Ninjas are Invincible

[Mr. Nemo]

Ninjas are mammals (http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~rahjr79/ninja.htm )

[PHILBERT]

lol, that is just beyond funny. I thought it would be somewhat useful until I saw plastered in 32 font "The Official Ninja Webpage".

Just some punk teens.

[IronFist]

God I'm choking because I'm laughing so hard...
My eyes are seriously tearing up...

lolololololololololol

:D :p :D :p :D :p

Iron

[neptunesfall]

i just woke up my neighbors laughing at this.

Ninja, Please
*
*
Scene 1:* *
Ninjas walk down street to go eat some food.* Ninjas are all wearing black and looking totally sweet.* There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped.* Then some dude jumps out of nowhere.* The ninjas start beating this guy’s ass bad.* Then the dude starts trying to run away, but one ninja pulls out a ninja star (ninja weapon) and throws it at the dude.* The ninja star cuts the guy’s head totally off.* The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome.* The ninjas then start flying and everybody starts screaming.* Then the scene ends. *

Scene 2:*
A ninja is sleeping at his house.* Some idiot walks by singing a super annoying song.* Then the ninja wakes up super ****ed and ready to rock.* The guy just keeps walking and singing, while the ninja starts cutting down a building.* When the guy walks by the building, it falls on him.* (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.)* There will be a close up of the dude’s feet sticking out from under the building.* The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure.* Then we see that the ninja was playing the guitar.* Then the ninja starts flipping out hard and totally wails on the guitar.* Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and ninja starts wailing even harder (if that’s even possible).* Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.
*
END
-I thought of this script one night right before bedtime.* I got so pumped I almost kicked my mom right in the face!*

[Mr. Nemo]

This site is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet. The purpose of ninjas is to flip out and kill people.

[Ryu]

Holy crap! LOL!! :D

Where'd they find that music???



Okay, just repeat the mantra to yourself Ryu... "Hatsumi's stuff is NOT like this, Hatsumi's stuff is NOT like this..." LOL


Ryu

[Budokan]

Very funny! LOL! He takes a shot at the weakest point of anyone who practices this art--their pride!

[SanHeChuan]

dam!!!! That site is so retarded, I love it. That guy has some serious problems and I love it. I think I’m going to go flip out right now, because like the man said, ninja’s just don’t give a F*ck.

That site is Sweet, I love that music too, it just makes me want to jump up and start doing some ninja sh*t, oh Sh*T that reminds me of when me and my friend would play stealth assassins, we would always say we were about to do some Ninja sh*t. I love it.

dun dun dun....

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

da mn .. i wish i could be a ninja.

[Juggler]

Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

Classic, classic.

:D

[straight blast]

I just can't get enough of that music...:D

[Kristoffer]

:D :D

[Ryu]

Okay you guys DO KNOW that the real art is almost completely opposite of all the D&D ninja crap that has gone on in the entertainment world, right?? :D

Ryu

[Yung Apprentice]

Show of hands who signed the guestbook! I signed it Robert the Butt Slayer!!! But it didn't fit all the things I wrote.

[Felipe Bido]

Man, THE MUSIC!, THE MUSIC!

[KC Elbows]

Ryu, where are you getting your info? Everyone knows that the ninja wear their ninja getups all day, every day, tossing smoke bombs from the secret compartments in their sword-ladders and beheading people with their "ninja stars" until they fulfill their most honorable goal of killing chuck Norris and Michael Dudikoff.
:D :D :D

[Ryu]

:( Whaat??? Man, I've been learning that they were families in Japan that came up as a counter culture to the samurai elite, and fought when their way of life and beliefs were threatened!
AND that they DIDN'T wear masks and run around with tonfa and nunchaku in their belt..! :( Awwwww I've been making an IDIOT out of myself...why didn't someone tell me!

Blast! Fooled again!

:D
Ryu

[KC Elbows]

Its OK Ryu. That's just disinformation that the ninjas put out to get Michael Dudikoff off of their trail. You've got your tabi boots and climbing spikes, don't you?

[old jong]

Ninjas are great but I heard that they can carry dangerous diseases. Always wash your hands after manipulating your ninja (http://www.ninjaturtles.com/mov1pix/mov43.JPG) ;)

[red5angel]

I got so excited about this site, I almost kicked my boss in the head!

[Yung Apprentice]

I got so excited.....I ****ed!!!!! Never mind. It was just the ninja website giving me gas.

[Kristoffer]

hihihihihih *giggeling lika a girl* :D :rolleyes:

[Yung Apprentice]

WOW! They block out ****? I mean F A R T? Thats weeeeeeird!

[Budokan]

"Nobody can resist a ninja wailing on his axe."


That is so friggin' FUNNY!:D This is one clever site.

[Mr. Nemo]

In response to Ryu's claim that "real" ninjas are not like the totally sweet ones on the page that flip out all the time, I give the site author's manifesto, "Dear stupid idiots":

"A lot of you have been signing my guest book and saying that I don’t know anything about REAL ninjas. But that’s a bunch of bull crap! You dummies don’t know anything. And maybe YOU should get a life. I bet a lot of you have never even seen a girl naked! You idiots believe that ninjas had some “code of honor”, just because you read Ching Chong’s guide to ninjas and codes and stuff. Yeah right! You shouldn’t believe everything you read. If by “code of honor”, you mean “code to flip out and go nuts for absolutely no reason at all even if it means that people might think you are totally insane or sweet”, then you are right. But if you mean a "code to be nice and speak nicely while sharing and not cutting off heads", then you’re the biggest idiot ever!!!!!! So if you have any brains, you will shut up and get a life. So go shut up, you stupid idiot."

[DelicateSound]

Q: What do ninjas do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)

F*cking Legend!

I am CRYING at this music. Just goes ON and On.........

[DelicateSound]

This Christmas, I want my own Ninja.........

.......no I don't, just a tape of that music.

[Fish of Fury]

Ryu, are you nuts?!

there aren't any real ninjas anyway, cos i've never seen them.

but the ones that aren't there are all like covered in tabis and spikes and black stuff, and they carry 17 different sets of 'chucks and at least one lifesized replica of themselves like sho kosugi.

and they have caltrops to throw in the path of rampaging Michael Dudikoffs

[KC Elbows]

And that's just in broad daylight!

[DelicateSound]

At night they secretly eat Oatcakes. It's what gives them their powers.

So secretly, I AM A NINJA!!!

Sorry.

[SanHeChuan]

dun, dun, dun...

[PHILBERT]

Ninja BABE





Scene 1:

There is this super rich stupid idiot who lives in a humongous house. At his house, this guy has babes lying all over the place. The next scene is hot. The guy takes this super hot babe back to his room to make-out. The audience will think that the hot babe is a normal babe, but, yeah right, she's a ninja. The ninja woman smashes the guy's head like a melon. Then all these dogs come out of nowhere and the ninja woman has to beat the dogs' asses. First she kicks this one dog right in the nuts. The dog screams and jumps out the window. Then she jumps in the air and kicks two dogs in the nuts at once! Both dogs evaporate. Every time the ninja woman kicks nuts, a guitar squeals hard. Then the ninja woman has to battle the boss dog. The boss dog is huge. Before the boss dog can attack, she uppercuts the boss dog's nuts so hard that the boss explodes. Then the guitar squeals REALLY hard and explodes.

End

-This script is awesome.


Wow, that is a short movie. Will that awesome music from the site be playing in the movie too?

[SevenStar]

Delicate, I can grant part of yhour christmas wish. I can get the music for ya. It's the track by Jay-Z and the UGK called "Big Pimpin" The real song sounds better though.

Here's the story of one big pimp:
http://www.illinimedia.com/buzz/2001/10/04/feature/stories/feature01.shtml

and of a female big pimp:

http://www.collegestories.com/stories/jan1701_01.html

And of the online programming project, PIMP:
http://sourceforge.net/projects/bigpimpin/


This site is awesome. I'm going to try for the ninja scholarship. Also, I think I'm gonna audition for a part in Ninja, Please.

"Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninjas are very careful and precise. "

[Ryu]

............ ah.......a........ I......... :eek:
........I read that "script" .......I ........ my brain...... ugh.....

dying....... ugh.....


Ryu

[PHILBERT]

Man, and I thought Titanic was a long movie. This looks longer. One whole scene!

[SevenStar]

Ryu, are you saying that you didn't like the script?

[Mr. Nemo]

Ryu, you should take that lame anime script thing you posted about a while ago and turn it into something more like "Ninja, please".

[SanHeChuan]

dun, dun, dun...