Need help for my daughter-eating issues

[Sihing73]

Hello,

I have a 14 year old daughter who stopped eating in October of 2014 to protest her being in foster care.
Long story but I got custody of her back in January of this year. Suffice it to say there were no issues of abuse or neglect but I went into the hospital and being a single parent DFC's took custody of my kids.
You would think it would be simple to get them back but it is not, still have her two sisters in their custody.

Anyhow, she was in the hospital, different ones but steadily admitted, from October until March 3rd.
She has what they call a GJ Tube in her stomach to allow liquid formula to be administered by a pump to feed her.
The medical staff has been unable to offer any real definitive plan to get her back to eating normally.
She has started to eat a bit but I honestly do not know the best method to help her.

Last week her tube got dislodged and she had to be admitted for a day to have it replaced.
Since then she has been resistant to going back on her feeds.
Last night she actually fought me and I stopped as I did not want to hurt her.
Today she went to school and was a bit non compliant and ended up seeing the school counselor.
When I spoke with them they relayed that they had gotten her to talk and she is worried about the tube becoming dislodged again.

I am wondering if anyone would be able to offer any advise about how to get someone back to eating normally after an extended period of not eating.
Any help would be appreciated.

[curenado]

You may not believe this, but way back, if we had a kid wanting to go puny, we'd give it a half a beer about a half hour before dinner. Since she's a lot older, probably 3/4.

With all the gizmos, pills and sickness I'm sure some dafting robots will have some experiment to try, but the trick is just to say "Hey I was going to fix (tacos?) In a lil bit. Wanna split this beer with me?"
Between a little let go, a little yeast and bubbles and a lititle dad company, I bet you got the magic.

[boxerbilly]

I have no help. I can only hope for a quick resolution for the 2 of you. Very sad to read.

[herb ox]

I just wanted to be the first to say I am relieved that you are not eating your daughters :p when i first saw the title I thought this was a prank post.

That being said, this sounds like a very serious issue - pleas do not take my suggestions as medical advice or anything that would replace the care of a qualified physician.

The first line of treatment I would suggest is a thorough psychiatric evaluation - depression can manifest as lack of zest for life and in many cases, eating disorders. Since she actually spent time in the hospital, I imagine this has already taken place but not all therapists are the same, and you migt have better luck "shopping around" for someone who is a better or more compassionate fit.

You may also want to find a good "5 elements style" acupuncturist in your area. This is a specific system of acupuncture very well suited for treating emotional disorders with amazing efficacy. life as a foster child is difficult no matter what and many energetic patterns can take up residence in the body leading to myriad emotional and physicial issues long term. The Chinese medicine approach to these kind of issues involves treating the whole person, not just masking symptoms with mind numbing medications. so it may include taking herbal medicine, receiving acupuncture and doing qigong. long term this may give her back a sense of control over her life. think of how much your martial training has enriched your life and just imagine what a personal approach to her wellness could do for her.

again, no easy answers - I wish you both strength and patience while you get through this difficult time.

Sincerely
Herb ox

Ps pardon typos - typing furiously on my iPad at work ;)

[sanjuro_ronin]

Hello,

I have a 14 year old daughter who stopped eating in October of 2014 to protest her being in foster care.
Long story but I got custody of her back in January of this year. Suffice it to say there were no issues of abuse or neglect but I went into the hospital and being a single parent DFC's took custody of my kids.
You would think it would be simple to get them back but it is not, still have her two sisters in their custody.

Anyhow, she was in the hospital, different ones but steadily admitted, from October until March 3rd.
She has what they call a GJ Tube in her stomach to allow liquid formula to be administered by a pump to feed her.
The medical staff has been unable to offer any real definitive plan to get her back to eating normally.
She has started to eat a bit but I honestly do not know the best method to help her.

Last week her tube got dislodged and she had to be admitted for a day to have it replaced.
Since then she has been resistant to going back on her feeds.
Last night she actually fought me and I stopped as I did not want to hurt her.
Today she went to school and was a bit non compliant and ended up seeing the school counselor.
When I spoke with them they relayed that they had gotten her to talk and she is worried about the tube becoming dislodged again.

I am wondering if anyone would be able to offer any advise about how to get someone back to eating normally after an extended period of not eating.
Any help would be appreciated.

She needs professional help to deal with the issues of why she doesn't want to eat before you can help her to get back to eating normally.

[curenado]

That's all exactly what the family busting tv would say and people are following it because it requires nothing of them emotionally or intellectually - just give your kid to the machine, someone will do something to it.

Honest parent would think maybe she's had enough strangers and bullsh*** things and wants to feel safe as her family again and wants everyone to know they should not have scared and kidnapped her like that.

She wants her father. I've been one. Haven't the idiot bea$t machines had enough of your family?

Not only has the gaff of running our kids through stupid "improvement" machines shown consistent failure in result it gets to looking plain sad.

Poor thing.

[Sihing73]

She needs professional help to deal with the issues of why she doesn't want to eat before you can help her to get back to eating normally.

This is a given, the problem is the doctors do not have any real answers.
She has been treated at CHOA Egelston Hospital and is still receiving care from the Upper GI doctors.
I am working with the insurance company, we have an assigned case manager and am trying to get a nutrionalist assigned to work with us.
When I have asked about a plan to getting her back to eating I have been told, by the docs, to "let her eat what she wants".
Needless to say that ain't working.

We are also working with a therapist who has a background in working with children with eating disorders as well.
So I am getting "professional help" just not getting any real answers as no one seems to know what to do.
My daughter does not seem to fit into the "normal" category for eating disorders.

I am exploring all possibilities which is why I posted here.
It is not that she does not want to eat..............she has not eaten for so long that her body is having trouble processing and accepting food.

[Sihing73]

I just wanted to be the first to say I am relieved that you are not eating your daughters :p when i first saw the title I thought this was a prank post.

That being said, this sounds like a very serious issue - pleas do not take my suggestions as medical advice or anything that would replace the care of a qualified physician.

The first line of treatment I would suggest is a thorough psychiatric evaluation - depression can manifest as lack of zest for life and in many cases, eating disorders. Since she actually spent time in the hospital, I imagine this has already taken place but not all therapists are the same, and you migt have better luck "shopping around" for someone who is a better or more compassionate fit.

You may also want to find a good "5 elements style" acupuncturist in your area. This is a specific system of acupuncture very well suited for treating emotional disorders with amazing efficacy. life as a foster child is difficult no matter what and many energetic patterns can take up residence in the body leading to myriad emotional and physicial issues long term. The Chinese medicine approach to these kind of issues involves treating the whole person, not just masking symptoms with mind numbing medications. so it may include taking herbal medicine, receiving acupuncture and doing qigong. long term this may give her back a sense of control over her life. think of how much your martial training has enriched your life and just imagine what a personal approach to her wellness could do for her.

again, no easy answers - I wish you both strength and patience while you get through this difficult time.

Sincerely
Herb ox

Ps pardon typos - typing furiously on my iPad at work ;)

Thanks, I am studying Hsing I and will ask my Sifu there if he knows anyone in the area.

[Sihing73]

That's all exactly what the family busting tv would say and people are following it because it requires nothing of them emotionally or intellectually - just give your kid to the machine, someone will do something to it.

Honest parent would think maybe she's had enough strangers and bullsh*** things and wants to feel safe as her family again and wants everyone to know they should not have scared and kidnapped her like that.

She wants her father. I've been one. Haven't the idiot bea$t machines had enough of your family?

Not only has the gaff of running our kids through stupid "improvement" machines shown consistent failure in result it gets to looking plain sad.

Poor thing.

You don't want to know my opinion concerning the "machine".
I am the one who got my daughter to start eating again, albeit only a little.
The "machine" did not have an answer and wanted to resign her to tube feeding for who knows how long.
My goal is to get her well as soon as possible.
I want help from the doctors but it honestly seems like they are as confused as I am.
Not necessarily their fault, eating disorders are one of the most difficult things to treat.
My pastor was relating to me that it may be difficult to treat than drug addiction.

[curenado]

I just think you are there and she does have you. In my mind, you two some more "little moments" before bringing in too many other theories gives you both stronger legs.
I was under the impression that you were not doing too bad really, and that it was just a matter of her own time and moving along. I hope that is so.
I just reacted I suppose to other ideas that didn't start with getting back to what she wants and what upset her, because that's what sticks out in my mind.
I took it no deeper than what you had said and sometimes when something bad happens to a kid, what they need is time, security and safe space to feel whether they figure it all out or not.
Just a temporary case of nerves I hoped wold respond to the smallest of relaxing appetite stimulant and the therapeutic company of her own.
The very best of wishes to you all. You can tell her I said that wouldve ruined my dinner too, but not forever ~

[herb ox]

I found this acupuncturist (http://www.five-elements.org/acupuncture.htm) in the town of Decatur, GA - she is a TAI Sophia graduate - one of the highest respected schools of 5 element acupuncture. Being that the practitioner is a woman, your daughter may relate better to her than a man. Giving her a call can't hurt and she could at least give you an idea of what to expect.

BTW 5 element practitioners tend to be more "warm and fuzzy" than traditional or medical acupuncturists... so keep an open mind :p

All my sincere best,

herb ox

[sanjuro_ronin]

This is a given, the problem is the doctors do not have any real answers.
She has been treated at CHOA Egelston Hospital and is still receiving care from the Upper GI doctors.
I am working with the insurance company, we have an assigned case manager and am trying to get a nutrionalist assigned to work with us.
When I have asked about a plan to getting her back to eating I have been told, by the docs, to "let her eat what she wants".
Needless to say that ain't working.

We are also working with a therapist who has a background in working with children with eating disorders as well.
So I am getting "professional help" just not getting any real answers as no one seems to know what to do.
My daughter does not seem to fit into the "normal" category for eating disorders.

I am exploring all possibilities which is why I posted here.
It is not that she does not want to eat..............she has not eaten for so long that her body is having trouble processing and accepting food.

I don't think you will ever get any "real" answers for some time, unless there is some breakthrough.
But it is important to continue seeking counselling.
Is her body rejecting all solids?
What about liquids?
Has there been a test on the acidity level in her stomach?
I assume that have done blood work and scans to make sure she is ABLE to digest, correct?

[Sihing73]

I don't think you will ever get any "real" answers for some time, unless there is some breakthrough.
But it is important to continue seeking counselling.
Is her body rejecting all solids?
What about liquids?
Has there been a test on the acidity level in her stomach?
I assume that have done blood work and scans to make sure she is ABLE to digest, correct?

She is not "rejecting" food per se.
The issue, as I have been informed, is more that due to her not eating for such a long time her stomach needs to be "retrained" to accept food.
The problem is no one seems to have an answer as to how to do this.

I am fairly optimistic and was really looking here to see if there were additional resources I had overlooked.

I have gotten her to start eating and she is doing okay with this as long as we keep is small and simple.
She is getting plenty of liquids and seems to be much better over all.

What I am trying to figure out is the best diet or method to get her off of the feeding tube as quickly as possible.
So far the doctors are not much help and as we live in a rural area it is hard to find a dietitian or anyone with experience with eating disorders.

The most frustrating thing to me is that her medical team basically "gave up" and wanted to send her away to a hospital in VA which would be over 8 hours away.
When I pushed back and asked what that hospital could do that could not be done in Georgia or at home they discharged her to me.
She did great till she caught some stomach bug at school and started vomiting.
She was sick for almost 3 weeks and all of the vomiting caused her tube to become dislodged and end up in her esophagus.
They replaced the tube but she was feeling, and still is, some anxiety about the tube being dislodged again.

She is riding her bike and we had a water gun fight, I lost by the way.
I am trying to get her to practice Hsing I for the health benefits and she is open to doing so.
All in all I am not as worried as I may seem as I am sure she will get better.
Again, my desire was to perhaps obtain some additional resources regarding diets and such.

My thinking went back to prisoners of WWII or others where prisoners were starved and how they got back to healthy eating after being liberated.
I mean they did not have the feeding tubes and such like today.
I tend to kind of agree with what curenado stated about becoming too dependent on the "machine".
Besides, there is an article right now about a "remedy" from several hundred years ago in England being tested to fight a very resistant virus/bug and showing very promising results.
I guess what I was hoping was that someone might have some experience with a different diet or such which would be of benefit.

Thanks to everyone for their input and well wishes, it is appreciated.

[sanjuro_ronin]

If liquids are working then try gradually increasing the consistency of the liquids from liquid to puree to "mushy" to solid but soft to soft to, etc...
This seems like a case of time more than anything else though.
Probiotics will help, getting here to eat fruits and veggies will be tough but you can try those new "fruit pastes" that are out there.

I am sorry that you are going through with this dude but such is parenthood, we do everything for our little ones, even the impossible.
I know you enough to know that you won't give up and that alone is half the battle won.

You are in my prayers my friend.
I am sure you have googled the pants off the internet looking for advice and treatments so I will just say this:
It will take time, she will have some relapses BUT I am confident that you will prevail.

[Sihing73]

If liquids are working then try gradually increasing the consistency of the liquids from liquid to puree to "mushy" to solid but soft to soft to, etc...
This seems like a case of time more than anything else though.
Probiotics will help, getting here to eat fruits and veggies will be tough but you can try those new "fruit pastes" that are out there.

I am sorry that you are going through with this dude but such is parenthood, we do everything for our little ones, even the impossible.
I know you enough to know that you won't give up and that alone is half the battle won.

You are in my prayers my friend.
I am sure you have googled the pants off the internet looking for advice and treatments so I will just say this:
It will take time, she will have some relapses BUT I am confident that you will prevail.

I appreciate the prayers.
The insurance case manager stated that my daughter should have never been discharged from the hospital without a firm plan to get her back to eating.
The fact that I have been left to my own devices is not sitting well with her, or my daughters therapist.
Apparently, the case manager has tried to get several different dietitians to work with me but they are citing liability concerns as they normally work with the doctors to make meal plans and such.
However, my daughter ate some cereal last night and has been drinking carnation instant breakfast in the mornings. Not the most nutritious things but at least she is able to keep it down.
I am confident she will be fine, it will just take a while.

Prayers are always appreciated.
Let me know if you ever visit Georgia.
Dahlonega is nice and in the mountains.
You should see the view from the dining room of Chic Fil A. :)

[curenado]

Actually, carnation instant breakfast plus milk equals ensure plus. She can drink one with every meal to put on a little.

[Sihing73]

Actually, carnation instant breakfast plus milk equals ensure plus. She can drink one with every meal to put on a little.

Good news as she does like it. :D
Now if I could only get her to clean her room.

[Sihing73]

So my daughters therapist came out on Saturday.
She was impressed with how good my daughter looked and how much energy she had.
Apparently I am doing something right.

I appreciate continued prayers for her recovery and your well wishes.

[mickey]

Greetings,

Sihing73:

Have you tried something simple like Jell-O? or

Oral administration of what has been going through her feed tube? (this might be a best start) or

Baby food?

If you can get her to orally down the stuff that has been going through her feed tube, you might be able to bridge her back to regular food by mixing that stuff with baby food. Then to baby food and then slowly to soft regular foods. Then to regular foods. You have to be very patient with this. By the way, baby food applesauce really rocks.

mickey

[Sihing73]

Hello,

Just wanted to give an update.

My daughter who is 14 and about 5'3" tall dropped her weight to 81 pounds due to vomiting for almost 3 weeks almost constantly.
She also had to have her GJ Tube replaced because it had become dislodged from her stomach and ended up in her esophagus.
She was admitted to the hospital on March 24th and discharged on March 25th once the tube was replaced.
(Note: this was an admission after returning home to me on March 3rd. Her initial period of hospitalization ran from approximately October 10th to March 3rd with her being in several different hospitals.
The last admission was at Children s Healthcare of Atlanta-Egelston Hospital and ran from December 20th to March 3rd).

She has been doing well since coming back home again.
She had an appointment with her pediatrician yesterday and her weight is up to 85 lbs.
Still far too low, but at least it is coming up.

We have changed her Upper GI doctors due to the lack of response and support and the new ones have a plan of action to get he back to eating.
My daughter has been able to eat and the plan is to have her eat at least three small meals each day and have her feeds connected overnight.
Yesterday, I took her to breakfast and she ate bacon, which is pretty much what she would eat before all of this started.

Since her tube has been replaced she has not had any instances of vomiting and seems to be able to hold down food.
We have set a goal to get her to weigh 96-100 lbs at which point we will request that the GJ Tube be removed from her stomach.

There is still a long road ahead, but the prognosis is looking better.
Just wanted to provide an update and thank everyone for their continued prayers and well wishes.