What matters most?

[MonkeySlap Too]

I was just talking to a student of mine, and this student seemed genuinely puzzeled by what I said.

STUDENT: What happens if you have kids, and they don't like martial arts?

ME: They can like whatever they want to.

STUDENT: I thought martial arts were the most important thing to you.

ME: Nope. First my family, then my career, then my martial arts. It is a big part of my life, but it's a distant third.

My student seemed astounded. I see the logic in my approach to life, but somehow I think I was expected to be some kind of monk who put CMA above family and career. An option, that I can't say never tempted me, but just is not as rewarding. Why would I put FIGHTING above a solid home life?

Which got me thinking. I always was billed as (mostly by my teacher) someone who trains fighters. When I look around at my students, I don't think it's true. Always being picky, I think I train nice people how to fight. There is a difference there. And while I love to fight, I find being nice is the best self-defense in real life scenarios. (Not always applicable, but good for 99% of the time)

Anybody else come across stuff like this? Do you expect your teachers to sacrifice all for the art? Do you expect yourself to?

[Water Dragon]

Fuggit. if he wants the grown up dojo boy fantasy let him. Some people just have to defend the Shaolin Temple. Myself, I probably spend too much time trying to get this stuff to fit into the modern world.

I want my martial art to fit into my life. I don't want my life to fit into my martial art.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

tell him he'll understand when he has kids.

until then he should just be careful not to screw up any relationships that may have went somewhere by making them lower on the priority list.

unless he just wants to train and bang ho's all his life . .. which actually seems like it would be pretty da mn cool.

[rogue]

I'm with you on this one Monkey Slap. I'd be much further along in my rank if I didn't miss classes to spend more time with the wife and kids, but I'd rather see my family and be there for them than chase after a silly belt. The good thing is that I still find time to train solo and have enough friends to work out with outside of class.

[Skarbromantis]

I train with my stepson.... nothing beat's training kung fu with the family.

Skard1

[Justa Man]

Anybody else come across stuff like this? Do you expect your teachers to sacrifice all for the art? Do you expect yourself to?

yea, i pretty much sacrifice a whole lot for kung fu. i haven't had a serious girlfriend in years, and whenever i was in a relationship that was beginning to demand more time and effort than i wanted to give to it (because it would subsequently take way from my training time), i cut her off.
my work schedule revolves around my training which means i cover all my basic expenses and have very little money to spend or to save.
and lately whenever i've been hanging with friends or going to the movies, i've though that i've been wasting precious training time.
i guess it doesn't help having a shifu who is on my back alot about my lack of skills in one department or another, but i guess he just wants the best out of his students.
it hasn't always been like this, only the last couple of years. then again, i do want to become a shifu myself oneday, so that explains a whole lot.

[Apprentice]

I'm only 17, and pretty much all i think about is martial arts...its been kinda hard to find a job lately, but i've been considering just taking up a paper route or something, just so i can afford my gung fu classes, and thats it, and just stick with that for a while, but i think i should try to find a real job too,(just as long as i have time to goto class :cool: )

[MonkeySlap Too]

Yeah, the age gap. Do it while your young. I did.

[scotty1]

"I want my martial art to fit into my life. I don't want my life to fit into my martial art."

Nice, thats exactly what I think. Although all I have is a girlfriend and work, time is still at a premium. And training definitely comes - LAST!! Obviously, if I didn't work, I wouldn't be able to support myself, so that's top, and my girlfriend is next, followed by Kung Fu. Sure I could go on the dole and dump my girl so i could train all day every day, but then I'd be one sad fu(k, right?

Er, right?!:confused:

Just kidding, as I keep saying, Kung Fu is meant to enrich your life, not enslave it.