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ninja turtle
12-27-2001, 04:09 PM
has anyone ever had a deeply spiritual relationship with another person? Something that surpassed sexual desire and the common objectification of that other person?

I don't know how to phrase what i'm asking- i don't even know exactly what i'm asking....

have you ever been so "moved" by another person that you were changed/altered by them? as if you felt their soul?

Nexus
12-28-2001, 01:19 AM
Just as a comment, be cautious in a relationship of that sort as people often get so close "spiritually" so to speak that they feel like they are at "One" with the other person and connect in this indescribable way. This could lead to you suddenly feeling as if you need to distance yourself from that person as your individuality is being altered-augmented/uprooted.

Spiritual relationships are though infact uncommon and most relationships with people never reach that level.

Lots of good learning experiences can come from such relationships though and they can prove interesting as well if you have a spiritual relationship with the opposite sex that is also a sexual relationship.... Perhaps I have said too much? :-D

yuxiang
12-28-2001, 01:58 AM
I know when I met my wife, I had to be with her for the rest of my life. It was an existence thing. I didn't even think about sex or things like that. I just wanted to "be" with her.
Its still that way. We just went a bit further and satisfied the world requirement of having a piece of paper in order to be with each other.

Cody
12-28-2001, 10:45 AM
I have been that close. Not something I'll discuss now.

Nexus has made some good comments. No, he hasn't said too much.

The sort of union you speak of is something that is necessary for some people; in fact, they would not consider a relationship serious without it. I am such a person. However! Connection and this sort of union need not involve an alteration of self, what you regard as the fabric of yourself. You are sharing on a deep level, which might almost approximate possession at times. Yet, it is not, and shouldn't be that. It's not like changing an opinion when you are more open to the views of a loved one. This is far more serious. Even at the closest moments, you are you and your SO is your SO. No matter what the degree of sharing, if you are feeling yourself being altered on a deep level, I would pull back a bit to see what is going on.
See, when two people get together, even on a mundane level, the possibility of change in one or both is active, generally in the realm of habits, opinions, views of the world. But, the self. That is very deep. You must look at what is being changed and whether this is what you want for Yourself. Whether the change is purely the result of rearrangement that can come about in a sharing situation, or whether you are being changed in another fashion.
You might be okay. Just experiencing something new and wonderful and trying to understand it. But, ultimately, your self, your autonomy, your spiritual essence is of you.
How are you being changed, both in direction and means? Write it down. Test whether independence of spirit, a healthy independence, is taken well by your partner.

take care, and I hope it works out,

Cody

ninja turtle
12-28-2001, 01:50 PM
Nexus- A unity- in some way, perhaps. We both want to be near to each other- but can't be. Something changed within me- I can't describe it- but what I once doubted is now apparent.
You did not say too much- I wish that aspect was possible- but at the same time- for the first time in my life- I could care less.

Yuxiang- i NEVER, NEVER, NEVER liked the IDEA of marriage, or having kids. Couldn't ever conceive of being involved in something like that..... until now. I can actually see it as a possibility- not a probability- especially not anytime soon- but I... I actually like the idea, since she came into my life.

Cody- It's not that I wanted, or had forseen, or even tried for this change in me- it just happened. It just hit me. All of a sudden I saw things clearly.

This perfect woman, an impossible love, inspired me- unintentionally changed me. We can't be together- and yet we feel the same for eachother. *This joke is no longer funny, life*
Thank you for your comments- they have helped me. I think I was just looking for a place to vent my confusion, frustration and lack of understanding- hoping maybe someone else's experiences or wisdom could, somehow, be applicable to my own conundrum, and the solving of it.

prana
12-28-2001, 02:51 PM
uniting the fierce and the wise
this is great, congratulations
also understand though, even with utmost respect
sometimes friction occurs to the best of us
and hence we practise our loving kindness and selflessness
for the ones whom we have announced love
and the uniting of fierce and that of wisdom.
Protect your deity as she will protect you.

She sounds perfect through your eyes, and thats great...

ninja turtle
12-29-2001, 09:12 AM
Thank you prana.

shaolinboxer
01-02-2002, 11:49 AM
Do you mean love?

Yes.

What did I do?

I loved and continue to love.

ninja turtle
01-03-2002, 08:59 AM
I don't know if I perceived what you typed as it was meant to be perceived- but, I'm feeling it. It hit me. It definitely hit me.

cherrypraxis
01-22-2002, 08:04 PM
ninja turtle:

i know exactly what you're going through...
i'm in a similar position filled with confusion and indescribable pain and joy. what complicates my situation is that my "emotional" mind wants something other than what is apparent in the romance of the distance between my friend and i. in his words, we have a "link" and that it is "synchronicity" between us. he has other links in this time-space continuum with others; some, perhaps, more valuable than others. he once told me that cake has relationships with its non-cake elements that in turn have relationships with other elements beyond the non-cake ones. the eggs, the flour and what have you have had previous relationships and being one and combined to make the cake does not diminish their previous or future relationships. they are just...there...linked.

he is, to borrow an arabic phrase of endearment and deep connection, "the light of my eyes"; the eyes being the windows of and to the soul...

in persian myth and in islam sufism, satan is god`s lover. god is the beloved who banishes satan and says, "go to hell."
hell is the eternal echo of god`s words and his absence is the absence of the beloved from the lover`s life. hell is the separation of the lover from the beloved. love, therefore, is the union of the lover and the beloved where one is neither subdued or subduing, subjugated or subjugating but a fluidity of forces that act, react and interact with each other. that, in its very essence, is the wonder and the mystery of the universe...

i suggest you read rumi or attar, but especially rumi. the pain of separation hurts. it is hell to be separated from the beloved but dance beyond the pain and look beyond and listen to the music of your soul. realize that it is a gift and that the light of your beloved will always be within you...

KC Elbows
01-23-2002, 11:37 AM
I am glad to say that I have this sort of relationship, though not on the level where we lose ourselves. Good luck, it can be great. There will be friction, as there always is, but the friction is not important, IMO, its what you do to endure/overcome it that matters.

Before I met my wife, I had a dream. I was sitting on the ground, and across from me was this gorgeous woman. The entire dream consisted of us just sitting there comfortably by each other, not having to say a word to each other or make outward displays, just enjoying each other's company. After the dream, I no longer tried so hard to look for the right woman, or have a preconception about what woman was right for me, and when I met my wife, we slowly grew that close, and its been great.