How do you fight a 1000-pound-squatting roid freak?

[fa_jing]

How do you think you would fight this guy:
http://www.bootydown.com/freaks/images/capt.kirk1003.rm

I took the link from the Kung Fu training and health forum. Here are the conditions: You are in an alley with your back against the wall. There is limited space so you can't run away. So you have to take this guy out. Oh yeah no weapons, and you are conveniently wearing loose clothes. This reminds me of that Jackie Chan movie where he fought all those wrestlers.
Go for the Ballz and eyes for a start, any other opinions? If I could, I'd just beg for mercy.
-FJ

[Stranger]

I'd stand right behind him and when his thighs got parallel to the floor, I'd just kick him forward. The bar should do the rest.
SNAP :eek:

I don't get mad.
I get stabby.

[Stacey]

don't hold back, stay to the outside.

HO HO HO
http://thumb-2.image.altavista.com/image/100933751

[old jong]

Just call for his moma!...She will grab him by the ear and take him home to so POPA can teach him not to take on "little people" :eek:

Les paroles s'envolent.
Les écrits restent!...

[Budokan]

Just because someone is big doesn't mean they are unbeatable. Besides, if he's having a lot of trouble with 'rhoids then he won't be that hard to take out anyway.

Failing that, beg for mercy then sucker punch him in any one of these tried and true places: temple, throat, eyes, nose, solar plexus, groin. You'll be able to get away from the rhoid monster then.

K. Mark Hoover

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

attack weak points viciously .. eyes, throat, knees, ankels, groin, ears (actually doesn't take much to completely pull it off or so i have heard) . ..

get the fu ck away from the wall as soon as possible. if running still isn't an option, or you don't want to run, work your mobility against his. attack at weak angles. . keep your side to him if you can to give him as little of a target as possible . .. whatever you do don't stand right in front of him and just duke it out unless you want to lose for some reason.

this is probably a stylistic preference but i would want to drop my hight as low as possible without sacraficing too much mobility. when in tight i would drop even lower. most big guys like that arent kickers so it makes sense to me to give him a little less to punch plus i'm going to wan't all the stability and root i can get.

bite.

if you believe in god pray.

if you don't pray anyway.

where's my beer?

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

also just because a guy is strong doesn't mean he can hit hard. also doesn't mean he can fight . .. but i guess we were assuming he could.

where's my beer?

[Budokan]

Just tell him you heard most rhoid monsters are in actuality little momma-boys at heart who are also trying to get over the fact their daddies didn't spend enough quality time with them.

When he breaks down to cry at his shame and humility of being found out, crush his temple with an elbow and lay him flat out. Then you can urinate on him at your convenience before going about your life.

K. Mark Hoover

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

peeing on people is the ultimate stress release.

where's my beer?

[IronFist]

Well, if I was a ninja I'd climb the wall and then vanish.

Otherwise, I'd challenge him to a one legged squatting contest. He can squat way over twice his bodyweight and I bet he couldn't do 1 or 2 one legged squats (keeping your heel on the ground, please, Matt Furey style).

Then, when he was beaten cuz he couldn't do any, I'd be like "yeah, now who's the pùssy?"

Iron

"Now why the **** would you censor "d.ork?"

Ironman PostLog: 1100 - 11/20/01

[Ryu]

With a gun. ;)


Ryu

http://lavender.fortunecity.com/powell/123/Imagenes/kenshin.jpg

Rimpleback Pumpernickle Kez Kez Vuy Tranh Yanagasawa Fujikage Fistibuns....
the lost son of the Fistibuns clan...


"One who takes pride in shallow knowledge or understanding is like a monkey who delights in adorning itself with garbage."

[nightair]

Just wait till he aint lookin an kick im in the roids...

---------------------------"uh oh, what is going to happen next?"

[Badger]

piece of cake!


Badger

[nightair]

a mullet and coke bottle glases that are cracked

---------------------------"uh oh, what is going to happen next?"

[Sharky]

only once did someone try to bully my dad when he was little. my dad beat him up, tied him up, then ****ed on him.

=================================
What we really need is chicks with a whole new kinda orifice - Fish

Sharky, I should expect this level of immaturity from you after seeing your post titled "Hm." regarding the woman that lives next door to you. I think everyone who unfortuneatly read that post is a bit more ignorant now for doing so. - Spectre

All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.

[Badger]

He got ****ed off so he ****ed on!


Badger


g

[SifuAbel]

He is very big and strong. But can his ear grow muscle enough to take a good hook punch? I don't think so. There are many striking points on the body that are always vunerable. There is no need to limit yourself to just a few specialized techniques.

Also, does this man actually train to fight? He might actually suck. He may land a few good hits but would lose overall due to poor movement. It not enough just to be stong. You also have to be skilled.

[Badger]

How have ya been man? Haven't "seen" you in awhile.

Badger

[Starchaser107]

For real abel where you been?

oh and id say stick and move dont give this ogre the opportunity to grab you

"everything is everything"_W.Rodney

[fa_jing]

I like the idea of the low stance. This guy couldn't kick, but you'd still have to be careful he didn't flop on you a la E. Honda. Another tactic might be to make him fall over somehow, any ideas? His balance couldn't be that great.
-FJ

[Jowbacca]

Not to play devil's advocate here; but what makes you think he's on roids?

How come anytime a guy can lift a lot & is huge, everyone always assumes roids right off the bat?

I guess it makes more sense than the 2 or 3 hours he spends in the gym everyday....

In answer to how would I challenge him? Weak points would probly be the best bet- but it'd still have to be a hay maker. I mean, the guy squats the same weight as some cars... half of an average car... half a metric ton... Talk about a foundation.

Him hitting me might not be my major concern, except maybe a stomp kick on my knees- but who's to say that he doesn't know how to move that mass quickly? Your average running back in the NFL squats around 500 & those are the quick ones- not the monsters.

Invincible? No.
Starting from a higher vantage point? U better believe it.

http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/ezine/4_3/images/gk1.jpg
Just some thoughts from an ignoramus.

[JWTAYLOR]

The guy that I work all of my techniques on, my "test" friend is a former professional bodybuilder. He can still leg press 1k, and just last week he proved to me that he can calf press 1k as well. I don't know if he can still do it, he isn't as big as he used to be, but he used to be able to squeeze open a sealed can of Coke.

Although these people are still vulnerable, don't listen to the stuff about how they are just as easy to beat as anyone else. Knees, bullsh!t. A guy that can leg press a 1,000 pounds has super solid knees. His chest and back muscles are like armor. Arm bar, give me a break. When someone can curl twice your body weight with one hand arm bars become pretty much useless. Rear naked choke, again, bull****. He can pull your arms off without any problem. If they get a hold of you they will crush you or rip you apart. I would have never believed it possible to do some of the feats of strength I've seen Josh do. When I moved out of my house, he calmly picked up my refrigerator and carried it out to the truck. It never touched the ground. When it fell off the truck while loading, he caught it in his arms and put it back up. I always thought I was a big ol stud since back when I weighed 155 I could bench over 200. Big deal. Josh was benching 450 for reps, and he made it look easy.

But, he didn't do a d@mn thing quickly. And his cardio sucked something fierce. And it is true, you can't armor your face. You can likely lay in allot of hits, but you're biggest problem when going against someone with such extreme strength is letting him get ahold of you, or falling on you.

So, as always, hit hard, and hit first. And hit him in the head.

JWT

If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV

[Mr. Nemo]

You can still armbar a strong guy. He'd have to be waaaay stronger than you to just muscle out of an armbar, provided you've gotten him past the point of no return.

Rear naked? He can't pull your arms of if he can't even get his fingers around them. If the choke is sunk, it's sunk.

Of course, this is all assuming you have the submission on him. If it's not quite on, its a different story.

[JWTAYLOR]

Nemo, I am providing that he is WAY stonger than you, I thought that is what we were talking about. As far as the rear naked, if he is WAY stronger than you he can reach up and grab your arm and pull it down. But he has to be WAY stronger than you, which, again, is what we're discussing here.


Oh, but you're right about the arm bar, IF you can get it all the way strait, he screwed no matter what. But that's a big IF.

JWT

If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

i have never broken anyone's knee but i don't see how you could strengthen the joint itself. not saying your wrong, but it's like what you were saying with the armbar. it would have to be perfect .. right angle, right timing.

if i remember right it takes about 6lbs of preasure to break it regardless of how much muscle surrounds it. i'm not talking about a snap kick to the knee to make him lose ballance or possibly break it, but stepping through the fu cker. also the ankles seem like the'd be easier to break being that heavy.

like i said though ... this is all theory for me cause i have never been in a situation serious enough to merrit breaking bones (or trying to if you're right).

where's my beer?

[snappingknee]

I remember a few years back when Charles Barkley got into a fight with a bodybuilder at a bar or something. If I remember correctly, he beat the crap outta the guy. I think Barkley said the guy was a "bleeder"! LOL

Look at pro boxing, the bigger and/or better conditioned athlete doesn't always win the match.

Choke holds. Yummy. If I get a lock around someone's neck, that's it baby. You can't fight if you can't breath. There's been more than one person killed a year by cops who think choke holds are pretty effective against drugged out maniacs

[Ginger Fist]

strength is not power, it is a component, but not the whole. have ur friendly local gym junky rack the bar and do a vert. leap, super strong sh*it will not clear the floor by much. rate of nerve impulse fire and muscle recruitment pattern is all wrong. same deal with striking force, some fairly light, and wire like guys can really unload hellified force. roid boys r not to b messed with lightly. their mass and strength make them difficult 2 deal with in certain situations. like if they grab you and start pressing ur head thru the wall.

[IronFist]

Lost Disciple, I understand your point, but I'm almost positive this guy has used roids in the past, just like a large percentage (if not the majority)) of professional athletes.

Iron

"Now why the **** would you censor "d.ork?"

Ironman PostLog: 1100 - 11/20/01

"Don't you get cose to me with that knofe or I'll have to dofond mosolf!" - KC Elbows

[truewrestler]

HEELHOOK!!!

Some people can just let you punch them and they won't be phazed. Others are so strong that is imposible to armlock them. Everyone is susceptable to a Heelhook! Just start crying and lay down in the fetal position. Once he gets mount its...bye bye squating career. Mr.ACL, say hello to snap, crackle, and pop.

<img src=http://www.mixedmartialarts.com/images/MOTW/111.jpg>
<img src=http://www.mixedmartialarts.com/images/MOTW/113.jpg>
<img src=http://www.mixedmartialarts.com/images/MOTW/115.jpg>

[respectmankind]

Well, if it gets pushed that far, anything goes. The throat is what I would go for, hook it, then if that was not enough take it up a notch. Drive the hand straight into it instead of a hook. That would even stop a Evangelist.

"Alright you primative screw heads listen up, see this, this is my BOOM STICK! 12 gauge double barrel Rimington, S-Marts top of the line. You can find this in a sporting goods department. Thats right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails about, 109.95, its got a walnut stock, kolbolt blue steal, and a hair trigger. Thats right, shop smart, shop S-Mart, YOU GOT THAT?!? Now I swear, the next one of you primates, even touches me..." - Bruce Campbell, Army of Darkness.

[panos]

All things said are ok. I will not offer an other techique but i will answer more general. He has strength, you must have skill. If he spents 5 hours a day in gym (and takes oids) you can't expect to beat him up if you train once a week for 1 hour. If you have the skill you will beat him up easily. But skill requires practise practise and practise.

[Royal Dragon]

I think you arte right about the abilitys of theses "Strong Men" types. I've seen them bend frying pans up like a rolled up news paper.

As for the guy that said he ddoes'nt think the knees could be strengthened? Got news for you, the knees are held together by tendons and ligaments. YOU CAN STRENGTHEN them!!!!! It's simple, hold deep stances for a couple of minutes to maybe 10 every other day. Do squats allot, you know that thingy on the end of your wieght bench you use to build you thighs? that also builds the kness ALOT!!!

Trust me, I've tried to topple guys like that in the past, and they don't go down. They just lock thier strength in thier legs and you can't buckle their knees. And some of the shots MY knees have taken over the years proved that the knee breaks and other sure fire knee strikes are NOT as effective as people think, especially against a "'Roid freak".

Basically, you have to fight like a Monkey or go Bagua on them. Run circles around them, evade avoid and duck and slip. You must becaome as slippery as ice on a warm 32 degree day. Take any open shot you've got, hit hard and fericiously. If he gives you head shots use that strike you used when you broke like 6 patio tiles with no spacers. I've got sa shot like that that once blew a hole in a concrete wall (real wall in an industrial building). I'd probually run in circles around him untill I could get THAT perticular shot in, as I'm sure if his head did'nt burst, it would at least provide a one shot knockout.

"IF", that did'nt work on the first shot (God, I don't see how a blow like that coul'nt) I would try again a few times, but if it still did'nt do anything I'd have to run, if he has not yet gottten a hold of me and crushed me like a beer can yet.

Royal Dragon

Those that are sucessful are also the biggest failures. the difference between them and the rest of the failures is this, they keep getting up over and over again, until they succeed. "The more they try, the more they fail, BUT, the more they try & fail, the more opertunity they have to succeed, and succeed they do!!"



Check out the Royal Dragon Web site & Message Board.

http://www.Royaldragon.4dw.com or http://www.dreamwater.net/biz/royaldragon/

[Wongsifu]

go for the ballz
:eek:

This is because THC is not an alkaloid. It does not contain a nitrogen atom, therefore it is a terpenophenolic compound

[jimmy23]

Hes a big strong guy, theres only one real defense. Buy him a beer , big guys love beer.

"A group of guys walks towards, and pass by you. It seems that nothing happens. Later, of by "surprse" a person with a big hammer slam on your skull. True story. That person still have a big hole on his head.
What can you do??????"

[JWTAYLOR]

More sage words than that have never been spoken.

JWT

If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV

[phantom]

This has worked well for me against bigger guys in the past. But what if he stays on the move too? You could try to sweep his legs out, but that does not always work. So what do you do then?

[respectmankind]

Royal Dragon, what type of strike were you talking about?

"Alright you primative screw heads listen up, see this, this is my BOOM STICK! 12 gauge double barrel Rimington, S-Marts top of the line. You can find this in a sporting goods department. Thats right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails about, 109.95, its got a walnut stock, kolbolt blue steal, and a hair trigger. Thats right, shop smart, shop S-Mart, YOU GOT THAT?!? Now I swear, the next one of you primates, even touches me..." - Bruce Campbell, Army of Darkness.

[Kristoffer]

Elbow to face,,,
knee him to hell :D
head-butts,,
Bite, tear with fingers/nails

attack weak points like eyes, ears, throat, groin, ribs (with a knee). Forget body blows.

~K~
"maybe not in combat.. but think of the chicks man, the chicks!" -- someone on the subject of back-flips in combat --

[Royal Dragon]

I made it up trying to deciper the first palm change in Bagua. The best public example of it was done in the UFC by Keith Hackney, when he downed that really big giant guy with a palm strike to the head. Only I hit a cinder block wall in the shop like that. It blew an almost perfectlt round hole in the block about the size of a half dollar. It was centered right under the middle of the palm heel's impact zone.

Go rent some of the old UFC fights, and look for Hacney's fight with the Giant 600 pound fighter (can't remember his name right now), you'll see almost the same blow.

Royal Dragon

Those that are sucessful are also the biggest failures. the difference between them and the rest of the failures is this, they keep getting up over and over again, until they succeed. "The more they try, the more they fail, BUT, the more they try & fail, the more opertunity they have to succeed, and succeed they do!!"



Check out the Royal Dragon Web site & Message Board.

http://www.Royaldragon.4dw.com or http://www.dreamwater.net/biz/royaldragon/

[KnightSabre]

I've grappled with Mark Robinson.He's 5'11 and 299 pounds.He was a very good powerlifter and is one of the strongest men in the world,he benches over 600 pounds and holds a deadlift record.
I'm 6'0 close to 220 and can bench 310 x 6
reps.

The difference in strength was rediculous and the only thing that kept me from getting squashed right off was the fact that I kept moving and went with rather than against his movements.If I didn't have my BJJ techs he would have taken me out in about 5 secs.I lasted about 3 minutes as a result of BJJ.He got me in a can oppener,hurt like crazy.

"You're Good Kid Real Good,But As Long As I'm Arround You'll Always Be Second Best See".

[JWTAYLOR]

KnightSabre, I wish you could have seen the look on my face when I read that a guy with a 600lb bench and a dead lift record put on a can opener. I'm still cringing.

JWT

If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV

[truewrestler]

it looked painful enough when Mark Kerr got it on someone. I can only image Mark Robinson. Owwwww

Why didn't you armbar him? his arms were right there ;)

[truewrestler]

<font color=red size=6>AAAAHAHGHHGH, *crack crack*

I can't feel my legs!!!</font>

<img src=http://www.sherdog.com/fightfinder/pictures/120.jpg>

[Nichiren]

Knightsabre: I agree...

I've sparred with a BIG guy(~130kg) on the JJ matt and he just forced me down with brute strenght, he then tried to mount me, I moved and did pretty ok(he couldn't finish me) until I reached a wall --> The horror, the horror...

[JWTAYLOR]

If you've got a long neck and the opponent knows what he's doing, it just gets worse. My former wrestling partner/teacher got me so bad that the back of my head was in his chest and he then started to crunch down.

For a brief moment, I thought I might reach a man's ultimate yoga goal, if you know what I mean.

BTW KnightSabre, I just put the name together. You work out with a quite famous man in the world of powerlifting. I both envy and pity you. Good luck.

JWT

If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV

[truewrestler]

haha ;)

[KnightSabre]

"why didn't you arm bar him?"
Well Marks arms are as big as my legs and once he had the can oppener on I couldn't straighten my hips let alone put one of my legs over his shoulder,I decided to tap so that I didn't end up in a wheel chair.

One thing though,Mark is a real nice fellow.
He seems to have no ego.

"You're Good Kid Real Good,But As Long As I'm Arround You'll Always Be Second Best See".