My Journey - From Rags to Riches.

[Warrior_Man]

Hi guys, people have been asking about my background, so here it is.

I started training in a fairly secretive style of Ninjitsu when I was about 10 years old, and after I reached the 3rd Dan in this ryuha, I decided to start training in Chinese styles. Thankfully, my master was also the inheritor of a family style from Northern China, so he taught it to me - I particularly excelled at Qing Gong, Dim Mak and Iron Shirt.

Combining the two styles I had mastered, I decided to test my skills for real. One day I saw a group of hoodlums shouting at a defenseless innocent passerby. Relying on deception methods I dispersed the group and took them out one-by-one. The trickery I'd learned through Ninjutsu allowed me to set up my Chinese strikes. After I'd destroyed all of them, I knew I was a true grandmaster.

If you have any questions, please feel free.

[Kellen Bassette]

Before or after you watched the crane defeat the ape and escaped the burning Shaolin Temple?

[Shadow_Trickery]

Hi guys, people have been asking about my background, so here it is.

I started training in a fairly secretive style of Ninjitsu when I was about 10 years old, and after I reached the 3rd Dan in this ryuha, I decided to start training in Chinese styles. Thankfully, my master was also the inheritor of a family style from Northern China, so he taught it to me - I particularly excelled at Qing Gong, Dim Mak and Iron Shirt.

Combining the two styles I had mastered, I decided to test my skills for real. One day I saw a group of hoodlums shouting at a defenseless innocent passerby. Relying on deception methods I dispersed the group and took them out one-by-one. The trickery I'd learned through Ninjutsu allowed me to set up my Chinese strikes. After I'd destroyed all of them, I knew I was a true grandmaster.

If you have any questions, please feel free.

...would you mind elaborating on your style's origins? Was it really that effective in street fighting? Or was this the only time you've run into trouble?

[Warrior_Man]

:S

I think you might be confused Kellen... Feel free to ask me about my experiences though.

Thanks for your response Shadow. My Ninjutsu style traces back to the mountains of central Japan. My teacher has worked as a real life assassin before, so that proves his techniques are both real and deadly. As for me, that was my first run-in with ruffians, but I've been in quite a few rough situations.

One time someone challenged me to a fight. I defeated him but he then pulled a gun and tried to shoot me from me behind. I used the seven-star stepping method I'd learned from my teacher, got behind him and disarmed him. Tough times.

[Kellen Bassette]

Whats the Chinese style called?

[Warrior_Man]

It is a secretive family style based on Emei Snake and Miao Quan.

[Kellen Bassette]

Traditional Snake is pretty rare, I'd like to see some someday...

[Shadow_Trickery]

It is a secretive family style based on Emei Snake and Miao Quan.

Had never heard of either of these styles but just looked them up and they seem to exist at least...

[Warrior_Man]

My teacher was taught these styles by a wandering monk known as Chin. One day Chin and my teacher sat down by a river. Chin said, "Look how the water flows freely". When my teacher looked up from the stream, Chin was gone, never to be seen again. I'll never forget this story - it emphasizes the speed and wisdom you can develop through training.

[Dale Dugas]

ugggh.

more silliness from mouthboxers.

[Warrior_Man]

More jealousy from armchair nobodies.

[Bacon]

ugggh.

more silliness from mouthboxers.

After seeing two or three of these threads pop up I think I'm starting to understand your pain Dale.

[Lucas]

I've seen far better, and far more funny here...I give you a 3 out of 10 ninja stars. 2 for the attempt on the slow friday after a holiday and 1 as a default for showing up. Keep trying, you'll get funny eventually.

[Dale Dugas]

Cupcake mouthboxers who claim secret styles but if they tell you they have to kill you BS.....

[sanjuro_ronin]

This lower class of trolls and delusionals is quite bothersome :(

[Dale Dugas]

seems this troll is nothing new.

same old cowardly cupcake crap they will try and pontificate.

[taai gihk yahn]

can't you guys recognize the Hand of Takeshi when you see it?

[Lucas]

Eye of the mind of the tiger spirtual in the judo katana.

[taai gihk yahn]

Eye of the mind of the tiger spirtual in the judo katana.

:( <sigh> this place used to be so much more fun... :(

[Lucas]

:( <sigh> this place used to be so much more fun... :(

The quality level used to be of a higher standard I think.

[bawang]

:( <sigh> this place used to be so much more fun... :(

so does shaolin wookie really defend shaolin do or was he joking? i dont get it

[Syn7]

I want to believe that this guy is just trying to mess with people here, but unfortunately there are people that are this retarded. Doesn't make the future of humanity look very promising, does it?

[Lucas]

we have been discussing wisdom here:

http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=64838

[wenshu]

can't you guys recognize the Hand of Takeshi when you see it?

He has really fallen off; his post "Crenshaw Yoga and Dance" era material is already dated and irrelevant.

*returns to reading copy of Internet Troll Quarterly

[Drake]

I knew I was a real fighter when I was once covered in blood during a fight, and couldn't figure out if it was mine, theirs, or both.

[Syn7]

I knew I was a real fighter when I was once covered in blood during a fight, and couldn't figure out if it was mine, theirs, or both.

Doncha just hate that.


I got stabbed when I was 14 and I didn't even know until I felt the warm liquid running down me.

[JamesC]

When I worked at Walmart there was a guy that would tell you with a straight face that when he was a kid ninjas came into his room in the middle of the night and trained him every night.

He still works there.

[Scott R. Brown]

When I was twelve I was attacked by a gang of Nazi's at Hiroshima just before the bomb dropped. I used a very secret technique I learned from Leonidas at the battle of Thermopylae. He told me he learned this secret technique from a time traveler named Lukus who took him through time to a cafee shop in the land of many rains.

Then there was the time I fought Ghengis Khan and his angry hordes! That battle was epic!

Before I slew him using a secret technique that involves influenza that I learned from the Incredible Hulk before he was Incredible, Ghengie, that's what we used to call him in the old days, had cut off my left leg during the battle of Samarkand. I lay alone in little hut in a village on the outskirts of Samarkand....I can still smell the smoke of the burning village as I lay on the wet dirt of that hut....anyway, blood was gushing from my wound.....oh by the way, I had run there with my left leg under my arm, I think it was about 12 miles or so.......so I lay in the mud of this hut, the floor was muddy from all my blood of course.....because of the fire there will tiny little dormice running hither and thither. I would catch them one by one and using straw from the fields I would slowly transfuse my blood in an ancient manner taught to me by Galen.

After about 100 or so dormice, I finally had enough strength to sew my left left leg back on. I almost died a few times, but luckily for me I remembered a secret skill I learned from a Yeti in the Andes called CPR, and I performed it on myself bringing me back from the dead two or three times before I had enough blood to perform the minor surgery of leg reattachment. Then I continued my transfusions using dormice and sheep until I had regained my strength.

Just to demonstrate my superhumaness at this point, BEFORE I reattached my left leg I performed a deadlift using 324# for one rep of one set just using my right leg. While doing this I spoke, curiously enough, in a rainbow of colors. It was beautiful when I did it, but quite droll when others attempted to copy my creative genius!

AFTER I had reattached my left leg I could deadlift 325# for one set of one rep! I already know I am awesome so please don't tell me how awesome I am, I am above your praise!

Anyway....following my minor self-surgery I tracked down Ghengie and infected him with influenza and another special disease I helped Galen devise we eventually call AIDS. That was the end of Ghengie......

....Ah those were the days!!!

I will be happy to answer any questions!!!


(The book of my very eventful life will soon be released on Amazon, please be sure to click through the link on the Adam Carolla website in order to keep the pirate ship afloat!)

You are welcome, no autographs please.....I still haven't reattached my thumbs!!

[hskwarrior]

my teacher was taught these styles by a wandering monk known as chin. One day chin and my teacher sat down by a river. Chin said, "look how the water flows freely". When my teacher looked up from the stream, chin was gone, never to be seen again. I'll never forget this story - it emphasizes the speed and wisdom you can develop through training.

shut the fuk up!!!!!! omg are there really these kind of nuts out there? I thought shaolin do took the cake with jo jo the dog face boy.

[taai gihk yahn]

He has really fallen off; his post "Crenshaw Yoga and Dance" era material is already dated and irrelevant.

*returns to reading copy of Internet Troll Quarterly
that, along w Shaolin poetry, was definitey a watershed thread; also his recurring riff of "I did 'x', which demonstrates how 'y' I am." was highly laudable; of course, that was then, now it's just derivative...



omg are there really these kind of nuts out there? I thought shaolin do took the cake with jo jo the dog face boy.
nah Frank, it's just a goof, don't sweat it...

[RenDaHai]

When I lived in the Shaolin Temple, the monks thought I was lazy because I slept all day. But in reality at night I would travel to the pagoda forest, the graveyard of shaolin heroes, and learn Kung Fu from the ghosts of long dead masters. They call me the Shaolin Ghost Master.