The ULTIMATE Challenge Match!

[MonkeySlap Too]

I found this on another forum. It seemed appropriate. Use it as you see fit KFO brothers and sisters and um, others.

The standard BJJ Post:
Once upon a time a (insert a high ranking belt) fighter from (insert your favorite striking / finger/wrist-lock art here) came to my BJJ school. I was just a (insert a low ranking belt here) and the guy outweighed me by (pick one: 25 pounds, 50 pounds, 1 million pounds, a couple of pounds but he was way stronger). Anyway, this guy thought he'd (pick one: start some **** with me, test out his taekwondo/karate/kungfu on me). Well needless to say I (pick one: tapped, choked, armlocked, heel hook, leg locked, mata-leo-dicaprio'd) him (pick one: 3 times in one minute, 5 times in one minute, non-stop). ****, and I was just a (insert low ranking belt)!!! I never saw him again.

[Mr. Nemo]

Here's that post's counterpart:

The standard "BJJ is only for the ring post" AKA "The Spitting Backfist Story":

A (BJJ guy/Wrestler/NHB fighter) came to my (gym/dojo/dojang/kwoon) the other day. He started talking about how (Royce Gracie/Rickson Gracie/Rorian Gracie) had destroyed a zillion (karate/kung fu/tae kwon do) fighters, and that these arts were not (practical/practicle). I respectfully pointed out to him that (BJJ can't deal with multiple attackers/BJJ only works on soft mats/none of these strikers were "real" practicioners of my art). He offered to demonstrate. He took me down and put me in an (armbar/triangle/rear naked choke), and told me he'd won. I merely (gouged his eyes/grabbed his groin/struck him in a pressure point), and the hold loosened, allowing me to escape. Then I (knocked him out/made him run away/tore his heart out and showed it to him before he died).

You get extra points if you claim to be a "wicked submission artist" that gave up grappling for kung fu, but fail to properly distinguish between the mount and the guard.