LAST NIGHT

[David]

Someone I know went out last night with his girl and there was a situation where a guy nicked this guy's wallet. He got it back but the thief had a real bad attitude and threatened my friend with big words about knives. My friend prepared for the worst but didn't start a fight and eventually got the guy thrown out to the sound of more dire threats to my friend.

My friend's girlfriend knew he did kungfu and wanted her man to kick ass. My friend doesn't want to be violent if unnecessary. They argued very badly about it. My friend feels his girlfriend let him down seriously by jeopardizing his security. The girlfriend feels her man let him down by not strutting his stuff.

This is very upsetting for the person involved and he really doesn't know how he can win. If he doesn't fight he loses the girl's respect and if he does fight he loses self-respect.

Anyone else had this happen? What can I say to make it better?

The powers of Kung Fu never fail!
-- Hong Kong Phooey

[marycatherine]

Hey David,
Upon reading your post, I was brainstorming on you friend's situation. I wonder if it would help to have him explain to her that because kung fu is so powerful by those attempting to master it, you can really do serious harm to a person. And that can later involve lawsuits and legal proceedings. I wonder if she's seen too many well-choreographed martial arts flicks? Many times they are very cut and dry, and often quite one-sided. I would have her attend a class at his school so that she would better understand the exertion and power behind kung fu and the fundamentals we learn as students. If it makes any difference, I totally respect your pal for not just falling back on the "I know kung fu" bit.

[Wongsifu]

his girl has a problem in the head if she wants to see a fight tell her to go rent some ufc matches.

what do bin laden and general custer have in common????
They're both wondering where the fu(k all of those tomahawks are coming from. - donated by mojo

[SevenStar]

I agree with Wong...the chick has issues. She should be happy that neither him or her were hurt, not ****ed because he didn't fight. What if the guy really had a knife? She would've witnessed her man getting cut up. How woulds she feel then? Mine wants to see me fight to, but IN THE RING, not on the street.

"Just because I joke around sometimes doesn't mean I'm serious about kung-fu.
" - nightair

[Xebsball]

Screw the girl, she should understand him, wtf? This "My man should have kicked his ass" attitude, what sort of crap is that? I'd kick HER ass.

-------------------------
"I AM EFFECTIVNESS"

[LEGEND]

I had this issue with one of my ex before...and let me tell u this...DUMP HER! She's SELFISH! She wants to see her man fight for her. Think about it...what about the MAN's welfare...what would happen if the MAN got whipped or knived or shot...she sounds like the type to go on the winning side...no excuses...she's BITTTCHHHH!!! DUMP HER NOW!!!

A

[Cody]

I'm dismayed at those women who can't wait for their boyfriends or husbands to play the great warrior role, inappropriately. I've seen where a woman will try to provoke violence this way by purposefully approaching the threatening person and verbally taunting him and infringing on his space.

While it appears like the issue of respect -- respect of the woman for the man, and respect of the man for himself for doing the "right" thing by the lady(?)-- is at stake, it's not simple.

I think that the man who succumbs to this pressure has a problem, possibly a serious one. In the end, self respect can be determined only by doing what he believes in his heart to be the right thing at the time. That takes into account making an error and learning from it. If his self respect hinges on escalating avoidable confrontations spurred by the little woman, he's a hurting dude and needs to change how he sees himself.

The woman might go for winners, as was pointed out. Or she might get her thrills having her man go out and bust someone for her. Respect really doesn't come into it, except that she might have low self respect herself, and it's her way of kicking ass vicariously.

The dynamics between a couple who get into the sort of pattern alluded to here, especially once the pattern goes on automatic, are destructive to both partners.

Your friend's concerns are legit. He was right. Heck, I would have been thrilled that he got the wallet back without a fight. He doesn't see how he can win? I do. Find someone who loves him for who he is, for his good judgment in a hot situation, for his caring. Find someone who won't get him harmed on a whim.

Cody

(a girl's opinion)

[Silumkid]

I think Legend hit it dead on. I had a g/f like this once...at the drop of a hat she was always saying "My b/f knows martial arts, he's gonna kick your ass!" And if I didn't she'd get mad...because I made HER look bad! Anyhow, she's my EX. It didn't take long for that get old real quick.

Now I have a g/f who won't let me fight when I want to. *sigh* From one extreme to another, I suppose. Such is the yin/yang of my life. ;)

We are trained in wushu; we must protect the Temple!

[Ryu]

You know I usually try to see the middle path in things, but there's sometimes in life where you indeed have to take an extreme.

Women with that attitude are without the doubt the biggest pet peeve of mine.
I agree with all others.
Tell your friend to drop her like a bad habit.

He should welcome her to dumpsville; population:
her.

:mad:

I hate women with that attitude, she doesn't love him. Trust me.

Ryu

http://judoinfo.com/images/kimuraosawa.jpg


"One who takes pride in shallow knowledge or understanding is like a monkey who delights in adorning itself with garbage."

[Gatekeeper]

Sounds like she would go out and pick fights for him. Who's the BEOTCH in this relationship?

The Gatekeeper

[MonkeySlap Too]

Dump her now. Find a girl that has a brain as well as a bust. THere are good ones out there.

From the description she is very childish.

"Poor is the pupil who
does not surpass his
master" - Leonardo Da
Vinci

[Kung Lek]

He did what a kung fu person by definition "should" do. She, on the other hand is immature.
They can work it out amongst themselves.

peace

Kung Lek

Martial Arts Links (http://members.home.net/kunglek)

[Jeff Liboiron]

I gotta give the guy a pat on the pack for getting his wallet back without fighting. I would of definately tried to do the same thing.

If i had a girlfriend and she said that, i'd tell her to go fight the guy that robbed me. If she wants to start it, she can finish it to :)

Perhaps this is why i don't have a girlfriend :)

The object is not to hurt someone else, but to stop them from hurting you

[NorthernMantis]

He should have looked at her and said "it's people like you who will never be allowed to learn kung fu" and just leave

"Always be ready"

"right, that's it!you've insulted me, and you've insulted the shaolin temple!"-Fish of Furry

[honorisc]

Gals, please be offended. Girls will be girls. This is a stereotype, no matter how well deserved and true in nearly every case of pouty No Knows what they want and whatever for the moment. Then off to the next distraction. Boys are just there to be practice for their womanly craft of manipulation until they get to the political arena...

She couldn't care less~ but gives lots...(hmmm?)... Women have a tough life. Perhaps everyone does but to be everyone plus a woman ~ that's suffering-ish. There is so much stuff on females (in perhaps E V E R Y culture/society) They are trained and ingrained to develop mental toughness, and misdirection (she must not allow you to know her Every thought. Whatever you do know, she allows :-) )

There are alot of people with quirks. Younger people spend their time together to learn themselves. So, even if they don't stay together they will have learned more what they want or~ develop as individuals. While her attitude is off~ She is likely On-ish, in several ways of thinking and should not necessarily be dismissed for that one err in think. He can learn to stick to his guns--stand by his beliefs. Kung-Fu has different whatevers, but one is~, Kung-Fu means doing what's right even when no one will accept you for it (stereotype of what it means to Kung-Fu~.

Until you find the Right One~, enjoy the ones you find.

Your friend needs to know in his Heart that he did good and that it will be years to decades before he realizes (stereotypically) if it was fear or smarts that had him act that way. And that doing what he "should do"- as per the say from Kung Lek, sometimes, has to be enough. Some-such~

Very some such, perhaps might have been, likely say some, some not.

[jimmy23]

your friend should dump the chick, shes scum


"You guys have obviously never done any real fighting if you are mocking spitting"
Spinning Backfist

[jun_erh]

that's just about the worst thing a girl can do to a guy, try and get him to fight over her...

[Budokan]

He needs to tell this stupid c*nt-stain to grow up. And maybe he needs to re-evaluate his life with this stupid b*tch.

K. Mark Hoover

[rogue]

She probably flirts with guys to get a rise out of him too.

Dumb the broad.

"Americans don't have the courage to come here," Mullah Mohammed Omar, leader of the Taliban


There is only one tactical principle which is not subject to change; it is, 'To use the means at hand to inflict the maximum amount of wounds, death, and destruction on the enemy in the minimum amount of time.' Patton

[Sharky]

question is, does she suck a good ****? if so, it may not be so easy to dump her.

remember you might have to settle for choking the chicken for a while if you do.

"Any holes a goal"

All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.

[David]

Thanks for the posts there guys and gals. Just printed the whole lot off. I think alcohol and a bad day may have combined to exascerbate the situation beyond what either would normally sink to but anyhow...

[JWTAYLOR]

Print this out and have him read it to her:

"Welcome to Dumpsville, population you."

I think that will get the point across nicely.

JWT

If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV

[origenx]

It's women like her that are the root of all evil!

How many stupid things do men often do to impress chix?

This guy got the wallet back and ended the confrontation without violence or lawsuits. That would have been the perfect ending...until SHE starts raining on the parade. So now his b*tch is whining cuz he acted mature and non-violent? LOL! When women complain that men are macho a-holes, this is why! They drive men to it. Too many women mistake kindness/compassion for weakness. Hence, bad boys rule and nice guys finish last!

[This message was edited by origenx on 11-05-01 at 08:15 AM.]

[LEGEND]

Originex is correct...but also keep in mind BOYZ...be nice but don't be soft. Don't cave into BS and u'll last longer. BE STRONG! And eventually u'll know if she is the ONE or u need to move on.

WWW.ASKMEN.COM (http://WWW.ASKMEN.COM)

A

[JWTAYLOR]

If she keeps bit(hing wanting him to fight print this out and have him read it to her:

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't told her twice already."

See if she gets the point now.

JWT

If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV

[IronFist]

Dump the bìtch.

"Welcome to dumpsville. Population: You."

Iron

[ewallace]

He should get it on with her one more time. Then, when he is done, look in her eyes, tell her fuuk you very much...and leave, never to talk to her again.

Victory goes to he who makes the next-to-last mistake.

[toddbringewatt]

Sounds like a real winner of a girl :rolleyes:

"Bruce Leroy. That's who!"

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

he should have one of the girls from his class kick her ass pretty good and then ask her if she wants to avoid her next fight or play toughgirl.

where's my beer?