les paul
12-20-2001, 08:32 PM
This is actually a response to another post, but being a true story
I decided to spred some holiday cheer, so go ahead and yuk it up!
This is what can happen when you are playing Mr bad azz!
The day before my royal ass whooping I had exchanged some chin music (unpleasant words) with an ape-man. The next day I was at a bar, when I got up to hit the can, I turned the corner and WHAM! The mother of all sucker punches hits me in the face. I was covered in blood from head to toe, nose split wide open and defiantly broken. There I stood, swooning like a top! I don’t know how long I stood there, but it seemed forever. The funny thing is when I finally got my senses back the guy (the apeman from the day before) just stood there watching and laughing at me. Finally, I shook it off. (I don’t know how I didn’t pass out) I got my composure and said with bravado “Your ass is mine now *****!” and began to drive in with my own “mother of all haymakers”
Now here is where the story gets freaky!
There was a lady nearby, who was watching the whole thing go down. When she saw that I was going to retaliate, she jumped in-between us and yelled “Stop fighting!” with her arms held high. just like that chick on Saturday night live, i.e. the school girl who sniffs her armpits
Aww what a saint ……yea right! She stood by and let this cave man force feed me his fist and then when it was my turn, decided to get all noble ………Bull****
Blam!
I accidentally hit her right in the side of the head with everything I had as she jumped inbetween us (remember I was aiming for the gorilla who just jumped on me) I swear she was air born.
Crash!
She toppled into a bunch of people like a bowling ball hitting the pins. Before I new it I was grappling with the huge ape dude, Somehow I wound up on top of him in some funky arm bar and half girlyman hair pull thing, while at the same time slamming his head against the concrete floor. Just as his eyes were beginning to role back into his head,
Blam!
I was power mojo kicked in the ribs.
Then I was kicked again by someone else, then I was punched, then kicked, then punched again etc.
I was mobbed, pimp style!
What had happen was the people who saw me strike the lady went ghetto berserk !
(It didn’t help that she was dating a guy who recently got into an auto accident and lost the use of his legs ……Ah… you could say she had public support on her side…and yes, her boy friend was well known and liked to to these people)
I was pulled off my assailant, by the mob and dragged to up the stairs by my hair, coat and belt. Thud thud went the sound of my back on the stairs. People were throwing bear, liquor and god knows what else on me, also kicking me and somone even stomped on my groin! Finally, I was tossed out of the backdoor of the bar on a bunch of stinking garbage.
There I was, bloodied and reeking with beer and the smell of garbage!
Since then I’ve broken bones, major cuts and been into many a fight…(Hell, one time I put a drill through my hand …the bit snapped causing the jagged end, still in the drill, to go through my palm in one side and out the other….yea that ****in hurt!)
But I never had anything hurt as bad as my pride did after that night in that bar
I think The Moral of the story is: Don't get up to go to the bathroom in a bar. er wait...... maybe....... never hit a handicap's girlfriend.....er uh never mind
Spanky
I decided to spred some holiday cheer, so go ahead and yuk it up!
This is what can happen when you are playing Mr bad azz!
The day before my royal ass whooping I had exchanged some chin music (unpleasant words) with an ape-man. The next day I was at a bar, when I got up to hit the can, I turned the corner and WHAM! The mother of all sucker punches hits me in the face. I was covered in blood from head to toe, nose split wide open and defiantly broken. There I stood, swooning like a top! I don’t know how long I stood there, but it seemed forever. The funny thing is when I finally got my senses back the guy (the apeman from the day before) just stood there watching and laughing at me. Finally, I shook it off. (I don’t know how I didn’t pass out) I got my composure and said with bravado “Your ass is mine now *****!” and began to drive in with my own “mother of all haymakers”
Now here is where the story gets freaky!
There was a lady nearby, who was watching the whole thing go down. When she saw that I was going to retaliate, she jumped in-between us and yelled “Stop fighting!” with her arms held high. just like that chick on Saturday night live, i.e. the school girl who sniffs her armpits
Aww what a saint ……yea right! She stood by and let this cave man force feed me his fist and then when it was my turn, decided to get all noble ………Bull****
Blam!
I accidentally hit her right in the side of the head with everything I had as she jumped inbetween us (remember I was aiming for the gorilla who just jumped on me) I swear she was air born.
Crash!
She toppled into a bunch of people like a bowling ball hitting the pins. Before I new it I was grappling with the huge ape dude, Somehow I wound up on top of him in some funky arm bar and half girlyman hair pull thing, while at the same time slamming his head against the concrete floor. Just as his eyes were beginning to role back into his head,
Blam!
I was power mojo kicked in the ribs.
Then I was kicked again by someone else, then I was punched, then kicked, then punched again etc.
I was mobbed, pimp style!
What had happen was the people who saw me strike the lady went ghetto berserk !
(It didn’t help that she was dating a guy who recently got into an auto accident and lost the use of his legs ……Ah… you could say she had public support on her side…and yes, her boy friend was well known and liked to to these people)
I was pulled off my assailant, by the mob and dragged to up the stairs by my hair, coat and belt. Thud thud went the sound of my back on the stairs. People were throwing bear, liquor and god knows what else on me, also kicking me and somone even stomped on my groin! Finally, I was tossed out of the backdoor of the bar on a bunch of stinking garbage.
There I was, bloodied and reeking with beer and the smell of garbage!
Since then I’ve broken bones, major cuts and been into many a fight…(Hell, one time I put a drill through my hand …the bit snapped causing the jagged end, still in the drill, to go through my palm in one side and out the other….yea that ****in hurt!)
But I never had anything hurt as bad as my pride did after that night in that bar
I think The Moral of the story is: Don't get up to go to the bathroom in a bar. er wait...... maybe....... never hit a handicap's girlfriend.....er uh never mind
Spanky