You want me to what?

[zen_celt]

I was driving around with my friend Kellie yesterday and we passed my old kwoon. As we passed, I pointed the place out to her and, after looking at it, she looked at me funny. I asked her what was wrong and we got into a discussion about my training.

She knows that I train in MA, since it's been brought up on occasion since I've known her. Until recently she hasn't voiced a negative opinion about it. After she had looked at the outside of the kwoon (there are weapons in the front windows) she said it looked dangerous and she doesn't want me to keep practicing. I tried to allay her fears explaining it was safer than football (which she loves to watch) yet she remains adamant in her stance that no good will come of it and she doesn't me to get hurt. I know she doesn't like violence etc. so I don't talk about it in front of her (unless we are discussing gun control) but now she's just acting a bit weird. I have no idea what to do. Any suggestions please?
-ZC

"The thorn *****s only those who would harm the rose."

[Nexus]

Just be honest with her and tell her the real reasons why you do martial arts, often good reasons being to protect yourself and your family, to build confidence, respect for self/others, promote good health, and learn about other cultures by doing something that is particularly appeasing to you.

Keep in mind that she has an issue with your behavior (that being of a martial artist) and not of you as a person, so try to stay on the topic of addressing the behavior more then you yourself.

Chances are you won't win her to your side 100% no matter what you say as it would be necessary for her to experience the martial arts herself, and find interest in them etc for her to be in support of you in entirety.

I would say that is not necessary, but more important what is necessary is if she is serious about being concerned for you, which is quite empathic and compassionate of her to be doing so, address her concerns with empathy and compassion as well.

You'll be fine!

- Nexus

[zen_celt]

You're probably right. In retrospect I have addressed the subject in a relatively light manner and teased her about it a bit. I'll be more serious about it when I talk to her next. I just don't know how to bring it up. *sigh* It just seems that whenever a girl finds out I train, she gets apprehensive/worried. Oh well.... Thanks Nexus.
-ZC

"The thorn *****s only those who would harm the rose."

[SevenStar]

I have been through this, and still go through it. When it comes to this, women (at least the ones I've dealt with) aren't really willing to listen on this issue. All you can really do is tell them they have to accept it. Try bringing her to a couple of classes, so she can see what goes on. But by all means, keep training.

"Just because I joke around sometimes doesn't mean I'm serious about kung-fu.
" - nightair

[Budokan]

Be honest with her; take her to a couple of classes if you can. She's just afraid of something she doesn't know anything about. If you can show her what it's all about it may allay her fears.

K. Mark Hoover

[Kung Lek]

do a form in the nude for her, she'll change her mind then by gum! :D

peace

Kung Lek

Martial Arts Links (http://members.home.net/kunglek)

[MonkeySlap Too]

It depends how important the training is to you.

For me girls always were a transient thing, so they took second place to training.

I am committed now, but she understands that the training comes with the deal. No training, no me.

But everybody has different priorities.

The thing to remember is that there are lots of women out there - you don't ever have to 'settle'.

"Poor is the pupil who
does not surpass his
master" - Leonardo Da
Vinci

[zen_celt]

Budokan- I'd like to try that. Unfortunately, she just won't. I've offered to show her a form(for fun) or even a few techniques I thought would be good for her safety but she refused.

Kung Lek- Too late dude! (Let's hear it for free form dancing)! :p :D ;)

Monkeyslaptoo- I'm not going to quit training, in fact I'm more commited to it now than I ever have been. I know we'll probably never see eye to eye on this, I just don't want her to have to worry. I probably worry about her more since she walks home alone at night in a not so great part of town without any protection unless I walk her home (which I'm not always able to do).
-Z

"The thorn *****s only those who would harm the rose."

[NorthernMantis]

Well for one thing she's not your gf to be demanding that from you.It's a controlled class not some alley fight.I'm sure you have already told her about safety so I can't help you there but have tyou tried to uderstand where's she coming from?

http://www.channel1.com/users/wahlum/wahlum.gif

"Always be ready"

"right, that's it!you've insulted me, and you've insulted the shaolin temple!"-Fish of Furry

[Merryprankster]

What should you do?

Donkey Punch and post pics!

[jimmy23]

Prankster beat me to it!


If she doesnt accet something you love, and wont even let you try to explain it, then she aint the girl for you. Trust me, this wont be the first thing shell try to make you stop.


"You guys have obviously never done any real fighting if you are mocking spitting"
Spinning Backfist

[zen_celt]

We'll probably talk about it when I see her in the next few days. We're just friends but we're really good friends and I don't think that this will be a detriment to our relationship, I just hate to have her worry. That, and if she reacts this way, how is the girl I'm thinking about asking out going to react?

Ah never mind, I'm just going to join the seminary and quit worrying. j/k ;)
-ZC

"The thorn *****s only those who would harm the rose."

[joedoe]

Unless she is the girl you are thinking about asking out, then there is no telling how the girl you want to ask out is going to react. She may think it is fantastic and immediately fall in love with you.

It's not as if practicing the MAs is a crime or something to be ashamed of.

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
You're fu(king up my chi

[zen_celt]

True dat. I think I'm making too big a deal out of this. I'm going to go practice my forms and meditate for a while now. Maybe I'll feel better later. Thanks to all who replied and keep the advice coming if you got any.
-ZC

See what happens during the down time between plays? I start thinking! Arrgh!

"The thorn *****s only those who would harm the rose."

[Sharky]

do what i did - give her a spiel about how easy it is to get hurt - especially women and make her get scared that anyone could rape/attack her, point out times where shes neglects her safety (like the girl i saw yesterday in teh kew for the ATM, who got out her PIN NUMBER from her WALLET before dropping her wallet and bending to pick it up just as her money was coming out). All that peripheral awareness stuff.

=================================
What we really need is chicks with a whole new kinda orifice - Fish

Sharky, I should expect this level of immaturity from you after seeing your post titled "Hm." regarding the woman that lives next door to you. I think everyone who unfortuneatly read that post is a bit more ignorant now for doing so. - Spectre

All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.

[Serpent]

Yeah, right! Girl advice from Sharky - the man who regularly has three chicks hanging around his bedroom and hasn't boned any of 'em yet!

(Just trying to get yer rile up, Sharky-boy! ;) )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You cannot defeat the Bronze Girls of Shaolin!

[SevenStar]

:D

"Just because I joke around sometimes doesn't mean I'm serious about kung-fu.
" - nightair

[Sharky]

they were here all night again too.

*SIGH*

the reason i ain't in their panties is cos i actually like them. sods law.

=================================
What we really need is chicks with a whole new kinda orifice - Fish

Sharky, I should expect this level of immaturity from you after seeing your post titled "Hm." regarding the woman that lives next door to you. I think everyone who unfortuneatly read that post is a bit more ignorant now for doing so. - Spectre

All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.

[joedoe]

Ditch the conscience then :D

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
You're fu(king up my chi

[Sharky]

i don't think they fancy me. well, the one who isn't fit does. but the others just think i'm " really fit " :rolleyes: and we get on great but they have boyfriends. one is super solid with her boyf but likes to flirt, the other won't shut the f*ck up about every bloke in the world being fit apart from me, and shows no real interest in "that" way. which is annoying. they keep coming round and i'm getting into the feckin " friends zone ", which is dangerous. Altho when we chat the four of us, there are SO MANY comments that they just slip out by accident and stuff they say to each other, trying to be subtle about stuff, thinking i won't get it. Wierd innuendo's and then uncomfortable " jokes " asking if i fancy so n so or joking that they fancy me or whatever.

// Marks end of thread hijacking

Note: you guys need to research sods law :p

=================================
What we really need is chicks with a whole new kinda orifice - Fish

Sharky, I should expect this level of immaturity from you after seeing your post titled "Hm." regarding the woman that lives next door to you. I think everyone who unfortuneatly read that post is a bit more ignorant now for doing so. - Spectre

All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.

[woliveri]

zen_celt: Follow your path as you see fit. Friends will come and go but true friends accept you as you are and are happy you are enriching your life. He77, You could be on the street corner buying drugs or something worse.


NorthernMantis: Do you have permission to use the official trademark of Wah Lum? Wouldn't want to see you get in trouble :D :D :D ;) ;) :cool: :cool: :cool: :)

There is no spoon. "The Matrix"
There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. "The Matrix"

[NorthernMantis]

Oh that's right!Thanks for the warning Wolivery I'm right on it.Gonna see if if I can get the ok to display my schools emblem. :D

"Always be ready"

"right, that's it!you've insulted me, and you've insulted the shaolin temple!"-Fish of Furry

[SantaClaus]

How could anybody quit kung fu for a girl? It just doesn't make any sense.

Even if your in love, ok, recite poetry and watch lifetime, maybe even concentrate on forms and chi kung, but how on earth could you quit?

[MartialKnight]

Hey check out

http://www.furiousg.com/videos/library/sparring/ifckf_28_sparring_1_vs_1_empty_hand.mpg (http://www.furiousg.com/videos/library/sparring/ifckf_28_sparring_1_vs_)

[Wongsifu]

i didnt read any other ppls posts but my only advice is explain to hear that what you do is hit each other hard with weapons and some times ppl die but its ok, your firend lost an ear last week when your sword slipped but he doesnt mind.
Then take her to a tkd mcdojo and let her see that you dont actually hurt each other and she will be relieved

This is because THC is not an alkaloid. It does not contain a nitrogen atom, therefore it is a terpenophenolic compound

[Chang Style Novice]

Martial arts are great. They cultivate virtues, both physical and mental, in ways that it is very difficult to do otherwise. Everyone, and I mean everyone should train martial arts at least a little at some point in their life.

BUT! They are not the be-all and end-all of life. Someday, painful as it is to contemplate, you may find yourself forced to choose between practice and something else that you love and lend life meaning. Be selfish. Be ruthless. Decide what is best for you. And if this means giving up martial arts, do it. Natch, you should strive to find a compromise that doesn't mean entirely giving them up, but still.

_______________________
I am the Grand Ultimate Silk Pyjama