Punch.HeadButt
09-12-2012, 10:34 AM
I was wondering if anyone had seen something like this before....a couple quick google searches didn't turn up anything, so you can skip that handy piece of advice :rolleyes: :p
I've gotten a few spam e-mails from "UPS" and "FedEx" over the past couple months. The thing is, these aren't like the normal fraudulent spam, where it says there's some issue with a shipment and includes a malware-riddled invoice attachment. There is no attachment to these fraud e-mails, they're just filled with some bizarre snippets of literature.
Here's what was in the last "UPS" one I got last week:
"We were taught that this species is a destroyer of mice, beetles, and vermin, thus rendering the agriculturist great services, which, however are so little known that the bird is everywhere hunted down without mercy or justice.Surely, this is not true of all owls, I said, and by reading further we learned that the barred, or hoot owl, and the great horned owl, were deserving of a surer aim of Mertons gun. They prey not only upon useful game, but also invade the poultry-yard, the horned species being especially destructive. Instances were given in which these freebooters had killed every chicken upon a farm. As they hunt only at night, they are hard to capture. Their notes and natures are said to be in keeping with their deeds of darkness; for their cry is wild, harsh, and unearthly, while in temper they are cowardly, savage, and untamable, showing no affection even for each other. A female has been known to kill and eat the male.
A person who goes so far as to wear a conspicuous white wig, would not be afraid also to dye his eyebrows black, if he were Edwin; while either Edwin or Helena MUST have made up the face, by the use of paint and sham wrinkles.Either Helena or Edwin would have been detected in real life, of course, but we allow for the accepted fictitious convention of successful disguise, and for the necessities of the novelist. A tightly buttoned surtout would show Helenas feminine figure; but let that also pass. As to the hat, Edwins own hair was long and thick: add a wig, and his hat would be a burden to him. What is most unlike the stern, fierce, sententious Helena, is Datcherys habit of chaffing. He fools the ass of a Mayor, Sapsea, by most exaggerated diference: his tone is always that of indolent mockery, which one doubts whether the intense and concentrated Helena could assume.
The door opened and Huggo walked in. His face was very flushed and his articulation a little odd. When, after greetings, he sat down, he sat down with a curiously unsteady thud and gave a little laugh and said, Whoa, mare, steady! It appeared, after explanations, that he had come to talk about this Oxford business. I really cant very well go to Oxford now, father. I really ought to start in some money-making business now, and Ive got a jolly good opening promised me. I really ought to take it. There were some hard and bitter things said between his father and the boy. The boy fumbled--he obviously had been drinking--between would not or could not say very much as to who it was that he had married. Huggo, very red, increasingly difficult to understand, said, Its a plain enough question. Its a plain enough question. Ive come here to be perfectly frank and plain and plain enough question. The fact is I dont know very much about her plain enough people."
And here's a "FedEx" one I just got today:
"The following is the paragraph to which the Saints objected.It occurs in an Artemus Ward paper on Brigham Young, written some years ago: I girded up my Lions and fled the Seen. I packt up my duds and left Salt Lake, which is a 2nd Soddum and Germorer, inhabited by as theavin & onprincipled a set of retchis as ever drew Breth in eny spot on the Globe. I had forgotten all about this, and as Elder Stenhouse read it to me my feelings may be better imagined than described, to use language I think I have heard before. I pleaded, however, that it was a purely burlesque sketch, and that this strong paragraph should not be interpreted literally at all. The Elder didnt seem to see it in that light, but we parted pleasantly. I go back to my hotel and go to bed, and I do not get up again for two weary weeks. I have the mountain fever (so called in Utah, though it closely resembles the old-style typhus) and my case is pronounced dangerous. I dont regard it so.! I dont, in fact, regard anything. I am all right, MYSELF.
Man kam die Treppe herauf.Herein! Es war die Wirtin. Ein Brief fuer Sie, Herr Werner! Dann entfernte sie sich wieder. In Deinem Alter, mein liebes Kind, hat noch fast jedes Jahr sein eigenes Gesicht: denn die Jugend laesst sich nicht aermer machen. Hier ist auch manches anders geworden, was Dir wohl erstan weh tun wird, wenn ich Dich sonst recht verstanden habe. Erich hat sich gestern endlich das Jawort von Elisabeth geholt, nachdem er in dem letzten Vierteljahr zweimal vergebens angefragt hatte. Sie hatte sich immer nicht dazu entschliessen koennen; nun hat sie es endlich doch getan; sie ist auch noch gar zu jung. Die Hochzeit wird bald sein, und die Mutter wird dann mit ihnen fortgehen. Mit seinen ernsten dunkeln Augen sah er gespannt in die Ferne, als erwarte er endlich eine Veraenderung des einfoermigen Weges, die jedoch immer nicht eintreten wollte. Endlich kam ein Karrenfuhrwerk langsam von unten herauf. Der Bauer fuhr vorueber; der andere ging eiliger unter! den Baeumen entlang.
I was standing in the Fourth Street entrance to my store and was looking south on Fourth Street, and saw Mr.Brann and Mr. Ward coming up the sidewalk from the alley in front of the Cotton Belt ticket office, and then turned and looked north towards Austin Street. And while looking in that direction I heard three pistol shots almost simultaneously, and turned and looked in the direction from which the pistol shots came, and saw Mr. Tom Davis reeling and falling to the sidewalk and Mr. Brann firing upon him. Mr. Davis fell to the ground almost in a heap and rolled over as many as four times. Mr. Ward handed Mr. Brann a pistol and Brann stepped forward towards Davis and began firing on him as he was rolling upon the sidewalk. "
Despite the fact that these are friggin' hilarious to me, they still pique my curiosity as to what the point of them is. Again, there's no attachment or links or anything.....just the text. Anyone seen e-mails like this before? Any ideas as to their purpose, if any? I've asked a few places, and haven't gotten any input.
The e-mails of their origin are "customer-services@ups-cust.com" and "international@helppfedex.com" respectively. Searches on both didn't find anything.
Mostly, I just wanted to share these e-mails because of THEY ARE REALLY FRIGGIN' WEIRD. :eek:
I've gotten a few spam e-mails from "UPS" and "FedEx" over the past couple months. The thing is, these aren't like the normal fraudulent spam, where it says there's some issue with a shipment and includes a malware-riddled invoice attachment. There is no attachment to these fraud e-mails, they're just filled with some bizarre snippets of literature.
Here's what was in the last "UPS" one I got last week:
"We were taught that this species is a destroyer of mice, beetles, and vermin, thus rendering the agriculturist great services, which, however are so little known that the bird is everywhere hunted down without mercy or justice.Surely, this is not true of all owls, I said, and by reading further we learned that the barred, or hoot owl, and the great horned owl, were deserving of a surer aim of Mertons gun. They prey not only upon useful game, but also invade the poultry-yard, the horned species being especially destructive. Instances were given in which these freebooters had killed every chicken upon a farm. As they hunt only at night, they are hard to capture. Their notes and natures are said to be in keeping with their deeds of darkness; for their cry is wild, harsh, and unearthly, while in temper they are cowardly, savage, and untamable, showing no affection even for each other. A female has been known to kill and eat the male.
A person who goes so far as to wear a conspicuous white wig, would not be afraid also to dye his eyebrows black, if he were Edwin; while either Edwin or Helena MUST have made up the face, by the use of paint and sham wrinkles.Either Helena or Edwin would have been detected in real life, of course, but we allow for the accepted fictitious convention of successful disguise, and for the necessities of the novelist. A tightly buttoned surtout would show Helenas feminine figure; but let that also pass. As to the hat, Edwins own hair was long and thick: add a wig, and his hat would be a burden to him. What is most unlike the stern, fierce, sententious Helena, is Datcherys habit of chaffing. He fools the ass of a Mayor, Sapsea, by most exaggerated diference: his tone is always that of indolent mockery, which one doubts whether the intense and concentrated Helena could assume.
The door opened and Huggo walked in. His face was very flushed and his articulation a little odd. When, after greetings, he sat down, he sat down with a curiously unsteady thud and gave a little laugh and said, Whoa, mare, steady! It appeared, after explanations, that he had come to talk about this Oxford business. I really cant very well go to Oxford now, father. I really ought to start in some money-making business now, and Ive got a jolly good opening promised me. I really ought to take it. There were some hard and bitter things said between his father and the boy. The boy fumbled--he obviously had been drinking--between would not or could not say very much as to who it was that he had married. Huggo, very red, increasingly difficult to understand, said, Its a plain enough question. Its a plain enough question. Ive come here to be perfectly frank and plain and plain enough question. The fact is I dont know very much about her plain enough people."
And here's a "FedEx" one I just got today:
"The following is the paragraph to which the Saints objected.It occurs in an Artemus Ward paper on Brigham Young, written some years ago: I girded up my Lions and fled the Seen. I packt up my duds and left Salt Lake, which is a 2nd Soddum and Germorer, inhabited by as theavin & onprincipled a set of retchis as ever drew Breth in eny spot on the Globe. I had forgotten all about this, and as Elder Stenhouse read it to me my feelings may be better imagined than described, to use language I think I have heard before. I pleaded, however, that it was a purely burlesque sketch, and that this strong paragraph should not be interpreted literally at all. The Elder didnt seem to see it in that light, but we parted pleasantly. I go back to my hotel and go to bed, and I do not get up again for two weary weeks. I have the mountain fever (so called in Utah, though it closely resembles the old-style typhus) and my case is pronounced dangerous. I dont regard it so.! I dont, in fact, regard anything. I am all right, MYSELF.
Man kam die Treppe herauf.Herein! Es war die Wirtin. Ein Brief fuer Sie, Herr Werner! Dann entfernte sie sich wieder. In Deinem Alter, mein liebes Kind, hat noch fast jedes Jahr sein eigenes Gesicht: denn die Jugend laesst sich nicht aermer machen. Hier ist auch manches anders geworden, was Dir wohl erstan weh tun wird, wenn ich Dich sonst recht verstanden habe. Erich hat sich gestern endlich das Jawort von Elisabeth geholt, nachdem er in dem letzten Vierteljahr zweimal vergebens angefragt hatte. Sie hatte sich immer nicht dazu entschliessen koennen; nun hat sie es endlich doch getan; sie ist auch noch gar zu jung. Die Hochzeit wird bald sein, und die Mutter wird dann mit ihnen fortgehen. Mit seinen ernsten dunkeln Augen sah er gespannt in die Ferne, als erwarte er endlich eine Veraenderung des einfoermigen Weges, die jedoch immer nicht eintreten wollte. Endlich kam ein Karrenfuhrwerk langsam von unten herauf. Der Bauer fuhr vorueber; der andere ging eiliger unter! den Baeumen entlang.
I was standing in the Fourth Street entrance to my store and was looking south on Fourth Street, and saw Mr.Brann and Mr. Ward coming up the sidewalk from the alley in front of the Cotton Belt ticket office, and then turned and looked north towards Austin Street. And while looking in that direction I heard three pistol shots almost simultaneously, and turned and looked in the direction from which the pistol shots came, and saw Mr. Tom Davis reeling and falling to the sidewalk and Mr. Brann firing upon him. Mr. Davis fell to the ground almost in a heap and rolled over as many as four times. Mr. Ward handed Mr. Brann a pistol and Brann stepped forward towards Davis and began firing on him as he was rolling upon the sidewalk. "
Despite the fact that these are friggin' hilarious to me, they still pique my curiosity as to what the point of them is. Again, there's no attachment or links or anything.....just the text. Anyone seen e-mails like this before? Any ideas as to their purpose, if any? I've asked a few places, and haven't gotten any input.
The e-mails of their origin are "customer-services@ups-cust.com" and "international@helppfedex.com" respectively. Searches on both didn't find anything.
Mostly, I just wanted to share these e-mails because of THEY ARE REALLY FRIGGIN' WEIRD. :eek: