the parable of david ross

[bawang]

general qi jiguang had command of a quarter of the ming empires soldiers. when he sent mail to corrupt officials, he always ended the letter with "your humble lapdog/your ever loyal minion"


when corrupt official held a poem writing party, yue fei pushed him off his seat, drank a full cup of wine and wrote, "when the city is burning, you can write some more".

general qi sacrificed his dignity to keep fighting, instead of ending up like yue fei.

[GeneChing]

You gotz a fanboy, lkfmdc. :p

[David Jamieson]

You gotz a fanboy, lkfmdc. :p

I think he has at least 2.

[Golden Arms]

Schizophrenia

[taai gihk yahn]

the last day or so on this forum has been the equivalent of snugging with a favorite blanket from infanthood;

an old, threadbare, second-hand smoke infused, pee and vomit stained blanket, but a favorite no less

good times, good times...

[David Jamieson]

lol...soooo warmmmm...but it stinks....warmmmmm....stinky! warmmmm. :p

[bawang]

the last day or so on this forum has been the equivalent of snugging with a favorite blanket from infanthood;

an old, threadbare, second-hand smoke infused, pee and vomit stained blanket, but a favorite no less

good times, good times...

me too mang. brings back magical times, i feel young again

its like that 5 day old kfc chicken leg, you microwave it and know its gonna give you diarrhea, but it still tastes good.

[taai gihk yahn]

me too mang. brings back magical times, i feel young again

its like that 5 day old kfc chicken leg, you microwave it and know its gonna give you diarrhea, but it still tastes good.

ain't nothing give u the runs like 5-day old KFC; except maybe 3-day old Red Lobster...

[MasterKiller]

This thread:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nmd5JfPEo4

[Scott R. Brown]

Ahhhhhh! The good old days are good new days again!!!!:)

[lkfmdc]

It is, for what it is worth, exactly what I told two of my esteemed collegues

[Drake]

I like Dave Ross. He made DJ throw a fit, and that was awesome.

[David Jamieson]

I like Dave Ross. He made DJ throw a fit, and that was awesome.

I threw a fit did I?

cool.

when? :p

[taai gihk yahn]

not for nothing, it's the liveliest morning forum's had for some time, lol...

[David Jamieson]

Lively yes! :p

[JamesC]

I feel whole again.

Ross, I offer our member Lucas for sacrifice. Does this please you?

[Bernard]

I feel whole again.

Ross, I offer our member Lucas for sacrifice. Does this please you?

It has to a virgin sacrifice or its no go. Unless you know something we don't....

[MightyB]

It has to a virgin sacrifice or its no go. Unless you know something we don't....

Everyone knows Lucas is a virgin. Duh.

[Bernard]

Everyone knows Lucas is a virgin. Duh.

http://www.freewebs.com/nztruthgroup/simpsons_blood_sacrifice3.JPG

[Raipizo]

Lucas also wears togas. Rest in peace sweet prince.

[Lucas]

The strength of the Virgin Warrior.... the power of mist over a mountain.

[lkfmdc]

It has to a virgin sacrifice



half the forum ran out of here shrieking in terror

[Lucas]

I stand strong with my virgin power.

[GeneChing]

bawang, as usual, has found a loophole, and is eager to deflower you to save you from this horrible fate.

[taai gihk yahn]

bawang, as usual, has found a loophole, and is eager to deflower you to save you from this horrible fate.

I thot he only buggered the neighbor's dog at 2 AM...

[GeneChing]

2 AM approacheth...

[lkfmdc]

I thot he only buggered the neighbor's dog at 2 AM...

The dog stopped returning his calls....

[Bernard]

"Sacrifice in March, corn have plenty starch."

[Lucas]

No romance by force!!!!! If he does that then I lose all my virgin powers.

[Blacktiger]

Wow the MA anti-christ is back, was getting a bit civil and dull round here.

I wonder if Gene has a kill switch wired into Daves PC for DEFCON 1 threads?

In any case its great to have him back, loud - but he speaks the truth :D

[GeneChing]

civil and dull Spoken like a true martial artist.
Your kung fu must be the realz. :)

[lkfmdc]

Wow the MA anti-christ is back



and people wondered why the Pope stepped down :rolleyes:

[Bernard]

Wow the MA anti-christ is back, was getting a bit civil and dull round here.

I wonder if Gene has a kill switch wired into Daves PC for DEFCON 1 threads?

In any case its great to have him back, loud - but he speaks the truth :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NB0ZwyhTxZI

[Blacktiger]

Who would have thought..... he has unified us all on the forum and has brought everyone back out of the woodwork today.

Putting the ying in the yang ya'll ;)

[Bernard]

And His coming was foretold in the Book of BaWang. He will come with a Vengeance on David, Son of Jamie. The Warring Trolls will unite across the Forums of Ching. And the Virgin Warrior, Pure-Hearted Lucas shall be offered up in Sacrifice to appease His Wrath. His Truth will ring in the hearts of the Kickboxers, and They shall be Glorified forevermore. Peace be upon you, Internet Traveler. ;)

[lkfmdc]

This is both amusing and frightening all at the same time.....

[EarthDragon]

pops popcorn sits back, sips soda.....................

[Dale Dugas]

http://i.imgur.com/rmGjNYg.gif

[Kellen Bassette]

Did Dale just meme himself?

[MightyB]

Did Dale just meme himself?

Sweet. New trend.

[GeneChing]

This is both amusing and frightening all at the same time..... I second this, but about the self meme-ing trend.

[lkfmdc]

by the way, for those of you who thought I really left forever, you all have such short memories! Do you not forget my birthday gift to Gene Ching!

http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showpost.php?p=845423&postcount=54

[GeneChing]

71. LKFMDC's pledge to never leave the forum (just to keep it interesting) What kind of OCD fevered brain remembers a post like that from half a decade ago? :eek:


:p

[taai gihk yahn]

What kind of OCD fevered brain remembers a post like that from half a decade ago? :eek:


:p

U really hav to ask that?

[Bernard]

And His coming was foretold in the Book of BaWang. He will come with a Vengeance on David, Son of Jamie. The Warring Trolls will unite across the Forums of Ching. And the Virgin Warrior, Pure-Hearted Lucas shall be offered up in Sacrifice to appease His Wrath. His Truth will ring in the hearts of the Kickboxers, and They shall be Glorified forevermore. Peace be upon you, Internet Traveler. ;)


This is both amusing and frightening all at the same time.....


pops popcorn sits back, sips soda.....................


I second this, but about the self meme-ing trend.

All great Horror movies have sequels.... :p

[lkfmdc]

What kind of OCD fevered brain remembers a post like that from half a decade ago? :eek:


:p

I only found it because YOU posted a link to your old birthday thread :rolleyes:

[Kellen Bassette]

All great Horror movies have sequels.... :p

A lot of the bad ones too! :cool:

[lkfmdc]

U really hav to ask that?

/\ see above, that mind is GENE CHING....

[Bernard]

A lot of the bad ones too! :cool:

Too true.... :D

[Dale Dugas]

http://i.imgur.com/PQTjzLY.jpg

[lkfmdc]

who is the kill joy that moved this? :mad:

[Kellen Bassette]

You should post a fearsome picture of you eating a cupcake with the caption reading, "Your next!"

[taai gihk yahn]

who is the kill joy that moved this? :mad:

I guess u have been reclassified as "off topic"; ah well, sooner or later it happens to all of us I suppose...

[GeneChing]

/\ see above, that mind is GENE CHING.... Well, I'm paid to be here. Well, sort of...:o


who is the kill joy that moved this? :mad: It'll actually get more presence here, as the OT forum is slower so it'll be on the first page longer. That being said, I didn't move it. I might have, had I thought about it more. I could look up who moved it, but I'm not going to do that. I'm hoping it was one of our quieter mods - they are the sneakiest.


You should post a fearsome picture of you eating a cupcake with the caption reading, "Your next!" Oh don't encourage him.

[lkfmdc]

I could look up who moved it, but I'm not going to do that.



tease :mad:

[Yum Cha]

http://i.imgur.com/PQTjzLY.jpg

Dale, I've always thought "The Beard" was one of Kimbo's secret weapons...

[sanjuro_ronin]

“There was a man name Gene Ching who had many trouble makers. The one know as David Ross said to Gene, ‘My Liege, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property to him.

“Not long after that, Dave Ross got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe lack of practical martial arts in that whole country, and he began to see the need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who rejoiced in his teachings ( and free incentives). Yet He longed to fill his stomach with the the readings of Kung fu forums.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘I must return to the kung fu forums! I will set out and go back to Gene and say to him: My Liege, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called LKFMDC; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to Gene Ching.

“But while he was still a long way off, Gene CHing saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to him, threw his arms around him !

“Dave Ross said to him, ‘My Liege, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy of your forum’

“But Gene Ching said to his moderators, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

“Meanwhile, David Jamieson was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and Our Liege has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

“DJ became angry and refused to go in. So Gene Ching went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his Liege, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this forum poster of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

“‘My moderator,’ Gene Ching said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

[Kellen Bassette]

Nice retelling Sanjuro. That must be from the NIV, it reads a bit different in King James.

Personally, I think LKFMDC and DJ should have a grudge match. Jamieson will be oiled with Quebec's finest maple syrup, Ross with upstate New York's. Whoever is knocked off the Lei Tai first will be forever Bawang's personal slave.

[David Jamieson]

The prodigal son? Really?

Did you copy paste that and replace the names? :p

[David Jamieson]

Nice retelling Sanjuro. That must be from the NIV, it reads a bit different in King James.

Personally, I think LKFMDC and DJ should have a grudge match. Jamieson will be oiled with Quebec's finest maple syrup, Ross with upstate New York's. Whoever is knocked off the Lei Tai first will be forever Bawang's personal slave.

But I have no grudge...

Anybody got a spare one?

[taai gihk yahn]

“There was a man name Gene Ching who had many trouble makers. The one know as David Ross said to Gene, ‘My Liege, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property to him.

“Not long after that, Dave Ross got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe lack of practical martial arts in that whole country, and he began to see the need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who rejoiced in his teachings ( and free incentives). Yet He longed to fill his stomach with the the readings of Kung fu forums.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘I must return to the kung fu forums! I will set out and go back to Gene and say to him: My Liege, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called LKFMDC; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to Gene Ching.

“But while he was still a long way off, Gene CHing saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to him, threw his arms around him !

“Dave Ross said to him, ‘My Liege, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy of your forum’

“But Gene Ching said to his moderators, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

“Meanwhile, David Jamieson was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and Our Liege has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

“DJ became angry and refused to go in. So Gene Ching went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his Liege, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this forum poster of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

“‘My moderator,’ Gene Ching said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
I bow humbly at thy recounting of this tale, and verily, bestoweth upon thee as laureled victory this thing that calleth they "the Internetz" as recompense for the telling...




Bring the fattened calf and kill it.
dang, Lucas just can't seem to catch a break around here this week...

[Kellen Bassette]

But I have no grudge...

Anybody got a spare one?

I'll loan you one of mine, if it will help raise interest in maple syrup and sanda fighting.

[GeneChing]

You know what a soft spot I have for the good book. ;)

Now go back to posting pix of hotties.

[David Jamieson]

You know what a soft spot I have for the good book. ;)

Now go back to posting pix of hotties.

Bible Tits!

[taai gihk yahn]

Bible Tits!

it's been done...

http://www.jessicakender.com/gallery_images/03_AO.jpg

[Lucas]

dang, Lucas just can't seem to catch a break around here this week...

We all have a purpose, my friend.

Wyrd bið ful aræd!!

[sanjuro_ronin]

The prodigal son? Really?

Did you copy paste that and replace the names? :p

Yep, I wasn't going to put THAT much work into it, LOL !

[sanjuro_ronin]

You know what a soft spot I have for the good book. ;)

Now go back to posting pix of hotties.

My Liege,
http://fivehourfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/pool-hottie.jpg

[David Jamieson]

it's been done...

http://www.jessicakender.com/gallery_images/03_AO.jpg

Oh sweet ***** of Babylon.

Show us your Bible Tits!

[sanjuro_ronin]

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media/jj1/2011/01/belle-jezebel/camilla-belle-jezebel-06.jpg

[David Jamieson]

They photoshopped her pores out...

she has no pores!

[sanjuro_ronin]

They photoshopped her pores out...

she has no pores!

A creation of Satan to tempt mortal man !!!
:D

[David Jamieson]

A creation of Satan to tempt mortal man !!!
:D

wait...so are you saying that Satan, Lord of Darkness, Prince of Pain, is actually Jimmy the graphics intern at Jezebel Magazine?

That's amazing! So amazing, it could be true!!!!

[sanjuro_ronin]

wait...so are you saying that Satan, Lord of Darkness, Prince of Pain, is actually Jimmy the graphics intern at Jezebel Magazine?

That's amazing! So amazing, it could be true!!!!

One of his many minions !!!
http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/3779/galleryenlargedselitaeb.jpg

[David Jamieson]

ok...well that one is a little creepy...