The 36 Chambers of the KungFuMagazine.com Forum

[GeneChing]

In response to my quote of the week (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1248453#post1248453) and in honor of one of the greatest Shaolin Kung Fu movies ever (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42972), please fill in the rest.

Chamber 1: Register at KungFuMagazine.com Forums (random question) (http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/forum/register.php)
Chamber 2: bawang
Chamber 3:
Chamber 4:
Chamber 5:
Chamber 6:
Chamber 7:
Chamber 8:
Chamber 9:
Chamber 10:
Chamber 11:
Chamber 12:
Chamber 13:
Chamber 14:
Chamber 15:
Chamber 16:
Chamber 17:
Chamber 18:
Chamber 19:
Chamber 20:
Chamber 21:
Chamber 22:
Chamber 23:
Chamber 24:
Chamber 25:
Chamber 26:
Chamber 27:
Chamber 28:
Chamber 29:
Chamber 30:
Chamber 31:
Chamber 32:
Chamber 33:
Chamber 34:
Chamber 35:
Chamber 36: Gene Ching asking "How many times have you read Kung Fu Tai Chi magazine (http://www.martialartsmart.com/19341.html)?" and then qi blasting you out of the chamber and on to your ass.

[mickey]

Chamber 3: YouKnowWho - If you can't out throw him, just say, "right click". and he will let you pass.

Chamber 4: SPJ - If you cannot surpass his martial world view, sing an emotional Chinese song in a nice feminine falsetto; if you do not know Chinese, sing the word "Mothra" a few times. He will tear up and let you pass.

Chamber 5: Jimbo - Mention a kung fu movie that he has seen and he will tear up and let you pass. Mention a kung fu movie that he hasn't seen and he will kill you on the spot. He can't handle that kinda sh!t.

Chamber 6: -N- Just recite the Enter the Dragon banquet scene monologue like his Sifu did and he will rip your eyes out, tear up and let you pass.

[-N-]

Just recite the Enter the Dragon banquet scene monologue like his Sifu did [...]

LOL, that was classic :)

[mickey]

Chamber 7: sanjuro ronin - Just say, "Are you lookin' at me!!? Are you lookin' at me???", a la Deniro and he will not tear up; he will back off to the side and let you pass, realizing that your mindset is just as shot as his. Try to be nice and smiley and offer a handshake he will reciprocate the same while putting something soft and squishy in your hand.............your heart.


Chamber 8: David Jamieson - Put a carton of Massengil's feminine wash in his hands, and quickly run by while he is trying to untangle his confusion. To try to do anything otherwise will result in you using the aforementioned product for the rest of your life because he would have ripped you one, a real pretty one with incredible sensitivity.

[Yum Cha]

Chamber 9: Hall of Trolls - Its all an illusion populated by monsterous man-eating maulers and scary deadly eye-pickers and throat rippers that are nothing more than teen-age fantasy. Fear and pride are your only true enemies, you simply have to wade through the gauntlet of polysyllabic latinate conjugates to pass.

[mickey]

Chamber 10: ngokfei - Promise to get him a speaking part in the movie "Edward Scissorhands 2" and he will tear up and let you pass. Whatever you do, don't say "Oriental". The last person who did that was stared into nothingness.

[Yum Cha]

Chambre 11: Tea Room - The most deadly of all, the chambers - stops many people dead in their progress. Comfy chairs and tables invite you to sit, drink tea and have-a-chat about everything you've already done.
Its the source of the "Na, there are only 11" crowd.

[mickey]

Chamber 12: Hendrik - Just tell him that the entire cache of Hanna Barbera cartoons were allegorical and contained advanced theories specifically pertinent to Wing Chun and that you will gladly talk with him about those cartoons and theories after you have completed the 36 Chambers. He will tear up and enthusiastically let you pass while screaming, "Yes! Yes!!Yesss!!!

[mickey]

Chamber 13: doug maverick - At the time of this writing, doug maverick is sitting in his chamber, in the corner, in the dark, after telling everyone on this forum that he likes to shamelessly plug Gene. Just say nothing and walk through. Keep cotton in your ears because if he sees you, he will desperately try to explain that he did not intend to write that. The last guy who did nothing to block his hearing went insane.


Chamber 14: hskwarrior - His chamber has a window. Just have a recorder broadcast the sounds, "Oh Eee Ah Oh Ummm" and he will run to the window and will be so looking to the skies, he will not see you walk by.

[mickey]

Chamber 15: Scott R. Brown - He will tell you up front, "You can't out think me. You can't out fight me! What can you do?" Just say, "bawang is my good friend." He will tear up and say (voice cracking) "That's sick. Get the fukouttahere!" There are times when words do more damage than sticks and stones.

[GeneChing]

Not to derail progress too much here, but now I feel remiss in my description of the 2nd chamber.

Chamber 2: bawang
I feel I should fill this out more, but I can't seem to come up with anything that doesn't go to 'anoos' so I'll just leave that to someone else.

Keep Training & Carry On!

[Kellen Bassette]

Not to derail progress too much here, but now I feel remiss in my description of the 2nd chamber.

I feel I should fill this out more, but I can't seem to come up with anything that doesn't go to 'anoos' so I'll just leave that to someone else.

Keep Training & Carry On!

Chamber 2 is segregated. No tightey whiteys.

[Kellen Bassette]

Chamber 2: Bawang - He will let you pass once you successfully decipher his Zen like riddles and drink from the Sacred Fountain of Hei Yuan. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbwjfe5BbGc

Lol...I thought that was weak until I watched the video...well played Sir!

[Kellen Bassette]

Chamber 16 you must choose between fighting LKFMDC, or carrying on a conversation with him... :eek::p

[mickey]

Chamber 16: MasterKiller - With this master, you must feign injury. Say, "I'll fight you but don't hit me here." He'll come back with, "As long as you don't hit me there" Keep dat sh!t going back and forth with a whole bunch of injuries. Eventually, he will get so filled up with empathy over your "condition", he will let you pass.

[Kellen Bassette]

Chamber 17: The Wing Chun Forum.

The only way to survive is to use this superior logic to trump their brilliant theories.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp_l5ntikaU

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/newuploads/s4jc9.jpg

[Syn7]

Not to derail progress too much here, but now I feel remiss in my description of the 2nd chamber.

I feel I should fill this out more, but I can't seem to come up with anything that doesn't go to 'anoos' so I'll just leave that to someone else.

Keep Training & Carry On!

Anything about ronnie coleman will do.

[GeneChing]

Chamber 2: Bawang - He will let you pass once you successfully decipher his Zen like riddles and drink from the Sacred Fountain of Hei Yuan. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbwjfe5BbGc
I am now sorry I asked. Well played, dlcox.

[mickey]

Chamber 18: This is a speak easy that bawang was given permission to establish. Knock on the door and you will hear a voice (think voice of James Hong):

Voice: What's in the sky"

You: The moon.

V: Is it full?

Y: Full of longing.

V: What side?

Y: The dark side.

V: How long to bone?

Y: 'Til the cows come home.

V:Why work it...

Y: When you can twerk it.

V: How do you handle viscosity?

Y: Lube

V: And if you're from.......'Frisco?

Y: Crisco

(Door opens, hinges squeal)

V: ENTAAH MY SPHINCT-DAAAHHH!

[-N-]

Chamber 19: If you complete reading the entire Shaolin-Do thread, you may pass to the next level.

[PalmStriker]

Chamber 20 : Chen Village Portal where you will not be taught any Tai Chi. :) Nor shown the way back.

[Raipizo]

Chamber 21: Dale Dugas. This chamber requires you to don a kilt and beard. Don't poke fun at him or he'll label you a net ghost and you will be barred from testing the chamber ever again :p

[Raipizo]

Chamber 22: Lay to rest the thread of W.j.m and Bruce lee. The true winner was Ashida Kim all along and he defeated both of them with his elite ninja army, they both covered it up by arguing to the media and amongst each other to hide the shame of their loss.

[Raipizo]

I have another idea for the bawang chamber, top his vast knowledge of Kung fu and chinese history, he always seems to know everything. Or better yet find his source and destroy it rendering him defeated.

[doug maverick]

Chamber 13: doug maverick - At the time of this writing, doug maverick is sitting in his chamber, in the corner, in the dark, after telling everyone on this forum that he likes to shamelessly plug Gene. Just say nothing and walk through. Keep cotton in your ears because if he sees you, he will desperately try to explain that he did not intend to write that. The last guy who did nothing to block his hearing went insane.


Chamber 14: hskwarrior - His chamber has a window. Just have a recorder broadcast the sounds, "Oh Eee Ah Oh Ummm" and he will run to the window and will be so looking to the skies, he will not see you walk by.

how the hell did i even get in this thing?

[RenDaHai]

Chamber 17: The Wing Chun Forum.

The only way to survive is to use this superior logic to trump their brilliant theories.


Chamber 17 additional; To pass you must come up with a one sentence description of the 'Bong Sao' that EVERYONE on the WC forum agrees with unanimously.

[Scott R. Brown]

I have another idea for the bawang chamber, top his vast knowledge of Kung fu and chinese history, he always seems to know everything. Or better yet find his source and destroy it rendering him defeated.

He makes it all up! That is why no one will get past his chamber, which is the key to getting past his chamber.

You can only get past his chamber by not trying to get past his chamber. For, his chamber is not a chamber, it is a riddle without a solution.

The only solution, then, is to not seek a solution to a problem that was never a problem to begin with.

Then, you may pass!:eek: Cuz you will never get passed MY chamber!:p

[wenshu]

Chamber 23: Wenshu - You will be handed a pair of golden chopsticks. You must successfully remove all nits from this man's groin while Wenshu insults your inferior technique. Only then, when all 108 nits have been collected may you pass. If you fail, lather, rinse, repeat. :)

Wrong.

That man is wenshu.

[bawang]

david ross.

[mickey]

Chamber 25: uki - What ever you do, do not try to fight this guy. He is so delusional that his technique is amazing. Just get a large container of liquid soap and start squirting it at him. Don't mind the shrieks, just keep doing it. When the container is empty, go and come back with a fire hose, aim it at him and threaten to rinse. He will tear up and let you pass.

[mickey]

Chamber 26: taai gihk yah - : taai gihk yahn is into heavy, scholarly, pron. The last person who made him tear up and was allowed to pass this gate gave him one of "those" books with the title,"The Logistics of Intense Nocturnal Repetitive Actons and Its Effects on Consciousness." The title was enough for TGY to grab some paper towels and scurry away.

[Jimbo]

Chamber 5: Jimbo - Mention a kung fu movie that he has seen and he will tear up and let you pass. Mention a kung fu movie that he hasn't seen and he will kill you on the spot. He can't handle that kinda sh!t.


Lol, good one! :D

Chamber 27 - mickey: mickey's chamber is criss-crossed with resistance bands of progressively higher tension levels. The only way to pass is to thoroughly familiarize yourself with the layout of his chamber, pass through to the halfway point, then use the heavy-tension bands to propel you like a slingshot right past mickey. He will tear up realizing you used his own chamber against him.

;)

[mickey]

Greetings Jimbo,

That was pretty good considering that though I frequent this board often, I am very much a phantom presence. I must work at revealing less.

You automatically pass my Chamber.


mickey

[mickey]

Chamber 28: SIFU RON - Just say the words "Wang Chun" and he will tear up and let you pass.

Let me explain it to you.

There is video footage floating around with him performing a Wing Chun dance to "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" (he is fixated on the belief that Wan Chung is actually Wing Chun) What makes the video horrific is that he is wearing a headband, jockey shorts, tube socks, canvas Converse and body glitter. One would think this was some old video footage, but it was done in 2012.

If you don't know what I am referring to, musically,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7Kre4_fFek

[David Jamieson]

Chamber 30: the chamber of ****s.

You might wanna run through this one. Don't touch the butt lined walls.

[mickey]

Chamber 31: SimonM - This master wants to dust you off quickly so he can focus on taking his kung fu "to the next level", WHATEVER that means. When he assumes his fight posture, do not reciprocate. simply ask to discuss "the particulars". When he asks for clarification keep repeating "the particulars" and keep doing so for every attempt of his to understand you. He will eventually flip out, falling to the ground, convulsing, while frothing at the mouth. Proceed to the next chamber.

[mickey]

Chamber 32: SoCo KungFu - Present him with something incredibly weighted to wear so he can train his light skill. Insist that he try it on. Then ask him, "Do you really know why you were placed in this chamber?" When he inquires why, just say, "It's a CONSPIRACY!!!," and start running for your life, for he will go into a screaming rage and chase after you with the intent to kill. The weighted gift will slow him down enough for you to make it out of there alive. If you are impaired, don't do this. Just rip your throat out now.

[mickey]

Chamber 33: Vash - This master is incredibly vain and truly savors any laudation thrown his way. When you arrive at his chamber be polite and then say something like, "Arent you Vash, the Noble Hand of Isshin?" He will blush uncontrollably. He will let you pass.

Chamber 34: Beyonce's alter ego, Sasha - If you do not know what to do with Sasha, you need help. Instead, just let me know and I will step in. I promise you, she will joyously tear up and let you pass.


Chamber 35: Donnie Yen - You will have to take a strike from this guy. When you receive the strike, wince up and say, "I'm gonna tell your Mama!" He will freeze in his tracks, tear up, bowing his head while looking up and down at you and the ground, and he will let you pass.

[mickey]

DONE!!!!


Chambers 2-35 completed


mickey

[David Jamieson]

There will be no reward. :(

[mickey]

Greetings,

How do you know that?

I'm going to have to reassign your chamber for talking rubbish like that.


mickey

[David Jamieson]

I try to live in a pathless land, so a lack of chambers for me would not be too disconcerting. :)

[mickey]

Totally Untrue,

Because it took you ALL NIGHT to think that one up. You were fixated, dude. FIXATED!!

Oh, I forgot. You need to have the last word. Sorry. :)


mickey

[David Jamieson]

Totally Untrue,

Because it took you ALL NIGHT to think that one up. You were fixated, dude. FIXATED!!

Oh, I forgot. You need to have the last word. Sorry. :)


mickey

lol, I go to bed too you know.
Please, I need this... :p

[GeneChing]

Thanks for playing. :)

Maybe we can do a sequel in the future.

[David Jamieson]

Thanks for playing. :)

Maybe we can do a sequel in the future.

...the 72 consummate quirks of kfm posters?

...the 18 basic delusions of kfm posters?

:D

I kid...I kid!

[Djuan]

:eek: what chamber am I in?

[GeneChing]

:eek: what chamber am I in? :p:p:p

Sometimes I think I'm here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ybHbxz7vQ

Other times I think I'm still trying to sneak in as a stowaway on the vegetable cart.

Most of the time, I think I'm in the iron head chamber. That's my favorite chamber.

[Djuan]

I'm always climbing in the veggie cart and then falling out of it. If I can manage the ride up the hill I'll be good to go! lol

and that 1st (35th) Chamber scene hits home, & is probably about right.
ironically, recently been telling myself I need to read a bit of a sutra each day, and have been meaning to implement time into my mornings for it, only takes about 5 to 15 minutes.
only book I actually own (I dont want to google sutras every day lol) is a translation by Kosei of the Lotus sutra
its weird the more I train the more I actually feel I owe it.....to commit more time to meditating ( 坐禅 ) and reading and not just wugong.
all the masters echo it on and on, "theres a balance to it", one hand washes the other, and I'm still working on it.

Amituofo!

[Djuan]

:p:p:p

Sometimes I think I'm here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ybHbxz7vQ


this is probably my favorite scene. so many metaphors, parallels, and hidden gems of perception, awareness, and understanding.
amazing how this movie is relevant and applicable to this day :cool:


AMITUOFO

[GeneChing]

this is probably my favorite scene. so many metaphors, parallels, and hidden gems of perception, awareness, and understanding.
amazing how this movie is relevant and applicable to this day :cool:

AMITUOFO
That being said, this is my fav scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y53fZw60crI

That's me at work, smashing my noggin against sandbags with some midget spanking me with hand-shaped paddle rod. :(:o

[Jimbo]

this is probably my favorite scene. so many metaphors, parallels, and hidden gems of perception, awareness, and understanding.
amazing how this movie is relevant and applicable to this day :cool:


AMITUOFO

This was my favorite scene, too. IMO, Gordon Liu was underrated as an actor. His body language and facial expressions throughout the movie really reflected the growth of the character, from awkward, confused novice to mature practitioner. Something that looks easy, but isn’t so easy to pull off onscreen like he did.

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, for me, was all about the storyline and the training sequences. I personally never found the actual fight scenes to be spectacular, especially compared to many of director Lau Kar-Leung’s other movies. IMO, the best actual fights in the movie were between Gordon Liu and Lee Hoi-Sang, who played the senior monk with the butterfly swords.

[Djuan]

yea it's a journey that anyone who's worked hard at a skill can appreciate. Its amazing how they got him to translate that essence in the film.
most who have experienced Shaolin training with traditional conditioning and repetition can attest to the fact that each plateau has a lesson, all triumph comes with pain, and after that, more pain. After that you build a tolerance to take what? more pain.
It got to the point where you start to like it, like "hey I didn't know I was weak over there, let me toughen that up...." , or my favorite, "wow, I didn't know that part of my body could even hurt...." , and "I didn't know that part of my body even moved...."

I got the sense of that in the movie from Gordon, from the moment he asked to learn kung fu, there was never a dull point, orr an easy chamber, then he mastered it, and met the next challenge. It was this attitude of working to mastery, that he then carried into the battles with the senior monk, refining his knowledge until he made the three-sectional staff, and matched his senior efficiently (and yes those are my favorite 'official fight scenes' in the film as well ;) ). Then he carried that attitude in the world, as its "own chamber".

To this day, I still find new things to learn within Songshan Shaolin alone, and I still reduce my ego more every time, embracing the new lesson with the same vigor as my first lesson.

Amituofo