My boyfriend problems w/ kung fu

[The One]

I have a boyfriend who I have been seeing for 2 years now. Before we met, he knew CMA were a big part of my life. Recently, he's been acting really jealous when it comes to my training time. For example, last night he told me I spend too much time w/ kung fu, and not enough time w/ him. He has also complained that my boobs were getting smaller from training. I guess it's all the cardio work:)

For the last 6 months he's been giving me hell for all the time I spend at class. I'm about ready to tell him "see ya, and kiss these puppies goodbye." But, then again I'm not sure if he is just going through some moodiness or what.

Any advice in what I should do?

Jenny, I'm the one and only:)

[red_fists]

Hi Jenny.

I think you need to have a good talk with him, and tell him how you feel about the whole deal.

MA will have an impact on your private life, and you need to strike a balance somehow.

I wish I could train more, but with Job, Wife & Child I need to spend some time with them aswell.

Luckily my Wife is supporting my MA training as she knows it means a lot to me, but only aslong as I don't go overboard with time at the Kwoon.

[Mr. Nemo]

You will get called a man at least once before this thread drops.

[diego]

How do you feel each methods strengths add to each other while sparring or in combat.

[prana]

He has also complained that my boobs were getting smaller from training

Can I say, GIVE-AWAY ?

Not to mention, this thread will probably be one of the longest, and with most broken hearts :D ;)

[Wu Wei]

Heres my personal opinion on the matter. I hope it helps.

I take dating seriously. Any relationship thats not more important than things, even big things like MA, is a waste of time in my opinion, and I'm probably in the relationship for the wrong reasons.
If I was ever in your situation, I would have to think deeply about how important this person is to me. Because if they are thinking about leaving me(or vice versa) because of something I do I have to make a choice. Thats the bottom line.

It sounds to me like you've already decided that Its over if this isnt a phase, and hence you're saying that MA is more important to you. Then your decision is obvious whether or not it is easy.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

just tell him you are straight now.

besides, shouldn't he like the fact that you are ridding the earth of a set of man boobs?

[DelicateSound]

If he doesn't respect you enough to allow you to do other things you should seriously consider whether you want to be with him.

[Yung Apprentice]

Another question ( you have to ask yourself ) is if you are spending to much time in it. A two year relationship is not some fling. He maybe jealous, or maybe he's not, and one might be spending a little bit too much time in MA. Well obviously he is at least a little jealous, or he wouldn't have made the breast comment. Why dosen't he train? Maybe if he gets into MAs, maybe he wouldn't be so jealous, he dosen't have to train in the same place as you. But he would be more supportive.


Or maybe he's just PO'd cuz he's not gettin 'nuff nookie!!!:D

[Felipe Bido]

Knock him out with a single palm or a Pi Chuan in the head and wait for a while...this forum is full of guys who find the Xingyiquan/Baguazhang, 23 years old combination very sexy...


What was your number again? :D

[Kristoffer]

explain that this is your second passion besides him.. and that how much u train u wont drop interest in him. He should love ya just the same even if your melons shrinks a bit. Atleast your fit right? :) Then u teach him.. Teach him some simple stance/pi stuff.

He's jealous coz he LOVE you.. That is a possitive thing but he must learn how to respect you properly. Talk about this.. Calmly, without fighting.


I wish ya all the best!!

[tengu]

If there´s one thing that I´ve learnt in my years of living in relationships, it´s this: don´t make sacrifices!!! You´ll only regret it later on. If he doesn´t respect you enough to tolerate your dedication to the arts, he obviously doesn´t deserve you. And complaining about your physique??? That´s just ungentlemanly. But just like ol´ red fists said, really talk to him, "put the cat on the table" (a Finnish proverb) and sort him out. And if you don´t reach an understanding, may you be strong!

[guohuen]

Filipe has the right idea!

[Water Dragon]

If you're Asian, you should dump your boyfriend and go out with Ryu

[Skarbromantis]

If they call you a man, don't sweat it......

We have hade some men, who front like their ladies,on the forum dont take it personal, also welcome to the board!!

Skard1

[Water Dragon]

Things change. What may have been a valid agrrement between you two may not be 2 years later. You really need to sit down and figure out what the deal is. Are you ignoring him when you're not working out? Are you devoting too much time to CMA and not enough to the rest of your life? Have you hit a point where your needs and his no longer coincide?

This may or may not be Kung Fu related. It could be, but the guy might also want a way out or a way to control you. No one here can answer those questions.

[Merryprankster]

One is not moody for 6 months.

[JasBourne]

Troll. Not a real girl. Real girls know that your boobs do NOT get smaller from training, they get bigger because of the underlying muscle development.

Get lost, Shaneequa.

:p

[Water Dragon]

Originally posted by JasBourne
Troll. Not a real girl. Real girls know that your boobs do NOT get smaller from training, they get bigger because of the underlying muscle development.

Get lost, Shaneequa.

:p

For real? I always thought breasts did get smaller, due to them being more fat than anything else. But then again, I don't have a set so I don't really know :(

[JasBourne]

If you are exercizing solely to lose weight, yeah, they will get "smaller" as you lose the fat surrounding the actual breast tissue. But, if you are training to be fit, then even if you drop weight, your boobs will firm up because you are building up the muscles that are underneath and the ones holding them up. So, in essence, your boobs will look better and bigger.

[Merryprankster]

Um, yeah. I'll remember that the next time my athletic best friend complains her boobs are getting smaller from all the training she does:rolleyes:

No offense JasBourne, I just think it probably cuts both ways and depends on the individual.

Ah, see, you posted before I did--and you are ABSOLUTELY right. I've never met a girl in great shape with low body fat with saggy boobies :)

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

obviously you have never gotten naked with a 58 year old arobics instructor.

[Merryprankster]

I think I'm blind.

[Nexus]

User with 4 posts is already asking the forum to solve their relationship troubles? I think there are plenty of relationship-websites filled with information if you really wanted to find out some good suggestions.

Sounds like a troll. TROLL.

[GotQiGirl]

I thought lots of guys like girls do kungfu?
Maybe it's time for you to get another bf!

:D

[Mutant]

If he's jealous of your training and whining about it for 6 months then give him his walking papers, he's a lost cause and will only get more jealous and annoying over time.

Find yourself a kung fu guy and you can train together, or even if training seperate, will understand eachother better and respect time dedicated to MA. Find someone compatable who values training and self improvement.

If youre just a guy pretending to be a girl, then apply the same to your man-biatch.

If youre a real girl, then understand that some men prefer athletic and muscular women with tight perky breasts, not just big flabby jugs. :p

[Budokan]

LOL! You're probably just a lousy lay and he wants out.

[PHILBERT]

http://www.massassi.net/etc/kedri/dontfeed.jpg

http://zoomzoomzoom.50megs.com/images/deargod.jpg

[NorthernMantis]

GotQiGirl -

If you're the got qi girl in May's issue may I have you number?Serioulsy though, that girl in that mag is really cute.Will you consider dropping me e-mail if you are?

*crosses fingers and wishes real hard* x (>.<) x

[Royal Dragon]

tell him he's right, you HAVE been excluding him from your life. Then tell him your going to change by "allowing" him to work out with you. Take him to someplace with enough room, and put him through a grulleing warmuo and conditioning session followed by an equally gruling session of forms practice. Teach him something simple to do wile you go all out.

Then, when that is done, tell him it's sparring time, and start practicng on him. Complain when he wants to stop, tell him "What, I thought you wanted me to include you in my life more".

If he complainse your hitting him to hard, say "WHAT??, I'm holding WAY back becaue your a beginner, the guys at the Kwoon would'nt even feel this (Hit him really hard), then tell him to stop being such a wuss and be like the real men you train with.

Repete the process until he either jions your school to learn how to defend against you, or stops complainig.


Either that, or get him a "Blow up" doll to keep him company wile you are tending to your life :eek:


Either way, your problem should be solved :cool:

Royal Dragon

[nightair]

martial arts is a lifestyle and not a hobby to me. And before I started a relationship with a girl she would know that. I wish there were more girls that studied martial arts. That would be great if I had a girl freind whop studied Martial arts as much as I do.

[Chang Style Novice]

Just string him along until Valentine's Day. Hint that you have a big special surprise for him. On V-Day, punch him in the chest, puncture his ribcage, pull out his heart and show it to him as he dies, then kiss him on the cheek and say "We're breaking up."

[Gigante]

So you guys are saying that she's automatically right, and she should break up, or get him to train, or just train more and ignore him?

Perhaps she really is ignoring her boyfriend. Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices. There is the possibility that she's training too much. You don't know how much she's training. Perhaps she's neglecting other things in her life as well? family, school, whatever.

I just found out I'm gonna be a father. I expect the time I can devote to training to decrease quite a bit. Would you seriously tell me to forget about everyting else and just go on training as if I was the only person I have to care about?

[African Tiger]

Jenny, sweetheart, what is this guy, a woman? Spend time with me, talk to me, your boobs are getting smaller. Jeez, send him to Napa Valley with the other wineries!

Seriously, and I'm sure I'm not the only or last one to say something to this effect, lose this turkey. You can't spend every waking moment with someone - even if you could, you'd be at each other's throats within a month.

This is probably the only thing that occupies a lot of your time besides him, and if he can't handle it, tell that jealous whinny punk to step.

Then of course, should you ever desire a man with a prominent afro who studies Southern Shaolin, well...I think I know someone like that who can help you out! :D :D :D

[GotQiGirl]

Jenny, you are not the only Jenny.
My name is Jenny too!
:)

Maybe you can take him to CMA class, get him interested in it, so you both can practice together.
:P

Anyway, if he really likes you, he would support you for whatever you do.

Good luck!

~_^
Jenny

[tengu]

gigante, you got a point there; sometimes, yeah, you do have to make sacrifices. But really, you´re not suggesting that parenthood can ever, ever be compared to a romantic relationship? Anyways, congratulations on your fatherhood and good luck daddy-o!

[MonkeyBoy]

You are far better off with someone who wants to share your life, than with someone who wishes to control it.

Choose wisely.

[Yung Apprentice]

Alright! Congrats on being a new daddy!!:)

[anerlich]

Look at "Crouching Tiger" again if you want to see how a REAL CMA relationship should work - Michelle Yeoh and Chow Yun Fat's characters:

You meet as children, you lust after each other for 20 years without contact or revealing your true feelings, and then you lose one another in the end because some young upstart sends everything pear-shaped.

Does that sound like you? Me neither.

The guy you are allegedly tight with sounds like a major sad sack. Don't worry about the boobs thing, HEAPS of guys prefer petite, athletic bodies to big boobs.

If this guy doesn't support or care about your aspirations, deep-six him, life's too short to put up with that crap. In a sport/art where 80% of trainees are male, if not more, it should be a smorgasbord for you. Enjoy!

At least give the ******* a wake up call by leaving him for a while. Get your control back over the relationship.

And if you're a guy pretending to be a girl, you 're one of the better ones at it.

[Stacey]

I hear ya,

Most of the guys I've dated have been non MA types, mainly because lot of MA guys are people who couldn't play sports or have some other inadequacies.

A few guys I dated wanted me to cut back on training, but I just mentioned to them that martial arts is how I stay emotionally and spirtually balanced and happy.

This translated to them as, "If I quit martial arts, I will have permo PMS"

So after mentioning it in a subtle way, they are suddenly 110 percent behind me.

[Budokan]

Uh, right, fella.:rolleyes:

Kee-rist...

[diego]

:)

[Yung Apprentice]

:: In Ludacris type "You's a Hoe" song::





YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUS A MAAAAAAN!
YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUS A MAAAAAAAN!
YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUS A MAAAAAAAAAAN!

I SAID THAT YOUS A MAN!!!!



:D

[Jacki]

Kick his ass! If he breaks up with you it was never meant to be.

JK Smith

[Martial Joe]

Sounds like your having an affair...

[SanShou Guru]

Well I gave up a spot on the US National Team and an almost sure medal at the 2001 Wushu Championships in Armenia for my family. I regret that I had to but not why I had to. Spend time with my son or training was an easy call. Besides I get a lot less crap about getting Dain Bramage now from the wife, of course Marvin Perry did land a spin side kick to my eye three weeks ago. It made the room go silly. You have to be prepared for your students to listen to you.