Internal Skill and Celibacy

[Justa Man]

I've been hearing more and more about non-ejacualtion and how it aids internal skill and development. Does anyone know where I can get information about it on the web or something? Does anyone have info or an opinion they'd like to share?

[Ray Pina]

I practiced it a few years ago. Trying to hold out for about two weeks at a time. Once I was into it, it wasn't hard at all. But once you give in, go to any porno or just hitting clubs looking for chicks, its all over.

What did I get out of it? I was very clear. I was very in tune; not out of sink. Things, answers, came to me. Like I was bein driven. It was the most productive time of my life (though maybe because I just graduated college and had to change anway) in terms of being pointed in a direction and realizing it was the one I always wanted.

Later, up to a month ago actually, I slipped in this practice for reasons unclear to me. Maybe I was unhappy and needed a distraction.

Anyway, a few weeks ago my master said this in regards to sperm: "One drop of sperm is like 10 drops of blood."

He explained how reproduction, regeneration of the species, is always the number one priority. So spilling this takes up energy to focus on replacing.

Now, when you feel all good and relaxed, think of what you see behind being multiplied by 10, and red, your blood. Not healhty to loose thatmuch that often.

I'm back on track and feeling good.

I actually had sex the other day, after a 7 or 8 day break (hey' its a start). My ***** was no sensitive to the touch afterwards. In fact, still quite strong and ready.

I put it away.

I'm trying to get back to at least a 13 day hold off for my age now. I'm sure I'll learn more with time.

[Water Dragon]

I have an opinion:

Yes, the skill may exist, but maybe you don't want it that bad.

They say the Golden Bell can drive you crazy.
I know from experience that connecting the orbits will make you sicker than a dog.

Do you really want to give up sex for 3 years to get the lower basin?

[Repulsive Monkey]

dictates that Jing (our constitutional/life long energy) is housed in the Kidneys and represents in very much the same way as a battery does i.e. Kidneys are our battery and when the Jing is all used up the battery is dead, thus we die . Normally Jing depletes with age and/or serious illness or other lifestyle factors. Excess or even moderate depletion of semen through ejaculation depletes the level of Jing from the Kidneys, so it is like wearing down a battery uneccessarily. Other things can wear down the battery of the Kidneys before its time, but Chinese Medicine says that ejaculation and the loss of semen depletes our Jing quite heavily thus is the reason it is said why the Taoists practiced semen retention exercises whilst mking love to preserve their health on into old age. Excess sex in Chinese Medicine in men is definitely considered a symptom of premature ageing and other Kidney deficiencies, such has greying hair, losing teeth and brittle/weakening bones. Read a general book on Chinese Medicine about Jing and you will get a broader and more detailed picture about Jing and sex.

[Stranger]

What lineages/kwoons are associated with these practices?

Does this have to do with hanging weights from the testicles as well, or is that something else?

What is the "lower basin"?


Is this a hsing i thing? a pakua thing? a taichi thing?

How about baji and/or piqua?

[Ray Pina]

I don't ask too much detail as far as, where does this or that coem from. I'm relatively new, one year at a Chinatown school, one of a few non-asians. My master has proven to me numerous times that he a) doesn't talk $hit, b) knows what he is talking about and c) is the real deal.

So when he speaks, I listen, and I do my best to follow his teachings. We haven't goten into this as a coarse of study, it just came up one day (no pun intended).

Now, am I willing to give sex up for three years? Man, that's a tough one. Honestly, if my teacher told me it was 100% necessary to obtain a higher level of skill -- yes.

I don;t know how I'd do it, but where there is a will there is a way.

He hasn't said that yet thought:)

[prana]

Now, am I willing to give sex up for three years? Man, that's a tough one. Honestly, if my teacher told me it was 100% necessary to obtain a higher level of skill -- yes.

I dont think that is neccesary to not have sex for 3 years. I think it will naturally want to come out when you least expect it, like when you are sleeping. But if you develop your mind, you will be able to retain the "Jing", as soon as you are about to expel, even in your sleep, and drive it into the rising path. But of course, it is not very good to just retain "Jing" if you havent had control over the path yet...

Trying to hold out for about two weeks at a time. Once I was into it, it wasn't hard at all. But once you give in, go to any porno or just hitting clubs looking for chicks, its all over.

Many people meditate oneself as dead to understand why simply having sex is inadequate (for people who train this technique). Such as reflecting on oneself, as decaying, dying, and no longer desirable, no longer pretty good to look at. It is like hair, if it is on a beautiful woman, you think "how I like her hair". When you find hair in your soup, suddenly, you are angered.

______________________________

But I dont practise this :)

[Kumkuat]

man, I jerk off every day and see where my skills are. Yep, almost nonexsistant. So maybe it does have some truth in it. Of course, I can practice more.

[Fu-Pow]

I think like anything moderation is the key.

Is it a good idea to spank your monkey 3 times in an hour and then go to Taiji practice?

Probably not.

Can you have an active sex life and still become a good internal artist?

Most likely ,yes.

What I think most westerners fail to understand is that there is a whole cultural bias tied up in this question. Before the advent of modern medicine semen was considered some sort of magical substance. Now we know it is just seminal fluid, sperm and dna.

The problem is that even though we have this knowledge the previous idea of magic semen persisted so long in Chinese culture that even now people are reluctant to change these ideas. So you can ask your teacher and he'll say "oh, yes....sex is bad for chi." And you can ask how he knows and he'll say "well, everyone know that." You get the picture.

I mean come on (no pun intended) TCM also states that semen energy can be reabsorbed and sent up the spine to the brain.

Uh....ok.

[Water Dragon]

Originally posted by Fu-Pow
I think like anything moderation is the key.


I mean come on (no pun intended)
Uh....ok.

LOL @ Fu-Pow

:D

[Justa Man]

i'd definitly give it up for 3 years to reach lower basin skills. i just started hearing about it 2 weeks ago and i haven't squandered my semen since. i mean, i could still have sex, i just can't cum right? same goes for spanking the monkey, i just can't cum. i've been doing that and at first it was hard, but it's gotten much easier.
t-minus 2 years, 11 months and 17 days till lower basin !

[Repulsive Monkey]

you are incorrect in quoting that semen goes up to the brain. The Jing housed within the Semen is energetically redirected up the ascending channels to the brain. This is a very real act. Your generalised condemnation of TCM is unfortunately, for you, the Aegis in its own strong foundation. Do not believe that the onset of modern day western scientific models of explanantion finally laid all old well founded ancient systems of medicine to rest, quite the opposite in fact. In fact all it did was make itself another addition to the plethora of other systems of medicine. He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword!!

[dfedorko@mindspring.com]

For what it is worth, you may contact Thomas Richard Joiner. He is an Herbalist and Qigong Master. He sent me the formula I talked about a few weeks ago. If anyone can help you - he can. His email is tjseaofchi@aol.com

Have a good day.

xiaotiema:)

[Ray Pina]

Has anyone heard or know of a way to have your cake and eat your coookies too?

In other words: Go all the way -- all the way -- bus still retain the portion that is needed.

I had to ask, after all, I'm an American ... I don't want to suffer.

[fa_jing]

Well, just thought I'd chime in with embarassing facts about my personal life to complete strangers!!

My personal best non-splooging: 37 days. I'm a young guy 27 years old, this was about a year ago. This was easier because my then-fiancee was out of the country.

In general, too much sex (like every day) makes me feel depleted.
I'm married. Twice a week on average. Depends on your partner too! You know how women are--sometimes they need alot, sometimes they don't. If she's on the rag, use the opportunity to replenish your store-no activity.

After approximately 10 days without, I feel energy flow into the pereneum. This greatly increases my ability to meditate and move energy throughout my body. I can't shoot it out of my fingers or anything, though! Also, my leg endurance begins to increase.

I haven't had too many good experiences with sperm retention during sex. Maybe I haven't reached that level, but I prefer an all-or-none approach.

I found that changing my sexual habits made me a much calmer person, less prone to unwanted thoughts and impluses. I am much more energetic, and overall happier.

If you do want to practise this, you must avoid sexual thoughts, physical stimulation. Avoiding red meat and cigarettes will also help. It is useful to practice meditation or chi-gung, or yogic exercies. My favorite is repeating the Sun Salutation 12 times. I find this will calm you down if you are feeling a strong sex impluse.

The drop ' o semen = 10 drops of blood rule comes from Indian esoteric practices. Check out http://www-ucpress.berkeley.edu:3030/dynaweb/public/books/south_asia/alter/@Generic__BookTextView/5075#X

Indian wrestlers also use Hasish to help control the sex drive. I think this is the case, if you use it that way. Getting high and reading a porno mag is obviously not going to help you.

Controlling sexual excess is not based solely on tradition! It has a lot to do with health and becoming a better fighter. Example: Muhummad Ali used to abstain from sex for 6 weeks before his fights. He made a statement along the lines of "Abstinence makes a great fighter."

You can take less drastic steps. Start by never jerking off. After the addiction leaves you you will realize what a negative act this is. If you have nocturnal emissions as a result, that's okay, as long as they aren't too frequent. Don't excessively fantasize or use sex as daily entertainment.

Practise your breathing!

Happy retention!

[Fu-Pow]

Do not believe that the onset of modern day western scientific models of explanantion finally laid all old well founded ancient systems of medicine to rest, quite the opposite in fact.

I will stand behind science because I believe it is the one method available to human beings that allows us to shed light on the true workings of the natural world.

While there may validity in some Chinese medical practices, for example herbal treatments, there is no intrinsic "method" by which to judge which practices work and those that don't.

What criteria makes any one practice more valid than the next?

A lot of what qualifies as TCM seems to me to be common sense.

For example, semen retention is not unique to Chinese Medicine. Most highschool sports coaches also tell their players not to go have wild sex before a big game. Why? Because there are quantifiable physiological effects of hormone levels after sexual intercourse resulting in a loss of concentration and physical stamina.

Its not anything as mystical as "chi."

But this could only be determined by science. The ancient Chinese would only see the effect and try to fit that effect in with their current philosophical framework. They may have occassionly found a remedy that actually worked but this was just a shot in the dark.

[Repulsive Monkey]

It humours me that you refer to yourself as a Taoist Humanist rather. Taoism is as scientific as it gets!! How do you think the Taoists of old procured their information on practices in internal Alchemy and the such?? By their own personal research and development and registering results and modifying methodology. I like your slant in hypocrisy too, when one moment you uphold western science as being the be all and end alll yet a paragraph later you exclaim about what makes one method more valid than another??? Well can you tell me then?? Western thought is just that a thought. If you beleive that it explains things that don't even feature in its sphere of recognition then be it upon your own head friend!! It's just like a German to English translator trying to translate a worded document which is written Spanish. You can try your best to make it fit into your chosen model of understanding, but ultimately it won't work. I too accept western science as I do eastern science, but I hold neither to high as to blind the other, why do you? Do you have enough theoretical and practical experience of both to warrant a valid decision in this area? Many do you know and many don't.

[GreyMystik]

different maps describing the same territories ;)

[Justa Man]

taijiquan_student,
i said "t-minus" till ower basin, cuz that's what water dragon said i'd get in 3 years. lower basin is walking with the thighs parrallel to the floor. i do know that much. i've gotten most of my info from that interview on jarek's website, from a thread on this board a few weeks back and from the book Health, Sex and Longevity. i've wanted to learn more though. i know nothing more about lower basin than the bit Ma dropped in his interview. he says you can injure yourself tryin to get to lower basin without being celibant. i'm going to email that one guy dfe****o told about and see what he says. i'll definitly relay the response onto this thread.
i don't think giving up ejaculation is that hard. sex can still be had, like i said. i see the skill payoff for celibacy as a very acceptable trade for the skills that are told about.

fa jing,
do i really need to avoid sexual thoughts, and red meat? where did you get this info from? it's been over 2 weeks and i feel stronger than i did. i woke this morning with 6 hours of sleep and felt fully rested (i'm usually a 7-8 hour sleeper). i've read that miles davis would avoid sex before a show, as he said he would have nothing to give to the crowd if he did have sex. i've read of taoists who practice semen retention, having alot of sex, just not cumming. i'm interested in your advice.

2 years, 11 months, 16 days left till i can walk under cars!

[Fu-Pow]

It humours me that you refer to yourself as a Taoist Humanist rather. Taoism is as scientific as it gets!!

I see Taoism as a kind of pseudo-science mixed with philosophy and religion.

Let me explain my handle for a minute. I think that for the most part ancient Taoists were really observant, smart, clever and thoughtful people and there is a wealth of information to learn from them (including things like personal philosophy, preventative medical practices and martial arts). However, because I subscribe to some of their principles and practices does not mean I buy into them all.

Ultimately because Taoism and TCM are largely subjective and experiential they can be abused. I believe whatever your personal beliefs are that first and for most you should be a humanist. This means that at the end of the day no matter what you believe human beings and the human condition should be at the forefront of concern.

For example, while you might see me learning meditation for the purpose of relaxation and focus you would never see me spending hour upon hour meditating to increase the strength of my "spirit body." When I could be helping my fellow man.

This is my philosophy this is how I see things.

So how does my view of TCM fit in here? Well I think that there are some good preventative practices here. However, the humanist in me says that people should not be putting too much stock in things that we can't measure. Especially , when scientifically sound medical treatment is available. Do I believe in Chi? I'm very skeptical. As far as MA's go I think you can chalk most of what is supposed to be "Chi" as good body mechanics.

Now back to the question of celibacy.

I don't believe that my fellow humans should for go a natural and beautiful thing like sex to chase after something vague like Chi.

[Ray Pina]

I consider myself a man of science. When it comes to this sex talk, I don't know. I don't know what the benefits are other then what I feel when I obstain for a while.

As for chi. I was, I wouldn't say skeptical, because the though was intrigueing, but not so quick to say yes, because I never felt it even after doing tons of excercises that my other teachers taught me.

One year of E-Chuan: I am now a knower.

[Repulsive Monkey]

TCM and Taoism can ONLY be described as subjective if you have part-time interest in them and do not comprehend these areas. If you treat these sciences like one would buy sweets from a pick and mix, then it is quite acceptable that people will have an incomplete understanding into their essences, and their true meanings. If you just happen to see Taoism or aspects of it as you say you do, then one can realistically accept that an incomplete and partial idea has been acheived here. I mean really, how can lambast something which by your own admission you know so little of? Can you tell me about how much practical understanding and experience you have of Chinese Medicine? Have you studied it? Or have read a few magazine articles on it?
Again I do not put TCM over Conventional medicine or vice versa, but I do have an opinion based upon the study of theory and practice that I have done in both areas. Most people would say that this illustrates A CONSIDERED OPINION!!!! What is yours based on?

[Fu-Pow]

Repulsive Monkey-

Your line of questioning is not going to take us anywhere. This is an internet message board. What do you want credentials? A list of books that I've read? Who my teacher is? All of this is a bit irrelevant. And BTW can be easily faked.

I'm sorry you don't share my views, but thats what this message board is here for....to express views and opinions. My opinion is that most of TCM is B.S. And I'm basing that on my OPINION. I'm not going to cite articles or studies or drop names. I'm arguing from a purely theoretical stand point. In terms of western science Chi is purely crap and I've never read any objective studies that says it does exist. I've practiced Chi Gung/TaiJi for "a while." Thats all you need to know.

Why don't you share your own experiences as opposed to attacking my knowledge?

[Nexus]

What is a taoist or a t'ai chi master anyways? I see exactly where Repulsive M. and Fu-Pow are coming from, and you both have perfectly valid points for the type of lives you are trying to cultivate. Fu-Pow, you are simply being yourself, and if Repulsive Monkey is the practicing taoist he assumes himself to be then that would be obvious to him. There is no right or wrong way to practice taoism, taoism is holistic and non-dualistic. Right and Wrong are opinions, there is a very "if this then what?" schema surrounding them.

As for celebacy, I celebate here and celebate there.

I can provide some book references for those interested in the actual taoist sex practices. If one retains jing by not ejaculating, and conserving the sexual energies of body, in meditation they will be able to redirect that sexual energy to nourish the brain, the flower of enlightenment so to speak.

The use of the perenium is a key figure in the meditations used to direct energy to the brain, by squeezing it the energy in the body automatically begins to rise. When I first began the practice of retention, my teacher told me that every time I used the restroom to cut off the flow of urine three times. Essentially the idea here is to build up the ability to flex the muscles in that area of the body and hold them tightly and in combination with the meditation the effects are drawn.

As for having a lot of energy, after about two weeks of semen retention your body will definetely become more energetic. When I began, after about three weeks I could wake up with five hours of sleep and feel completely refreshed, whereas before eight hours sometimes left me feeling groggy.

I'll provide some details in this area so those interested in the practice who don't have the proper resources locally can get an idea of the books and instructions available.

As for having a sex life though, taoism has no direct conflict with ones choice to have sexual activity. In fact, some of the fascets of taoism use a sexual partner with whom you both participate in certain practices.

To wrap this up though, I practice some of these methods, and will do what I can to answer questions as appropriately as possible.

This subject can always be rather sticky. ;)

- Nexus

[prana]

Hi Fu-Pow,

I am not interested in arguments, but since you placed some of your opinions, please let me put some of mine :)


I see Taoism as a kind of pseudo-science mixed with philosophy and religion.

Although I do not know Taoism, some of the acts of retention are practised, and borned from realisations, from hours of meditation on emptiness, not believing in anything in particular. It is unlike going to school where information is forced unto you. Albeit there are "fakes" out there who use this for nasty purposes, as there are in many other faiths and sciences.


me spending hour upon hour meditating to increase the strength of my "spirit body." When I could be helping my fellow man.

There is a saying, when you are drowning in the ocean, how are you supposed to help another who is also drowning.

It is noble of you to want to help people, and you think you are capable of it, then please by all means, I think that is great kindness. I think this is the method you want to use.

I think about helping people when they are sick. Sometimes Western method is great, and sometimes Eastern method is great. I think this is the method that RM finds much encouragement...

However, I think the most feared upon act of man is in death itself. At least that is my opinion. And that is difficult to help. People die in pain, they scream to their deaths, suffer extreme pain in many cases and lose everything suddenly, inclidung all their loved ones, all their possessions and their own body. I cant even imagine losing my limbs... such suffering. And if I died suddenly away from my loved ones, I would be so sad because I ddint get a chance to say good bye and tell them it is okay for me to go.

You want to help them in a worldly way, some people want to help others during their journey in the bardo. We all have differnt ideas of kindness.


Do I believe in Chi? I'm very skeptical. As far as MA's go I think you can chalk most of what is supposed to be "Chi" as good body mechanics.

Actually, the discovery of Chi was not founded upon mechanics. In fact, it is through doing absolutely nothing (emptiness) that yogins discovered how the Chi best travels in meridians. Yogins in fact thought postural exercises to aid in releasing knots in your meridians, hence the various Hatha Yogas

When BodhiDharma taught the few simple stretches, they look nothing like Martial Arts to the untrained eye. In fact, most people wouldnt have the discipline to practise them because they are so simple and boring. I know I was one of those people.

May I suggest that you might have confused Chi with Physical Power, "Ging" and basically fighting arts. Chi is not body mechanics... but fighting arts can use (must.. depends on your difinition) Chi :)


Now back to the question of celibacy. I don't believe that my fellow humans should for go a natural and beautiful thing like sex to chase after something vague like Chi.

I can understand this, and you say it with all authority. In fact, I think it might be wiser that you do not dwell in such practises at all, it can be extremely dangerous... so better not to know anything about it and live a free and happy life, than to try and practise it and end up in regret.

I hope I have not offended you, nor Repulsive Monkey. And I hope you guys dont get mad at me either ... causer I am just another loser suffering in this life struggling to keep happy.

[Nexus]

I hope I have not offended you, nor Repulsive Monkey. And I hope you guys dont get mad at me either ... causer I am just another loser suffering in this life struggling to keep happy.

It's difficult to remember the last time you were happy, especially due to the fact you were too busy laughing.

:)

- Nexus

[prana]

Originally posted by Nexus


It's difficult to remember the last time you were happy, especially due to the fact you were too busy laughing.

:)

- Nexus

Hey Nexus, why is it I never understand what you are saying ? hehe never mind .... someone care to explain to the slow one on the board (ie. me) ?

[Nexus]

Originally posted by prana


Hey Nexus, why is it I never understand what you are saying ? hehe never mind .... someone care to explain to the slow one on the board (ie. me) ?

Why do you spend much of your time talking yourself down and making yourself appear to be lesser than those around you?

As for the comment I made, happiness is in the moment of experience, as are the many emotions we feel. To live a happy life is to judge one's life up until this point, which is a reflection of the past and not an assessment of the current moment in time or the time to come.

The path we take is one of making the experiences we have by ourselves and those we share with others more fulfilling.

I'll leave it at that and keep things simple.

- Nexus

[prana]

Why do you spend much of your time talking yourself down and making yourself appear to be lesser than those around you?

It is a bad habit of mine. :(

Because if I accidentally step on someones toes, or say something they dont neccesarilly accept, that they realise I dont want to shove it down their throat, or cause them into heated arguments. Something like that... just the way I am I guess. I hate arguments... unless it is a freindly one :D



Hmmmm



As for the comment I made, happiness is in the moment of experience, as are the many emotions we feel. To live a happy life is to judge one's life up until this point, which is a reflection of the past and not an assessment of the current moment in time or the time to come.

The path we take is one of making the experiences we have by ourselves and those we share with others more fulfilling.

I'll leave it at that and keep things simple.


That is cool...

[Nexus]

Prana, check your private messages.

[fa_jing]

In answer to your question, I wasn't saying that eating red meat or having sexual thoughts during the practice of semen retention is going to hurt you, like make your balls fall off or something. I was just pointing out that avoiding these things made it easier for me to reach my goal. I informed myself through reading, like the Yang -Jwing-Ming books on Chi-Gong, or books by Mantak Chia, instead of presenting that information, which you can find and judge for yourself, I'm giving you my own personal experience. Actually, during my 37-day best I a few times did eat red meat and smoke cigarettes, I just found this made it more difficult, in other words it would make me hornier later on in the day. As for having sex and not ejaculating, this depends on your partner. The woman has to actually cooperate with this by not moving at the appropriate time, and it seems that it would be introducing an unnatural element into our relationship. I have done this a few times without necessarily planning to when I was tired but that is something else, if you've already gone a few days without sex and your energy level is high, it's going to be harder to resist. If I just had a girlfriend I didn't care too much about, and I was using a condom, yeah I would probably hold back at the end, cause I'd rather keep my sperm for myself than splooge into a rubber, just throwing away all that valuable energy. While my current relationship, it's all about the exchange of energies. Plus if you hold back from ejaculating, you can actually draw energy from your partner. This I can't verify personally, but I read about it in one of those Mantak Chia books under "Sexual Vampirism." Since I'm married and I love my wife, I ain't gonna be robbing her energy, if anything, I'll give her something to process ;) Basically I don't know enough about higher level practices to try this sex + no ejaculate thing, seems somewhat dangerous to you and your partner if you don't know exactly what your doing. My personal experience just covers abstinance and moderation, which I have only good things to say about.

-FJ

[Repulsive Monkey]

I'm sorry if I have sounded too argumentative, and I do honestly repsect your opinions. It's obvious that I don't agree with them and how they were created but then hey thats what individuality is all about, it's not like were all clones (yet!!). I'm gonna put a hault to our line of banter on this subject as I feel both of us probably aren't getting anything that positive out of it, do you agree? Lets just accept that we both have differing views on the subject. I can live with that as I'm sure you can too?

[Fu-Pow]

Agreed, you can never force understanding on someone. Like lotuses in the pond we are all developing at different levels.

[Justa Man]

thanks fa_jing for clearing up the red meat thing. i was most concerened with that because red meat is part of my diet and i didn't want to cut it out. i've ben eating it everyday since before i started this, and have had no trouble with controlling my ejac desires, as i've actually had no desire to drop my load anyway. it's strange, because once i made up my mind that this would be a good thing for my internal development, i lost all desire to jizz. it hardly appeals to me now.

thanks nexus for your 2 cents. i've been doing the perenium exercises when i pee for a couple of years now. when it comes to sex, when i'm nearing that point i tend to pull out and hold it rather than have my girl not move. they don't seem to mind thus far, but they do think it is THE STRANGEST thing in the world. i'd loce a taoist partner...one who understood these things and was down to cultivate our energy like this. too bas there isn't a taoist personnals website to meet a taoist girl on.

that guy (tsseaofchi@whateveritwas.com) got back to me on 'lower basin' and semen retention vs straight celibacy. here's his reply for those interested:

"At the risk of appearing self-promoting may I suggest that you read "the Warrior as Healer," a book that I wrote several years ago. In it I discuss this subject and recommend several herbal formulas that will assist you (the practitioner) in sperm conservation.

The practice to which you refer is known as "Liu Fang Ching," and it recommends semen retention for approx. 100 days -- approximate because it differs slightly from one individual to the next depending on the extent of previous sexual abuse.

You are correct in assuming that it is only necessary to avoid ejaculation -- sexual activity is OK -- if the practitioner has the control that is needed to carryout the protocol. I should mention that there are a few technical points that are important, such as: control of the anus, as well as abdominal breathing, etc. There are also herbs that nourish the "jing" (sexual energy/sperm production) that are an important part of the process.

Finally, I should close by reminding you that last by not least daily meditation in conjunction with sperm retention is the underlying secret to developing internal power."