Annoying MA stories

[KC Elbows]

Here's the most annoying to me. Someone new comes to class, and you're demonstrating a technique. They go, "Oh yeah, do that to me," with the intention of countering the move that they know you are going to do. From there, my practice is to do something completely different, and if they fail to counter, point out that if they can't counter that move when they are not expecting it, then how are they gonna counter the first move when they encounter it?

Second most annoying, but innocent:

Helping a student with a technique, and they start doing some other technique and asking questions about it.

Third most annoying(actually, probably second):
Ha! I hit you in the collarbone! You'd be down! (At this point I say, OK, go full tilt, I'll mostly defend, and you'll see how much damage you can do, as its usually beginners and long-time practitioners who don't really practice, and I know they've got very little power happening).

Fourth most annoying:
ME(performing technique): Is that right?
Teacher: No. What are you doing with your ass there?
ME(Muttering): nothing I didn't practice 7000 times at home. Back to the drawing board.

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[Shaolindynasty]

"Here's the most annoying to me. Someone new comes to class, and you're demonstrating a technique. They go, "Oh yeah, do that to me," with the intention of countering the move that they know you are going to do. From there, my practice is to do something completely different, and if they fail to counter, point out that if they can't counter that move when they are not expecting it, then how are they gonna counter the first move when they encounter it?"

**** *******s!

What about the one where the student learns a technique one day and comes back to class saying I tried it on somebody and that technique doesn't work. Then you explain that it takes practice to do that technique and they shouldn't actually try to use after one day of training :rolleyes:


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[Kung Lek]

that guy who ****s really loud during meditation time.

I hate that guy. I start laughing and I can't meditate anymore! I hate myself for still laughing at ****s!

And little kids who fidget during meditation.
Or the guy who wants to show you everything else he learned in some other school. yeesh.

or the guy who "can't wait to spar".

the know it all that's been there a week.

the guy who never shows up consistently but talks like he's training more and better than everyone else.

The poseur who stands there with his fist extended for inordinate amounts of time as if he's going to really "get it" any second now.

the cryers, the whiners, the people who don't show up for events and demos when they say they will and then they don't.

The guy who makes "evil" faces while doing forms.

The guy who can't control himself in sparring and when faced with an opponent of higher skill spends the whole session backing off for fear of getting hit.

these are the people who bug me in martial arts classes.

peace

Kung Lek

Martial Arts Links (http://members.home.net/kunglek)

[Sharky]

fu.cking lol

All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.

[Tigerstyle]

"the guy who never shows up consistently but talks like he's training more and better than everyone else."

Tryin' to talk trash about me, huh? Well, I'll take your jealous comment as a sign for your recognition of my superior skill.

"No Pain - Good."
- neptunesfall

[KC Elbows]

We had this guy come in once, and my teacher was trying to explain the concept of jing to the guy, and the guy says, "No, you shouldn't do that. You'll lose chi." :rolleyes:

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[KC Elbows]

How about the guy with no real fight experience, obviously loves martial arts, but won't practice with any qualified teacher out of pure ego, because he wants to "Come up with my own thing". Usually misunderstands everything Bruce Lee ever said to be in support of his goal.

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[HuangKaiVun]

How about the guys HERE that litter this forum with flames and threads that have nothing to do with kung fu?

I'm not talking about THIS thread, which is VERY RELEVANT to kung fu practice.

[cwheelie]

you wrote: "The guy who makes "evil" faces while doing forms."
that's me! it means "****, I suck! I hope hope I'm doing this right"

de ja fu - The feeling that somewhere, somehow you've been kicked in the head like this before.

[Kung Lek]

You mean the twenty threads stating "this is a wasted thread"? :rolleyes:

yeesh Huang, you gotta lighten up sometimes dude.

be happy, have a drink, get irreverent, tell us who you can't stand in your real life instead of this little corner of the ether.

Ok, that's it, I gotta go eat some thai food with some friends and talk about the state of the world.

I'll be back to delete most of your trash talk later.

peace

Kung Lek

Martial Arts Links (http://members.home.net/kunglek)

[KC Elbows]

Have fun with the goats, kung lek!!
Friends, my arse... ;)

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[Jeff Liboiron]

What about your friends or whoever that say "ok what would you do if i did this" and then they try to hit you like 10 times but don't, and they get all upset and say stuff like "hey, that's cheating, your not supposed to block my atttacks!!" :)

The object is not to hurt someone else, but to stop them from hurting you

[Khun Kao Charuad]

How about the guy you're sparring who when you get in a good shot, they counter with, "Oh, but if that had been FOR REAL..."

Khun Kao

[KC Elbows]

"Can you kick the ceiling?"

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[KC Elbows]

"Can you drive my nose into my brain?"

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[Water Dragon]

What about your friends or whoever that say "ok what would you do if i did this"

Man, I knew this guy in college that would do that all the time. One night, we were at a party and he started his all drunk as I was trying to get into the bathroom with this fine azz ho. He comes up and says "what would you do if I grabbed this girls butt?" and he grabs it and just looks at me. I hit him in the nose as hard as I could. He never bothered me after that LOL

[KC Elbows]

"You do karate?"

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[TigerClaw]

How about the guy who just learned a technique yesterday, mastered it in a night, and then comes in the next day and screws everything up by "teaching" it to other students.

"You must first ASK before you can Enter"

[shaolinboxer]

Having made stupid comments in the past myself, most commments like the ones mentioned here just slide off me or make me simply sigh and shake my head.

However, one thing that does bug the everlasting bejesus out of me is guys with two or three years of martial arts experience acting like all knowing masters because they rank higher than you in your current school.

Ofcourse, treating your senior rankers with respect is part of being in the martial arts, but when they take attitude or seem overly selfrighteous it sometimes really gets to me. As it is my goal to be a good teacher with a good set of communication skills, it frustrates me to train with people who haven't taken the time to learn how to teach effectively.

Sometimes I deal with this by simply ignoring them, or feeling sorry for them. If I try to do a technique one way and they say "no that's wrong" I demand (nicely..I hope) they show me why. Not that we have to start knuckling eachother's teeth back...but the one rule of martial arts I abide by is if you say it, you better be able to do it.

It is important to learn how to teach each student as an individual.

As they say in buddhism...skill in means.

[KC Elbows]

Teaching can definitely be tricky. One friend practices with us who is very experienced in northern external styles, more experienced than I am in my southern internal stuff. I end up sometimes in the position of helping teach him, and it seems weird. However, I limit myself to teaching him only certain things, like power generation(which I'm better versed in), and specific stuff to our system. Occassionally he gets a little thrown off when he does a shuffle the way he's used to(rear heal lifting off of the ground) and I say, "No, here you plant the heal!" but he's good natured about it.

I also try not to teach anything I'm in doubt of myself, but I've made mistakes and been one of those Annoying MA Stories.

KC: Do it this way!
Student: Yes, sir!
Teacher(to student): Why are you doing it that way?
KC: My bad! Here's a stick master. Beat me for my insolence!

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[Tigerstyle]

"KC: Do it this way!
Student: Yes, sir!
Teacher(to student): Why are you doing it that way?
KC: My bad! Here's a stick master. Beat me for my insolence!"

LOL!

To avoid stick beatings in the future, next time a student asks "Why are you doing it that way?", just punch him/her really hard in the face and tell them their kung fu isn't strong. At the very least, they'll probably forget that they asked the question :) .

"No Pain - Good."
- neptunesfall

[Mr. Nemo]

You know what I can't stand is those guys that come to our school from time to time in full dressy uniforms. They always say that my chinese boxing is weak and useless, and that theirs is superior.

They're always dishonoring my master, and dishonoring the shaolin temple. I have to fight them all - fortunately, they only attack one at a time, which makes it easier for me. Afterwards, they shake their fists at me and run off, saying they will be back to avenge my insolence.

The wierdest thing is, when they talk, the movement of their lips doesn't synch up with the words that they're saying. Any way, those guys pi$$ me off.

[straight blast]

I hate people who come to Muay Thai for 2 lessons & walk around like they're king s**t. Then brag to all their mates about what a tough mofo they are. HATEHATEHATE!
Or the instructor's wife who believes that she deserves the same repsect due the instructor even though she knows nothing...
Or the total f**king a**hole who finds it neccessary to apply all joint locks at maximum speed and power, then cries like a baby when you apply it at half speed & power.
Not to mention the name dropper..."oh, I was at this seminar & (insert name here) said..." like the person in question is their best friend.
Or the deodorant-phobic person who stinks like an open sewer 'cos they refuse to wash themselves or their gi except on an annual basis determined by some bizzare astrological event.
Or the philosopher who while having absolutely NO fighting ability whatsover is able to quote all the great fighting texts.
Same for the critic. The one who sits there and yells out "advice" while you are sparring someone bigger, badder and more experienced than you, despite having (once again) no experience. These last two are often related. I often find this among Aikido people who have been training for about a month. Absolutely no offense intended to serious Aikido practitioners, by the way.
I could go on, but this is turning into a rant...

Oh yeah, one more. The class clown that thinks they're funny. Putting s**t on the instructor is something I've always thought is pretty silly, especially when he's looking for a sparring partner... :D

"Pain is merely weakness leaving the body"

[Sharky]

People who moan about how crap everything is, but do FU.CK ALL to change it.

Read: HuangKaiVun

All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.

[Shaolindynasty]

"How about the guy with no real fight experience, obviously loves martial arts, but won't practice with any qualified teacher out of pure ego, because he wants to "Come up with my own thing". Usually misunderstands everything Bruce Lee ever said to be in support of his goal."

Argh I know tons of guys like this :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I also hate the guy who always interrupts class with things like "in Akido we used to do it like this" and then can't do or remember the techniques from our school. I think to myself if you like Akido so **** much go to an akido dojo duh :rolleyes: No offense to Akido but he happens to have had akido training


www.shaolindynasty.cjb.net (http://www.shaolindynasty.cjb.net)

[HuangKaiVun]

Screw you, Sharky and Kung Lek. Ban my ass for all I care.

None of you juvenile delinquents give a crap about kung fu, and to you it's all fun and games. Your sifus obviously didn't teach any of you properly.

Go drink your beer. Drink lots of it. Keep posting your porn.

I guess that these are the things that KFO endorses, given the amount of it that is offically sanctioned here. I'll have nothing to do with it.

[baji-fist]

What I can't stand is some guy who doesn't know anything about Chinese Martial Arts and asks, "I want to learn something that takes a short amount of time to master and that I can use in the streets right off the bat." Usually they are a bunch of rednecks. I don't know how many times I have turned away people like that!

You must eat bitter before you can taste sweet.

[Shaolindynasty]

Argh! This whole thread is ****ing me off! We have had ALL these people in class at one time or another!


www.shaolindynasty.cjb.net (http://www.shaolindynasty.cjb.net)

[KC Elbows]

Take it easy on huang, guys. I know he irritates you all with his single-minded devotion to making this forum completely on topic, but you gotta hand it to him: He's definitely a warrior about it. Hell, he even accidentaly trolled me once, and was good natured about it. I.E. don't waste this thread fighting.

Had one at class tonight. The person who you show a technique that depends on misdirection, and the person says, "They'll just do this..." to stop the technique. At which point I say, yes, if you let them see it coming, they'll stop it, stab you with an ice pick, shoot you twice, and then they'll pluck your eyes out with salad tongs. So don't let them see it coming.

City, your toast will never go unbuttered again! -The Tic

[Johnny Hot Shot]

Especialy when they are in my dojo.

Kung Lek, I like Evil Faces.

"Life's a great Adventure, Mate"
Jacko Jackson

[Jeff Liboiron]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by KC Elbows:
"Can you drive my nose into my brain?"

[/quote]

If you ask me that one more time i'll do it :)

The object is not to hurt someone else, but to stop them from hurting you

[Nich Gunn]

Is the guy that asks can I see that from a different angle?
is he annoying...
I ask that all the time...
I also ask if he can demo it on me...
I just ask it so that I can get a better feel for it...

Also I hate the guy that brings his girl friend to class...

Is asking questions bad...
Like how do I get more power into my outside crescent..
my left outside crescent is way to fu.cking weak.

ANyone have any advice on how to make it stronger?

[SanHeChuan]

I hate that guy that says really obvious things that aren’t really helpful.

Student: every time I front kick I go up on the ball of my foot.

A-hole: well, don’t do that.

Oh wait that’s me, my bad.

===============================

"Civilize the mind but make savage the body"

Hou fa xian zhi
-start later, but reach first.

[Royal Dragon]

Chris said

"I also hate the guy who always interrupts class with things like "in Akido we used to do it like this" and then can't do or remember the techniques from our school. I think to myself if you like Akido so **** much go to an akido dojo duh No offense to Akido but he happens to have had akido training"

Reply]

How about the guy, who no mater HOW many times you tell him to shuffle, he hops? :rolleyes:

Or how 'bout the guy that no matter how many times you tell him "Don't go low" because he's loosing the mechanics (and hopps instead of shuffels), still does everything with a thighs level to the ground stance? :eek:

Or the guy that no matter how many times you tell him to point his foot more forward he keeps pointing it directly to the side? To the point that you find yourself over exsagerating the foot position in hopes he might "Get it?" by falling short of your over egsageration?

Actually, he was beter last time. :rolleyes:

Hey Chris, do you know anyone like this?

RD

Those that are sucessful are also the biggest failures. the difference between them and the rest of the failures is this, they keep getting up over and over again, until they succeed. "The more they try, the more they fail, BUT, the more they try & fail, the more opertunity they have to succeed, and succeed they do!!"



Check out the Royal Dragon Web site

http://www.Royaldragon.4dw.com

[Kung Lek]

actually Huang, my teacher taught me very well.

how is your's teaching you so that you are constantly wining about things?

this is an open forum in an open setting?
I care very deeply about Kung Fu and the practice of it.

you however are whining quite often. so, enough said.

don't diss my teacher, he's a master of kung fu, you are NOT. Nor am I.
peace

Kung Lek

Martial Arts Links (http://members.home.net/kunglek)

[sticky fingers]

'I've done 8 years of karate so I don't need to learn the first form, show me how to chi sau'

The difference between unclear war and nuclear war is in the way you use the U.N...

[Kung Lek]

where? here on the forum? hahahahahaha.

Chi Sao is best done directly with a partner. In fact, it cannot be done without a partner.

also, sticky hands is not only in wing chun, it is Shaolin and is found in pretty much all styles of Kung Fu.
(with few exceptions...so few, i can't really think of any)
peace

Kung Lek

Martial Arts Links (http://members.home.net/kunglek)

[P]

i tried to keep training a secret from my friends for this reason. I am standing there having a conversation about what school i should attend with a guy who i recently found out was an instructor at his own school. My friend comes up "dude those guys over there were talking sh!t, come with me and show me some of that martial arts stuff". It just looked sad, im trying to have a serious conversation with a guy that has 15x my experience and i have a bud trying to get us to go beat some stupid kids a.