Do you Involve the Entire Family in Your Training?

[HumbleWCGuy]

I have known some people who have pretty much raised their children in the martial arts. Their wives are involved on at least a self-defense level. What are your thoughts on how involved your family should be with training?

[donbdc]

As muc has you want to pass on your passiions, your children will undoubtedly decide for themselves. I have trained my boys on and off over the yrs. but I don't want to make them hate it. I just try to teach and inspire to the best of my abilities. The spouse tolerates my hobbies graciously!:)

Don Berry

[SteveLau]

If it is carried out, there should not be force and threat involved. I have heard of view that teaching family members MA is more difficult than non-family people. And I think I know why ...




KC
Hong Kong

[TenTigers]

When I was in High School, there was a family, whose dad learned Judo in the Army, while stationed in Japan.
He had all his kids train in Judo.
One day during a break between classes, we're hanging outside in front of the school, and some jock is messing with Rosemary, a petite little girl in pigtails and overalls. Rosemary was one of the judo kids.
"You'd better knock it off, or you'll get hurt." She warned.
The jock laughed and said,"What are ya gonna do, use your Judo on me?"
"Yep." She answered.
The next thing, he's on his back, trying to catch his wind, and little Rosemary is standing there with here hands on her hips. "Told ya so."

I caught up with Rosemary twenty years later. She has three kids, all enrolled in Judo class.
Her brother runs the Waseda Judo Club near me.

My (ex)stepdaughters all were trained in Kung-Fu. Being half-Asian, they were often the target of bullies. They handled themselves just fine. I was proud every time I was called in to talk with the principal. If they were suspended for protecting themselves, we took them to IHOP and a movie.
The youngest, when she was about 13, was training for an upcoming tournament. I worked her hard, till 1:00 am. She was nearly in tears. She won every event.
Has hated me ever since.
Would I change anything? Yeah. But this isn't a thread about marriage relationships....

[charp choi]

Nah, it's just me.
My lot aren't remotely interested in my CMA training.
The kids think it's amusing and the missus just rolls her eyes whenever I train at home.

[jdhowland]

I'm hoping my family will always continue training but I can only encourage it, not demand it.

I was introduced to the arts by my step-dad who was a jujitsuka and loved Mongolian wrestling and some strange exercises called kung fu. I was the only one in my family who took to it but I felt it was my personal treasure passed on by someone who saw some potential and cared about me enough to make me stronger.

When I was training in SF Chinatown I heard my sifu's young son complain, "I didn't want to join. I wanted to play baseball." I made a mental note to the effect that, if I ever had a family, I shouldn't pressure them to take to my own interests.

I have that family now and my wife and kids have all trained with me. My eleven-year-old son trains at least once a week and does some exercises at home with varying degrees of enthusiasm. I have learned to not call it "kung fu class" but simply "training." Or I just say, "Come on Son, let's go get some exercise."
Even if the kung fu bug doesn't bite, he and my daughter may still have some fondness for the training.

[Indrafist]

I'm hoping my family will always continue training but I can only encourage it, not demand it.

I was introduced to the arts by my step-dad who was a jujitsuka and loved Mongolian wrestling and some strange exercises called kung fu. I was the only one in my family who took to it but I felt it was my personal treasure passed on by someone who saw some potential and cared about me enough to make me stronger.

When I was training in SF Chinatown I heard my sifu's youn son complain, "I didn't want to join. I wanted to play baseball." I made a mental note to the effect that, if I ever had a family, I shouldn't pressure them to take to my own interests.

I have that family now and my wife and kids have all trained with me. My eleven-year-old son trains at least once a week and does some exercises at home with varying degrees of enthusiasm. I have learned to not call it "kung fu class" but simply "training." Or I just say, "Come on Son, let's go get some exercise."
Even if the kung fu bug doesn't bite, he and my daughter may still have some fondness for the training.

Prosaic wisdom....

[hungheikwan]

My wife has trained for the last fifteen years. My kids have no interest (although my son spent about a year in training, when he was six).

[donbdc]

Nah, it's just me.
My lot aren't remotely interested in my CMA training.
The kids think it's amusing and the missus just rolls her eyes whenever I train at home.

I can relate so well. Especially to the eye rolling!

[YouKnowWho]

I like pole hanging. It's one of my major training. My daughter takes it into a new level. She makes herself the US pole dancing champion.

http://natashawang.com/

[TenTigers]

I like pole hanging. It's one of my major training. My daughter takes it into a new level. She makes herself the US pole dancing champion.

http://natashawang.com/

I'd pay money to see the interview:

Reporter:"Where did you learn your pole dancing?"
Natasha: "From my Dad."
Reporter: "From your Da...uh..wait...what?"
:D

[HumbleWCGuy]

This thread is degrading rapidly, but here is a nice bit from Chris Rock about the responsibilities of fathers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tojBadSr2zI

[Jimbo]

No, I do not.

My first exposure to MA was one of my earliest memories; my older brother being dropped off to judo class, and hearing the banging and slapping on the mats. Our father earned his judo black belt during the 1940s, and back in the day, all of my male relatives did at least some judo. Maybe it was a Japanese-American thing? Also, I remember three of my cousins (all brothers) throwing me around and tying me up in knots using judo groundwork at the beach, and being frustrated that I couldn't do anything about it.

When I was 10, I finally gave judo a try of my own free will. If I had been forced into it, I'd have hated it and been turned off to all MA training.

That tradition of our family members and relatives doing judo ended sometime in the '70s. I ended up sticking with MA long after most of my other relatives stopped. But the key words were 'of my own free will.'

I've seen a few examples where MA teachers forced their kid(s) into training. Many became good at it in spite of themselves, but relatively few made the MA a lifelong pursuit.

[YouKnowWho]

MA teachers forced their kid(s) into training,

If I can live my life all over again, when my kids were young, I would hire some local gang members to beat them up so they would have more interest in TCMA. Oneday I gave my son 3 of my favor hand guns. A year later, he returned those hand guns back to me. After that day, I knew my son is different from me.

[Jimbo]

If I can live my life all over again, when my kids were young, I would hire some local gang members to beat them up so they would have more interest in TCMA. Oneday I gave my son 3 of my favor hand guns. A year later, he returned those hand guns back to me. After that day, I knew my son is different from me.

I had been dealing with some bullies for years when I decided I wanted to train. So maybe those bullies helped me, unintentionally. I was really convinced when after a little training, it actually worked very well in a fight with one of them. Then I was hooked.

[YouKnowWho]

I had been dealing with some bullies for years when I decided I wanted to train. So maybe those bullies helped me, unintentionally. I was really convinced when after a little training, it actually worked very well in a fight with one of them. Then I was hooked.
That was how I got interest in TCMA. A HUGE Mongolian girl beat me up daily when I was 5. A local gang member threateded to kill me when I was 17. To me, the TCMA training was never for health or self cultivation.

[Jimbo]

I agree. IMO, the kids who are serious about MA must have a strong stimulus to do it. That stimulus could be real physical dangers, through bullying, threat of crime, etc.; or simply wanting to change from weak/afraid to strong/confident.

Any health benefits would be a natural side effect of training, not necessarily a good reason in and of itself to train MA. If that's the main reason, someone could have faster and more specific results going to a gym or yoga class.

As for self-cultivation, I used to think so, but never really understood what it meant in relation to MA. One of the most talented MAists I ever met was a 50-year-old career criminal overseas. I haven't really noticed any correlation between MA and building better character. Those MAists who have better character (and I've known a lot of them, too) are that way because they are more mature, evolved human beings, and probably would have become that way anyway, without MA training. If hard physical training made better people, then all elite athletes should be saints, but we all know that's not true, not by a long shot.