People just dont understand

[EARTH DRAGON]

Just want to share a cute story with you all......I went to a freinds son's b- day party the other day and was talking with some of the guys I just met when some one asked what I did for a living I said I own a kung fu school and teach full time. He said oh your a black belt? I said yea kinda he said well you either are or you arent, I said actually recieved a black belt several years ago but I teach a chinese style called 8 step praying mantis. the guy asked if he could see a move, I said well instead of me locking you up in your living room at your sons b- day how about I show you something much more high level. He said OK I said hold your hand up and he said are you going to kick it? I said no just relax, and then I walked across the room from him held up my fingers and did what we call (chiagu ping qigong) which takes the cultivated qi on our bodies and shoots it out the finger tips for healing patients in medical qigong A high level technique. His hand shook and he said it felt like I was contracting the muscles in his hand and it felt weird. Well for the next hour I tried and tried to explain it and make the people at the party understand but they had no clue. They said oh like what jackie chan does... I laughed and said no not exactly....So I am just wondering how many of you have had a similar experience and tried to make people comprehend what you have spent your life doing, or tried to explian what internal means or what the hell is tai chi and why do people do it? please share

[count]

:D

[prana]

on a much smaller scale, (ie. less energy capability scale) yes, especially the black belt thingy !

Did you actually EXPECT these folks to understand, Earth Dragon?

Don't blame others for not being knowledgeable in 8-step praying mantis when they haven't trained in it.

[maoshan]

Most people are too thick headed to really understand what we do. In my experiance (it's terrible it's like this) I just have to take them down (most don't repect what we do either). Once convined they seem to begin to open thier minds. But then there are some cases where it's just hopeless. We just have to keep going if for nothing else ourselves.

Peace

[count]

:D :D :D

[count]

We love you!

[No_Know]

Listen for something close enough that you can say, "something like that." Then smile (might be chuckle), and drop it (go on to something not Kung-Fu explaination or proof~).

[taooftaichi]

Since I am a full time teacher of Tai Chi I encounter this situation quite often, that is trying to explain "what I do".

What I usually try to do is determine what the questioner knows already about some aspect of Tai Chi (that is, not that they know about Tai Chi at all, but some related info from another field may apply). If I find any common ground I will use that as a beginning point of reference.

For example, if I want to mention about the mind having an effect on the body before talking about chi, I may ask if he/she has had experience with or heard about biofeedback.

I might ask if they have ever had an acupuncture treatment, or at least have heard about acupunture. If yes, then give abrief idea about Tai Chi and Chi applications to health.

If what you are trying to do is educate the person, I feel it is best to start with whatever is familiar to them before moving into areas or explanations that are specific to Tai Chi.

Of course, if I'm in a playful mood and just want to joke with them I might say something along the lines of "I'm learning to be one with all."!! That usually gets the conversation into interesting areas!

[EARTH DRAGON]

I lhad to have fun also, I get a kick out of people when they think I am psycic or that I dable in teleconesis. After I shot chi through his hand he wanted to be my partner in darts, I laughed and said I cant really thorw darts well, they said come on you can make my hand move but you cant play darts? I think that they feel you are higher level or something and that your skill carries over into all aspects of life or something. As I try to explain what most people can't fathom they think that I am something I am not ...like a good dart player...........LOL

[Internal Boxer]

I tend not to talk about training to anyone expect the people I train with, I have no desire whatsoever to tell others, and I could not care less wether others think I do. But what I am concerned about is that the IMA are not seen as a load of hippie cr.ap by the rest of the MA community, that really pi$$e$ me off :mad: and there are still a lot of hippies who perpetuating this image, and thats why the rest of the MA community often do not take IMA seriously. So you lads who keep this real; keep up the good work, cause thats the only way we can show the MA community the effectiveness of the arts we are addicted to.

"Opinions are like a$$holes; everybodies got one" Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry.:cool:

[shaolinboxer]

I don't show people techniques, but I when people ask about aikido I give them a brief history and try to discuss it general focus/es and theories.

Rather than demonstrate acts of aiki (harmonizing chi), I try to find a scenrio that the listener has been involved in that has the same essence as what I study. For example, my grandfather was aking me about it and we found that his sailing races lead to experiences of aiki.

People seem to understand me just fine.

[Ray Pina]

I'm not at a level where I'm affecting anyone's chi, at least knowingly, and certainly not from across the room, but I get what you are saying.

I'm always training in the other room and my girlfriend doesn't quite understand that what I'm doing is not run of the mill martial arts, you just don't go into town to learn this stuff.

Also, when a "friend" comes over and we go up the block to train, she has no clue I'm about to fight with someone or chi sau very heavily. She'll see some bruises on the inside of my bicep (someone got a good shot on me and was kind to at least give me a stinger instead of a black eye) and ask, and I'll say I got it training.

I think its best like this. She knows enough to give me my space when I obviously need it and never gets involved when I want to go train in Chinatown on Friday's. That's important to me. Same with surfing. Those that know know, those that don't, well, just let them know how passionate you are and they'll at least seet the joy it brings.

[shaolinboxer]

"Those that know know, those that don't, well, just let them know how passionate you are and they'll at least seet the joy it brings."

Bravo EF! :)

[Crimson Phoenix]

I stopped mentionning martial training to "strangers at parties" except when it's real hard to dissimulate (like I'm all sweaty and carry a staff in a pouch and can't say I've been playing squash).
The few times I'd try mentionning things like "white crane" they do weird bird sounds and take some karate-kid stance, or when I mentionned baguazhang they'd go "bag what???"...nothing, nevermind, I just play badminton and I'm prone to heavy perspiration...
The less they know, the better anyway, I don't see what's the point of strangers knowing I train MA (it doesn't change anything to me or to them 99,99% of the time).

[MonkeyBoy]

I have never had any Interal prowess but I can realate to the experience. I had a friend in High School who one day told me his parents had paid for private lessons from some Karate Sensei. I figured somone must have already told him I had trained because he kept telling me how people like "us" are dangerous. He was intent on comparing skills, so like the moron I am, I obliged.

First he wanted to show me wrist locks but became frustrated because I countered all of them. He wanted me to stay still so he could show me how they worked, it was almost laughable.

He then wanted to spar and I gave in. But by spar he meant for me to stand there and throw punches and kicks at him so he could show me his technique. He was six foot plus and I'm short, so I just did some ground fighting instead. After a couple of takedowns he started telling me to stand up and just throw a punch. I told him that's not what I do. I switched to just checking his kicks and leaning out of his reach. I found myself regretting the whole thing.

I didn't know how to get out of this. All he had were straight punches, round house and snap kicks. Everything became an excuse, he didn't want to stop and I felt bad. I have never been a tough guy and was never top of my class but in this instance I outclassed my opponent.

Finally trying to keep him as a friend, I stood tall. I rushed in and stood on his forward foot and shoved him over. He declared that "that's not fighting," and in the end I lost him as a friend. Since then I have never told anyone outside of a class that I ever studied a thing.

[Nexus]

When asked to show a strange something from t'ai chi, I always invite them to a class as they are offered for free three times a week. I certainly don't feel cool or special by being able to make people feel chi, it can take the essence out of the art and it can very quickly lead to a loss of focus on the long term goals. Maybe though I only say that because I can't shoot my chi through a 12-foot thick titanium bank safe with a complete stranger on the other side as my victim...

[boy_analog]

Monkeyboy:

Perhaps I've gathered a distorted impression of your encounter with your former Karate friend, but your story pretty much begs for a response.


First he wanted to show me wrist locks but became frustrated because I countered all of them. He wanted me to stay still so he could show me how they worked, it was almost laughable.



Would it have been a bad thing for you to go along with his wishes? He would have shown you his joint locks, you would have said, "Wow, that hurts!" and he would have felt like his training was paying off. Then you could say, "Look, these are good up to a point, but it's not too difficult to counter. Try it again and I'll show you...". And then you do your stuff.

Again:


Finally trying to keep him as a friend, I stood tall. I rushed in and stood on his forward foot and shoved him over.

How exactly was this meant to preserve the friendship? It certainly sounds like he simply wanted to show his techniques, while you wanted to prove that you were the better fighter.

As I said, I could have gathered a false impression from your tale, but that's all I have to go on. It has been my experience that people will eventually recognise gentleness and forbearance (not always immediately, though), and will really respect you for it.

[shaolinboxer]

I agree with boy_analog.

To communicate with martial arts rather than out do someone is much more valuable.

All that happened in this scenario was that you left someone feeling hurt.

[Ray Pina]

I agree; BUT, at the same time, he should get over it and maybe even learn from it. It will come up time and time again if he sticks with it. Yes, he should have been a polite observor at first, then shown counters.

But the truth of the matter is that there will always be someone better. That has to be accepted. I accept it, but work to aleviate that. Being shown that pulling soemthing off for real and working on someone holding their first out are two different things.

If you friend is 12, you're just mean.;)

If you're friend is 17, 18 or older, you may have actually helped him if he has an open mind. If not, probbaly wouldn't have worked out for him anyway and there's always chess.

Be polite though. You can show an alternative without trying to be SUPERIOR (da da dada). There's always someone better. I actually like being around people better than me. It pushes me harder, and if they are better they know soemthing I don't, so its a chance to learn.

My present school has a few guys that have really impressed me the past few months. They were always quiet, but when my sifu was away they stepped up to the plate and shown what they really know. That was inspiring for me. Gives me something to aim for.

[MonkeyBoy]

Dear boy_analog,

Maybe it was how I told the story. My friend was always a bit competitive, whether it was academics or romantic conquests. To him fighting was another way to compete. As I remember it, he didn't ask me if I studied, he told me he knew. If anyone had an agenda that day, it was him. I would have rather spent my days chasing a Frisbee.

<<Would it have been a bad thing for you to go along with his wishes?>>

The more I went along and the more he wanted to up the ante. He was looking for that thing he was going to be better at. When he found out that you can go against the thumb or simply reverse some locks, he didn't want to know. I didn't see any way to bow out of it once the ball was rolling. I wasn't reeling him in, I was giving him a chance to save face. Some people can't explain technique but still can fight like the devil.

<<It certainly sounds like he simply wanted to show his techniques>>

Nope, he wanted to trade punches and to me that was just silly. I saw two options, let him land a shot or give him the stand up linear attack he was asking for. I gave him what he wanted, if for no other reason so he would just stop. In hindsight I may have done him more good by exposing his weaknesses, than sparing his ego. But I wasn't thinking like that either, I just wanted it to be over.

I didn't think my story would make me look bad, I thought it would illustrate how people don't appreciate what they don't know. Today I can think of a better way to handle it but I can say that about most everything I did more than 20 years ago.

<<It has been my experience that people will eventually recognise gentleness and forbearance (not always immediately, though), and will really respect you for it.>>

It has been my experience that most people take kindness for weakness.

[boy_analog]

Monkeyboy:

Your even-tempered response makes it quite clear to me that I did indeed misconstrue your story. Sorry about that.

It might be some consolation for you to consider that anyone who is that competitive isn't really your friend -- even if they think they are. Friends try to look after one another, not prove who's the boss.

About the kindness thing: maybe I've just been lucky. On a few occasions I've had acquaintances do a bit of MA training, and eagerly show me what they've learnt. I just co-operated with them until I got bored with that, and then I just showed them a counter. Each time they kinda went quiet and looked at me a little differently.

By the way, where in Long Island are you? I was born in Patchogue, and we moved to Australia when I was 8.

[joedoe]

I generally avoid telling people I train. Much easier. :)

My sigung once told us not to demonstrate anything to people who will not appreciate it. I found following that rule saves me a lot of frustration.

[MonkeyBoy]

analog_boy,

Thanks for taking the time to read my reply.

I live on the South Shore in Merrick.

[No_Know]

It seems that people in general tend to not even consider that I do Kung-Fu stuffs.

[cagey_vet]

hehe, ok there sunshine. there he goes again!
earth dragon, you continuously surprise me
with the off-the-wall stuff you come up with.
if you could truly do this, you should be able to
single-handedly further the internal arts by
demonstrating this to the world.

One of my student's mom keeps calling my art "karate".

But I don't get worked up about it.


If I weren't capable of understanding that people who don't train my style don't know ANYTHING about it, I'd have no business opening up a school in September.

[SifuAbel]

I usually say that I am fight or kickboxing coach or that I beat people for a living. "Coach" usually puts them off from asking for a demo. And if they do, it's out to the back of the house for a quick basic move or nerve pinch.

Keep in mind, this is just like a new student coming into your school. This person knows next to nothing besides what they see on TV and movies. Which is evident even here on the forum.

[EARTH DRAGON]

Acually I do , My teacher and I have done 6 seminars and demonstrations around various states. It is a high level technique but surley not unobtainiable. If you practice it becomes quite easy and used in many different ways but mostly for medical qigong treaments to heal specific aliments anywwere from back pain to cancer. I dont know why you are so skeptical other than never having the opportuity to feel chi or its forcesor have the slighest understanding of it. When you talk you sound as though you dont believe yet you are alive to type your messages so I dont know where your confusion lies..... I invite you to open your mind in your training and realize that qigong is very real.

Since I have many times tried to explian the feats and practices of qigong to cagey vet and he thinks that I am from mars can anyone else take a crack at it and help me out, let me warn you he has a thick head and hard time believing and laughs at the things I say out of lack of understanding I hope and not out of ignorance like he has shown on these boards before, but I feel for him and would love to help him understand that qigong is not a magic trick or impossilbe feats that cannot be obtainned. So maybe if someone else help this poor guy understand it would be helpful.... thank you please explain, I am blue in the face

[EARTH DRAGON]

Just so you dont think I am off the wall as you put it please read the "chi" thread it will be nice for you to see that I am not alone in what I have said about chi.........

[Justa Man]

...everytime i see this post i think of will smith's Parents Just Don't Understand.
I don't know, maybe it's the dimension I climb out of.