilized and chivalrous in your behaviour. As martial artists, we are supposed to not forget that we learn this art to help others and ourselves in times of need...not be a thug!!!
Amitabha.

[joedoe]

Don't say that, or I will attack you with my superior northern fellating style. One super fast blow job and you will be devastated. You limp southerner! Don't try and cheat! You know you want to do what I do and be a menstrual discharge. Allow me to introduce sifu some made up name. He is the best fighter in the whole universe. If he attacks you, you will get deep internal muscle bruising and STRAINED LIGAMENTS.

Don't deny it and try and back out with such sensible things as "you are an idiot" or that. You southerners always sprout something about buddha or something like that because you can't handle us all conquering northerners. Everyone knows that northern is best, just like blue is the best colour. You southerners - never won a fight in your life.

[Shaolin Temple]

better be careful Abandit, mantis boy might sue you for impersonating him.

I am lost trying to figure out all his personalities. There's someone called 5 star praying mantis stirring up trouble everywhere in almost every discussion group. I assume it is the famous split personality himself. If I referred him to my psychiatrist colleaque, he'll be rich charging insect boy for every personality individually.

I guess our Southern fist is no match against his long legs. Afterall, he might accidentally lift his leg and let out some smelly chi and this might immobilise me from using my strong fist. My biggest concern is I might give him the pleasure of fisting accidentally when he lifts his leg.

I must say, my disciple brothers and colleaque didn't eat dinner tonight after we saw his photo. The one with the kimono. That was disgusting. Was he posing as a gigolo or geisha? Whatever he was trying to do, ********************vomit*********

Which Shaolin is authentic. North or South.
As Sifu would say...there is no permanence and there should not be any discrimination.
The point is therefore, who cares.
The more Shaolin there are, the better. Be civilized and chivalrous in your behaviour. As martial artists, we are supposed to not forget that we learn this art to help others and ourselves in times of need...not be a thug!!!
Amitabha.

[joedoe]

If he does, I will use my superior northern law suit style on him. My devastating ability to quote the law will destroy him.

[Fish of Fury]

i think i see the source of the confusion. goktimus stared in a series of gay pornos
The goktagon: anal intruder
Fist of Fury
and Invincible Poo Puncher

this gives rise to the delusion that he is a martial artist

[joedoe]

I will use my superior northern fisting technique to anally intrude myself, hence proving my status as a martial artist. Not like you southerners. Go back to your rice paddies before I fist you.

[BIU JI]

thank you guys I haven't laughed so hard for ages, I was in danger of hyperventialting.
Though I beleive you've scared the goktimi off, perhaps its getting close to hybernating time of year where goktipi huddle in large groups with their up each others a**es.
Has anyone tracked them at this time of year?

[fiercest tiger]

im seriously looking at importing a goktimus from the north, what should i look for and what should i do if it grows and multiplies.


are they friendly or can they get violent?

i know that they can be haemaphrodits. where can i find one? :D

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

[BIU JI]

Thus the expression "GO GOKTIPI YOURSELF"

[fiercest tiger]

ENTER THE GOKTIPI CAGE!!

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

[joedoe]

Firstly, BJ:

It is actually hard to track a goktimus at this time of year because of the hibernating tendency, however a well trained Daewoo should be able to seek them out pretty easily. Refer to my previous postings on hunting wild goktimi as you should be on your guard and only track them on horseback or on foot if you are an experience goktimus hunter. As Fish of Death pointed out, never actually drive the Daewoo you are using to track them with.

FT:

If you import a northern goktimus, you should be wary of its no shadow kick. It is devastating and has killing speed. Also be aware that it comes from a long line of conquerers and so may have a lofty attitude.

Also, the northern goktimus has a larger than usual anal cavity and so may be prone to sucking in more than the occasional Daewoo. It is also sometimes hard to distinguish between the face of the northern goktimus and its anal cavity due to the prevalence of the 'dropped pie' gene.

As for breeding, the northern goktimus is quite happy to go f**k itself because, as you mentioned, the high incidence of hermaphrodites in the northern variety. Most people actually prefer the northern goktimus go f**k itself anyway.

As long as you humour the northern goktimus it can be very friendly. However if you oppose its point of view, then it can often get violent, splitting off multiple personalities and throwing out challenges all over the place. A shapr strike to the head often disabuses them of this behaviour.

Another behaviour you should be aware of is repeated taunting can cause the goktimus to froth at the mouth and lose its ability to communicate properly. This often leads to the goktimus poorly mimicking the taunter and generally looking like a fool.

Hope this helps.

[Fish of Fury]

yes , they're definitely hibernating. mine has climbed so far into it's own date it's practically dissappeared.

use caution if getting a northern goktimus, as they think they know everything and can be a real pain in the arse.

if they multiply,wait until the pod is cluster-fellating and seal them in an air tight daewoo, after a while they'll dissappear up each others freckles

now i have a question.
i've noticed my goktimus (now that it has grown in stature) is constantly nibbling on the door handles around the house.
is knob gobbling normal goktimus behaviour?

[joedoe]

Yes, knob gobbling is a normal behaviour of the modern goktimus. They will often gobble as many knobs as they can find, even without consent. There is a reason for this.

The original wild goktimus was a tree dwelling vegetarian (excluding the aquatic goktipus). Due to climactic changes several thousands of years ago, the goktimus found it was lacking protein in its diet. It found a natural source in semen/sperm.

Nowadays, the goktimus often doesn't need it, but it will gobble knobs as a matter of habit, almost a tradition you could say (though goktimi don't believe in tradition as it is mystical mumbo jumbo).

That is why you will often find a pod of goktimi cluster-fellating. It is a throwback to the days when protein was scarce in their diet and they had to supplement with various other sources.

An interesting spinoff is they way a goktimus has now developed this behaviour into an attacking technique. Fellating someone to death is not unheard of, and many goktimi have been known to randomly fellate a passerby.

The goktimus will, in the absence of a real d!ck, carry out fellating motions on anything, even door knobs. It is OK, as I assume they are getting enough protein in their diet anyway?

Hope this helps.

[fiercest tiger]

i bet you dont live in australia, tell me what area and the area around that. if its true ill pay you a visit for sure.

i dont mind a fight, espcially fighting you!

win or lose doesnt matter but you will know you have been in a fight.

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

[joedoe]

Have a look the the 'Survivor' thread in the Kung Fu forum started by KFO Admin. 5 star has been voted off the forum!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anyone else noticed how Goktimus hasn't made ANY posts anywhere for over a week? Just about when 5 star, mercilessfighter and calmguru turned up.

Very suspicious.

[This message was edited by ABandit on 02-22-01 at 04:30 PM.]

[Fish of Fury]

yeah, you'd definitely think if he wasn't these clowns he'd be telling us about it ( probably at great length )
to be fair, maybe he's just off teaching or something.

then again, why should i start being reasonable :)

At least we all agree that GOKTIMUS ,not liked by all you bang bang kungfu practitioners because of your not being able to face reality that his northern praying mantis kungfu is far supperior to yours.Even you lot can see from all the free publicity that he is experienced in tournament sparring,instructor in the best undisputed northern praying mantis kungfu ,that you lot envy him and knows that that his kicks and superior speed is far better then any of you can ever achieve in your lifetime of training ,except if you decide to train in northern mantis kungfu.Even look at the tournament picture where his opponent tried to block his kick only to be deceived by the seer speed of executing of the kick,you can see from the picture where the opponent blocks the kick after it has already gone through the defense .If any of you peasant kungfu wants to try ,you would end up with 3or4 broken ribs.Then see who sues who!!!!

bestallstyle

[BIU JI]

Someone should slap your mother.

biu ji:ONLY people who have no confidence of themselves start abusing others family members ,i have no problem taking you and fierest or was it toothless tiger together.I offered a challenge and it made himm **** in his pants.YOU ...southerns are such weaklings that you are afraid,or was it embarassed to reveal your style you practice.WEAKLINGS..

bestallstyle

[Fish of Fury]

that's funny bestallstyle, if you read the beginning of this thread you'll see that goktimus is complaining about getting a horrible BRUISE at a kung fu class (southern kungfu i believe..where was his dazzling speed and ability then,or does it only work in cyberspace?)
and now you want us to think he's a viscious tournament fighter AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
i'm sure he'd win by threatening to sue the organisers
at least from your interpretation of the photos i see you're finally developing a sense of humour

[BIU JI]

Look f**k head you obviuosly can't read, we posted challenges back to you but you didn't reply because you're full of ****. If you read previous posts you'll see what style we do but again you just couldn't think that far ahead. Since you're conveniently overseas a little difficult for you to take challenges isn't it moron!
Look it up d**k head and if you think you've figured it out and shown you've got at least alittle grey matter(that means brains ok) then you can post another moronic reply and you can continue your little wet dream.
Is that too difficult for you s**t for brains?

[Fish of Fury]

hey Biu Ji, go easy.
i think the current kindergarten class is only up to the basic alphabet (as demonstrated in random unintelligable order in their previous posts)
any words over 3 letters may cause their brains to explode
if you want them to get it you may have to post in the form of a "See Spot Run" picture book

you could start , for example with a picture of you or fiercest tiger, followed by a picture of these fools diving up each others dung funnels, accompanied by the words "See Bestialitystyle Run"

[BIU JI]

little luck of their brains exploding but we can hope. i am bored at the moment troll stomping relieves it a touch.
They are slippery little buggers aren't they, I geuss it's all the afluent they bathe in.
Who's on next 5inch/ Calmolive/Worstexcuse?
come on Bestall make the time etc! live up to your claims, I've still an incling of interest in seeing your bloated head in person.
Who bets just some pathetic reply but still no date?

Listen to all those weakling southerners,still scared to say what **** southern style they practice.Its so hard is it to openly mention your **** style????

bestallstyle

[BIU JI]

What difference is it you anyway , your superior speed should take of everything anyway yeh!
your amazing skill(felating) should destroy all , I'd probably drown in rivers of bull**** coming out of your toad head.
Don't worry death Fish I'm fine I'm actually enjoying this even with the lack of intelligent response.
Well what's the verdic Ballstar are you in Sydney or UK?

[joedoe]

Do not sully the sacred Duty of Care thread. It is sacrosanct - purely for the slagging off of goktimus. Please do not respond to anyone like bestnod!ck or mercisless fister here.

Take it somewhere else. This thread is reserved for silliness.

BTW, I was a little lost not having anyone to verbally destroy. I now have a purpose in life again. Thank you bestnostyle.

BTW again. I do the deadly Northern Hampster style.

[Fish of Fury]

i almost strayed from the true path.

PS: watch your back round here with hamster style, many a small furry animal has dissappeared up a goktimus' nutella tunnel.
at least you do NORTHERN hamster style, which is far superior to my own southern hamster style

[Budokan]

I too was somewhat disconcerted to find my beloved Goktimus Duty of Care post sullied by this recent flame war. But, it's still funny and you gotta get your laughs where you can! Thanks, guys.

By the way, does anybody else suspect that Bestnostyle is Goktimus himself cloaked in yet another personality? Seems pretty likely... :)

K. Mark Hoover

[joedoe]

A new variety of goktimus has just been discovered in Sydney. It is believed that it is the result of the genetic experiments using modern scientific methods that went horribly wrong.

The Lazarus variety has emerged.

The Lazarus variety has a strange ability to return from the dead. Once it has dies due to various factors such as over Daewooing, over cluster-fellating, or being voted off by a tribal council, it spends a few days in repose then rises from the dead.

This rather persistent goktimus can be rather annoying but if treated properly can be humiliated to dead, which in most cases is permanent.

The Lazarus variety of goktimus, like many of its predecessors, takes on multiple personalities and lacks an ability to communicate coherently. It is also pre-disposed to cluster-fellating and internal physical self-inspection.

If you wish to hunt the Lazarus variety, you can often get two kills with one shot if you aim at a pod of Lazarus goktimi that are cluster-fellating. Simply aim at the arse of one, and you have a good chance of shooting right through and getting another one on the other side of the cluster.

Again, use low velocity, non explosive rounds.

Fortunately, your Daewoo is still able to effectively track a Lazarus goktimus, but the Lazarus goktimus, having a larger sphincter diameter, is often not satisfied with just one Daewoo. Sometimes it requires a Ssangyong Musso or something even larger. The Hyundai building in North Sydney has been known to be engulfed by a Lazarus Goktimus for periods of time.

[BIU JI]

They made indeed shape shift but their ever present stench will be their down fall I'm certain.
Resist the urge to stick tissues up your snoz so you will be able to detect goktimus and their parasytical companions thus saving your life.

[BIU JI]

They may indeed shape shift but their ever present stench will reveal them. Along with their parasytical companions goktimus are unable to realize when they are not wanted.
At least a jelly fish (no reference to you Fish of Death) with it's simple brain knows when to f**k off. So resist the urge to shove tissues up your snoz and this will protect your from a severe fellating that you never recover from.

[BIU JI]

Is my point clear! haha

[Fish of Fury]

good point Biu Ji, a goktimus by any other name will smell as bad...

keep your nose open and your butt cheeks tightly shut (unless you want a goktimus buttplug)

i'm worried that these constantly mutating goktimi with larger and larger sphincters will endanger the stability of matter.
if a pod of goktimi gather and their collective arses implode the end result could be a black hole that sucks anything...
...oh, wait.this may have already happened

BTW, thanks ABandit. i work in the Hyundai building in north sydney...i thought it was unusually dark for this time of year

[This message was edited by Fish of Death on 02-23-01 at 11:29 PM.]

[joedoe]

Was there a furry covering the building gained while it darkened? If so then it was definitely a Lazarus goktimus engulfing the building. This is usually accompanied by strong putrid odours and a wailing sound saying "Owww, that is painful, stop it".

Another thing you may notice is a lot of empty challenges being thrown around very incoherently.

[Fish of Fury]

funny you mention that ABandit, cos there was certainly a foul stench and a loud whining noise

when i tried to get out i kept getting sent law suits from Fivestar and Felchers Legal offices.

my goktimus keeps gnawing it's tail.is this butt munching normal, or is it trying to dislodge an impacted daewoo?

[joedoe]

Butt munching is normal for a goktimus, but you should still check for the Daewoo. You don't want a nasty infection or anything.

What part of the tail is he chewing? Is it closer to the anus, or towards the end? If it is close to the anus this is normal. Otherwise, take him to a vet because he may have severe internal muscle bruising or even STRAINED LIGAMENTS. This should be verified by a vet trained in modern scientific methods, not using mystical mumbo jumbo.

Hope this helps.

Look at these bunch of southern ***S,still hasnot come up with the guts to announce your **** southern kungfu style.Northern KUNGFU is the best......get that into your thick heads ,and give up that head banging stuff ,that is why you all are ashame to reveal your **** southern style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bestallstyle

[joedoe]

Have a look at my profile. I do Northern Shaolin Hampster style :).

Alas my friends, my sifu has informed me that my latest behaviour is bad for my karma and has ordered me to stop insulting the idiots :(.

So I am fated to watch, but not to participate. Biu Ji & Fiercest Tiger, please continue without me. Fish of Death, I will miss our repartee. Anyone else who has participated in this worthwhile endeavour, I thank you for your camaraderie.

See you on a serious forum.

[Budokan]

We all know that a tortured goktimus is a happy goktimus, thence the saying: "A tortured goktimus is a happy goktimus." But since physical torture is so easy (a few cotton balls thrown at its forearms will result in serious bruises and STRAINED LIGAMENTS, followed by lawsuits filed through moral indignation) I tend to specialize in ego crushing and self-esteem lowering. This always made my pet goktimus, Chum Slurper, especially happy.

I always make it a point to keep my goktimus' self-esteem around the size of a poppy seed. If it's allowed to grow any more, say, the volume of a sunflower seed, the goktimus tends to feel confused and upset with these new feelins of adequacy--as opposed to it's old habit of INadequacy. But last night I went too far.

How? I showed my goktimus the centerfold from Playboy magazine and told it, "Do you, in your wildest imagination, ever think you--with your dropped pie face and overly queerball tendecies--will ever have the remotest chance of banging a gorgeous piece of a$$ like this?"

When I had showed Chum Slurper the futility of holding out ANY hope of heterosexual activity, its ego and self-esteem was quickly crushed past the volume of a hydrogen atom, and it imploded, falling in upon itself. Of course, I love my pet goktimus, and when I saw this I immediately began to urinate on it's dried husk, but I'm afraid it was too little too late. My goktimus continued to fold in upon itself until it completely winked out of sight!

So what's going on here? Has my goktimus actually reached another space-time continuum, or has it finally gone to that great Cluster-Fellating Pod in the sky?

K. Mark Hoover

LATEST NEWS:A group of martialart men went to the DOJO of the NORTHERN PRAYING MANTIS in SYDNEY to challange the SENSEI and GUESS WHAT?????? They got there arse licked in and has to crawl out of the DOJO with tails between there legs .Anymore out there want to have your arse kicked in ,come and try...

guru

[joedoe]

Quote:
LATEST NEWS:A group of martialart men went to the DOJO of the NORTHERN PRAYING MANTIS in SYDNEY to challange the SENSEI and GUESS WHAT?????? They got there arse licked in and has to crawl out of the DOJO with tails between there legs

So, firstly, kung fu schools do not have dojos or or a sensei. Those terms are Japanese.

Secondly, they got their arse licked? Is that what Northern Praying Mantis teached people to do? Lick their opponent's arses until they can't take it anymore?

DEFEATED MARTIALARTISTS HEADBOWED WITH SHAME:I found out more details from our SYDNEY NORTHERN MANTIS SCHOOL.that the challangers were of EUROPEAN appearance,the ones that fought claimed to do GRACIA and MACHADO JUYJITSU while the other person did KARATE since childhood.The jujitsu person actually fought one of our average junior fellow student first ,only to be injured by the superior mantis strikes and kicks.He could not continue so he tagged his other friend (TAG TEAM ha..ha..)only to end up defeated by the same fellow SYDNEY MANTIS junior student with only just one strike and a takedown move,where he ended on his arse in agony and was courteously carried to there car by the fellow students .Our style is the best all your other styles out there stinks and sucks ,ours has been proven since dawn of time and again in our branch in SYDNEY, the land down under

bestallstyle

HEY ALL OF YOU FROM DOWNUNDER,its a strange quiet day ,where are you all hiding? I hope you lot were not associated with the defeated pair ???? Sounds like it as after the incident ,you all has disappeared,comeon we are all civilised,as long as you are not openly challanging like the two defeated pair.,you should not be afraid not one will hit you .........without reasons.

guru

[obiwan]

Look,
I train at a NPM school. I've had enough of this inflammatory garbage.

Moderator, I ask you to shut this post down now. It's a load of nonsense and is just people spitting insults at each other which can cause a fight and spread a bad name.

I would like to reinforce the fact that all posts here unless stated otherwise, ARE PERSONAL opinions. They do not necessarily have any factual grounding nor does it necessarily represent the thoughts of any school or group unless specifically stated.

This started as a decent discussion and has now degenerated.

No further posts on this subject please.

Enough is enough. Go do something more useful.
I know I have the support of many others on this opinion, whom have spoken to me in private.

Please let's keep things in the realm of reality and be civil and objective. That is the whole concept of this forum.

The Force will be with you...always

SHOW SOME RESPECT ,to the style you do ,refer to it by its complete name ,not shortcuts or letters to represent it .Show pride in the style you are associated with,i donnot care about other styles but for ours i do care.

bestallstyle

HEY!!!! son of a MUG.Where is your respect for the school and style,calling it NPM.Now you got me warmed up and fuming.Correct yourself and reply again using full complete name of your school and style,you son of a g.where is the respect,who taught you like that.

guru

CALMGURU:You are very true,that son of a lump of sh1t,has no respect to his school,style he trains in,and most of all his sensei.Using 3simple letters to represent his style.Where is his pride.to this famous style?????.If i ever get my hands on him or ever get a chance to meet him ,war betide him,i will deep his head in a bucket of ****,unless he apologise too all northern mantis kungfu practitioners........You lump of sh1t......!!!!!!!

bestallstyle

[joedoe]

ttt

[Budokan]

I've just reread this thread and my stomach hurts from laughing so much.:D

[joedoe]

It really is one of the great all-time classics is it not? :D

[DelicateSound]

I wasn't here when this was made but holy sh!t this is funny! I've read the last 6 pages! :D

My favorites are:
How? I showed my goktimus the centerfold from Playboy magazine and told it, "Do you, in your wildest imagination, ever think you--with your dropped pie face and overly queerball tendecies--will ever have the remotest chance of banging a gorgeous piece of a$$ like this?"

Genius :D


So what's going on here? Has my goktimus actually reached another space-time continuum, or has it finally gone to that great Cluster-Fellating Pod in the sky?

Stop it - I can't breathe :D


Is that what Northern Praying Mantis teached people to do? Lick their opponent's arses until they can't take it anymore?


i'm a bit worried about flatulence in my goktimus.despite the complete lack of tone in the anal spincter, it does seem to build up gas, and i'm concerned that a sudden eruption may forcibly expel a Daewoo, causing damage to property for hundreds of metres, not to mention endangering lives.

Oh man. Budokan - you are one funny guy.

[DelicateSound]

When you shoot wild goktimi, do you use low velocity, non-explosive rounds? It is important to do this because even though we all know that speed kills, you don't want an explosion occurring inside a goktimus as it can ignite one of the pockets of gas and cause an explosion, usually showering everything in sh!t for miles.

Joedoe, so are you :D

[diego]

obiwan


Registered: Dec 1969
Location:
Posts:
THAT'S ENOUGH
Look,
I train at a NPM school. I've had enough of this inflammatory garbage.

Moderator, I ask you to shut this post down now. It's a load of nonsense and is just people spitting insults at each other which can cause a fight and spread a bad name.

I would like to reinforce the fact that all posts here unless stated otherwise, ARE PERSONAL opinions. They do not necessarily have any factual grounding nor does it necessarily represent the thoughts of any school or group unless specifically stated.

This started as a decent discussion and has now degenerated.

No further posts on this subject please.

Enough is enough. Go do something more useful.
I know I have the support of many others on this opinion, whom have spoken to me in private.

Please let's keep things in the realm of reality and be civil and objective. That is the whole concept of this forum.

The Force will be with you...always

[joedoe]

Obiwan is Goktimus' brother. The funniest thing is that Goktimus went on to set up his own forum which was only frequented by himself and his friends. A few of us had a look there and it was pathetic. He moderated it himself, so if you said anything he didn't like he just wiped out your message.

Anyway, this particular thread holds a special place in my heart because it was the first one I posted in :)

[prana]

*sob* *sob* so heartfelt, so..... waaaaaAAAAAaaaahhhh!!!!

*sob* A- *sob* men !

[harry_the_monk]

don't know why but I never got round to posting on this thread, had I known of its endurance and ability I may have tried sowing some seeds myself......

[prana]

harry_the_monk

Namaste.

[harry_the_monk]

Namaste...long time...still around here though:)

[Xebsball]

i couldnt resist, i had to TTT, so...

TTT

[RENEGADE_MONK]

This one is one of my favs


Yes, a goktimus can be bonsai'd, but you have to do it while they are young and avoid feeding them any milk or cheese as this causes their bones to strengthen so they are harder to bonsai.

Avoid using anything like dit da as it is mystical mumbo jumbo, but a good modern scientific method should do the trick here.

And be careful not to put its head too close to its butt when you bonsai it otherwise you end up with problems like previous questions where the goktimus keeps shoving its own head up its bum.

[joedoe]

OMG this thread is still alive! :D

[Fish of Fury]

looks like I picked a good day to check in on the good old KFO :)

[Serpent]

Where you been, Fish-dude!?

We've missed you round here!

[dnc101]

and point out the fact that this person failed in his responsibility to his friend. If what he originally posted is even partly true, then he, as the 'experienced'(?) martial artist, should have steped in and said it's time to go. He let his friend get hurt, and so he should be sued, by his own standards.

But what would be the point in saying anything serious here now?

By the way, for those of you who watch such things, this has got to be one of the fastest growing threads on this forum. A real phenom'. Anyone have the stats?

[Lice]

Not all that fast.. it started in Jan. 2001. :)

[joedoe]

This thread is actually the reason I joined this forum. The school Gokky talks about is actually the school I attend, though I was not there at the time. After that I got trapped by the silliness on this forum and never left. :)

The events related kinda happened - obviously his view of what happened is very different to the view presented to me by my training brothers.

From what I was told, he was very disrespectful both to our sifu and to other students, not to mention the art itself. When he was not able to perform the exercises and drills that were being trained, he altered them to his own liking and almost injured several students.

When all is said and done, he could always have walked away from the class. He was not forced to continue. His own ego and pride forced him to continue with exercises that he claimed were injuring him.

Anyway, the funny thing is that after everything had blown over I heard that he is disliked even in his own school.

BTW feel free to post any question regarding care of your Goktimus and I will try to help :D

[Serpent]

He's disliked everywhere by everyone. He's quite simply dislikeable in the extreme.

Face like a dropped pie! Ah, every one a classic.

By the way, JoeDoe. I've recently been bonsai'ing a couple of young Goktimii and am obviously avoiding milk and cheese. However, they keep breaking free form their bonsai restraints in order to fellate each other. It's becoming very frustrating. Any suggestions?

[joedoe]

Kill them. Every one of them.

[inic]

where the hell did this post come from? looks like the longest ever! most of it seems to be joe and fish though

[rubthebuddha]

i think tae li's thread on jet li (well, i think about 5 of the 30 pages or so is on jet li) has this one beat though.

[Fish of Fury]

Hey Serpent...I've been training secretly in the mountains and...
OK, that's complete crap.
Haven't spent much time on the net recently, but it's good to visit here again.I'll have to try and make it a more common event.

[Serpent]

JoeDoe. Best advice you could have given.

Fish. Don't be a stranger.

Everyone else. Please join in the Duty Of Care thread and it will never die!

I'm just waiting for Kelvin Chan to make a reappearance!

[dezhen2001]

i just read this whole thread!!!! :eek: work is real interesting tonight lol

tae lis thread still has this one beat i reckon ;)

joedoe & prana: u guys cracked me up! funny guys :D

dawood

[Mr Punch]

Every time ...in stitches :D :D :D

[Budokan]

"Ow, that hurts, stop it!" :D

I predict we have not heard the last of Kelvin Chan. He will reappear someday. He has to. It's one of the signs of the Apocalypse, I think... :p

[Serpent]

It lives again!

[joedoe]

While the Got Qi girls thread has way more replies, this thread is definitely the longest lived I have seen. Just keeps getting dug up, and refuses to die. May it forever stand as a warning to any wimpy kung fu hippies who want to train without getting bruised :D

[ZIM]

Just keeps getting dug up, and refuses to die. D00dy ov K4r3 in tha house, boyeeee!!!

Oh, mercy! :p

I almost think that this one should be the basis for some kind of drinking game... mention it, & you gotta drink or something

[rubthebuddha]

either that, or if you check the back pages and find this thread after it's been comatose for a while and awaken it, you gotta drink your whole glass.

[ZIM]

Thats what I was doing.. and anyway, joedoe brought it up. :p

Its very very funny

:D

[PHILBERT]

Man I wish I didn't have psychology class in 8 minutes or I'd read this thread.

[Former castleva]

Basing on that,
I give my points to Goktimus/Ego/" ".

[SevenStar]

TTT for the memories...

[5thBrother]

just keeping this up da top :D

10 years from now i wanna see this thread still in da first page..

good work boys!!!

dec 2001 hey .... dam we need a 2years anniversary

we can invite kelvin and play arm knocking game :D


5thBro

[dezhen2001]

i remember hearing of this the 1st time around :)

dawood

[IronFist]

Did I miss something? Why did everyone go nuts on this guy cuz the school was rough on him?

[dezhen2001]

read the thread man :rolleyes:













:D

dawood

[IronFist]

I did. Oh well. I read the first like 5 or 6 pages until everyone started making jokes.

[Vash]

It Lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








































































Vashryu Post-Te posting style.

[Vash]

Suppose I could flood this thread, use it to get my post count up . . . ;)

[scotty1]

Oh....


My......

God.

[Vash]

Originally posted by scotty1
Oh....


My......

God.

too easy.

[joedoe]

Originally posted by IronFist
Did I miss something? Why did everyone go nuts on this guy cuz the school was rough on him?

Ummm, the guy basically threatened to sue our school because he got a few bruises.

[Vash]

Originally posted by Vash
It Lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








































































Vashryu Post-Te posting style.

See above.